Hours later, she was filthy, exhausted, and in need of her mate. However, from the looks of some of the wolves, she’d gained rank in their eyes. She felt so foolish for even thinking it. People had been hurt. The only thing she could do was help. At least people saw that now.
It was a step—she only wished she could have made it another way.
Warm arms wrapped around her, and she sank into Gideon’s hold. “We’re going home.”
Not a question, but an order. One she’d gladly obey. She was exhausted anyway.
They made their way home in silence. It wasn’t an uncomfortable one, more like they had nothing to say that couldn’t wait until they were clean and sure the other one was safe.
He pulled her into the bathroom and stripped off her clothes then his. She let him care for her because they both needed it, but that didn’t stop her from checking out his arms and hands. He had small cuts and scrapes from where he’d moved beams and other debris away. He’d heal by morning, but she didn’t like seeing him hurt.
When he pulled her into the shower, he made sure the spray hit his back before it hit her. Her wolf, her mate, so caring.
He washed her hair, picking out the splinters and pieces of plaster, then he bent down so she could do the same to him. He had such soft, silky hair. The thick strands slid over her hands and arms when she rinsed the soap out. She loved the fact that it was so long. It wasn’t as long as hers, but longer than most of the men in the Pack. It fit him.
They washed each other’s bodies, slowly and carefully. It wasn’t sexual, yet, at the same time, it was. They didn’t linger, but her breasts ached, and his cock was hard against his belly. Still, they only rinsed off then dried each other before walking into the bedroom naked.
Gideon sat at the edge of the bed then pulled her onto his lap. His rigid cock pressed against her ass, but she didn’t wiggle or move. They needed to talk first, if only to ensure they were okay—then she’d ensure he was really okay.
“Is everyone going to heal?” she asked.
Her mate nodded against the top of her head. “Yes. Only a few broken bones and one deep laceration. Walker took care of that.” He let out a shaky breath. “None of the children had anything but small cuts and bruises. The adults threw themselves over the pups.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything else,” she said, her voice hollow. “I just don’t like the fact that it happened at all. Do we know what it was?”
“It will take us a while to go through the damage, and because of the accelerant used, we can’t scent anyone other than those who were supposed to be there, so we don’t know who was responsible.”
She closed her eyes tight. “It was on purpose then? Not a faulty gas line or something electrical?”
“This was deliberate. Someone wanted to destroy the maternal area. Someone also waited until you were in the building to set it off.”
Gideon’s body grew tight as a bowstring, and she forced herself to relax. If she let out how scared she was, how angry, she’d set him off. Oh, he’d never hurt her, but he might hurt himself in his rage.
“We will find out who set it.” She paused. “Have you searched for Leo’s presence?”
He let out a small growl. “We didn’t scent him. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t him or someone who is working with him. We still haven’t found who let him into the den the first time.”
“Do we want it to be him?” she asked.
“Yes. Because if it was him, we know the enemy. If it wasn’t him? That means we have more enemies than we thought.”
His body shook, and she curled her hand on his chest. Her mate had so much control, but sometimes control wasn’t enough.
“Is there anything we can do about it tonight?”
He shook his head, his body moving under hers. “No. We have people out hunting and others studying the remains, but there’s nothing you or I can do tonight.”
“Then love me, Gideon.” She looked up at him, and he swallowed hard. “Make love to me. Help me remember that it’s okay to feel. Just be with me.”
He blinked once, twice, and then lowered his lips to hers. She sighed into him, loving the taste of her mate. He wrapped his arms around her tighter, and she rocked.
He pulled away, breathless. “You’re not too hurt?”
She shook her head. “I’m fine. Ready even.” She smiled softly. “Please?”
“You never have to beg, little wolf.” His eyes darkened. “Unless I want you to.”
Her wolf whimpered, and she quickly wiggled off his lap.
“Brie…”
Before he could growl that she’d moved off his lap, she quickly got back on, this time straddling him. He grinned then cupped her butt, molding her cheeks with his large hands.
