“Oh man,” Hawes says, “Aspen, your pheromones are really something else. I really think they’re getting worse.”
“Maybe,” I say. “But you’ll all just have a few more weeks to wait.”
“Right,” Lindon says doubtfully, exchanging a cryptic look with Hawes. “Anyway, Aspen, I guess we’ll leave you two alone.” He gives us a wave. “Bye Rafe.”
Rafe growls in response but the two just laugh and high five and go inside.
But Hawes sticks his head back out at the last minute. “Oh, and Aspen, I’ll be back later. For you to, you know, show your gratitude…” he winks at me and disappears, and Rafe’s low, pissed off growl turns into a much more threatening one.
I turn my attention back to him, back to the mussed, silky black hair, the blue eyes, the stubborn jaw. The huge, cut body with the slim hips and longs legs.
What do do now?
Chapter 6
Rafe eyes me skeptically. “You are going to let me go, right?” He tests the ropes again. “I’ll let you draw me either way.”
“Will you really?” I ask playfully. “Or are you just saying that so I’ll let you out?”
“You figure it out,” he says scornfully. “I can’t believe you asked them to do this.”
“I didn’t,” I say, standing slowly and putting my sketchbook on the ground next to my chair. “But I can’t say I’m displeased that they did.” I sidle over to him, letting my hips sway, enjoying the anger in his eyes turning to something else as he watches me approach. I reach for the hem of his shirt and he raises an eyebrow at me, almost daring me to do it.
“Aspen…” he says, looking down at my hand doubtfully. “What are you doing?”
I lift the shirt up, baring his abdomen to my gaze. Beautiful, tight abs I could run my hands over. Very defined. “Just checking out my model,” I say. I hold the shirt up above his chest with one hand, and use the other to feel him out. Touching his firm pecs, ignoring his quick inhale of breath in shock, and running my fingers down over the bumps of his abs.
“Aspen, wait a minute…” he says, voice hoarse. Pheromones are in the air again, and, unable to resist him, I sit on his lap.
“Hold still,” I say. “I’m not done.”
He blinks and I stare right into his eyes. Deep blue, but more vulnerable than I’ve seen them. This is the first time I’ve truly felt like I was in control with the big, bad future alpha. There’s nothing of his pack talk or his responsibilities toward everyone now.
Just a hot man, helpless beneath me, bared to my gaze. I’m straddling his lap, can feel his hips beneath mine, feel a growing excitement. One that’s rising in me as well.
“Didn’t you want to draw me?” he asks, voice husky and raw.
I run a hand over his stark cheekbones, loving the feel of the familiar curves and angles of his face. I’m so gone for this man. I just try to forget that sometimes.
But I can’t right now, with his body beneath me, strong thighs easily bearing my weight, curious eyes looking into mine, hands struggling to get out of his bonds so he can touch me back.
“Let me go,” he says. “So I can touch you.”
“Maybe I don’t want you to touch me,” I say. “Maybe I want to be able to touch you and know that no matter what, it won’t go farther than I want it to. Maybe that’s safer.”
“Maybe that’s less safe,” he grates out. “Because my pheromones are going to make you want me and I want have my hands free to stop you from getting carried away.”
“I don’t need you to save me right now, Rafe.” I run a hand through his hair. It’s luxuriously soft and thick. How many times as a teenaged wolf did I think of something like this. Think of him at my mercy, letting me touch him, do whatever I want to him, without being able to stop me at all? I guess I should have known I was really a future alpha female then, not just a default one.
“What are you thinking right now?” he asks.
“Just that I think I’ve wanted to do this for longer than I would like to admit.”
He frowns. “If I had known, I would have let you tie me up before. If it would have made you feel safe.”
“I don’t know why it does,” I say. “I guess I know you wouldn’t lose control with me. But I didn’t think you would ever submit to me.”
“It’s no fun to be alpha all the time,” he says, flashing a grin. “I’m okay with switching it up.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, well for a few seconds. Then I’d probably want to top you again.” His blue eyes are glowing now.
