by Nana Malone
She chewed her bottom lip. “I know. I sound like I’m suffering the same delusions that he was. I know there is a risk of a hereditary link. But I get myself checked once a year. And I think I’m ok.”
My gut curled in on itself. I had to fucking tell her. You can’t. You are under orders. I hated that she thought she was ill for following her hunch.
"First I was followed, and then someone tried to grab me at the gala. What if all this time, my father wasn’t ill and no one believed him? What if I should have believed him?” A tear escaped and rolled down her cheek.
I tugged her close and held her to me. “Hey, it’s okay. You had a rough go. We don’t know anything for sure yet. And look, even if he had a reason to believe you were in danger,” which he did you twat, “from the sounds of it, that might have fed into his disorder. And you can’t know that for sure. If you want to chase this theory to see if it leads down the rabbit hole, then let’s back it up to before anything happened. Let’s look at the tattoos.”
She swiped at her tears again. “You keep saying we.”
I sure as hell wasn’t letting her do anything alone. But also, I wanted to help her. It was about more than just keeping her safe. I wanted her to have a little peace. “Yeah, we. Look, I don’t have all the answers about last night. But I like you, despite you giving me a hard time.”
“What?” He eyes went wide. “You turned up and started to try to steal my clients.”
I rolled my eyes. “I was assigned.”
“You also hoisted me over your shoulder like some kind of tart.”
I shouldn’t have laughed, but I did. “You were the one wearing no knickers.”
“I swear to God I will kill—”
I kissed her to stop her. “I know, you’ll kill me. I look forward to all the ways you’ll try. But the point is you’re smart. A little brazen, fun. Funny. And you keep me on my toes. You also have this soft center that you’re terrified to let anyone see. You’re kind. And I like you, genuinely, as a person. Also, I’m addicted to shagging you. That sound you make when you’re about to come… the breathy one… I could die hearing that sound and I’d be happy.”
She stared at me. It looked like she was contemplating whether to hit me or not. Instead, true to form, she said something cheeky. “You’ve gone ahead and fallen in love with me, haven’t you? I’ve got the magic snatch.”
It took me three beats to process the words before a laugh cracked me open. “Lord, woman.”
She grinned, then shrugged. “I like you too. But I’m going to warn you, I have zero idea how to do this. I’ve never had a relationship before. I’m probably not good at it.”
I pulled her to me and kissed her softly. “We can take a day at a time. Why don’t we start with looking at the sketches since they are important to you? Then I’ll make you something to eat. And then maybe we can shag in the shower?”
“Seriously, how can you even go again?”
“It’s your fault. I just look at your lips and then envision all that you could do with them and boom… instant hard on.”
Jessa shook her head. “How do you feel about shagging a woman with a shower cap on? I have so much hair it’ll take hours to dry and straighten if I get it wet.”
“You’ll soon learn I’ll take you any way I can get you.”
She pulled her hair back into a bun, then wrapped the sheet around her as she padded into the living room for her laptop. When she returned with it, she pulled up the sketches.
As I flipped through each one, I masked my expression. The arm tattoos were all too familiar. My former partner had had one just like it. As had Robert Sandstorm, the traitor who had conspired to kill the king.
I cleared my throat. “So that looks like a crest? With a dagger or a knife?"
She nodded. "Yeah. I don't think I’ve ever seen a tattoo like that. I took it to a tattoo parlor recommended by a friend, and they’re looking to see if they can track it down.”
Fuck me, I’d been sent to protect her, and she’d still unwittingly stumbled into a royal conspiracy. Shit job of protection I was doing. “Okay, so you want to ask James if he’s seen the tattoos?”
“Yes. And if he recognizes anyone in the images. And well… I’ve been avoiding him since Dad died. I feel guilty for not looking after him better.”
“Jessa, you can’t do that to yourself. Your father was ill. And you took care of him the best you could. You shouldn’t blame yourself for anything.”
She nodded against my hand. “It’s just hard. And hey, you called me Jessa.”
I frowned. “Did I?”
“Is it weird that I think I prefer princess?”
I leaned forward and kissed her softly. "Then princess you shall be.” She kissed me back. More insistently. “You keep doing that, and I won’t feed you for another few minutes.”
“I’m not that hungry.”
“In that case, let me get one more scream for the road. And then we're going to eat."
I slid my hands into her hair. I couldn't help it. Is this what it had been like for Sebastian? Knowing full well he couldn't tell her the truth but needing her just the same? With another kiss, I lost myself again.
27
Roone…
As it turned out, the countertops in Jessa’s apartment were the perfect height for shagging. We finally managed to cobble together breakfast with some eggs and bacon and toast. But she begged off in the shower to try and get ready. While she did that, I reengaged the cameras. I knew she was safe in her flat, but better safe than sorry. I also knew that I had to check in with Ariel.
When she was out of the shower, I kissed her briefly. "I'm going to grab a quick shower at mine and change clothes, okay? And then we'll go together?"
Her smile was so sweet I almost opted to stay. "Yeah, that's perfect." She stood on her tiptoes and brushed her lips against mine once more. God, every time she did that all I wanted to do was club over the head and drag her somewhere safe and bury myself deep inside her.