“I like the way you feel, little wolf. More than a handful.” Squeeze. “Perfect for me.”
With her knees on either side of him, she lifted up. His cock pressed along her pussy, and she moaned.
“You need more foreplay, little wolf,” he growled softly. One hand let go of her ass, and he slid it between them, running his thumb over her clit.
She sucked in a breath then shook her head. “I’m always wet around you. Always ready.” With that, she slowly, oh so slowly, slid down his length.
“Fuck. Me.” Gideon growled, and she smiled.
“Trying to.”
By the time she was fully seating on his lap, they were both sweaty, their bodies straining.
“I need to move, little wolf, but I don’t want to hurt you.”
She met his gaze then rocked into him. They both moaned. “Move, then. I won’t break.”
He moved.
She kept her gaze on his, never breaking eye contact. He squeezed her ass, pulling her up and down his cock, even as she rocked her body, increasing the friction. Her inner walls clamped down, and her mouth parted.
“Gideon…” she panted.
“Mine.” He bit her lip, and she came. The possession in his tone, his growl sent her over the edge, and her pussy clenched around his cock, squeezing him. He went off with another growl, still pumping in and out of her as he came.
It was a quick, fast, hard fuck, but it was exactly what she needed—what they needed.
“Mine,” she whispered back once she caught her breath.
Gideon cupped her face with one hand and brushed her hair back with the other. “Yours.”
Her heart warmed, and she licked her lips. Yes, she could start to believe that, start to believe in the future. The darkness threatening them stalked her, but she set that aside for the moment. It would come, and she would fight, but right then, she was the Alpha’s and he, hers.
Finally.
Chapter Fourteen
Gideon’s body shook, and he forced himself not to punch through another wall. He had more control than that—though it didn’t look like it lately. He quickly threw some cold water on his face, hoping it would calm down his wolf. Brie slept in the next room, exhausted after their lovemaking and the maternal house explosion.
Though he tried, he hadn’t been able to fall asleep, his wolf too on edge for even a moment’s peace. In fact, the only peace he’d felt in a long while was when he had Brie in his arms. He never thought he’d feel that way about another person. It hadn’t crossed his mind he’d care for another being like he did.
He’d spent so long fighting for the good of the Pack, tarnishing his soul so others could breathe again, that the idea of a mate perfect for him seemed far-fetched. Then there were those long years without a single mating within the Pack. Some thought it was the moon goddess cursing the den because of what Joseph had done, but Gideon had another idea. What if the moon goddess was cursing him instead? He’d done the unthinkable and had the blood of so many others on his hands. He didn’t deserve a mate, and he damn sure didn’t deserve the woman in his bed.
She’d taken one hit and kept on coming, surprising him at every turn. Their mating wasn’t a burden, wasn’t something they were
forced into anymore. It was something he wanted to cherish. In order to do that, though, he knew it was time to tell her the entire history of the Pack and how he’d become Alpha. In the times of war and strife, what he’d done might not look as bad as he felt it did, but it was dark enough that it hurt his wolf, his being.
It was time to face the truth and hope Brie and her wolf wanted him enough to stay. Oh, she’d always be his mate, but she didn’t have to live with him, didn’t have to keep him in her life. There were ways around that. He prayed she’d choose him once it was all over.
If she didn’t…well, he didn’t want to think about that outcome. He wasn’t sure he could bear it.
He could still see the blood on her face, the soot and plaster covering her body when he’d first seen her in the rubble. His heart had leapt out of his chest, his mind going into panic mode. He’d been so close to losing her. If she’d been just a few seconds early or a few feet closer, he could have lost her. It didn’t matter that she was a wolf and could heal faster and take more damage than humans; she could have been killed.
He didn’t know what he would do if he lost her.
And that was the crux of it.
He’d found a mate who burrowed her way into his heart, and he had no idea how she’d gotten there. Now that she was there, though, he wasn’t about to let her go. That meant he’d fight for her, even if she was the one who wanted to leave once he told her everything he’d done.