“Well, you’re probably going to stay tied up then,” I say.
“Darn it.”
I pull his shirt back down and lean more against him, grinding my hips in against his, loving the rush of pleasure that happens when I do.
He groans. “Aspen, you’re driving me crazy.” His powerful shoulders strain at the rope. Sitting in front of me like this, he’s some kind of fantasy, one I don’t want to end.
“I…I don’t want to sketch you anymore,” I say, reaching for the button of his jeans, playing with it with avid fingers.
“I guessed as much.” He closes his eyes as I rock against him again, then groans in reluctance. “Look, Aspen, it’s just the pheromones, you aren’t yourself. Just untie me and I’ll slow things down.” He smiles wryly. “Save you from yourself.”
I raise an eyebrow at him. He’s wrong if he thinks it’s only the pheromones making me do this, though of course they play a role in things. “What if I don’t want to be saved?”
His brow wrinkles in confusion and he shakes his head. Trying to pull away from me, even as he’s tied. “Then I would probably save you anyway. You’re in touch with your wolf right now, but I wouldn’t want the human part of you to be hurt.”
His words ruin the mood. I can’t be spontaneous and in touch with my wolf if he’s sitting there talking. Why can’t he just run with things? “Are you sure you’re not just trying to get out of those ropes because you hate not being in control?”
He shakes his head. “If I knew all of you was in agreement with this, I wouldn’t have a problem with it. I mean, I do feel weak like this, but if you don’t see me like that, then I would try to adjust.”
“That’s nice of you,” I say, still a little disappointed that the momentum was stopped.
“I want you to be happy,” he says. “And now that you’ve said that a rational choice is what you’re wanting in picking a mate, I want you to make one.”
I shake my head and start to work on undoing his ropes. “I thought you wanted to win.”
“It’s not a win if you aren’t happy,” he says.
My heart warms a little at that, but I’m kind of disappointed that he didn’t just let me take him right there. That he didn’t run with it or try to seduce me like the other wolves have.
When I finish untying him, he stands, rubbing his wrists, and rising high above me. I shrug at him, pushing away an unexplainable sadness, but before I can turn away, he puts a hand on my shoulder.
“Thanks for that,” he says, turning me to face him. He’s tall and in charge again. The one who never loses control, unlike poor me. I’m the one who wants him in a way that’s almost uncontrollable, and he’s the one distant enough from the situation that he can save me from my own want. When I can’t.
“No problem,” I choke out, not wanting to look in his eyes. It’s kind of like jumping into cold water. I didn’t want someone to explain the dangers or tell me to go slow, I just wanted to jump in and regret it later. After all, once Rafe and I were mated, perhaps he’d come to love me then. And at least I’d have him.
Then I shake my head. Rafe is right, the wolf in me was too much in charge, not listening to the part of me that still isn’t sure Rafe will ever love me. Why did I ever have to be so much in touch with my human anyway?
Without warning, Rafe pulls me forward and leans down to take my lips in a gentle kiss. A breeze blows cool, early fall air all around us as I
revel in the warm feel of his lips. The calm there. It feels like another world from the one I was in when I was on his lap, just wishing to take him right there. And this world is magical.
I feel like I can see another world again, one with starlight and forests, one where Rafe and I are standing together by a lake, in wolf form, watching the moon. One full of peace, love and affection. But it’s all just a fantasy, just something concocted by my mind as he gives me the romantic kiss I’ve always wanted.
I wrap my arms around his waist and let myself get caught up in the moment. His lips are perfectly fit to mine, like they’ve always belonged there. The human in me is so pleased with him, for stopping Hawthorne, for stopping Lindon, and for stopping even me when he was tied to the chair.
I love him, I love him. It’s a thought I haven’t had with any of the others, no matter how heated their kisses or caresses were. And I swear I can feel his affection as well in the gentle way he’s loving me now, but I know that’s probably just wishful thinking on my part.
