She hadn’t been fair to him, she thought ruefully. “What, you think you’re the only one who gets me angry?” She shook her head. “Money isn’t the only thing my father willed to me. He gave me his temper, too.” She sighed, looking over her shoulder toward where Kimberly and Harrison had stood. They were gone now. Good. “My father never could stomach a snob.”
John pressed her hand to his chest, covering it. He liked the feel of her heart near his. This was getting dangerous, he realized.
“Then why do you invite them to your parties?”
She gave him an honest answer. “They have money— I have a pet charity. They like to look important, so they write huge checks.” Her gaze took in half the floor. There were a lot of good people here. There was no reason to lump them in with the likes of Kimberly and Harrison just because they had money. “Besides, not everyone’s like that. A lot of them are pretty nice.”
He nodded. “Like Mandy.”
It wasn’t a question. He was telling her. “Like Mandy.” She raised her head to look at him. “Do you?” Courtney asked, then, when he didn’t answer, added, “Like Mandy?”
He didn’t have to think about his answer. “Yes, I do. She seems pretty nice. And she tipped me off about your birthday.” That was something only a friend would do, John thought “I think she expected me to get you something.”
Then he had gotten the gift out of a sense of obligation. Suddenly she could feel the outline of the chain as it rested against her throat; It felt heavier. “You didn’t have to.”
He thought they’d settled that. “You want me to tell you that I wanted to? All right, I wanted to.” He avoided her eyes as he made the admission.
“Why?” She hadn’t exactly been the model of friendliness toward him.
He laughed shortly, moving her slowly in time to the music. He saw the envy in men’s eyes as they looked in his direction. It made no difference to him. Envy wasn’t something that affected him one way or the other.
“Boy, you don’t ask for much, do you? How much of my guts do you want me to spill out?”
The question had her smiling in response. “I’ll let you know.”
No, he’d told her as much as he. was going to. “Not tonight, Ms. Tamberlaine.”
She caught her lower lip between her teeth, then asked, “Say it again.”
“Tamberlaine.” Why would she want to hear that?
“No, my first name. Say my first name.”
“Why, did you forget it?” His smile was soft, sexy. “Courtney,” he repeated.
“Thank you.” Leaning her cheek against his chest, Courtney closed her eyes and let the music take her away.
Maybe turning thirty wasn’t so bad, after all.
Chapter Ten
“Were there lots of pretty people at the party?” Katie looked from one side of the dining room table to the other, waiting for an answer.
Courtney took another sip of her black coffee. The caffeine was taking an inordinately long time to kick in. But then, maybe at seven-thirty, it was half-asleep, too. She’d felt more wide-awake at seven when her eyes had suddenly flown open. She wasn’t sure just what had woken her up, but the second her eyes were open, her thoughts had immediately focused on last night. On John. Once she began thinking of the way his body had felt against hers when they’d danced, she became far too restless to remain in bed.
It had been worth getting up at this ungodly hour just to see the look of surprise on John’s face when he came downstairs and found her already in the dining room.
“Lots of pretty people, pumpkin,” she answered.
Katie was doing justice to the big breakfast in front of her. She obviously got her appetite from her father, who was on his second serving of pancakes. Courtney’s stomach tightened at the mere thought of food. For as long as she could remember, she’d never been able to face anything solid until at least noon.
“Depends on your definition of pretty,” John murmured, more to himself than to his daughter.
Katie didn’t seem to hear him. She was completely focused on what Courtney was saying. Swallowing what was in her mouth, she enthused, “Ohh, I wish I could’ve been there.”
She sounded like Cinderella, wishing she could have attended the ball. Courtney could remember a time when she had thought of the people at her father’s parties in the same light.
Now she was a little more realistic.
But if Cinderella wanted a peek into the ballroom, Cinderella was going to get a peek. “Maybe next time I’ll let you stay up for a little while and you can see for yourself,” Courtney promised.
Katie looked as if she was in heaven.
The expression on John’s face brought a different location to mind. Obviously, he thought she was usurping his authority. After last night, Courtney had thought that they were past this stage.
Progress, it seemed, was a slow thing.
Katie turned her bright eyes on her father. “Can I, Daddy? Can I? Can I stay up and see everyone next time?”
With any luck, the “next time” would be far in the future. He certainly didn’t want Katie losing sleep just to see a room full of people who didn’t have anything better to do than throw money away on overpriced clothing.
He gave Katie his usual noncommittal, “We’ll see.” The vague response didn’t seem to dampen her spirits, but it did grate on Courtney’s nerves.
There was love in Katie’s eyes as she looked at Courtney. Love in the purest state possible. Forgetting about being annoyed at John, Courtney gave Katie her full attention. She was at a loss as to how she merited being the recipient of something so precious.
As John looked at his daughter’s beaming face, he was sincerely doubting the wisdom of his actions. He should have never brought Katie here.
“I bet Mommy was the prettiest one there. Wasn’t she, Daddy?”
John pushed his plate aside. He raised his eyes to Courtney’s face, remembering the way she had looked on the terrace, the moonlight shining along her skin. It was enough to make a man’s mouth water.