“Gideon?”
He turned toward the door between the bathroom and bedroom, and took a deep breath. Her sweet scent drifted toward him, and he found himself moving in her direction without a second thought. Her chestnut hair tumbled around her shoulders, and she’d put on one of his shirts, mixing his scent with her own. She was in his skin, just as he was in hers. While he wanted to rub along her body once more to make sure that scent lingered, he didn’t. They needed to talk first.
“I thought you were sleeping,” he murmured then cupped her face, unable to not touch.
She leaned into his palm and put her hand on his chest. “I couldn’t. Not with you pacing in here. What’s going on, Gideon? Are you worried about someone hurting the den again?”
He swallowed hard then shifted his hand so it was at the back of her neck, claiming her in a possessive manner. “We need to talk, Brie.”
Her eyes widened for a moment, and then she bit her lip. “Whenever someone says that, it usually means something bad.”
She met his gaze, her wolf in her eyes. She might not be aggressive, but her wolf knew his wolf would never hurt her. That trust was something he would do his best never to break.
“I need to tell you about my parents and how I became Alpha.” The strength of his voice surprised him.
“Okay, we can do that.” Her hand remained on his chest, and she petted him softly. “I know some of it, Gideon. Whatever you think you did that was so dark, so painful, it can’t be as bad as you think. You wouldn’t be the man you are today if that were the case.”
He took her hand from his chest and kissed her fingertips, his wolf pacing. “I hope you feel that way once I’m done.”
“Let’s go sit on the couch then. I’ll make coffee.” She turned away, and he tugged at her, bringing her back to his chest. He nuzzled along her neck, inhaling her scent once more, ensuring he’d never forget it.
“You don’t need to take care of me, little wolf.”
She sighed but didn’t pull away. “I thought we went over this already. I do need to take care of you. It makes my wolf happy.”
He kissed her shoulder then pulled away. “Then, thank you.”
She gave him a small smile over her shoulder and went to the kitchen. He took a deep breath and followed her. She wouldn’t let him help, but he could carry the mugs back so she wouldn’t have to. While her wolf wanted to care for him, his needed to care for her. It might have been a different kind of caring, but that’s what made their relationship unique.
They settled on the couch near each enough to touch but not on top of one another like he usually preferred.
“My father was not a kind man,” he began, then paused. “No, that’s making it sound like he had bad moods. My father was a brute. A killer. He should never have been Alpha, but it was in his blood. He might have started out a better man than he became, but I never met that man. That wolf.”
Brie put her hand on his knee, and he let her keep it there. Her touch settled him.
His submissive wolf, his mate.
“He and his brothers held all the positions of the hierarchy. Unlike our generation where Mitchell is Beta even though he’s my cousin and not my brother, Joseph and his brothers held all the power.” He met her unwavering gaze and knew he could tell her anything. “They abused that power in all the ways possible.”
She frowned. “If they did, how did the Redwoods never know?”
He let out a breath. “Because unlike the Centrals, who used their evil to call a demon to the world and show off their kills, the Talons, at the time, kept to themselves. You saw us as weaker than you but not evil because that’s what Joseph wanted you to see.”
She squeezed his knee. “I’m a Talon now, Gideon.”
He blinked then nodded. “Yes. Yes you are. But you were born a Redwood, and that loyalty will never break. I will never fault you for being a Redwood in part of your heart as well, little wolf.”
His mate blinked back tears but didn’t say anything. There wasn’t much to say at that point.
“Anyway, like I was saying, Joseph ruled with an iron fist. He wanted the power the Redwoods had, but he went about it the wrong way.”
Brie nodded. “My grandfather knew his role as Alpha came with a responsibility of protection, not merely power. My Uncle Kade is the same way.”
