What she’d done last night had been on her terms. She’d held him down by the wrists, but with the trust that he wouldn’t overpower her. That was her way of allowing herself to have sex again.
Footsteps sounded, coming up the staircase, and he imagined Felicity heading to Scott’s room, but the knock sounded at his door. He walked to it and opened it, finding Shayla standing in the doorway, makeup off, her leggings and T-shirt on, just like he’d known her for weeks now.
“Hey,” she said quietly.
“Hey,” he said, seeing her in a completely different light.
“I heard the limo pull up a while ago. I thought you’d already be changed for bed.”
“Yeah, I was just getting ready to.”
She nodded, glancing behind him to his room. He suddenly remembered Sam’s picture lying on his bed. He’d never put it away. He turned back toward her, blocking the way in by resting his hand on the doorframe.
She furrowed her brow. “Do you have someone in there?”
“No, of course not,” he said, meeting her gaze, imagining someone shoving her against the wall and then holding her down on the ground. He shuddered, physically.
Her frown deepened, and she backed up a step. “So, I wanted to come and apologize about last night.”
He shook his head automatically. “No, I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry about?” she asked.
“For what I said to you earlier today. I had it all wrong.”
She studied his face. “No you didn’t. I was pretty much a bully. You wanted more and you deserved more. You still deserve more.” She looked contrite, and he wanted to punch himself in the nose for getting all of this wrong with her. She pointed to his room. “Can we go inside to talk?”
He turned around again, eyeing the picture on the bed. He couldn’t share Sam with her now. This timing was all wrong. Not on this already stressful wedding weekend. Not with Scott down the hall and Felicity downstairs. Not with him just now understanding what she’d been through.
He met her gaze wordlessly, the hurt in her eyes becoming palpable. She turned around. “That’s fine. We’ll just talk later.” She walked away.
“Wait,” he said, lunging for her, grabbing her by the arm, and then letting go like he’d stung himself on a hot burner.
She stopped and looked down at her arm and then up at him. “What is wrong with you tonight?”
He stepped back. “Nothing, I just, I’m so sorry, Shayla.”
Her expression went cold as she glanced at the room Scott was staying in, and then back at him. “You’ve been talking about me.”
He started to shake his head, but it was a lie and he was sure it showed all over his face. She headed down the stairs, and he followed her into the kitchen. “Wait,” he said.
She kept walking out the door. “I’m such an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot.”
She opened the door to the pool house and then tried to shut it in his face but he stood his ground. She walked away from him, to the far side of the room. “That was my story to tell, not something for the two of you to gossip about behind my back.”
He shut the door, and then turned to her. “It wasn’t gossip.”
“Then what was it? And what was that upstairs with your room, by the way? Are we only allowed to cuddle here in the pool house where you don’t have to share any other parts of you?”
“That’s not fair, Shayla.”
“Then what’s up? Is there some reason you can’t let me into your room?”
He rubbed his forehead, not ready for this, not now. “It’s just, I was worried my sheets were dirty.”
She put her hands on her hips. “The cleaning crew was here earlier. This whole place is immaculate.”
“I forgot.” He stared at her beautiful body, imagining that asshole grabbing her and forcing himself into her. His stomach fumed like liquid nitrogen.
“Stop that. Stop looking at me like that,” she said.
“How am I looking at you?”
“Like I’m some fragile flower that you can’t touch.”
He looked away. “That’s not what I was doing.”
She took a few steps toward him. “Yes you were.”
He met her gaze, and then looked away again, wishing he had a manual that told him the right things to say and do.
“What is this? You can’t even look at me now?”
He met her gaze, his neck hot. “Of course I can look at you.”
She stared at him, and then huffed a laugh, shaking her head. “This is exactly why I didn’t want you to know about any of this. The way you’re acting right now. This was exactly what I was trying to avoid.”
“I can’t help it. I don’t know what I’m doing here.”
She tossed up her hands. “You think I’m some kind of expert?”
His frustration hit a boiling point. “I’m sick over it. I’ve been sick over it, but I haven’t said anything about it because I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I’m out of my mind here, Shayla, thinking about what you went through, worried that if I touch you it’s going to be the wrong way. Then last night, it was finally happening, but I wasn’t allowed to touch you, when it’s all I’ve thought about doing for a month now, and I said all that to you earlier today because my ego couldn’t take the fact that you’d gotten yourself off pretty much completely without my help, and then tonight, when I saw you looking the way you did, it was like you were a totally different person, and I almost forgot for a minute that…”
“Forgot what, Chase? Forgot that I was what?” She glared at him so hard his pupils hurt.
He scratched his forehead, his heartbeat pounding.
She got up in his face, stabbing a finger at him. “I’m not a goddamned victim.”
He held her stare, his body trembling.
She took a step back from him, her gaze not leaving his, and then peeled her pants down her legs, stepping out of them. She pulled her shirt off and stood there in front of him, completely bare to him. She held her arms out to the sides. “Do you see any bruises on me? Any scars? I’m not frail or weak.”
