Tattered Loyalties

Home > Romance > Tattered Loyalties > Page 15
Tattered Loyalties Page 15

by Carrie Ann Ryan


  She fell just a little more in love.

  Dangerous, but inevitable with a man like him.

  “They’re beautiful, thank you.” She stood on her toes and kissed his chin. He lowered his head to hers, taking her in an achingly sweet kiss. Their touches were always so explosive, their lovemaking the one thing they always seemed to get right even if the first time had been somewhat awkward.

  This kiss, though...this kiss seemed different.

  She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

  She put the flowers in a vase Gideon got down for her then let out a breath. “I need to finish baking for the meeting. What are your plans?”

  Her mate ran a hand down her hair, the sensation of his touch intoxicating. He was starting to touch her more and more, as if it was ingrained and he was finally allowing himself that small pleasure. She prayed he never stopped.

  “I took the afternoon off to take you to the meeting,” he answered.

  She opened her mouth to speak, and he shook his head. “I’m not staying for your meeting, little wolf. That’s something you must do on your own. I will be close by with Walker because he needs me for a procedure, but I won’t take over your duties.”

  She relaxed, her hands busy with baking. “Thank you. I know it’s not easy, but I can’t have you over my shoulder all the time and still be my own wolf.”

  He nodded then started putting the just-baked cookies on a cookie rack. She enjoyed the simple act of him baking with her. Who would have thought the big, bad Alpha of the Talon Pack would help her bake cookies? Of course, she should have thought he’d like it. Her Grandpa Edward had enjoyed baking when Grandma Pat had let him. She and Grandpa had loved cookies, especially the sugar ones. He hadn’t cared that she was a tomboy, roughhousing with Finn and the other boys. He hadn’t cared that her pigtails were never even. He’d loved her because she was his granddaughter—submissive wolf and all.

  Gideon gave her an odd look then went back to helping her bake. She licked her lips but didn’t mention it. There was no use embarrassing him when things were going so well. “Why does Walker need you?”

  “One of the wolves has a genetic condition that’s rare amongst wolves. It’s not a huge thing, but it affects their blood. Walker can Heal it, but it takes a tremendous amount of energy.”

  She nodded, filling up another cookie sheet. “So he’ll use the bond between Healer and Alpha to help?”

  “Yes, I’m there as backup in case Walker needs me. Ryder or Mitchell could do it as well, but since Walker’s place is near where you’ll be, it makes sense that I should do it. It won’t weaken me since we’re using the excess power, and it will help a Pack member.”

  She smiled at that. “You’re a good Alpha, Gideon.”

  He didn’t speak for so long she was sure he’d never answer, but when he did, it was a low growl. “I’m not yet, little wolf. But I will be. One day.”

  What must he have gone through to think he wasn’t good enough? Now that she was part of the Pack, she’d help him fix it, but she wasn’t sure how to go about it. Being kept in the dark didn’t aid matters. That would have to change soon if she ever had any hope of helping her mate.

  Instead of saying something he’d brush off as a platitude, she kept her tone light, asking questions about his family. She didn’t want to dig too deep—some secrets weren’t meant to be shared—but she wanted to know them through his eyes as well as her own.

  By the time they had the last batch on the cooling racks, she had less than an hour to shower and get ready.

  Gideon’s eyes darkened, but she shook her head.

  “No, if you shower with me, I won’t be able to think, and we’ll be late.”

  He growled softly but nodded. “Fine, but I want you to smell like me when you’re there.” Her breath caught. “It will help soothe their wolves,” he added.

  She swallowed hard, knowing she shouldn’t have been hurt by the last part. It was the truth, but she’d liked it when she thought he wanted her to smell like him because he wanted it, not for an actual purpose.

  “I’ll be quick, and then you can hug me before we go.”

  He grinned then, though it didn’t reach his eyes. There was something bothering him, and Brie knew it could be one of the countless things coming at them from all sides. “I’ll rub up on you, darling. Don’t worry.”