The kiss goes on and on, and he keeps his hands gentle on my arms. I can feel our breath mingling, smell the leafy, pumpkin spice air as it mingles with our scents. His is woodsy and spicy, mine is cool and sweet. I wrap my arms tighter, pulling him closer, trying to tell him how lost I feel at this moment, with three weeks to make a lifetime decision, three weeks to try and feel the way about the others the way I feel about him, or to convince myself of something I’ve never believed.
That Rafe loves me.
Even now, I could attribute all of this to his natural gentleness, caring, protectiveness. But I won’t. I’ll just let him kiss me for now.
When he finally pulls back, there’s an odd, unfamiliar look in his eyes. He searches my face, almost desperately, as if he’s just learned something important. “Aspen, you know you aren’t just a pack member to me, right?”
I shake my head. “No, I don’t know that.”
“You’ve always been more,” he says. “I’ve always seen you as more than the others.”
“Always, or just after Ava died?” I ask, feeling bad for the accusatory tone of my voice.
He flinches but recovers quickly. “No, in general.”
“Why?”
“I just knew,” he says, and my heart wells with hope, wanting him to just find the words that can make me believe him. I know it’s unfair to put it all on him, but I just can’t believe it all on my own. I’ve never thought myself special enough.
“Knew what?”
“That you were going to be my alpha female.”
My hopes deflate like a balloon. So we’re back to being here. “But what about when I left? Didn’t you give up then?” If he didn’t, was there any point to leaving?
“No. Didn’t you see the way your room was decorated?” he asks. “I was always planning for you to come back. I didn’t know if it would be back to me or just back, but I think a part of me always hoped.”
“Why didn’t you say so when I was first back?”
“And chase you away again?”
“Right,” I say. “That makes sense.” I sit back down on the lawn chair, feeling dizzy. I’m tired of going back and forth. Trying to consider other suitors, trying to get the right words out of him. Maybe I really should just give in. But then, wouldn’t everything up to this point be for nothing?
If I told him I needed him to love me, he’d tell me he did. But would he ever understand what I really meant by that? I grab my sketchbook again. “Rafe, I need some time alone.”
He nods and folds his arms. He looks cold now that we’ve pulled apart and the wind is beginning to pick up. The trees around the house are whistling and leaves are coming loose on the breeze. “Don’t stay out here too long,” he says. “Did you still want to draw me?”
“Maybe another time,” I say, facing the paper. “I just need to be alone right now.”
“Right,” he says, walking back toward the house. he turns at the last second, as usual. “But Aspen?”
“Yes?”
“I don’t know what you’re waiting for from me, but I promise, I’m going to find out what it is, and I’m going to give it to you.”
I gulp at that, not sure how to reply.
“And when I do, you’ll be mine.” His handsome face is sure and resolute, and warmth and anticipation and nervousness mingle in me as I realize I believe him.
I nod mutely, and he leaves to go back inside.
I tap my pencil on the paper, but for the life of me, I can’t think of anything to draw. A few moments go by, and the air gets colder, and all I can remember are his lips, and his promises.
Rafe…
I move my pencil absently over the paper but stop when my ears prick at a familiar scent. So faint, but definitely there. I sit up quickly, alert and aware, and scan the grounds all around me. My eyes focus in on the trees, the gaps between them as the day is getting later.
A pair of eyes flash in the distance. Familiar, yellow-green eyes. Fang.
Chapter 7
I hold my breath and stare back at him. He paces back and forth, a gray and white wolf that’s large and wiry. I look back to the house as a chill goes up my spine. I could call for Rafe, for any of the guys, but I’m not sure that’s a good idea.
Fang shouldn’t be here. His pack was told that I’m taken, and if he comes close, he’ll realize the truth, that I’m not. But he still doesn’t have a right to do anything about it, at least not until his pack comes in a month like they said they would.
How did he find me so soon? Or did he know from the start and he’s just been biding his time? And how is Rafe’s nose not smelling him yet? I sniff again. It’s almost like the wolfishness of his scent has been disguised, and I wonder what he used to do it.