He’d never lied to Katie. He wasn’t going to start now. “Yes, she was.”
His tone was low, as if it were coming from somewhere deep within him. It unsettled Courtney. If she didn’t know better, she would have thought John was actually paying her a compliment instead of just humoring his daughter.
She took a deep breath to steady the quiver in the pit of her stomach, then raised her cup to her lips to hide her pleased smile. But her eyes gave her away. “Thank you.”
Katie suddenly twisted around in her chair, her entire body animated as she faced her father. “Can Mommy come with us?”
The request disappointed him. He’d wanted Katie to himself today. For the past two weeks, they had been on the estate. Though it was large, there was always some lingering reminder of Courtney to haunt him no matter where he went. And then, like as not, there was the lady herself to deal with. Today it was just supposed to be the two of them. He’d expected to be gone by the time Courtney was up. After last night, he felt certain she was going to sleep in past noon.
The woman never did what was expected of her.
John moved aside as the maid, Angela, came out of the kitchen to clear away his plate. Having someone else wait on him always made him uncomfortable. It was something he was never going to get used to.
Looking at Katie, he hedged. “Well, I don’t know. Courtney—Mommy,” he corrected himself for Katie’s benefit, “probably has other plans.” At least he fervently hoped so.
What were they up to? Courtney wondered. She’d promised to get together with Mandy today, but Mandy was flexible, especially since she was currently between men now that Louis and his private jet had been unceremoniously dumped. They could reschedule. And this was far more promising.
Courtney leaned her head on her upturned palm, looking straight into Katie’s eyes. John’s were too dark for her to risk just yet. “Actually, I don’t have plans. Where are you going?”
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“To the‘musement park.” She leaned her chin on her palm, mimicking Courtney to a T. “Disneyland.” She said the name as if it was synonymous with heaven.
“Today?” Courtney raised her brow toward John. This was the first she’d heard about it.
“Today,” John echoed quickly. “So if you’re busy, we understand—”
“No, I’m not. Really,” she insisted. Why did he refuse to believe her? Or was it that he was just subtly refusing to let her come along? “When did you plan this?”
He shrugged her question off. “It’s just a last-minute thing.”
It wasn’t Katie he was lying to, he told himself. It was Courtney. He’d made the decision to take Katie to the amusement park at the beginning of the week. Right after he’d gotten off the telephone with her cardiologist. Dr. Benjamin had told him that there was a spot open at the end of the month for Katie’s surgery. The doctor wanted the go-ahead in order to put together the necessary surgical teams and reserve an operating room for that day. The surgery promised to be a long one.
After less than a moment’s soul-searching, John had given his okay.
The pieces were all coming together and he was scared as hell. He wanted to give Katie as good a time as he could before she had to go in to face the bypasssurgery.
It wasn’t that he wouldn’t get another opportunity, he insisted fiercely. It was just that it would take Katie a while to bounce back from the surgery. And then there would be school to face. He’d learned a long time ago not to put things off. This just fell under that heading, that’s all.
He was lying to her, Courtney thought. She didn’t know why, but he was. She could see it in his eyes.
Why would he lie about something so insignificant as planning a trip to Disneyland with his daughter?
She was beginning to think she was never going to understand him. But then, she didn’t have to. He’d be gone out of her life soon enough. And besides, all that really mattered right now was the little girl sitting opposite her.
Courtney covered Katie’s hand with her own. “Well, I’m glad you asked me because I would love nothing better than to come along.”
Why? Why would a woman who could be anywhere in the world she chose to be want to spend her day at an amusement park with a little girl and her father? It didn’t make any sense to him. She’d be bored to tears inside of thirty minutes. Less.
“The park opens at nine today,” he told Courtney, hoping for one last way out “I’d like to be there when it opens. The lines are shorter then and Katie’ll have a chance to go on more of the rides.”
Courtney was already on her feet She glanced at her watch. It was only a few minutes past eight Barring a traffic jam, they were only thirty minutes away from the Magic Kingdom. “Just give me ten minutes to get ready.”
Famous last words, John thought as he watched her leave. He’d give her the ten minutes, no more. After that, he was gone. He and Katie had better things to do than cool their heels while Courtney tried to find an outfit that pleased her.
She didn’t take ten minutes. She took nine, completely surprising him. He was sitting on the bottom step when she came flying down the stairs in sandals, shorts and a halter top. Her bare leg brushed against his arm, sending currents through both of them that had nothing to do with the warm day that was beginning to unfold outside.
Rising to his feet, he saw that her skin glowed with suntan lotion and enthusiasm. She was breathless—and breathtakingly simple. With her hair pulled back from her face in an ordinary ponytail, she almost looked like a teenager. And very much the way he envisioned Katie would look when she reached her teens.
“No makeup,” John noted out loud before he thought better of it.
She smiled. “Mickey doesn’t like it.” Courtney took Katie’s hand. “See, I said I’d be ready in ten minutes.”
He had to give her her due. “You made it with a minute to spare.”
There was triumph and laughter in her eyes. It was an appealing combination. “I knew you were timing me.And that you wouldn’t wait.”
Katie shook her head. She didn’t even have to look at her father to back her up. “We’d always wait for you, Mommy.”