What was wrong with me?
I let myself into my apartment. I wasn't the least bit surprised to find Ariel. "The conquering hero returns."
"You realize I could have come in here with Jessa, right?"
She rolled her eyes. "You realize that I can hear everything that goes on in the other apartment through the bug in her purse, right?”
A flush crept up my neck.
“Yeah, I turned off the sound once the two of you started with the, ‘Tell me you want this.’” She shrugged. “Unfortunately, the louder screaming could be heard without the mics. I mean hey, if you’re a stud, you’re a stud.”
Shite. I rolled my eyes. And started yanking off my t-shirt.
“I don’t need the show.”
“Well you’re going to get it. Make it fast. We’re off to meet the director of Hope House.” Quickly I filled her in as I brushed my teeth and grabbed clothes.
“Jesus. This princess just stumbles into clues we need without even looking. While you meet with him, I’m going to place a bug in his car just to see if he has any information.”
I popped in the shower and was out in five. Shoving my feet into shoes, I asked. “About last night. Just how much did you hear?”
“I mean, I turned off the purse mic once I realized you weren’t killing her. With all those ‘Oh my Gods,’ I wasn’t so sure there for a minute.”
“Shut it.”
Ariel just laughed. “I see you got over whatever was mentally blocking you?”
“Stop being a dick.”
“I’m a girl. I can’t be a dick. Generally, people call me a bitch.”
“I’m not calling you a bitch.”
“Good. Because then I’d have to run after you going, ‘Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Roone, Roone, Roone.’”
I tossed my jumper at her. “My God, you might as well be a bloke.”
She laughed. “Hey, you’re the stud. I see once you decide to do something, you really decide to do it.
I mean, hey."
"Glad I can impress. Anything else I need to know?"
She shook her head. "But you're good, though? You're tight?"
"Oh yeah, I’m right as rain. Keeping the truth from her feels completely normal. I assume I’m still not allowed to tell her?”
She shook her head. “Nope.”
“Bullshit. But whatever. I just don’t want her hurt."
"Let's just see what leads we get out of the director."
"Yeah. I'm hoping he's got more information than we do, because right now we've got nothing, or not much of anything."
She nodded. "And just so you know, that smile on your face looks good on you. I hope I see it more often."
I watched her walk out the back door as she dragged the beanie cap over her head.
Jessa…
"James, it's good to see you."
He shook my hand and nodded. "Who's this?"
I swallowed. Why was I so flushed? “This is my, um, friend? Roone?"
James’s brows rose. "You sound like that's a question."
Roone laughed. "I'm working on being her boyfriend. But she's a bit cagey, so we're just going to stay with friend right now."
James laughed. "Good to see you branching out, Jessa."
What was that supposed to mean? "I— He's a friend who's a boy. That's about it." Roone winked at me and took my hand. James seemed happy about that.
"Why don't you guys have a seat."
We were at a little café near the South Bank which was surprisingly difficult to find. It looked like part industrial neighborhood and part gentrified Hipsterville. There were all these little alcoves of men with babies strapped to them and moms with super expensive jogging strollers. But then there were warehouses still scattered among the newer businesses.
Roone glanced around. "The whole place is changing. Every time I come back, it's different than I left it."
James eyed him up and down. "Where'd you grow up?"
"East London, actually. Near Walthamstow."
"Your accent though, that's..."
"Yeah, that's courtesy of Eton."
James’s brows furrowed then. "Okay then. That's fascinating."
I could tell that James was going to do an extensive lookup on Roone later, but whatever. I sat forward.
“We haven’t seen much of you since your father passed, so I was hoping you were well.”
“I—I’m good. Work you know.”
“I see you’re getting a more balanced life. Your father would be happy for you.”
I slid my gaze to Roone, who was giving a rather complex breakfast order. How was the man still hungry? Maybe you wore him out.
Something with egg whites and something called chorizo? I suppose I had branched out a little. Did this count as a date? Hell, this was further than I got with 99 percent of the men I went out with. Not that the pool was large. “I guess I’m starting to.”
James sipped his tea. “We got the sketches. Thank you. Your father was extremely talented.”
I sat up. I hadn’t known how to broach the subject, but this was the perfect opening. “Actually, I wanted to ask if you recognized any of the people in the sketches besides Lulu. I know that he sometimes drew things randomly, but I didn’t know if they maybe were real people at Hope House.”
“Unfortunately, I don't recognize any of them, no.”
I tried not to let my heart sink any further. It wasn’t likely that he would know them. But I couldn’t let it go. “Oh, well. Thank you.”
James’s eyes went soft. “But you know what? You might ask this bloke, Phillip Winchester. He and your dad were close in Uni. I was closer with your mum.”
Roone’s hand tightened on my knee. “Did the tattoos look familiar at all?”
“I’m sorry. I wish I could tell you something. Jessa, you know how ill your father was.”
I, of all people, knew. But after everything that had been happening, I couldn’t ignore what he’d been telling me for years. All I had to do was decipher the clues.
