‘Maybe.’ I lowered my voice to a whisper. ‘There could be good news on that front too though. This is top secret, but our man on the council says there might not even be any barbastelles. Not any more.’
‘Did he? Wow, that’s huge!’ He held me back to grin at me. ‘Some day, eh?’
‘You can say that again. I’m knackered.’
‘Better let me go now, love,’ Cameron said, glancing round the room. ‘Me and Tom aren’t officially an item yet. People might get the wrong idea.’
I untangled myself from the hug. ‘But everyone knows, don’t they?’
‘Our group does. No one else.’ He looked dejected. ‘Your brother wants to keep it quiet.’
I hopped up on a barstool and patted the one next to me for Cam. ‘You don’t though, right?’
‘I hate secrets,’ he said, climbing on to the stool. ‘And I don’t see the point of this one. Not exactly an illicit liaison, is it?’
‘But it is early days. You want to take things slowly.’
‘Still. When he doesn’t even want to hold hands in case people see… it’s hard not to feel he’s ashamed of me.’
I shook my head. ‘That’s not it at all. He’s just shy, he hates the idea of people talking.’
Cameron frowned. ‘Why would they? There’s not a lot of homophobia here, is there?’
‘No, but there aren’t a lot of same-sex couples either,’ I said. ‘Not much happens in Egglethwaite, people’ll gossip about anything out of the ordinary.’
He shrugged. ‘Let them, if they lead such quiet lives. I’m not fussed.’
‘But Tom is. Suppose it goes back to our dad really.’
‘What, he had a problem with Tom being gay?’
‘Sort of, but not like you might think,’ I said, flinching. It was hard, remembering Dad as anything less than perfect. ‘When Tom came out Dad just went quiet for a bit, then said he didn’t understand it personally but he wanted his kids to be happy. Gave him a hug and told him not to worry about it.’
‘So what was the issue?’ Cameron asked. ‘Sounds like everyone’s dream come-out.’
‘Because Dad really didn’t understand, and that bothered our Tom. He never said anything, but I know it did. Something that seemed to him like the most uncomplicated thing in the world being questioned. Gerry’s the same. He doesn’t disapprove exactly, but heterosexual is always default.’ I sighed. ‘And then there was this distinction Dad made, between the two of us.’
‘He treated you differently than Tom?’
‘He would’ve said he didn’t. I don’t think he even noticed he was doing it. But it was there, all the same. If he liked my boyfriends, he’d invite them for tea, shake hands, all that stuff. He never did that with Tom’s boyfriends. Oh, he’d have them over if Tom invited them – cook all his best dishes for them, almost like he was overcompensating. But he never asked.’
‘And then you felt guilty.’
‘Yes,’ I said in a small voice. ‘It felt like I was taking Dad away from Tom.’
‘It wasn’t your fault, Lana,’ Cam said, rubbing my back. ‘Tom says you’re a great sister. His best friend too.’
I sent a fond smile in Tom’s direction. ‘Well, back at him. Not that we ever say it to each other.’
‘Seems like you don’t need to.’
‘So how about you?’ I asked. ‘Are your parents fine with it?’
‘Ha! Yeah, funny story. I spent years worrying about telling them, then one day it was getting serious with a lad from uni so I sat them down to break the news. They looked worried sick. Then when I told them I was bi, my mum just looked super-relieved and said “Oh, we know that”. Thought I was going to say I’d got hooked on Class-As or something.’
I laughed.
‘Anyway, softened the blow before I told them about my crystal meth habit,’ Cameron said, grinning.
‘Can I ask something personal, Cam?’
‘If you like.’
‘I was just wondering – well, you’ve got a zoology degree,’ I said. ‘How come you work in a chip shop?’
‘What’s wrong with working in a chip shop?’
‘Nothing. Just all the fish are sort of… dead. Couldn’t you be doing something with less batter and more, you know, zoology?’
He sighed. ‘I don’t know, Lana. It was the family business, stopgap after uni. And a year became two, and three… There’s jobs enough down south, but this place – gets under your skin, doesn’t it?’