I bite my lip and stand up, putting my sketchpad down for what feels like the millionth time today. I exhale slowly and walk out across the grass. I won’t go all the way to him, because I don’t want to risk him trying something when I’m out of earshot of the guys. But I know him better than anyone, maybe I can reason with him, talk some sense into him.
I walk another few steps out in front of the house. “Fang,” I whisper quietly. His head raises in my direction and he stops pacing. “Come out now, in human form, and we’ll talk.” I say it quietly as I get closer, so that he can hear but hopefully no one in the house can. Maybe I’m being stupid right now, but I can’t help but hope to solve this without violence if I can. I care too much about my pack mates to not at least try to keep them out of it. Though I doubt very much I’ll have a lot of success.
“No, not until you’re closer. In the trees, with me,” he whispers back, voice low and raspy.
“No, not that far away,” I reply, folding my arms and waiting.
“Suit yourself. Right now I could come out after you and be gone before they even hear me.”
I swallow nervously at the ominous threat and take another step forward. “Okay, in the trees. Promise you won’t try anything if I do?”
“Aw, Aspen, after all our time together, don’t you trust me?”
“No,” I say frankly. “I don’t.”
“Smart girl. Very well then, I promise. If you come into the trees, I promise not to do anything to you here. Wolf’s oath.”
“And you won’t try to remove me from the trees to somewhere else?” I ask.
“Yes. Wolf’s oath.”
I nod. That’s enough. No wolf can break that oath. But instead of waiting for him to become human, I transform into my wolf. This way, I can face him on even ground in case he decides not to change. I leave my clothing on the ground behind me and walk forward, enjoying the feel of my paws on the grass. It’s been too long since I was my wolf, and it feels good to be her, though this is a shitty situation.
Fang looks me over. “You’re a fine looking wolf, Aspen.”
“Thank you,” I say warily, waiting at the edge of the trees. “Why are you here?”
He paces a few times between a pair of tr
ees. “Why do you think? I’m here to claim you as mate. Like I deserve to.”
“You don’t deserve anything,” I hiss, grateful that we can talk like humans even in wolf form. “You never put any conditions on our time together.”
“Oh come on, Aspen. As I said the night you left. nothing comes without a price. No free meals.”
Rafe gives me free meals all the time, I want to retort, but I keep my mouth shut, because that doesn’t sound like the smartest thing to say right now.
He sniffs the air. “I heard they had claimed you.” He grins. “They lied, how interesting. If they cared, they would have claimed you, then I couldn’t have.”
“You still can’t,” I say angrily. “And they didn’t because I didn’t want them to. And if you try it, I’ll scream, and they’ll tear you apart.”
“Calm down,” he says. “I told you I wouldn’t do anything. But why won’t you just come willingly, Aspen? Why would you come with me for two years if you didn’t want to eventually settle down with me?”
“I went with you because I didn’t want to settle down,” I say scornfully. “You knew that. Why would you think you were the exception?”
He laughs. “I guess I didn’t, at the time. I didn’t care. It took a while to realize, to decide that it was only fair that you should be with me.”
Realization dawns on me, causing a cold shiver. “Was it your pack? Did they find you and point out what you had to gain if you just went with me?”
He nods. “And they were right to do it. I might have just let you slip away, found another willing female. But they’re right, there’s something about your pack…” he looks off at the mansion with an odd gleam in his eye. “That has its benefits.”
“Benefits you won’t have,” I say. “So you didn’t even want me for me? You just wanted the benefits?”
He grins, baring sharp teeth. “I mean, mating with you would be awesome, no doubt about it. But I admit it had a lot to do with my sudden desire for commitment.” He laughs. “Ironic, isn’t it? I mean, at least those guys back at the house wouldn’t want you for your money. But no, they weren’t good enough for you either. No one can ever like you enough, or for the right reasons, can they, Aspen?”
Alpha Games Boxed Set (Paranormal Shifter Romance BBW): Volumes 1-4 Page 10
