by Melissa Haag
He carried one of the steaming pots to the tub, dumped it, then came back to refill it. I caught myself staring at the muscles in his back and arms as he worked the pump, and I quickly looked away. My face was warm, my mouth a little dry, and my pulse too fast.
“I’m going to run and get some clean clothes,” I said, moving toward the main door.
“Hold on. I’ll go too.”
I stopped by the door. “There’s no need.”
“I need to grab some clothes.” He started walking toward me. I swallowed hard, staring once again at his naked chest.
What was wrong with me? He’d carried me like that, and I hadn’t had so much of an issue at the time. Granted I’d been too stunned by the experience of him running to notice him. And on the way back, I’d been carrying dead fish. There was nothing remotely romantic about dead fish.
“I can grab them for you,” I said, meeting his gaze.
He tilted his head and studied me.
“My kind tends to attack you when you’re alone. I’d rather not leave you.”
“Okay.” I turned and started to walk before my heating cheeks could give me away.
“Charlene, is something bothering you?”
“Yes, but I don’t want to talk about it.”
He chuckled.
“Honesty. It’s refreshing.”
“Not really. You’re just more of a pain when I lie.”
He laughed and waited in the hall as I grabbed clothes from my room. When he went to his room, he left the door open. It was the first time I looked inside. There was nothing within except another pair of pants on the floor.
I stepped in further, looking around.
“It’s so...empty. Someday, it won’t be like this,” I said, imagining what his people could do if they worked together.
“What do you see in your someday?” he asked, coming close.
I stared into the room, no longer really seeing it.
“This building and the other buildings will be brimming with life, an ever changing community of families. Most will stay to raise their young in the protection of a safer environment. These rooms will be their homes within our home. And I see happiness. A lot of laughter and friendship. No more dying race or hiding in the woods.”
“I like what you see. And someday, I know you’ll help make it all happen.”
“How do you know?”
“Because, without you, no one has a reason to stay.”
He reached up and gently brushed his hand across my cheek.
I wrinkled my nose.
“We need our baths.”
He smiled and dropped his hand. I left the room and started down the stairs, listening to him follow.
“You know,” he said, “we wouldn’t need to heat as much water if we shared.”
“That’s not going to happen,” I said over my shoulder.
He chuckled.
* * * *
The fish finished cooking before I was done with my bath. Thomas had insisted I go first since I wouldn’t share. By the time I opened the door, Mary and Gregory had returned and were sitting with Ann and Leif at the table.
“Ann, I’d be happy to hold the baby while you eat,” I quickly offered.
“Oh, thank you, Charlene.” Ann stood and gently placed the sleeping girl in my arms. “She is so sweet, but it’s nice to sit and eat.”
“I’ve been wondering. If the babies are born as babies, how does that work in the woods? How do wolves carry babies?”
“We try to give them a week before we force the change. During that week, we typically don’t leave our birthing den. It’s safer that way,” Ann said.
“Force the change? You mean they can change into a wolf already?”
She nodded.
“A small, fluffy, blind cub. Adorable. But it’s painful for them and scary. Some don’t live through the process. While I was still pregnant, I asked Winifred about it. I know she has no cubs, but as an Elder I thought she might have an answer.”
“Answer to what?”
“If the forced change was the reason we have such a low population and even fewer females. Is it really that less are born or that less survive? She didn’t know. But, she’s let many of the expecting mothers know about this place. We’re hoping to stay until the rest of the pack returns, before we try to force the change.”
“How do you force the change?”
“Our wolf form is our defensive form. We naturally shift when startled badly enough.”
“So you’re going to scare her?” I looked down at the babe, her mouth puckered so her glistening bottom lip stuck out. Scaring this baby—any baby—just seemed wrong. “I hope you can stay longer than a month.” But I knew that would depend on the mood of the pack members Thomas had sent away.
I walked the baby until Ann finished eating then took my own place. The men from the junk yard came in. Their hair was damp but their clothes were dry and dirty.
“If you want to change, I’ll wash those clothes for you tomorrow,” I said as they all moved to the stove.
“Thank you. We appreciate it. And dinner,” Anton said. He seemed to speak for the group as the rest gave some measure of agreement.
Thomas stepped out of the bathroom, toweling his hair.
“What did you learn in town?”
Though he looked at Gregory, Mary answered.
“There are a few jobs that might work. A plumber is looking for an apprentice. It would require someone to move into town, though.”
Thomas sat beside me as Mary spoke.
“The man has his own business and takes calls any time of night. He has a room in the back of his garage he’d rent out. He’d be willing to deduct from someone’s wages to cover it.”
“I’ll go,” Bine said as he sat at the table.
“We looked at the room,” Mary said. “It has a cot in it and nothing else. No electricity or stove for when the weather gets cold.”
“I’ll manage,” Bine said.
Thomas nodded.
“Anything else?”
“Nothing we thought any one would be interested in. The library needs some part time help as does the grocery store for stacking shelves at night. The store might be too tempting.”