‘I know what you mean.’
‘I could ask you the same,’ he said, glancing at the painted coat of arms behind the bar. ‘You’re a clever girl, Lana Donati. What’re you doing trapped here in the Dark Ages?’
I shrugged. ‘Same really. I always had this thing when I was young, about astronomy. And I said it was Dad’s illness stopped me following it. But now he’s gone, I just think, where can you see the Milky Way better than the moors on a clear night?’
‘Yeah. It does feel like everywhere else is trading down.’
I patted his knee. ‘Well, for Tom’s sake I’m glad you stuck around. You two go perfect together.’
‘Wish he thought so,’ Cameron said, casting a morose look at Tom laughing with Sue and Judy by the buffet table.
‘He does. He’s probably just scared if he rushes things, he’ll mess it up. Talk to him if you’re worried about it.’ I pushed back my stool. ‘Right, buffet’s done, I think. I’d better let Deano know he can shut everything down in the kitchen.’
I was assuming the kitchen was where Deano was hiding, since I couldn’t see him. I found him taking a time out, leaning against the cooker sipping his stolen whisky.
‘Helping yourself to my booze, you cheeky get?’
He shrugged. ‘I earned it. You’ve had enough free labour out of me today.’
‘Give us some then.’ I took the whisky off him and downed a swig.
‘Come to congratulate me?’ he said.
‘You did do well on the buffet. Nice idea with the fruitcake.’
‘Cheers. So what do you reckon to our chances?’
I grinned. ‘Well we got it.’
‘Shit! They told you already?’
‘Sort of off the record, but yeah. Turns out the viaduct plus Stew in the buff is a winning combination.’
Deano squinted at me. ‘Speaking of, what’s with you and Stew?’
‘Nothing,’ I said, hiding my face in the whisky tumbler. ‘There’s nothing with us.’
He didn’t say anything. He just examined my face with a cross-eyed look, like he was reading my soul. The man must be part barbastelle.
‘All right,’ he said at last.
‘Is that it, “all right”?’
He shrugged. ‘Why, what else do you want?’
‘Normally when people grill me on Stewart McLean they start dishing out free advice all over the shop.’
‘You can have some advice if you want it.’
‘Yeah, go on,’ I said with a resigned sigh. ‘I’m starting a collection.’
‘Well, you’re in love with him, so based on that my advice is go for it.’
I actually staggered backwards. ‘Say that again.’
‘I said go for it.’
‘Not that bit. The first bit.’
‘Oh, right. Yeah, I said you’re in love with him.’
‘No I’m not.’ I managed a pretty obvious fake laugh. ‘Don’t be daft, Deano.’
‘All right.’
‘Can you stop saying “all right”?’
‘All right.’ He took the half-forgotten whisky out of my hand and finished it. ‘Anyway, lie to yourself if you like, that’s your business. Just don’t forget you owe me a snog. You can’t get out of it this time, Lanasaurus, you promised.’
I groaned. ‘I did, did
n’t I? Ok, pucker up then. No tongues, mind.’
And just as I planted a smacker right on his lips, I heard the door swing open.
‘Oh my God, I knew it!’ came a distraught whisper from behind us.
It was Jasmine.
Chapter 28
‘Your friend’s here,’ Tom said the following evening when I went to relieve his shift. I followed his gaze to Stewart, sitting at his usual table examining the menu.
‘Again? That’s the third time this week.’
‘He is in more and more these days, isn’t he?’
‘Must be a fan of Deano’s cooking.’
‘Hmm.’
‘Hmm what?’ I demanded. ‘Come on, you’ve got that face on.’
‘Well, who’s that big on medieval cuisine?’ Tom said. ‘We’re a novelty night out, sis. Once a month at best.’
‘What’re you getting at?’
‘Just a theory I’ve got. I’ll tell you another time.’ He nudged me. ‘Take his order then.’
‘Can’t you do it?’
‘Nope.’ Tom yanked his daft feathered hat off. ‘As of right now I’m on my break. Off you go.’
