by Candis Terry
“Guess I’m just not much in the mood.”
“Seriously?” Her eyes narrowed a bit more, yet somehow a shower of silver sparks still managed to flash. “Why?”
He hated to use the word Duh, but it seemed so apropos.
“So . . .” Her shoulders lifted and dropped. “What? You’re going to let that walking cane snuff out the eternally grinning smart-ass that lives inside you?”
Her comment hit its mark with stinging success.
Jake clenched his teeth and lowered his gaze to the laminated menu he’d been able to recite by heart since he’d been twelve. “Annabelle, how about you go away and give me a minute to look over the menu?”
“Because that would be a total waste of time, Jacob.”
His gaze jerked up again just as she shifted her weight to a position she probably intended as a show of obstinacy. Yet all it really managed to do was push her full breasts against that snug white Bud’s Diner T-shirt. Instinctively, his gaze dropped lower to the little black skirt hugging nicely rounded hips and the pair of tanned, shapely legs that ended with the sparkly blue sneakers on her feet. Liking what he saw, his gaze took that same slow ride back up her body.
When the hell had little Annie Morgan grown up and gotten so curvy?
“You can stare at that menu all day long,” she said through lips that were pink, plump, and glossy. Lips that looked like they needed to be kissed.
The unexpected and unwanted thought was like a splash of ice water in his face. Annie had been a pain in his backside for as long as he could remember. The last thing he should be doing was thinking about her damned mouth. Or her curvy body. To his dismay and against his commands, awareness tightened his body below the belt.
“In the end,” Annie continued, “you’re going to choose a double Diablo burger with extra peppers, a side of sweet-potato fries—extra crispy, and a chocolate-banana shake.”
Challenged, he leaned forward and met her glare. “How do you know what I want?”
“Because.” She planted her palm down on the table and leaned in till they were nearly nose to nose. “While you and your football buddies parked your cocky behinds in the booth by the door so all your minions could see you and come in to fawn all over you, some of us were slinging hash and cleaning up your mess after you left.”
He leaned back. “I don’t remember your working here.”
“Why would you?” She shifted her weight again, and he’d have to be dead not to notice that somewhere between his last visit home and now, Annie had become quite a knockout. “In those days, you could barely see beyond Jessica Holt’s big brown eyes and bodacious ta-tas. I, Annie of the flat-as-a-surfboard chest and metal mouth, deterred your hormonal-teenage-boy scrutiny.”
She certainly wasn’t flat-chested anymore.
He could argue about the hormonal part, but why bother. In high school, he’d been interested in three things; having fun, getting laid, and getting laid.
Some things were important enough to be counted twice.
“You make me sound like such a jackass.”
One corner of her luscious pink lips kicked upward. “You were.”
Yeah. He probably had been. And he wasn’t really sure he appreciated the reminder.
“So why are you working here now?” he asked, deftly changing the subject. “Didn’t you get enough slinging hash the first time around?”
“A girl’s got to earn a living somehow. Slinging hash is all I’ve ever really done. My hand-dipped chocolates haven’t exactly taken off like wildfire. And since Sweet’s street corners are already occupied with whiskey barrels and petunias, there isn’t any room for me to hang around waiting for customers.”
“Always the smart-ass,” he said.
“Takes one to know one.”
Before he could protest, she lifted her hand off the table and stepped back with a serious look.
“When you’re a single mom with a baby, you have to earn a living somewhere that will understand your child is your first priority. And that if they’re sick, you might not be able to make it to work that day. Bud’s a dad and a grandfather, so he understands. He also knows I’d never take his generosity for granted.”
Shit. How could he have gotten so tangled up in his own troubles that he’d forgotten Annie was a single mom now after having been abandoned by her baby’s slimeball father?
“How’s Max doing?”
“Growing like the cutest weed in the garden of life.” Pride burst across her pretty face. “He’s walking now. Gets into everything. Izzy’s trying to teach him to talk in sentences. But his favorite word is still Mamamamamama.”
He chuckled, and the sensation that pushed through his chest felt as warm as sunshine. Then just as quick, regret that he’d missed so much kicked in. “It seems like I was gone for an eternity. I can’t believe Max is walking. Reno and Charli have a baby. Jackson and Abby have one on the way. And Izzy’s already started kindergarten.”
“Your brother can’t believe it either. I think it’s hard for Jackson not seeing Izzy all the time because of the shared custody with Fiona. Even though Fiona’s an amazing mom and they have such a wonderful relationship. Mostly he complains that Izzy’s growing up so fast makes him feel old.”
Jake got that. He felt ancient, and he’d just barely turned thirty-one. “So I guess you’ll be at this get-together my mom is planning?”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“I don’t suppose you could talk her out of it.”
Eyes wide, she exhaled a little puff of exasperation. “Are you kidding me?”
“Nope.”