I agreed with Mary. Thomas seemed to as well because he didn’t push either of those options.
“Bine, your wages first need to house you, feed you, and clothe you. Anything you can spare should return to the pack so we may do the same for all the members,” Thomas said. Bine dipped his head in agreement. “And when you need to run, come here.”
With Bine’s contribution and the wages from those working short-term at the yard, we might be able to build up a surplus of supplies. I finished my fish, brought my plate to the sink and opened the supply cabinet. I inventoried everything with a frown. We’d gone through more than half of what Winifred brought with her, and that was without the full pack here. We needed to plan ahead for meals, portions, and supplies needed. Having the lake and the old garden would help supplement us but as the pack grew, we would need more.
“Charlene?” Thomas asked from just behind me, making me jump. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong. I’m only thinking of supplies and lists and what we’ll need over the next few months.” There were only a few handfuls of oats left for breakfast. I wondered if Thomas had more cereal hidden somewhere. “How much did Winifred get for the metal?”
“She was able to buy larger bags of oats, rice, beans, peas, pasta, flour, and sugar. She also has some spices, a tub of lard, yeast, books, more clothes, blankets, oil lamps, and chocolate chips.”
“Chocolate chips?” I asked, glancing away from the supplies.
“She wants to bake the cookies here with you.”
I wondered what bribe the cookies were for. I guessed I’d find out soon enough.
“When is she arriving?” I asked.
“She is just leaving now and doesn’t expect to be here for several hours. She suggests y
ou go to sleep as usual, and she’ll see you in the morning.”
I nodded and moved back to the sink. Thomas brought over some of the warm water from the stove and filled the tin pot in the trough so I could wash the dishes. Then he moved to help dry them. Together, we worked through the dishes everyone brought to us. When we finished, I turned and found the room cleaned and empty.
Thomas’ hands closed over my shoulders and his thumbs gently rubbed the muscles that I hadn’t thought sore a moment ago.
“Did you enjoy today?” he asked, hesitantly.
I glanced back at him. He wasn’t the hesitating type. His gaze searched mine.
“I did. Why are you asking?”
“I don’t want you to be lonely here, Charlene. If you’re feeling that way again, tell me. Please.”
I nodded. His hands dropped to his sides, and after a moment, he went outside.
* * * *
Winifred had brought eggs. Dozens of eggs. And sausage links. The smell of them as they sizzled in one of the pots made my stomach cramp. I hovered near the stove, using a fork to turn them. A few times, I had to yank my hand back as grease popped and spattered.
“Please,” Thomas said again, watching me wince. “Let me.”
“No, it’s okay.” I didn’t want to surrender the fork. As soon as I found one cooked through, it was going to be mine.
He plucked the fork from my hand. “Mary, pump some cold water for her, please.” He pushed me toward the sink.
“Bully,” I mumbled as I dragged my feet toward the pump.
Mary grinned and shook her head. When I got close enough, she started pumping. I stuck my right hand into the cold water. There were four red dots on the back and one large one on the knuckle. I let her pump until my hand grew numb. Mary didn’t seem to grow tired or mind.
“It’s done,” Thomas said.
I turned and found the men lined up behind him. They all had plates. Thomas had a plate, too, already piled with eggs and sausage. He moved to the table and set the plate down as I tried to hide my disappointment and guilt. I wasn’t the only one starved for something more than oatmeal, which was what I’d served for breakfast the past week.
I’d almost passed the table to stand at the back of the line when Thomas snagged my hand. He tugged me to the bench beside him and offered me a fork. I smiled as I understood he meant to share and quickly sat. The first bite of sausage made me want to groan. As I chewed, savoring the salty meat, the men sat at the tables near the main door. They dug in with enthusiasm. As usual, Thomas had yet to take a bite. He sat beside me and watched me.
I finished my sausage and quickly skewered a second. That one I waved in front of his face.
“If you don’t start eating, there won’t be anything left.” It was a bluff. Though my eyes wanted me to eat everything on the plate, my stomach would eventually rebel if I tried.
He smiled and chomped the sausage right off the fork before I could yank it out of the way. I blinked at my empty tines. Maybe I was the one who needed to eat faster.
He picked up his fork and started to eat. He ate slow, sticking to his side of the plate while I vacuumed the food in until my stomach ached. I set down my fork with a groan. I’d eaten a bit more than my share. He pulled the plate in front of him and finished the rest in a few moments.
Then he did something that made me stare. He licked my fork. I sat there stupidly as he stood and carried the dishes to the sink. I was glad for the space. The rest of the men stood and followed Thomas’ example. Then, they all made for the door, leaving Winifred, Mary, Ann, and me.
Winifred had collected Ann’s new daughter as soon as she’d arrived. The two women were still speaking quietly. Mary and I went to the pump and began washing dishes.
While I dried, I kept looking at the bags of supplies. There were so many. I couldn’t wait to dig into them even though I already knew what they contained.
We just finished with the dishes when Winifred said, “Mary, Gregory is waiting for you outside.”