He swallowed hard, shaking his head. “No.”
She stepped toward him, her gaze locked on his. She picked up his hands and placed them on her hips, and guiding them over her thighs and up the curve of her ass. She pressed her body against his, his cock coming to attention. She ran her hands up his chest and to either side of his face, her fingers threading through his hair. “Keep your promises. Make me feel sinful.”
Chapter Nineteen
Something changed in Chase’s eyes, and Shayla knew she needed to buckle up. She’d asked for this from him, insisted on it, and there was no backing down now.
He wrapped her leg around his, taking her down to the bed, his big body hovering over hers, face to face with her. He stood up and unbuttoned his shirt, while she scooted up on the bed and then lay back on her elbows, not wanting to miss the show.
He pulled back his belt and undid his pants, his cock springing out as they fell to the floor. He climbed on top of her, his knees between her legs, forcing them apart. He leaned down and opened her mouth with his, and her legs wrapped around him in response as he kissed her like she’d been dreaming of being kissed by him for weeks.
He moved on top of her, his cock flirting with her thigh and her belly. He was a big guy, in all ways, lucky for her. He kissed down her neck and over to her shoulder as he collapsed on top of her, rolling onto his side and taking her with him. She wrapped her leg around him and lay back again, her arm over her head, leaving her breast exposed to him. He took his time, trailing kisses over her chest, between her breasts and down to her stomach. Teasing her as he bypassed her breasts, he brought his hand up to cup one, and then finally took it into his mouth. She exhaled a breath, realizing she’d been holding it for a while, his touch on her body like water after a marathon.
His hand left her breast and moved lower, rounding her hip to her be
hind, and then over to her thigh. Her whole body thudded with anticipation as she silently begged him to touch her, squeezing him to her with her leg. His hand finally made its way to her warmth, and she gripped his shoulder as he teased her.
He slid down her body, spreading her legs as he positioned himself in front of her. She set her feet flat on the bed and moved to his mouth as he took her in. She gripped his arms as the sensations flew through her body like a hurricane.
“Chase,” she whispered, because she wanted to say his name. He was the man her heart had been begging for every day and every night as he lay next to her in bed, his arm slung over her in the middle of the night.
He let out a hard breath as she gripped his arms and let herself go with moans, begging for him not to stop. It’d been so long since she’d wanted to be vocal during sex. But she wanted him to know what he was doing to her, and she also wanted to make sure he kept on doing exactly what he’d been doing, because he was doing it really right.
Her back arched off the bed, and then she fell backward as the release flowed through her body to him.
She rested back on the bed, her arms over her head as he kissed his way back up her body, slowly. She met his gaze, her hands rounding his back. “Come here,” she said.
He moved to kiss her, but she guided him up farther, her hands sliding down to his ass. She pushed him up her body, sliding down between his legs, and then took him into her mouth. He inhaled a sharp breath as she moved up and down on him until she settled back, guiding him with her hands on his ass. He pulled away. “That feels too damn good.”
“Then let’s not stop,” she said. “We’ve got time for more later.”
“I want inside you now,” he said.
She moved back up on the bed and reached over to her drawer, pulling out a row of condoms and handing them to him. He ripped one off and readied himself.
He stopped and met her gaze, moving her hair out of her face. “I’m so lucky.”
She smiled, wordlessly. He sometimes knew the perfect thing to say.
As he pushed inside of her, she squeezed him with her thighs, the initial pain of his substantial girth turning quickly to pleasure. He dropped down to his elbows, propping himself up as he found a rhythm. Everything about him was right. Nothing he did felt wrong or bred any fear in her. She felt herself tensing for just a moment, and then released that tension, relaxing into the movements of this man she trusted with her body, and possibly with her heart.
She lay under him, letting him fill her up, the movement inside of her feeling so good she could let him do it all night. But she knew he hadn’t had a release yet and she had, so it was time to set him free.
“Go ahead when you’re ready,” she said.
“Are you sure?” he asked, looking concerned.
She gave him a reassuring smile. “I’m positive.”
He moved faster, and then finally collapsed down onto her, their chests melding together into one, the heat and dampness lying between them. “I’m sorry,” he said into her neck. “I didn’t last as long as I should have. I’m out of practice.”
She smiled, those words not so bad to hear. “You did good. You’re a lot of man. I couldn’t take you for much longer.”
He propped himself up, facing her with a grin. “You’re a good liar.”
“I’m serious,” she said. “You feel really good inside of me.”
He kissed her and then pulled back to look at her again. “You have no idea.” He kissed her again. “I’ll be right back.”
His long, lean body made for delicious eye candy as he walked to the bathroom. She rolled over onto her side, waiting for him.
