He's running his finger over the frame of a picture of Piper and I that was taken the first time we went away to camp together. He holds it out to set it back down just as I walk up.
"I missed this picture the other day. I would've known it was you if I would've seen this." He's looking down at the rest of them. The look on his face is pure torturous sadness. I know Piper has talked about her brother feeling guilty for what happened to her family so many years ago, but this intensity is harsh. I feel awkward watching him look at our pictures. It's like I'm interrupting his stroll down memory lane.
"This one was when she was thirteen. My dad's new wife sent me extra money that month so they wouldn't have to shop for my birthday. Piper and I had one of the best days that day." He takes the frame into his hand as I keep talking.
"It was well worth the trouble we got into for sneaking out of the dorm early that morning. We both said one day we'd be able to do what we want, when we want." He sits it down beside the other.
"That one. Look how bad those school uniforms were. I can't even believe I was forced to wear that shit." His smile finally breaks through.
"This looks recent." He's pointing to the collage Piper had made. She insisted on a current selfie to take up the center spot around the smaller ones from years past.
"That was the first night I stayed here a few weeks ago." He continues to study them. I know I can never help him fill that gap in everything he missed out on, but I have an idea of what it's like to dislike your past and wish there was a way to go back and do a few things differently. Maybe that's something we can work on together. If he wants to talk about things that I remember, I should be able to ask him stuff about his past at the same time.
"I'm going to get my things together." Piper walks into the room with her hands full of laundry just as I step away from him.
"I'll hurry." She drops the clothes on the bar, letting a few of them fall to the ground.
"Tori. We're gonna get through this. I'm so sorry this happened tonight." Her arms squeeze me tighter as she continues to talk.
"They will pay for what they did to your mom. Just please don't bottle it all up. I need you to talk to me." I hold back the tears knowing once they start, they may never stop. That's something I learned many years ago.
"We'll get through it all together." She releases her hold and grips both of my arms as she continues. "Or we'll die trying."
"I know." What did I do to deserve her? She's truly been my rock over the years. She's the sister I never had and I would never trade her for anyone.
"Hurry your ass up so we can get out of here. Shhhh. Don't tell my brother, but I'm kind of looking forward to spending a little time with his friends. He'll get pissed off, but I think it'll be fun getting to know them some." I laugh at her. She's always looking for a way to make a tough situation fun. Hell, with a house full of those guys, it's bound to be insane with her doing what she does best.
"You two can make out later. Let's get the fuck out of here. I need to get back." Blade's sharp tone startles me as he walks up behind us.
"Jesus, Blade. Why the fuck are you yelling at us? You scared the shit out of me."
"Get used to it. You'll be dealing with my ass until I think it's safe, so get what you need because we're leaving now." I start walking to my bedroom and rush around the room to grab the few things I'll need. I'm not really too worried about it because I can always come back to get anything I've missed. I toss it all into a backpack and step out into the dining area again. I'd give anything for that shower now, but I know that's pushing it.
"Okay. I think I have everything." Blade doesn't wait for another word from me before he's opened the door, standing there looking at us both with an urgency on his face.
"Blade. What are you not telling us? Why are you acting like this?" Piper stops in front of him in a demanding way before I step out behind them both.
"I just need to get back."
"You really need to chill out some. You're gonna die at a young age with all the intensity you carry around constantly." Piper rambles as she walks down the hall. "I mean, shit. If I didn't know better, I'd think you need a good fuck, but I know my girl has you covered in that department."
His eyes lift to mine when she says that, but his face doesn't give a single clue of how he took it. I have no idea if he's pissed at me for telling her, but I might strangle her when we're by ourselves for that little stunt.
We both turn to walk at the same time, not acknowledging Piper's comment in any way whatsoever.
The drive back to the clubhouse is filled with Piper asking him questions about the members. Blade doesn't give her much information, only replying with the simplest of answers when he has to. I can already tell she is going to drive his overbearing ass insane with her constant desire to live for the moment. It's what I love most about her, but in this instance, she's going to test the ever living shit out of this man. It should be fun to watch.
"I'd like to shower as soon as we get back." Blade looks at me through the rear view mirror, continuing to watch me with those blue eyes that I only noticed when I met him at Turbulence. It's not a feature I remembered from all those years ago. It was dark and what six year old remembers details like that?
He finally nods with a lift of his head as he rubs his hand over his chin, listening to Piper some more. Switch hasn't said a word back here in the back seat of the truck with me. He's a quiet one. I let my eyes wander over to him as the street lights pass, trying to catch a better glimpse of his features. I can't make out the tattoos on his arms, but can tell he's covered. The heated feeling of being watched has me turning to look out the window until we get there. I think he just caught me looking at him; either that or Blade did.
Blade pulls the truck into his large garage. The one I'm very familiar with from the other night. Piper and Switch step out of the truck as soon as he kills the engine. Blade moves so that our eyes meet again in the mirror. Watching his eyes like this is so raw and real. He's pulling me toward him and I'm not even sure I want to fight it. His deep voice grumbles through the cab.