  Her pussy clenched, and she turned tail, running to the bedroom even as Gideon laughed. Damn man and his damn voice. He could turn her on with just a word, and now she had to shower quickly so she could be presentable.

  She cleaned up fast then put her wet hair in a ponytail. It would take forever to dry since it was so thick, and she wasn’t in the mood to deal with drying it. She also didn’t want to look too done up when she met with the other wolves. If she looked like she spent too much time with her looks, they’d think she was a pampered princess. She already had to fight the stigma of being a submissive. She didn’t want to add another layer to that. Instead she dressed carefully, making sure she looked respectable, but not fancy. Every nuance, every movement meant so much. It was exhausting.

  When she came out of the bedroom, Gideon was just finishing putting the rest of the cookies in a container for her.

  “Thank you,” she said softly, and he smiled at her, this time the light reaching his eyes.

  “You’re welcome. I saved some for us, if that’s okay. Oatmeal chocolate chip is my favorite.”

  She marked that down on her internal list then blushed, remembering how she’d gotten the rest of her list.

  Gideon stalked toward her, his smile turning into a smirk. “I’d love to know where those thoughts of yours are right now, little wolf.”

  “I think you know,” she whispered then sank into his hold as he brought her to his chest. She’d like to think that he was doing this because he wanted to, not because he had to, but it didn’t matter. Her wolf craved his touch, and she’d take what she could. He kissed her softly, deepening the kiss when she moaned into him.

  He rocked into her, his erection digging into her belly. When he pulled back, they were both breathless. “We should go,” he said, his voice low. “Don’t want to be late.”

  She licked her swollen lips and nodded. “Yes, we should. And now I for sure smell like you.”

  Something passed over his face, and she wished she could take the words back. Maybe she’d been wrong and he’d held her for reasons other than scent marking. Damn it. She felt as though she’d never get a footing on this whole mating thing.

  “You’ll call for me if you need me.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. She nodded anyway.

  “I have my phone, or if I truly need you, I can call you through the bond.”

  “Good.” He looked as though he was struggling for the right words then cupped her face once more. “You will be fine. These are your people too, little wolf. I want them to see the woman I see. See the Alpha that you’re becoming.”

  Her heart warmed, and she stood there, frozen. She hadn’t expected the words and, because of that, had to hold back tears.

  “I won’t disappoint you, Gideon.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t think you could.” His finger brushed her cheek, and then he pulled back. “You are braver than most wolves I know, Brie Brentwood. Remember that.”

  Stunned, she could only blink at him then grab a container of cookies. He picked up the other, and they made their way to the maternals’ part of the den.

  The Talon den was very similar to the Redwoods in that the den center was where most of the action took place. They had schools, shops, and places to eat. Some people lived close to the center while others lived on the far outskirts of the den. The elders had their own area on the other side of the den from the Pack circle while Gideon’s home was closer to the center. It was shielded by trees and had a sense of privacy, but it was still close enough that people could come and speak with him if they needed him. All of the Brentwoods were like that. People gave
them their privacy, but their duty was to their people first, then themselves.

  The maternals had their own area by the schools. It was a meeting place where they could watch over the pups, like a daycare. Every parent raised their own children, but with the wolves, it truly took a village. The maternals were their teachers and confidants. They were the true heart of the Pack.

  Brie sucked in a shaky breath when they made their way to the doorstep. She wasn’t sure she’d ever been so nervous—even when she’d mated Gideon. And that was saying something.

  Gideon ran a hand down her back then pulled away. “Good luck, little wolf.” With that, he jogged toward Walker’s place. Leaving her alone.

  No, not alone. He was still part of her, part of their bond. He’d done what she asked, and she’d never felt so cared for.

  The door opened before Brie could knock, and she smiled at the woman in front of her. “Gwen, thank you for having me today.”

  Gwen was the head maternal, and Brie hoped that one day they would be friends. Their roles would be forever entwined, so this first step was a major one.

  The other woman gave a regal nod then stepped back. “Come in, Brie. I see you’ve brought cookies. The pups will enjoy them.”

