by Beth Garrod
Sadly, in no time at all, it was almost over. The band finished the set with an amazing version of “Bucketlist Blues”– which they played twice after they couldn’t stop the chants of “Again, again!”
“So, we’ll be hanging around for a bit now, but before we do, we wanted to say a huge thanks to Bella for making this all happen.”
Amil yelled, “THREE CHEERS FOR BELLA THE BONE!”
As if this was my life.
But it really wasn’t me who deserved the thanks.
As scary as it was I pushed my way through the crowd and pointed at the mic. “May I?”
Lis nodded. “All yours.” She passed me the microphone.
“So, er, if it’s OK, I wanted to say some thank yous?” It felt weird standing next to Lis and Rosie, looking out on all these people in Mum’s shop. I couldn’t believe I was doing voluntary public speaking, at least wearing a costume made it easier.
“The biggest one is for the Helicans, obvs.” I didn’t need to prompt anyone to start whooping. “Uh-huh! AmIright?!” The cheers went on. “Cos not only did their new stuff sound TOTALLY AMAZING, but they’ve taken time out of their tour to be here. And to support someone they hardly know.”
This time they got an even more heartfelt clap from everyone. Lis smiled awkwardly at her feet. “Our pleasure. Seriously. There aren’t enough women in business as it is, so what with dogs and food and charity, it was a no-brainer.” She started clapping towards my mum. “The world needs more Bella’s mums!”
Mum blushed and giggled. Jo yelled, “Tooooo right!” and Pastry howled as if she’d been training all her life to take excellent comedy cues.
But I had something else I wanted to say.
“So, if you don’t follow us on social media already, you can check out our accounts.” I pointed at all the posters we’d made. “And stock up early for Christmas. And, er, dog birthdays. And basically do whatever you can to support this local business, because my mum has put her heart and soul into this, and I’m going to do everything I can to help it be the success she deserves!”
Moving at a speed I’d never seen from her, Mum pushed through the crowd and gave me the most massive hug.
“I love you so much, Bellington Boot,” she whispered into where she thought my ear was, but accidentally said it right at the mic so it echoed round the room.
Luckily, I was too distracted to be embarrassed. Cos a face I recognized was peering in through the glass.
Shay. But instead of coming in, she spun round and hurried off.
Weird.
Was she cross I’d contacted her friends and not told her? Or didn’t she want to see her industry pals when she wasn’t prepared? I’d have to ask later, because right now there was too much going on. Including getting loads of pics of Mum as she chatted away to the band, the press peeps all taking notes.
All too soon it was time for the band to head off. After the biggest thank yous it was possible to give them (and as much ice cream as we could fit in to cool bags), Rach, Tegan, Mum, Jo, Mikey and I waved them off.
With everyone else now gone, we went back inside and shut the door, each of us having our own moment of wondering if it had all been a dream.
“This calls for,” Jo dug in her bag, “a little something I got earlier.”
Woah. An actual proper bottle of champagne?! I’d never had that in my life.
“Jo! You shouldn’t have?!” Mum was that fake-cross parents sometimes do when they’re secretly happy. It normally happened when you bought them a present. Jo grinned.
“I maaaaay have been given it when I won Athlete of the Season, but for reputation’s sake can we pretend I bought it because I’m both wealthy and generous?”
She popped the cork, and in the absence of proper glasses, we had a couple of sips each out of ice cream cones. My head felt weird, like when you bend over for too long then stand upright.
“Here’s to GADAC, and” – Jo looked at her phone – “hitting five thousand followers on Instagram, and yup … we’re actually trending right now.”
Mum smiled. “Well, isn’t that something?”
Jo and I laughed – that was what Mum always says when she doesn’t have a clue what we’re on about.
“And something’s happened that I think you will like. Bella?” Mum held out her phone. “If you look in my hair drop, apparently it’s all in there.”
I think she meant Airdrop. I opened the files.