"You can use my shower upstairs and then it's time we talk. I want you to tell me everything." Nodding, I reach for the door handle and make my way into the clubhouse. He follows me inside and motions toward the stairs for me take to his room.
I don't hear his footsteps following, so I know I'm alone as I enter the only door to the top floor of the clubhouse. It's huge and so different than downstairs. I didn't get to see this part of the house when Piper had me in here last night.
If his bedroom tells me anything, it's that he's a perfectionist. Everything is in its place and the bed is even made. Hell, I don't even make my bed every day. I sit my bag on his bed and begin to walk around the giant space slowly, trying to get to know a man I feel like I've known my whole life.
Chapter Twelve
Blade
This shit is going to get tricky. I need to spend time talking to Tori without anyone else, but I need my sister to stay the fuck away from my guys. Right now Switch and Trap are the only guys in the house, but that shit always changes as the guys tend to roll in here late at night. How the fuck am I going to manage this one?
I motion for Switch to meet me outside and he follows my lead instantly. "Piper, Tori took the upstairs shower if you want to grab one in the back bedroom. The room isn't finished yet, but the bathroom is ready." It's one of those renovations I need to rush now. I can make that my room and give the girls the upstairs floor if we have to make this a long term thing. It won’t take long for the crew to finish it up, they were just waiting on me to make the final decisions on color and shit I don't have time for. Hell, that's something I'll make the girls do.
"You have the place to yourself right now, but the guys will start rolling in before long." Pulling the door closed, I stand before Trap and Switch outside, already pulling out a cigarette to light.
"I need some time with Tori tonight. She has some shit from her past tha
t is possibly a reason that this shit happened tonight. I need to know what she knows and she's not going to talk with all of us around. And I love my fucking sister, but she won’t let Tori talk, or should I say, Tori doesn't seem to be talking around Piper. Piper has told us what she knows, but it's not enough to get any real details of what we're looking for. I'm hoping Tori can give me something."
"You gonna share what you know so far with us?" Switch looks at me with a curious look.
"I will in the morning. Call church in the chapel with the officers first thing. Maybe by then Beast will have something, or fuck.... maybe we'll be able to rub two god damned sticks together to get one fucking clue of who I get to kill."
"Which two of our guys went down tonight?" Trap hasn't been in on the loop, so I let Switch tell him as my mind starts to think about every detail. There were too many guys there for this to simply be an attack on Tori. What do they want with her and how does she remember more men that night? I'm starting to blame myself for not taking care of it all back then, but I had no idea and it's not like she was talking at the age of six. Hell, I'm not even sure she said one word to me that night.
I've always felt like I've had different stages of my life. The life where I fought to keep my sister safe, the night that I replay often for many reasons, and now my role here at the club. Tonight, every bit of that collided and now I'm twisted the fuck up combining it all.
"I’m going to see if Tori is ready to talk before Beast gets back. Keep my sister out of trouble until I'm done, if ya don't mind." I leave the two of them once Switch nods. I know I need to talk to him about her soon, but I know shit is safe for the time being. Switch is a ride ‘til the death kind of guy. He won't let pussy get in the way of what he has with the club and he knows how I feel on the topic. But I also know my sister can be very persuasive and a major pain in the ass when she wants something, which is why that conversation will need to happen.
I slide the door open at the top of the stairs and try to listen for the sound of water. I don't hear anything so I walk to the door of the bedroom. Knocking just slightly opens the door enough for me to see her. She's sitting in my chair with her legs tucked into her chest. God damnit, I shouldn't have left her alone, even though it's only been a few minutes since she walked up here. I know better than anyone that a few minutes can be like an eternity and that much time in her thoughts has probably been hell after the shit that went on tonight.
I step in and slowly close the door behind me. I want to approach her in a way that she’ll talk to me, but not be too demanding of information. I'm hoping she’ll just start spilling what she knows and this will be an easy flowing conversation, but very few things have been easy in my life. She's still wearing the same clothes and her hair is dry, so I can only assume that she hasn't showered yet.
"You saved my life back then you know." She lifts her head to look at me as I get close to the bed. "Just like you did again tonight."
"I'll do it again tomorrow if that's what needs to happen to keep you safe." She drops her feet to the floor and stands to face me. I'm standing before her looking for signs of where she's at mentally and I'm not seeing anything that's alarming me. That's fuckin good. I'm not that good at all this consoling shit.
"I've dreamt about you for years. You always manage to get the bad guys."
"I’ll get these too."
"I hope so."
"I know so. It's what I do."
"What exactly is it that you do?"
"I do a lot of things." She turns away from me, walking across the room to look out the window. She stands still while I decide what to tell her if she presses for more information. I did uproot her from her fucking house and force her to move in with me, so she has a right to ask a few questions. That doesn't mean I'll answer. What the fuck am I supposed to say? That I kill people. That I fucking torture assholes that deserve to die. That I do what the fuck I want and practically make up my own laws. That I'm not beneath smuggling drugs and weapons to make the money my club needs. That I've fucked more women than I can even count, not a single one of them meaning a fucking thing to me. What exactly should I fucking tell her?