  There was something off in Gwen’s tone, as if she was holding back her true feelings. Brie couldn’t scent anything off in the words and knew them to be truth, but they weren’t all that welcoming either.

  “I have two kinds, but I can always bake others if they prefer them for next time.” Brie smiled, her tone light. “My mother is a baker—it’s how she met my father—so I seemed to have carried the gene.”

  “I see,” Gwen said, a small smile on her face, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

  Brie’s stomach clenched as a ball of lead settled at the bottom. This was not going to end well. No matter how hard she tried, there was something truly wrong with this Pack. She knew she might never be accepted by the dominants, but she hoped she’d have a chance with the maternals.

  Right then, it looked as if that avenue might be lost as well.

  She wouldn’t be going down without a fight though.

  Brie set the cookies on the counter then looked out the window. The pups were playing a game in wolf form, bouncing around and wrestling with their claws sheathed. They had to be between six and seven years old and were so freaking adorable. She took a step toward the window then paused when Gwen put her hand on Brie’s arm. She looked down then up at Brie, her wolf brushing along Brie’s skin.

  “Is something that matter?” she asked, her tone calm. Far calmer than she felt.

  Gwen looked as though she wanted to say something then let go, clamping her mouth shut.

  Oh no, that would not do.

  “What is it, Gwen?”

  The other woman let out a breath then raised her chin. “I can tell you’re a good girl, Brie.”

  This was not going to end well.

  “I’m a woman, not a girl, Gwen. I’m also the Alpha’s mate.” She frowned. “But that’s the problem isn’t it?”

  Gwen sighed. “I’m sure you’re a wonderful wolf. A pleasant submissive who, in the right setting, can help many a dominant settle their wolves so they can protect the Pack. You are not, however, good enough to be the Alpha’s mate.”

  Shocked, Brie staggered back, her eyes wide. “Excuse me?” Her voice shook. She was astonished this woman would speak so bluntly. She did her best to keep her emotions in check. If Gideon felt something wrong across the bond, he’d be there in an instant, and she couldn’t afford that. If he didn’t let her fight for herself, then it would only prove harder for her to find her place.

  “You heard me, Brie,” she said then sighed again. “I know I will probably get my throat slit for even saying it, but it’s the truth.”

  Brie shook her head. “You are underestimating your Alpha if you think he’ll kill you, if you think I will kill you for having poor judgment.”

  The other woman’s eyes flashed, and Brie saw the truth of the other woman’s nature. She was not a bad woman; she was a maternal. That meant she’d do all within her strength to protect the youngest of the Pack. Too bad she was going about it all wrong.

  “You are a submissive, Brie.”

  “I know that,” Brie snapped then reined herself back. “I’ve known that since I could first form thoughts.”

  “The Alpha can’t have a submissive for a mate. Especially not an Alpha such as Gideon. He needs someone who can protect that Pack with him. You are too weak to do it.” Tears filled Gwen’s eyes, but Brie felt no sympathy. “Fate can be cruel. I know this more than most, but fate is wrong this time, Brie. You’re going to die protecting the Pack because you’re not strong enough. Gideon will die trying to save you because he can’t do anything else. No matter what, you’re not what this Pack needs.”

  Brie growled, her wolf rising to the forefront. She was not weak, despite what this woman thought—despite what others in the Pack thought.

  “You cannot know the future, Gwen. You only know what others whisper in your ears and what you fear. You are wrong. I might not be a fighter, but that doesn’t mean I won’t fight. There are reasons submissives are part of the Pack, and you should know that better than anyone. I will not back down because people are scared I might whimper if someone growls too loudly.”

  Gwen shook her head. “You’re only using the Alpha’s bonds to act strong.”

  “Am I? Or are you underestimating me? You’re underestimating the strength of your Alpha as well. I…I know that I’m not what any of you expected, but cutting my legs out from under me before I even begin won’t help anyone.”

  Gwen let out a breath. “I cannot let you near the pups. You will confuse them.”