“Pardon me for being blunt, but why would you want to take that away from her?” She sighed, then glanced away when a customer called her name. With a nod in their direction, she brought her eyes back around to him, sharp and focused. “I know I can’t imagine what you went through over there. And I know when you guys come back you don’t always like to talk about it. But I was here with your mom when she got the call about what happened. I saw the absolute devastation and the fear on her face when she realized that not only had she lost her firstborn son and the husband she loved with all her heart, but that she’d also come very close to losing her baby boy. She’s so damned happy you made it home, there’s no way I’d try to talk her out of celebrating the fact that you’re alive.”
Rendered speechless for maybe the first time in his life, Jake lifted the glass of water to his mouth and sipped.
“You should be happy too, Jake.”
With a thud, he set his glass down on the table. For a long, awkward, silent moment, he watched the condensation slide down the side of the glass pitted by many trips through the dishwasher. When he composed himself, he looked up and pushed the menu in her direction.
He wasn’t happy.
And the constant ache in his chest made him realize he might never be happy again.
“So . . .” Annie tossed him a know-it-all glare. “Double Diablo burger with extra peppers, a side of sweet-potato fries—extra crispy, and a chocolate-banana shake?”
“Sure.” Dammit. He hated to let her win.
One purple-polished fingernail dragged the menu across the table. Jake held his breath and willed her to leave. But, of course, this was Annie, and God knew the girl did things in her own damned way and in her own damned time.
“Well, even if you aren’t happy . . .” She snatched up the menu. “I’m really glad you made it back.”
Seeking a much-needed break, Annie tossed Jake’s menu on the stack of others near the cash register, gave Bud a finger-across-the-throat indication that she was momentarily frazzled, and headed toward the back door. The screen door slammed with a shotgun bang behind her as she leaned against the old yellow building and sucked in a calming lungful of warm air.
The relief of seeing Jake alive and
back on home turf filled her heart with so much joy, it was hard to breathe. The moment he’d walked through the door, she’d wanted to reach out and touch him to make sure he was real and not just another one of her highly imaginative dreams. But touching Jake had never been a part of her reality. And that’s just one of the many things that sucked about worshipping from afar.
If she’d been a smoker, now would be the time she’d light one up to calm her nerves. Instead, she reached into the pocket of her apron, took out a watermelon-flavored Jolly Rancher, unwrapped it, and popped it into her mouth. The sugary tartness rolled over her tongue, and she closed her eyes to ward off the memories that nipped at her heels.
Closing her eyes only made those memories more powerful.
Why men had a habit of either rewriting history or dismissing it altogether, Annie didn’t know. But it seemed Jake had fallen down the rabbit hole and forgotten how, once upon a time, they’d spent hours together having heart-to-heart discussions about everything from why girls spent so many hours in front of the mirror trying to perfect what God had given them to why guys had such a crazy need to be so rough-and-tumble. They’d discussed how difficult it had often been for him to keep up with his brothers when sometimes all he really wanted to do was go out and dig a garden or move some rocks to form a nice landscape. They’d talked about how she felt every time her parents left her and her sister alone to go party for days on end.
Back in the day, they’d been each other’s confidants. Then Jake had gone away to college and subsequently joined the Marines. And he’d forgotten about her. She couldn’t help feeling a little lost after he’d walked out of her life. Sure, she’d had her sister to talk to. But Jake had been closer to her own age—only two years older—and he’d become the objective voice she’d needed when her demons tried to drag her down. Her personal testosterone-packed voice of reason.
She’d trusted him.
Completely.
When he was no longer there, she found, once again, she’d been left behind. Forgotten as though she didn’t matter. Her response had been to make a string of really bad decisions.
Now it appeared Jake had forgotten—or dismissed—all those times they’d sat on a stack of hay bales in the barn, or ridden out over Wilder Ranch on horseback while they deliberated deep and sometimes dark matters of the heart. Now, it seemed like all he could remember about her was . . . well, nothing really. And that hurt. No matter how hard she tried not to let it.
Still, he was alive.
Thank God.
Beside her, the screen door creaked open, and a very pregnant Paige Marshall stepped out and joined her in the shade. For a moment, her friend and coworker said nothing, just rubbed her hands over her ever-increasing belly.
“Jake’s hurting,” Paige said with a little sigh. “I know because he’s got that same haunted look in his eye that Aiden had when he came back from the war.”
“Did he ever tell you what happened over there?”
“A little. Not all.” Paige held out her hand. “Got another Jolly Rancher you can spare? This baby craves sweets, and I left my cinnamon bears at home.”
Annie plopped an apple-flavored candy into Paige’s hand and watched as her friend unwrapped it and stuck it in her mouth.
“Aiden thinks he’s protecting me by not telling me,” Paige explained. “But all he’s really doing is trying to keep the pain from rising to the surface. Sometimes that makes things worse. But I guess until they’re ready to tell the story, they’ll continue to try to find a way to cope.”
“Or realize they can’t?” Annie asked.
“Yeah. But Jake has his brothers. They’ve all been in his shoes. They’ve all suffered in some way, shape, or form. They all lost their big brother. They know the pain. So, hopefully they’ll be able to get him to talk.”
“What if he doesn’t?”