I sighed and made my way to Stewart’s table.
‘So, is it true?’ he asked when I reached him.
‘Is what true?’
‘What Deano told me when I bumped into him this morning.’
My stomach tightened. Not that it wasn’t complete bollocks, obviously, but if Deano had told Stewart I was in love with him… he wouldn’t do that to me, would he? He wasn’t exactly a dab hand at judging the appropriate boundaries of social interaction.
‘Well?’ Stewart said. ‘Did we get it?’
I breathed a sigh of relief. The Tour. It was just the Tour.
‘Yeah, we got it,’ I said. ‘Thanks to one enormous arse.’
‘Six, technically.’
‘I stand by my original statement.’ I flashed him a grudging smile. ‘Still… not that it wasn’t a gamble, but I’m sorry I snapped at you. I was a bit tense yesterday, you probably noticed.’
He looked taken aback. ‘Wait. Did you just admit I was right about something?’
‘Very nearly.’
‘And that consequently, you, Lana Donati, must’ve been – I think the word is, “wrong”?’
‘All right, all right. Don’t gloat or I’ll take it back.’
‘Nuh-uh, no take-backsies. You said it and it’s forever engraved on my heart.’ He patted the seat next to him. ‘Fancy joining me for a bit?’
I sighed. Apart from one elderly couple, he was the only customer. I’d been avoiding him a bit lately, after my heart-to-heart with Sue… still, he did seem inviting when he was being all smiley and funny.
‘Ok, since you did so well flirting with Mrs Santa Claus yesterday,’ I said, sitting down. ‘Five minutes then I have to get back to work.’
‘You’re not really still mad at me, are you?’ he asked with a winning smile.
‘Little bit.’ I grinned. ‘But it was bloody funny.’
‘I am widely acknowledged to be the master of the prop gag.’ He handed me his goblet of wine. ‘Here you go. This’ll get me into your good books.’
I took a sip. I really shouldn’t while I was working, but…
‘Admit it,’ Stewart said. ‘Sometimes you think I’m all right. Sometimes you’re even quite fond of me.’
‘Ok, I admit it,’ I said, smiling. ‘But only sometimes.’
‘Ah, there’s the old Lana. Was starting to think you’d forgotten how to smile.’
‘I smile.’
‘Not as much as you used to,’ he said. ‘What happened to you, kid? When we met you laughed all the time. Now you’re nearly always on edge.’
He reached over to cover my hand.
‘You know what happened to me. A year of caring for a sick man happened. Watching him hurt and not being able to do anything about it. Knowing what was waiting at the end. It… changes you.’
‘I know.’ He sighed. ‘Lana…’
‘Hmm?’
‘I wanted to… I mean, last year. Pagans’ Rock.’
Ugh. And we’d been getting along so well.
‘I told you, forget about it. I have.’
‘Come on. We both know that isn’t true.’
I pulled my fingers away from his touch, annoyed by the self-assurance in his tone.
‘You really think I’ve spent the last year and a bit pining over bloody Stewart McLean?’ I snapped. ‘It was one date, that’s all. Not true love.’
‘No! That’s not what I meant at all.’ He pushed his fingers into his hair. ‘God, you’re hard to talk to when you get like this.’
‘And you don’t half think a lot of yourself.’ I pushed back my chair. ‘I need to get back to work.’
‘Lana, I’m trying to tell you something here. Can you cut the wounded pride act and just listen a sec?’
‘Fine.’ I sat back. ‘One minute then I have to go.’
‘I meant to call you, ok? Honestly.’
‘So you said. But something came up, right?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Like the fact I wouldn’t go to bed with you?’
He shook his head. ‘You can’t really think that was it. You know me.’
‘What then? Was it Dad? That I was so committed to his care I might not have time to do the boyfriend thing properly?’
‘What? No! Lana, come on.’ He took my hand again and gave my fingers an impatient squeeze. ‘It was the accident, ok?’
‘It was a year, Stew. Accidents don’t last a year. And I was… there were other things going on that made it worse.’ That was the closest I’d ever come to admitting to him just how much he’d hurt me.