And gasped. It was full of professional photos, of Pastry and Lis and the band, standing around Mum, all looking amazing under the GADAC sign. And, in the middle, like Gigi Hadid but with fur, Pastry was eyeballing the camera as she licked an ice cream. So fierce.
“Mum, this is SO COOL! You look so A-list!”
“It was Lis’s idea. After chatting about how I started the whole business she suggested that we do a collaboration. Pie-cecream and Pastry flavour. She hoped it could help raise even more for the Bark Shelter?” She flushed red. “Apparently the band are going to post it on their Facebook tomorrow.”
Rach’s jaw had dropped. “That’s freakin’ brilliant!”
“A total scoop!” I laughed as I held my hand up for a high five. But this called for more than that, and the five of us – me, Mum, Rach, Tegan, Mikey – ended up on the floor in a crumpled, celebrating heap.
“Sorry, you are how old?” Jo heckled from the side.
I grabbed her ankle. “Oi, this is how us Fishers do it.” I tugged at it, and without too much resistance she fell on top of us all.
And, out of all of the incredible moments that had happened tonight, this was my favourite.
CHAPTER
THIRTY-FOUR
The house was quiet. Weirdly quiet: just the faint hum of Mum singing along to Radio 2. She hadn’t had that on since Shay had made her switch to something cooler.
Jo had got up hours ago, so I was making full use of having my bed to myself, lying starfished, enjoying some peace after the manic-ness of yesterday.
My phone was still buzzing – a bit like me – but it could wait.
“OI. SNORE-BALL. PHONE FOR YOU.” Jo opened my door and lobbed the house handset at me.
Or maybe it couldn’t.
Someone had gone full landline on me. Something was up.
I used the shouting already coming from the phone to track it down in my duvet folds.
“BELLS!”
It was Rach, and she sounded excited. How could anyone be this excited about anything SO EARLY in the morning?
I squinted at my clock. 10.54 a.m. Hmm, still counted as morning.
“FINALLY! Guess where I’ve just come from?”
She was breathless. I hadn’t even said my first word of the day.
“A puppy breeder’s?”
“Nope.”
“J.K. Rowling’s kitchen and she cooked you pancakes?”
“No!!!” She was getting impatient.
“OK – Immagonna need some help.”
“TESCO.”
She announced it in the same way I’d expect the first person to land on Mars would do (landing on Mars – not going to a supermarket).
But why was this so earth-shatteringly important?
“Were they giving away free crisps?!”
“Better!” She squeaked like she was a human metal detector and it was getting nearer The Point.
“Free trolleys to take home and ride?”
“Better-er!!” She was so excited I knew if I held out another second she’d totally burst the news out.
Tick.
To—
“TMH!!!”
Ah. I got it. I’d seen the looks she’d been giving him last night. Had Colin achieved the impossible and managed to land a date with Rach in the romantic surroundings of the canned-food aisle?
“OMGHASSOMETHINGHAPPENED BETWEENYOUANDTMH?”
She made that No-how-dare-you-even-imply-it-but-you-can-totally-hear-I’m-smiling-even-down-the-phone snort that meant she was totally into h
im.
“NAUGHTY MINX FIEND!!! You should have said!!!”
“NOTHING’S HAPPENED!” She laughed. “Promise.”
I knew there was a “but” coming.
“Buuut – something has happened … with you…”
What. WHAT?! I sat upright. Then lay back down. Too much braining for this early/10:56 a.m. “Well, technically between TMH and your mum…”
Nope. Rach and I had discussed the shortlist of people we’d allow to become my stepfather, and Fit Boys Our Age were very much NOT on it.
“Rach, stop being so weird?! Explain thyself!!”
She took a deep breath. “Well I may have kind of been chatting to him last night… And then this morning.” KNEW IT! She was totally into him. Name me a more iconic duo. I’ll wait. “Anyway, not the point. The point is there’s a reeeeason he works in Tesco.”
“Tell me it’s to earn money? Or are you about to inform me it’s the world’s weirdest hobby?”
“No, Bells.” She spoke slowly, “His. Dad. Is. The. Manager.”