"You know if you want me to talk to you and tell you my life story, I only think it's fair that you share some of yours." Her words are soft, almost unsure of what my reaction will be. I don't blame her.
"Fair enough. But there is not much to tell. I need to know what you remember first so I have a chance of finding those fuckers." She doesn't turn to face me, but continues to look out the window. I can see the look of her tormented face through the reflection and fight the urge to walk over and wrap my arms around her.
"We were at the grocery store." She looks down and pauses, taking a deep breath before she begins.
"Mom was so happy because Dad would finally be home for dinner. We were going to make him his favorite that night. We started to put the grocery bags in the back of the car when a black SUV pulled up and grabbed us. I remember seeing five of them; most of them were young, I would say early twenties. They shoved our faces into the floorboard and drove us to some industrial looking building. I remember looking around, hoping to see someone and the only people I could see were the people I wanted to get away from. There were more guys there when we arrived." She swipes her finger across her cheek, trying to wipe the tears that begin to fall. I keep my distance, hoping she will continue.
"They started being horrible to Mom and she begged for them to let me go first. She told them she’d do anything they wanted if they'd just let me go." She turns to sit on the floor against the wall, tucking herself up again.
"They took me to a little room and locked the door. I could hear her screaming the whole time and her cries still haunt me to this day. Finally, one of the guys unlocked the door and told me they were going to take me home to my dad. I heard him tell one of the other guys to make sure I made it safe and that they were going to use me the next time." I move closer, sitting beside her against the wall and wait patiently as she finishes her story.
"He didn't take me home to my dad." She swallows hard. "He took me to the alley you found me in."
"What exactly did he do to you?"
"He was just getting started when you got there." She begins to tremble. Her breaths come as sharp inhales and slow exhales.
"He said he hoped I tasted like my mom. I remember not knowing what that meant." She begins to shake uncontrollably and I can't take another second of it so I pull her against my chest and hold her tight. The fucking rage inside me is scratching to get out and be released on some mother fuckers. Trying to tone that shit down is hard as I feel her physically and emotionally breaking.
"He put his dick in my mouth. I was so confused. He kept shoving it into my face. I kept fighting him until you arrived." I clench my fist at her back. I'm so fucking glad I had no mercy on that mother fucker that night. I'd kill him all over again if given the chance.
"I wanted him to die. I hated him. Then you came along and made it happen." My heart is pounding in my chest as I think about the look on her face so many years ago. I knew he would've killed her that night if I hadn't shown up. I had just hoped he didn't succeed in killing her inside before I saved her.
"My mom never came home. Everything became chaotic after the press started unraveling everything and I spent weeks in counseling after spending weeks with investigators trying to remember the details about who took my mom."
"Did they ever find her?"
"They found her remains when I was eight."
"Did they ever find the other guys?"
"No."
Her reply sounds so definite and final. My heart is hurting with a murderous desire to find the people who did this.
"What was your mom's name?"
"Annie Douglas." The name Douglas strikes a memory with me. I remember my grandmother saying it that night helping me find where to take her.
"So you see, you were the only good thing to happen that night. Meeting you changed my fate."
She sits up and looks down at her hands, sliding her fingers between each other.
"So now that I've told you what happened that night, you need to tell me what brought you to that alley so many years ago."
Chapter Thirteen
Six
I can see everything flashing through my memory as I tell Blade everything that happened that night. I've never talked about it as an adult with anyone except Piper. It's just too hard, plus I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me. Yeah it was tragic and I lost my mom that night, but dwelling on it won't bring her back; believe me, I tried that for years.
I wait on him to share part of his life with me. It's only fair. From one private person to another still doesn't make it any easier. I just have a feeling his secrets go so much deeper than mine, I guess that's why I feel safe telling him everything.
I silently wait and listen to his breathing quicken as he struggles to find the words. He shifts onto his knees to lift the window before sitting back down and lighting a cigarette. He inhales slowly before exhaling, blowing it toward the open window.
"Shit. I don't ever talk about my past because that's what it is. It’s the past." He's closed off. I bet he doesn't tell anyone everything. I guarantee he doesn't have a person. It makes me appreciate Piper even more. I start to move to get up and finally take my shower, but his words stop me.
"That was the last night I saw Piper. She was screaming for me to help her, but I had no control of what was happening and everything I tried didn't work. They wouldn't let me have my little sister because I was too young myself." He takes a draw from his cigarette again not talking as he does, visibly appreciating it as he waits to begin again.
"I’d just been released from jail because I had beaten the shit out of my dad." I slide my hand over his on the ground beside us while we both sit in the silence for a few more minutes before he speaks again. He's struggling with words and I completely get it.
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