He brushed her hand with his fingertips, needing the touch of her skin to keep going. “Joseph had four brothers, Timothy, Reggie, Abraham, and Leo. Leo, as you know, didn’t hold a place in the hierarchy. I think that’s what shaped him into who he is today. He mated young and had Mitchell and Max, but Lina died giving birth to Max. I don’t know if Leo was ever truly sane before that, but he broke after Lina died.”
He sucked in a breath, knowing he, too, might break if he lost his mate, but that didn’t excuse Leo for his crimes.
“Reggie was the Healer and Abraham the Enforcer, but they didn’t do their duties. They were at Joseph’s beck and call. We never had a true Omega to help us. No matter that we needed one desperately.” Without someone to sense the true emotions of the Pack, to help siphon the good as well as the bad, they were lost. He met Brie’s gaze. “Joseph and the others started with the submissives. You see, they didn’t understand the true nature of wolves. They thought if they tortured those below them they could force the wolf to become aggressive.”
He felt a flare of pain along the bond, the sense that her wolf was howling deep within. He squeezed her hand, and she did the same back but didn’t speak.
“When they figured out they couldn’t force a submissive wolf to become dominant, they killed him.”
“That wasn’t you, Gideon,” she whispered. “You can’t blame yourself.”
He met her gaze, knowing he’d lose her. “I was the Heir, Brie. Before I grew strong enough to fight back…” He couldn’t say it. Couldn’t let her know…but he had to. “They made me watch, Brie. When I was too young to stop them, they made me watch. And I did nothing.”
His wolf howled, clawing at him. Brie went sheet white but didn’t pull away, didn’t hit him, or run away.
“You were a child,” she said, her voice like a whip. “You did nothing wrong, Gideon.”
She didn’t understand. She couldn’t. She was good while he came from nothing but pain and evil.
“I watched them cut open men, women, and children because they couldn’t understand how those different from themselves worked. I stood by and let it happen.”
“Did you stand, Gideon? Did you really?” she asked, her voi
ce soft.
He blinked. “They chained me to the chair until I was strong enough to break free.”
“There. That is the man you are. Not the man who raised you. No, that’s not an appropriate word. He didn’t raise you. He tortured you just like he did them.” She squeezed his hand. “He didn’t have you in his image, so he tried to beat you into it.”
He closed his eyes, letting out a breath. “When that didn’t work, he let my uncles beat me, trying to make me become a man. Mitchell and Max had their own pain with Leo, and I don’t know all that went on in their home until they came to live with us. My brothers, Brynn, and I though dealt with Joseph…and my mother.”
“You don’t speak of her.” A statement, not a question.
“She was just as bad as him,” he whispered. “She wanted the demons out of her sons. She blamed us for what her mate had become. I think…I think being mated to a man so evil for so long tainted her.” He met her tearful gaze and sighed. “She killed herself because she couldn’t handle it anymore. She abandoned us to a monster and his brothers.”
“Oh baby,” she whispered then moved to sit in his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her nose to his skin. His arms came around her, and he shuddered out a breath.
“Our Pack was dying,” he continued. “Joseph kicked out your aunt and uncle because of what had happened to them and didn’t think twice about the baby growing in her womb. Then the Centrals started their war, and we were losing people as well in the crossfire. Though I might be strong, I wasn’t strong enough to take down an Alpha as well as the rest of the hierarchy. The rest of us could have done it, knowing we might die in the process, but with the Pack divided, we didn’t know who to trust. It took too long, but I was finally able to kill my father.”
She petted his chest, kissed his neck.
“We took out the rest of the poison, but we weren’t able to get each member who followed my father. Not everyone participated in the tortures, the black magic. Some, like Shannon, hid behind their titles and had never truly sided with the others so they were able to live free. I’ve never been able to completely exorcise the demons from our Pack, but we’re healthier now than we were.” He paused. “Or maybe that was all a dream. Look at how they’ve treated you. It’s been thirty years, and we haven’t grown enough.” He’d failed as an Alpha, and he knew it.
Tattered Loyalties Page 17