Sorry, nope. Still nothing.
“And when TMH told him about last night, he said he wanted to chat to your mum?!” She’d given up not shouting. “ABOUT STOCKING GIVE A DOG A CONE IN THEIR LOCAL PRODUCE SECTION!!!!”
Oh.
My.
Holy Mozzarella balls.
Who knew inviting good-looking people you hardly knew to totally random evening events could have such amazing results?! This must be what Shay always meant by “networking”.
“RACH THAT IS AMAZING! YOU ARE AMAZING!!”
“And you are most welcome! I’ll send you his dad’s number now!”
I took a second for the news to sink in, then asked if I could go and tell Mum the good news. Rach put the phone down on me while yelling bye.
I ran down the stairs so fast I accidentally sock-skiied the last three.
But Mum had popped to the shops, and Jo was quietly flicking through the Saturday papers. Not exactly the scene I wanted for Best News Of the Year.
“Notice anything?” Jo sipped on her tea.
“You never make me tea?”
“I dispute that. There was that time when …” She thought back. “… you were eleven.”
Fine, I’d make my own, but when I sat back down, Jo kept casting her eyes into the hall.
Was something going on? Was it a hint? I couldn’t spot anything?!
Except…
“BENNY’S BACK!”
There he was, being all cardboard and creepy again at the bottom of our stairs. Just the way I hate-liked it.
“Exacto.” Jo sounded pleased, like I’d solved an episode of Sherlock. She turned her newspaper page over extra slowly, as if this was a very important moment. But I had no idea what the moment was about. Until Shay walked in, saw us, and darted back out.
“Ahhh, Shay.” Jo closed her paper. “Nice of you to join us.” I hadn’t seen her since outside GADAC yesterday – not that she knew I’d spotted her.
Shay yelled back from the hallway. “Just on my way out.”
But Jo waggled something in the air. Shay’s car keys. Shay ran back in, rummaging round the work surfaces. “Hey, have you seen my keys?” She didn’t even look at me. “I swear I left them here.”
Jo gave them a jangle. Shay spun round, and went to grab them, but Jo snatched them away.
“Jo, I haven’t got time for this. I’m going to be late for work.”
Jo just pushed out a chair with her foot, as if Shay should sit down.
“Important meeting, is it?”
Shay glowered at her. “Something like that.”
Well this was weird.
“Maybe you’ve got time to have a quick chat about why you weren’t there last night?”
Shay pushed the chair back in. “I was busy. Like I told Bella.” Hmmm, not quite true. Luckily I’d forgotten to tell Jo I’d seen her arrive and disappear, cos she was already being weird enough. “Anyway, I really haven’t got time for this … whatever this is.”
I slurped my tea like I was watching something I didn’t quite understand on TV, rather than thirty centimetres away in my kitchen.
Jo lent back and smiled. “Lis says hi, by the way.”
Shay put her hand out for the keys. “Cool. I’ll text her later.”
But Jo shoved them into her pocket. Was I being caught up in a low-level hostage situation?! I did not want to be in police photos wearing pyjamas?!
“Maybe you could send her this…” Jo put her phone on the table. “It’s amazing what you can find on the internet when you know what to look for.”
It was another picture of Lis and Shay – like the one she’d shown me way back. A selfie of them lying on the floor, but in this one Lis looked a bit more awkward while Shay was grinning so cheesily I almost didn’t recognize her.
Shay clicked the home button making the picture disappear. “I’m out of here.”
Jo stood up. “Not until you tell Bella the truth.”
Truth about what? “C’mon Jo, do NOT bring me into this.” I knew they hated each other, but I’d tried hard not to take sides.
They both ignored me. Standard.
“Shay – tell Bells how you really know Lis.” She crossed her arms. “Or I will.”
Shay narrowed her eyes. “You’ve always had SUCH a problem with me.”
Jo just blinked calmly. “Tell her.”
“Why can’t you just keep your nose out of other people’s business?”
“Tell. Her.”