Ann left the room with her daughter, and I watched Mary nod and walk to the door. Winifred closed the door behind her.
“Ready to bake?”
“We can bake,” I said. “But I’d feel more comfortable doing it if you would tell me why another bribe is needed.”
Winifred sighed.
“It’s not a bribe, dear. But I did intend it to be a relaxing activity while we discussed what happened after I left.”
I cringed remembering the fight, my insistence to watch, and my general interference.
“I’m sorry,” I said, sincerely.
“For what?”
“For interfering. But if I’m going to live here, shouldn’t I act like I’m part of your community, too? If I don’t, I can’t see ever being accepted.”
Winifred came close and gave me a brief hug.
“You did well interfering. I’m proud of how you handled yourself and the situation. I think sending the malcontent away was the best move given the circumstance.” She stepped away, picked up a bag, and set it on top of the cleared table.
“However,” she said, “there is something else I’d like to understand.”
She began to unpack, and with trepidation, I moved to help.
“That was the second time you knocked a few men back without lifting a finger. How is that possible?”
It felt as if my heart stopped and dropped into my stomach like a rock. I didn’t let panic control me, though. After a calming breath, I answered.
“How is it possible that werewolves exist, or that you can control them with a thought or command? Some things are just possible. The reasons behind the possibilities aren’t for us to understand or explain; we’re just meant to accept them.” I continued to unpack bags as I spoke. “I’ve accepted that I’m different and can do things others can’t. Now that you know what I can do, can you accept me?”
Winifred turned from placing the large bag of rice in the cabinet and studied me.
“I accept you for what you are, and hope that you will explain what, exactly, it is you can do.”
With the terrible moment of truth before me, I slowly sank to a chair. Did she, like Thomas, think I only moved things with my mind? Once I told her the truth, would she then want me to leave? I folded my hands together and met Winifred’s gaze.
“I ran from my home, from everything I knew and loved, because I understood my secret, my ability, would change how everyone saw me. My secret is just as dangerous as yours and can never be shared.”
She sat in the chair across from me and nodded. I took another steadying breath and tried to ignore the feeling that I needed to keep my ability to myself.
“I can control people. With a thought, my will becomes their will. I’ve never ill-used my ability. Since the day I was born, I’ve known it’s meant to help and protect; others before myself.
“I can’t control your kind. Not like I could mine. I think I understand how you control the pack, though. You implant your thought in them. It’s essentially how my ability works with humans; I hold a person’s will and let my will flow into them. But with your kind, I couldn’t hold your wills long enough to influence anyone. But, when that man attacked me in my bedroom, I...” I shrugged and shook my head. It felt so wrong talking about what I could do. I’d kept this secret for too long.
“You found a way?” Winifred said. Worry flooded her gaze.
“Not exactly. I couldn’t control him, but I knew what I wanted. I wanted him off. In my desperation, it was like my desire to have him off me hardened into something physical. I hit him with it, and he flew off me. That’s when you came in.”
She nodded.
“And those times in the yard?”
Guiltily, I looked at my hands. In the yard, I did more than just beat back men. I controlled them. But something cautioned me against revealing that detail, a detail of which she was hopefully unaware.
“Every time I moved one of them, it was the same thing,” I sai
d, carefully wording my answer to avoid a lie.
She exhaled and considered me for a moment.
“As an Elder, I need to do what is best for the whole of our race. It relieves me that you can’t control us. That would represent a dangerous potential. Yet, as a human, you are at a disadvantage here, and hearing you have the ability to defend yourself is a relief. Mates are important. Without them, we have no future. As a potential mate, you are important to our kind. Yes, your ability is unique, but I see no reason it should concern us.” She patted my hand and stood. “Now, let’s finished this up and make some cookies.”
I returned her smile with a weak one of my own and moved to help. She accepted me because she sensed little threat in me. What would she do if she knew the truth, that I could control them, too?
Fourteen
It was a relief when Winifred left with another truck bed full of metal. Throughout the weekend, she’d continued to be nothing but kind. It just made keeping something from her harder. I wanted to tell her. Yet every time I set my mind to do so, something stopped me. It was as if a little voice in my head whispered caution.
“I wish she would have brought more eggs,” Mary said as I closed the outer door.
Winifred had brought six dozen. We ate three Saturday and three again that morning. It wasn’t just the men who liked to eat well. Mary did too. I grinned at her.
“She said she’d bring more next weekend. Until then, you’ll have to make due with oatmeal,” I said. Mary made a face and turned back to the dishes. I went to join her.
I was mentally preparing for another week of monotony when Thomas and Gregory walked in from outside.
“Ready, Charlene?”
“For what?” I asked, setting aside a plate.
“I thought we’d start with a walk along the north border.”
“Is that far?” I finished drying the last plate and wiped my hands.
“Far enough that I’d need to carry you there and back if we don’t want to sleep out there.”
There wasn’t much to do here. The laundry from the weekend could wait until tomorrow, and Mary was already making eyes at Gregory.
“Did you need me here for anything?” I asked her anyway.