28
Roone…
While Ariel was on Jessa duty tonight, there was someone else I needed to see. I followed the directions Ben had given me to find the bar in Brixton. I still couldn't believe it. Brixton was so gentrified now. There were gastro pubs and microbreweries littered all over the place. What had happened to all the Jamaican rude boys? That could be the title of a song. When I was a kid, Brixton was a rite of passage where you'd find some underground club. The neighborhood had been rougher, but somehow it had felt more like home.
When I walked in, the place was full of hipster types with their beards and ironic T-shirts under suit jackets. It looked like an Instagram stylist had had their way with the whole place. I found Ben in the corner next to the pool table with a pint. He waved me over, and I wandered my way through the crowd until I reached him. "Hey, mate."
"Cousin." He came and around and clapped me on the back. "Jesus, let me look at you. You look great. Island life agreed with you then, yeah?"
"Yeah, it did. Not sure when I’m going back though." Especially not with this new lead on the tattoos.
"So, tell your favorite cousin everything. Like how you got hooked up with the most delectable publicist in London. Seriously mate, I have tried for a year to get her to show interest. East and Bridge too. But nothing. You turn up and she’s looking like she wants to shag you against the wall…then kill you praying mantis style.”
I coughed out a laugh. “Not sure that’s exactly how she was looking at me.”
“Oh, come on. I could feel the tension.” He studied me closer. “But you, you don’t have it anymore.” His mouth fell open. “Aw, mate. You’ve shagged her, haven’t you? Lucky sod. Tell me she was fantastic. Please don't ruin my imagery and tell me she just lay there. Tell me it was at least a wild ride.”
“Piss off, mate.”
He lifted a brow. “Woah. Not just a shag then. All right cousin. So now that you’re in love with your 007 mark, how are you going to pull off your mission?”
I rolled my eyes even as I chuckled. “Who said she’s a mark?”
Ben pointed at me. “It’s what you didn’t say. You’re acting as a publicist now?”
“Excuse me, I’m a consultant.”
“Whatever the fuck that means.” He lowered his voice. “You’re fucking Royal Guard to a king. Not to mention former SAS. Don’t expect me to believe you had a sudden career change.”
“I hate that you pay attention.”
“I’m not daft.”
“You know I can’t tell you what I’m doing, right?”
He nodded. “Yep, I know. Just don’t treat me like an eejit, yeah?” He added, “She’s not in some kind of trouble, is she?”
He actually cared about her? “No. She’s fine.”
“As long as you’re not yanking her about. She’s a nice girl.”
“I’m not. You have my word.” I was just lying to her about what I was doing here. But I was being completely honest about falling for her, so there was that.
"You’re really not going to tell me?”
I shook my head. “Nope.”
“God, you're so boring. I was hoping to get some juicy gossip."
"Mate, you love gossip more than a teenage girl."
Ben just grinned at me. "You know it. Besides, gossip is good for us. It keeps us connected to our community."
I shook my head. "You're a nutter."
"Maybe. But you look happy, though. Just how is the king?"
“You know Sebastian. He’s taken on the weight of the world now.”
"Didn't I hear something about him having a brother?"
Ben was remarkably well-informed. "Yeah, it's a thing. Long story."
"We've got time. Let's get you a pint."
A brunette walked by. She was gorgeous with dark hair and a little edge of crazy about her, and she eyed us up and down. But especially my cousin. Ben grinned right back at her. "Oh, love, did you know they call
me Big Ben?"
She laughed at that. Of course she did. Ben had always had a way with women. He loved all kinds of women. If he had one failing, it would be that. He loved women too much. As if that was a thing, but still.
The woman, however, did not even blink. She just tittered as he flirted. And that was the way with Ben. When she made her way over to her friends, he winked at me. "Always gotta keep the options open, mate."
"It's good to see some things never change."
“So tell me, is my cousin in love?"
It's a distinct possibility.
It wasn't anywhere near a possibility.
You should've thought about that before you touched her.
I shifted uncomfortably and picked up one of the pool cues. "It's complicated."
Ben grinned. "It's never complicated. Women are women. They are designed to bring us to our knees.”
"I'd have to agree with that."
He studied me for a long moment. That was the thing about Ben. He seemed like a playboy, always joking. Always there with a laugh. But there was something shrewd about him. He was hyper aware of other people. Honestly, that's why people loved him so much. He was a natural born leader. People wanted to listen to him. Because around him, they felt seen. "Look, I don't know Jessa that well. But I do know you. And I know how you looked at her. If you're into her, I wouldn't let that one go. That would be stupid."
"This from the bloke who changes women as often as he changes kleenex?"
"Ah, you wound me, cousin. Let's just say this is coming from a bloke who knows that when someone twists you up like that, when you're borderline obsessed with them, you probably shouldn't let them go."
"Okay, I'll take that under advisement."
He shrugged. "Well, it's good to have you home however long. Make sure I actually get to see you again."
"Yeah, I'll make sure I arrange that."
Ben nodded solemnly. "You know, for what it's worth, I have someone go out to your mom's gravesite periodically and clean it up and leave fresh flowers."
I blinked at him. "Why?"