Could I creep away? Probably, they’d seemed to have forgotten I was here.
“You seriously think this is a good idea?” Shay had raised her voice.
“TELL HER.” Jo raised hers even louder.
Shay slammed her hand down on the table so hard, my tea bounced into the air. “FIIIIINNNNEEEE.”
Then the weirdest thing yet happened.
Shay took a step back, and for the first time since I knew her, her whole body language drooped.
“Bella…” she looked around the room, anywhere but at me. “As your sister is so desperate for you to find out, I know Lis from, er…” I had no idea where this was going. “From … working together.”
Oh? I already knew this. But Jo was shaking her head. “And by working together, you mean…”
“Yes, Jo,” Shay hissed. “I’m getting there.” This time Shay looked at me. “By working, I mean my job.”
Again, old news.
“Working in …”
But I knew. TV.
“… carpet fitting.”
Sorry, what?!
“I’m a carpet fitter.”
I put my tea down. “A high-level TV-producing carpet fitter?”
Shay shook her head. “A normal carpet fitter.”
But Jo wasn’t done. “And where did you get these pics from?”
Shay shrugged. “From a shoot we did when we re-carpeted their record company’s floor…”
Thank goodness I was sitting down so it didn’t matter if my legs buckled. But Shay hadn’t finished.
“We gave them a discount in return for promo shots for our website.”
Jo muttered, “Yup. Wefitanycarpet.com.”
“And full disclosure … cos why not.” Shay sighed. “I’m up here cos we’re redoing the Midlands TV office.”
I was almost speechless. But not quite. “So the high-pressure industry you’re always talking about…”
Shay nodded. “Is the carpet-fitting industry.” She picked her bag back up. “You happy now, Jo?” She looked furious. My sister was loving it.
“Almost. One last thing. Last night Lis told me that she’d never met a Shay.”
“Yeah, yeah. You know why.” Shay paused. “Cos my real name’s Sheila. Not that she’d even remember me…”
This was all too much. So Shay wasn’t friends with the band after all?!
I didn’t get it. We’d spent so many evenings chatting about her work, her life, and it was on
e big lie?
“But why, Shay? Sheila… Whatever. I don’t understand?”
Shay shrugged. “You don’t need to make a big deal out of it. I just thought it sounded good.” She swiped the keys off the table. “No harm done. And I certainly don’t need a lecture from either of you about it.”
And with that, she stormed out.
Jo took another overly loud sip of tea, knowing full well I was doing my accidental goldfish impression at her. “So, all this time…?”
“Yup. All made up.”
I let the last few months flick by. The fake stories. The humblebrags. Making out she was bessies with the band. No wonder she didn’t come to Radio Shire. I bet she never even meant to. And of course she didn’t give me their details – she never had them!
But that also meant she couldn’t have messaged them to help me stay in the final after all!? I had done it myself. And all of this while making us feel like we were in the presence of greatness. In the presence of a media genius. Not a shag-pile expert. I’d have to break it to Rach gently.
“How did you find out?”
Jo rocked back on her chair. “Accident, really. Was making small talk with Lis, telling her we’d had a lodger she might know, but her name didn’t ring any bells. So I showed her that pic of them I had on my phone from when you sent it … when Lis remembered who she really was I thought I’d better check before I said anything.”
No wonder Shay had run off when she’d seen the band in the shop.
Jo looked a bit sad. “I mean, I totally don’t care what job anyone does – I work with slugs for heaven’s sake – but just don’t lie about it.”
I couldn’t agree more.
“I get paid to dress up as a dog – and as a bone in my spare time.”
“Yeah, but you’re incredibly uncool, so that doesn’t count.”
I couldn’t be bothered to think of a comeback – I was too busy thinking of all the times I’d hung off Shay’s every word about “the industry” and how Rach had spent hours thinking up “insider” questions, and we’d all tried so hard to impress her, when all along she was making up a fake life to try and impress us, the least impressive people ever. Who probs would have thought Sheila the carpet fitter was way more fun. I made no sense.