Yeah, right, Courtney thought, glancing at John. At breakfast he’d looked as if he couldn’t wait to get away from her. She grinned, ruffling Katie’s hair. “Thanks, pumpkin. Okay, Disneyland, here we come.”
Katie cheered as they walked out.
“You know,” Courtney mused out loud as she plucked at the cotton candy cone in her hand. A tuft of pink spun sugar came off in her fingers. “This was my very favorite place in the world as a kid. My dad used to bring me here all the time.” She popped the tuft into her mouth and smiled as it melted away on her tongue.
Sitting beside her on the bench, John helped himself to some of Courtney’s cotton candy. He hadn’t wanted a cone of his own, but she made it look so appealing, he couldn’t resist sampling a taste. “I’m surprised he didn’t buy it for you.”
If there was a touch of sarcasm in his voice, she chose to overlook it. John had bought himself a lot of grace with that gift of his, she thought fondly. Besides, she was feeling very magnanimous this afternoon. And very, very good.
“He rented it for me once,” she admitted. Another piece of the pink cloud disappeared on her tongue. She offered some of the remainder to John. Katie had her own cone and had made short work of it. “For my tenth birthday.”
Katie looked at her as if she had suddenly become magical. It was clear that she was imagining having her own birthday party at Disneyland. “Did they all come? Mickey and Donald and Cinderella?”
Courtney nodded. “All of them.” Along with a whole crowd of her friends, as well as her father’s friends and their children. She’d felt like a princess in a fairy tale that day. Suddenly, Courtney wanted very much to give Katie that same special feeling. “Would you like that, pumpkin? Would you like to have a birthday party here?”
It was just too wonderful to think about. “Instead of the ponies?”
Courtney laughed. It was obvious that ponies meant a lot to Katie. “With the ponies. We’ll find a way to get them all tickets, too, if you like.”
This was getting way out of hand, John thought. And they were all just empty promises. People in the world Courtney came from had a habit of forgetting promises. He knew that firsthand and he didn’t want Katie disappointed.
“We’ll talk about it later, Katie. Right now, why don’t you just enjoy the day?”
Gabriel was doing it again, Courtney thought, annoyed. Popping all the balloons. Why was he always so bent on dampening Katie’s enthusiasm? He seemed to be against everything. The puppy, the promise of a party, the—
Courtney looked at him, stunned. Suddenly, the answer was crystal clear to her.
She was staring at him as if she’d just discovered he was a mass murderer. “What?”
She didn’t answer him right away. “Katie, would you be a sweetheart and get me a soda?” Courtney pointed to the man standing behind the soft-drink cart. It was less than five feet away from the bench they were sitting on. “I’m very thirsty.” She took out a five-dollar bill from her pocket and handed it to Katie.
John rose. He didn’t want Katie running around by herself. “I’ll get it.”
Courtney placed her hand on his arm. It was a deceptively small hand with a firm grip. “No, I think it’ll taste better if Katie gets it for me. She’s a big girl now.” She looked at her. “Aren’t you, pumpkin?”
Katie seemed to grow an inch before their eyes as she raised her little chin importantly. “Yes, I am.”
The bill clutched in her hand, Katie ran off to buy the soda for Courtney before her father could tell her not to.
Only when she thought that Katie was out of earshot did Courtney turn to him. “It’s me, isn’t it?”
He spared her a sharp glance before turning to watch his daughter. Maybe he was being a little overprotective, but it came with the
territory. A direct result of almost losing her twice.
“What are you talking about?” he asked curtly. She had no business stirring Katie up like this.
“Every time I try to do something nice for Katie, you always try to negate it.”
He still didn’t have any idea what she was driving at. “That’s ridiculous.”
He wasn’t very convincing. “Is it? I gave her the puppy…you told me you wished I hadn’t. You keep telling her not to run around with him. I offer to throw her a party…you tell her ‘we‘ll see’ instead of getting high on the happiness shining in her eyes. I tell her she can stay up for our next party…you’re there, saying no with every fiber of your being. Every time I try to do something, you don’t want her to have any part of it.
“John, I’m not trying to take her away from you. I just want her to be happy.”
His eyes were dark and dangerous as he looked into hers. “So do I.”
She knew that, but she also knew he was doing it all wrong. He was clipping Katie’s wings instead of letting her learn how to fly. That couldn’t be good. For either of them. “So let her live a little.”
“I am.” The retort came out a little more fiercely than he’d intended, but she didn’t know what she was talking about “That’s exactly what I am doing.”
Again, Courtney had the eerie sense of something being kept from her. Something important Damn it, why didn’t he tell her instead of playing these secretive games?
“There’s something you’re not telling me, isn’t there?”
John opened his mouth, then shut it again. He wasn’t going to allow a moment of weakness to lead him. He’d come this far alone and he intended to make it the rest of the way.
“There are a lot of things I’m not telling you.” He looked at her significantly. “Mainly because I’m too polite. But for the record, it’s not you I’m reacting to. At least, not when it comes to things concerning Katie.”
She could feel that wave again, the warm one that wrapped itself around her tightly. “And when it comes to other things?”
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