Walking back toward her, she admired his frame, not too buff which was fine with her—she’d had enough of buff—but in good shape. He hopped into bed beside her and lay on his back staring at the ceiling. She ran her hand over his stomach and up his chest to his bicep. “You’ve got an attractive body.” He flexed his muscle, and she ran her hand over it. It was bigger than she’d thought it’d be. “Nice,” she said.
“I’m not ripped like your brother.”
She winced. “You can’t talk about my brother while we’re naked.”
“Sorry.”
“So what was that talk about being out of practice?” she asked.
He put his arms behind his head. “It’s been a while.”
“How long’s a while?” she asked. “Couple of days, couple of weeks?”
He gave her a look. “Couple of days? I’ve been in bed with you for the past two weeks.”
She smiled at him. “I don’t know what you do with your days.”
He cut his eyes at her and then looked at the ceiling. “A few months.”
“Since Felicity?”
He closed his eyes tightly. “Can we not talk about that?”
“I don’t want to talk about you and Felicity. I’m just asking if she’s the last person you slept with.”
“Yeah.” He turned to her. “Does that kill my reputation?”
“How long had it been before her?”
He squirmed. “I don’t know.”
“Yeah you do.”
“A few months. I’ve been busy at work. I’ve been spending a lot of time with Seanna and Blake. That’s a libido kill if there ever was one, watching the two of them be madly in love. Makes me want to eat whoopie pies and watch game shows or something.”
She traced the hairs on his belly south and back up his chest again. “When you sleep with girls you don’t know, do you use a condom?”
“I used one with you, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, but I used one last night. I assume you were following my lead.”
“I haven’t had sex without a condom since I was married. I’ve damn near forgotten what it feels like.”
She stilled. “Are you serious?”
He met her gaze. “Yeah. Why?”
“Every single time? You’ve never slipped up?”
“Hell no. I had a friend who was diagnosed with AIDS. He cheated on his wife. We were all friends. Scared the shit out of me. I was with this one woman a few years ago. I went to put the condom on and she told me not to. Said she didn’t like the way they felt. I got up right then.”
“You left?” she asked.
“Hell yeah. That shit’s nothing to play with.”
“Have you ever been tested?”
“I get tested every six months. It’s on my calendar perpetually.”
She lay back, relieved.
“What about you?” he asked.
“I hadn’t in years, but I did when I got back here to PCB a couple of months ago. I didn’t think I had a reason to, but I just felt dirty all over. I don’t know, I just wanted to be told I was clean, in some way. Now that I think about it, that’s probably why I was always cleaning my brother’s house.”
He reached over and ran his hand across her belly, lovingly.
“I haven’t really slept around since college and my early twenties. I’m usually in a relationship,” she said.
“I bet you are. I can see where a guy wouldn’t want to let you go.”
A younger, more naïve version of her would take his words to heart, but he was talking in the abstract, as much as she realized she wished he wasn’t. She wondered about his last relationship. “Does your ex-wife live here in town?”
“No, she’s in San Antonio. That’s where we met and lived.”
“Is that where you grew up?”
“Partially. We moved there when I was twelve.”
“From where?”
“Hawaii.”
She furrowed her brow a little. “So, are you…”
“Polynesian?”
She gave a guilty smile. “Yeah.”
“Partially. My grandmother was, but she was married to a white man. Both my grandparents on my dad’s side were Irish, so I guess I’m more that than anything, despite the way I look. It’s tough to put my family in a neat box when it comes to our heritage.”
“So you lived in Hawaii?”
“Till I was twelve, yeah. My parents met at work. They were both stationed at Hickam Air Force Base.”
“You’re a military brat?” she asked.
He shrugged. “I’ve been called worse.”
“So how did you get here?”
“When we divorced, I was looking for a change. My middle brother was based at Eglin so I moved to Fort Walton. I was in real estate, and the idea of coming to this area seemed to make sense. I was in town about five minutes before I heard about 30A and came over for a visit. Seemed like as good a place as any to start over.”
She huffed a laugh. “I don’t know why, but I just assumed you’d grown up here. You seem so much like a local.”
“Good. I hope I do.” He smiled at her.
“So do people here know you were married?” she asked.
“Nah. I wouldn’t deny it, but I don’t like to talk about it. My brother knows, of course. He’s in Destin now. He’s out of the military. Wasn’t for him, to my father’s disappointment. He’s the only one of the three of us who even tried.”
“Are you close with your brother?”
He shrugged. “We used to try to have dinner once every month or so. That’s turned into six months. I need to reach out more, I guess.”
“Any nieces or nephews yet?” she asked.
“No, neither of my brothers have settled with anyone yet, not that seriously.”
“Is that something you want, a family?”
He rolled over onto his back, crossing his arms over his chest, closing himself off to her, and she knew whatever fantasies she’d been kicking around in her brain about a life with him were just that, fantasies.
“No, not really.”
She nodded, her heart heavy with disappointment. She was thirty-six years old. If she wanted to have a family, it was time to get started.
Chase looked at her. “Do you want that?”
Seagrove Secrets (Love Along Hwy 30A) Page 20