Paige turned her shoulder to the wall and looked into Annie’s face. “Then you’ll be there to catch him when he falls.”
“Me?” A cynical laugh pushed through Annie’s lips as her heart stumbled. “I’d never be the one Jake would turn to if he needed someone. Not as a friend or anything else.” At least not anymore.
“But you want to be?”
She blew out a sigh. “Guess there’s no denying I’ve always had a crazy thing for him.”
“Crazy as in he’s so gorgeous you want to jump his bones? Or crazy as in you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with him?”
“Both. But he never really noticed me.” In that way. Annie shook her head. “Still doesn’t.”
“Have you ever told him how you feel?”
Annie scoffed.
“That’s a lot of time to be thinking about a man and never letting him know.”
“Yep. A lonnnnng time.” Annie sighed and rested the back of her head against the side of the building. “But for some reason, whenever I get around him, my emotions tangle up my words, and we end up arguing. So I never opened that door. At first I didn’t because I didn’t want him to laugh at me. Then . . .” She shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I just didn’t ever want to hear him verify that he’d never feel the same about me.”
“I totally get that. I told Aiden how I felt right after he came back, and he basically threw my words in my face.”
“And yet, now you’re married and have a baby on the way.”
“Which wouldn’t have happened if I’d let the stubborn and clueless man have his own way.”
“I think about that. Jake almost died, and I never told him how I feel. Not that he’d care.”
“Don’t try to second-guess a Wilder, Annie. You won’t win. And I’m willing to give Jake a lot more credit. He’s a smart man.”
“I know.”
“Then why waste any more time? Why tempt fate?” Paige rubbed her hand over her belly again. “And just in case you were wondering, there’s a remedy for that arguing thing you two frequently do.”
“What’s that? Duct-tape my mouth?”
After Paige quit laughing, she cupped her hands over Annie’s shoulders. “No need for that. You just play it straight. Give him the business side of that mouth.”
“Which is?”
“You just kiss the poor guy, Annie. If the words don’t come out right, you let him know how you feel in a different way.”
“That’s what worked for Aiden?”
“That and a little moonlight.”
“What if Jake’s really not interested?”
“Then you get him to change his mind.” Paige grinned. “You want proof that technique works? Look no further than your own sister. Abby was in love with Jackson forever. For years, he refused to move her out of the friend zone. And even though for a while they went their own ways, she finally found a way to sneak past that stubborn, locked-down heart of his.” The hard candy clacked against Paige’s teeth.
“And look at Charli,” she continued. “Reno put up every barrier he could invent and then some to keep her away. But she still managed to get him to see reason. Although I suppose mentioning to him that she’d forgotten to put on panties while they were at the Wilder Barbecue Blowout might have helped a little.”
They both giggled at that.
“And if you want to talk about accomplishing the impossible, look at Allison. She had the challenge of turning Sweet’s most infamous playboy into a happily married man.”
“I think it was the other way around with Allison and Jesse. Seems to me he was the one who had to do all the sweet-talking.”
“An even better example of the endless possibilities.” Paige gave Annie’s shoulder a sympathetic pat. “Jake is a Wilder brother, Annie. He’s not going to make it easy. But if you really do have strong feelings for him, I guarantee he’ll be worth the trouble.”
There had been a time in Annie’s life when she’d have jumped throug
h hoops, stuffed her bra with tissue, or learned the Victoria’s Secret angels slinky walk to get Jake’s attention. The fear of rejection and humiliation had always stopped her from going after what she’d wanted. Back in the day, he hadn’t even put her in the friend zone, at least not when they’d been out in public. In private, he treated her completely different than he did in front of his family and friends. Those private moments they shared were few and far between. But they were precious. And she was pretty sure they meant a whole lot more to her than they ever did him.
Once he’d enlisted in the Marines, she knew he’d never come back and see her any different. He’d be too worldly. To him, she’d always be Annie Morgan, royal pain in the backside. She’d never be, Annie, the love of his life. So she’d moved on and away—almost two thousand miles—to try to find a life that would fill her soul with all the love and emotion she craved. Unfortunately, all she’d found was a low-paying job, loneliness, and heartache.
So much for grand ideas.
In Seattle, she thought she’d found love—her very own Prince Charming. Doug had been a hot musician with plenty of edge to keep him interesting. His music had been reflective and romantic. He’d had dark curly hair and seductive eyes like Jim Morrison from The Doors.
It had taken her almost two long years after Doug had moved into her apartment to realize he’d been too focused on his career to pay her much mind. On the other hand, for him she’d been a passionate supporter of his music. A financial support so he could focus on his career. And doormat for him to wipe his feet on when he learned she was pregnant with his child.
Beneath Doug’s stimulating rock-and-roll exterior, he hadn’t been charming at all. What she’d really found beneath all that hair and songwriting genius was a toad who proved there was no room in his life for her or their child.
As Paige opened the screen door for them to go back inside the diner, Annie admitted she’d made plenty of mistakes in her life. Having her little boy wasn’t one of them. But never letting Jake Wilder know how much she really cared might have been her most monumental.