‘I know,’ he said, his head drooping slightly. ‘I was a mess too. Afterwards, I mean.’
His face contorted with a spasm of pain as he went through it again in his memory.
‘What happened?’ I asked in a gentler voice.
‘I was training. Came off my bike going over a cattle grid. Head-first into a puddle.’ He laughed bleakly. ‘It was actually sort of comical, me sitting there with mud all over my face while a puzzled sheep blinked at me. Didn’t realise at the time I’d just ruined my life.’
‘Did it hurt a lot?’
‘That’s the thing. There was a twinge, and I knew I’d twisted my knee, but it wasn’t agony. I even finished my ride. It was only when I saw my physio next day, the look in her eyes, that I realised it was bad. And then she said the words all athletes have nightmares about.’
‘What words?’
‘“This doesn’t look good.” Everyone knows what that means.’ He shook his head. ‘When I found out I had to quit for good… Jesus. The bottom just dropped out of my world.’
His features twitched as he stared down into his wine.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said, forgetting about everything except that he was so obviously in pain. I pressed his hand gently. ‘You’ve had a tough time of it, haven’t you?’
‘So’ve you.’
Tom appeared at foot of the stairs, scanning the restaurant for me. I yanked my fingers away from Stewart’s before he noticed.
‘Um, guys,’ Tom said when he reached our table, his voice radiating anxiety. ‘News.’
I frowned. ‘Bad?’
‘Well it’s not good.’ He passed me his mobile.
On screen was our local paper’s website, a new story added that afternoon. The headline was Tour de Farce, emblazoned over a big photo of Stewart’s ridiculous bike racks.
‘I don’t know who sent it but they’ve obviously got it in for us,’ Tom said.
I skimmed the article. ‘Bringing the area into disrepute. Juvenile… oh for fuck’s sake! All that’s missing is “won’t somebody
think of the children?”’ My brow lowered. ‘Sienna Edge. Her and her cronies’ll be behind this.’
Stewart took the phone so he could have a read.
‘Hmm. Probably true. She seems to have it in for me particularly.’
I glared at him. ‘I told you it was a stupid thing to do.’
‘Doesn’t matter now though, does it?’ Tom said. ‘Vanessa Christmas liked them, that’s the main thing.’
‘It might matter to the council. You know how they are about bad publicity, and we haven’t got our grant yet.’ I shook my head at Stewart. ‘For God’s sake, Stew! What the hell were you thinking?’
His eyebrows shot up. ‘Me? Ten minutes ago you were saying what a great idea it’d turned out to be!’
‘That was then. This is now.’
‘It’s not my fault, is it?’
‘Yes it’s your fault! You can’t keep going behind the backs of the committee with stuff like this.’
‘Come on, sis, that’s a bit harsh,’ Tom said. ‘It did get us the route.’
‘Let’s just hope it hasn’t cost us our grant, that’s all,’ I muttered darkly. ‘Without the viaduct open in time, we’re screwed.’
‘Lana, please,’ Stewart said. ‘I’m sorry, ok? You know I didn’t mean to – ’
‘You didn’t mean to. Right,’ I snapped. ‘You never mean to do anything, do you, Stew? It just happens. Maybe one day you’ll be a big enough boy to understand actions always have consequences.’ I glanced at the door. ‘Jasmine’s here, I’m taking my break. Tommy, I’ll see you upstairs.’
I went to speak to Jasmine by the counter.
‘I’m knocking off for an hour. Can you handle things down here for a bit?’
‘I’ll be fine.’
I couldn’t help noticing the way she avoided eye contact.
‘Jaz… we’re still friends, aren’t we?’
‘Why wouldn’t we be?’
‘Look, about yesterday, there wasn’t anything – me and Deano were just messing about. I didn’t know you were there.’
‘Clearly. I don’t want to talk about it, ok? I’m going to get changed.’ And she stomped off to the Ladies.
I sighed and headed upstairs, where I found Tom on the sofa. He looked a bit down.
A Bicycle Made For Two Page 22