  Pain sliced across her heart, but she didn’t let it show. Instead, she stalked toward Gwen. The other wolf’s eyes glowed gold, and she backed up a step.

  “I won’t claw you. I won’t even make you bleed,” Brie said softly. “As you know, it’s not in my nature. But I will hurt you if you don’t move away. You might think you are more dominant, but you are not my dominant. You are a maternal wolf with too much power.”

  Gwen’s eyes flared, and for a moment, Brie saw her true nature. “Iona would have been a better mate than you.”

  Brie slapped the other woman, keeping her claws sheathed. “Iona wouldn’t have been his mate at all. You might have gotten me for a moment with the care-for-the-Pack bit, but you are just a jealous friend who wanted more.”

  “You’re out, Gwen,” Gideon said from behind her, and Brie cursed inwardly.

  Damn it. Why did he have to be there? She was handling this on her own. Now whatever she did, it would be tainted because he was there. She might be grateful that he would always be there, but some things she needed to do on her own. When would he understand that?

  Gwen’s eyes filled with tears, and she sucked in a breath. “My Alpha, you can’t do that. I’ve been the head maternal since your father was alive.”

  Brie reached back and gripped Gideon’s hand, knowing he’d need the support even if he didn’t.

  “Yes, you have been. My mistake was letting you stay because I thought you were on the side of change. Go to the kitchens, Gwen. You’re demoted until I can find a better use for you. Olivia will take your place. She cares for the children’s welfare more than her standing in the Pack.”

  Sobbing, Gwen shot Brie a deadly look then stomped off.

  Brie refused to look back at her mate, angry beyond all reason.

  “You didn’t call me,” Gideon snapped, angry as well.

  “I didn’t need you to handle it for me,” she said right back, her tone biting. “You just undermined everything I was working for by coming in and taking over.”

  Gideon stalked around her then gripped her chin. “I am Alpha. That’s what I do.”

  She pulled away, cold at the loss. “Then what am I?” she asked, her voice hollow.

  Aware they were starting to gain an au
dience, she turned around and headed toward the door. “I’ll come back tomorrow and begin again. This is not over, Gideon.”

  “Little wolf.”

  She ignored him, instead walking back toward her home, her chin held high. She felt the stares of others around her and even the brush of a wolf against her as the lieutenants circled her as protection. She would never be without guards, she knew that, yet right then, she’d never felt so alone.

  Gideon didn’t understand, and Brie wasn’t sure she did either.

  Her place in the Pack was in flux, and each time he came to rescue her it made her life just that much harder. She needed to find a way to be her own wolf, submissive and caring, and also be the Alpha’s mate, strong and protective.

  Only, she wasn’t sure that balance existed.

  And if she could never find it, there wasn’t hope for much else.

  With that aching thought, she pushed out her pain, knowing she needed to be stronger than she as acting. Because if she wasn’t careful, she’d lose herself, and without that, what did she have left?

  Chapter Thirteen

  The warm body pressed to his shifted slightly, and Gideon held back a groan. It was too early to be awake, but he hadn’t slept well. In fact, he hadn’t slept well in weeks. Not since Leo revealed himself then seemingly vanished off the face of the earth. No matter the hunters he had on the situation and the technology at his fingertips, Gideon could not find his uncle.

  Not only did that enrage his wolf, it made him feel fucking helpless as well.

  Brie shifted again, this time her bottom pressing against his already rigid cock. He sucked in a breath, forcing his hips to stay put and not rock against her softness. She needed her sleep, not his grabby hands.

  He held his breath, but she didn’t move again. When he let it out, he forced himself to relax. Things were rocky as fuck when it came to his mate, but at least she still let him hold her. He tried not to think too hard about the fact that it could only be her wolf wanting the closeness, but he also knew she’d been practically touch-starved before their mating. She’d not only been a virgin, but she’d also held herself back from others just enough that her wolf had leapt into their mating, no holds barred. He knew she’d done that because she hadn’t been able to stomach the touch of others once she’d caught the glimpse of him, and it killed him.

 

‹ Prev