by L.H. Cosway
“Hey,” I said, a small bit awkward. “Everything okay?”
Stu wore a hostile expression while Lee glanced at me and replied shortly, “Fine and dandy.”
It was only when he spoke that I heard the strain in his voice, which alerted me to the fact he was walking more stiffly than usual. He stood up straight but held his hand to his stomach as though he was in pain. They were both walking away when I hurried to catch up with them.
“Lee, hold on. Are you sure you’re all right?”
He turned slowly and stared me down, a moment passing between us as my gaze flickered over his face. There were no visible signs that he’d been hurt, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t.
“We need to get going, bruv,” said Stu, hands braced on the roof of his car.
“Are you driving home?” Lee asked, and I nodded.
“Follow us, then, and I’ll buy you breakfast.”
With that he turned and carefully lowered his body into the car. I stood there for a second while Stu’s car hovered just outside the station, as though waiting for me to get a move on. Sucking down a deep breath, I hurried to follow them, and a couple of minutes later we were parking along the street outside a small, rundown café.
Stu went in ahead of Lee, who waited for me to catch up. Despite the fact that he was clearly in pain, he held the door open for me. I stepped by him, murmuring, “You don’t need to do that.”
He only stared at me, and we walked to where a waitress was seating Stu at a table by the window. I was momentarily grateful for the fact that I’d changed out of my uniform and into civilian clothes before leaving the station, because if anyone here knew the Cross brothers, I was sure they’d find it odd to see them eating breakfast with a cop.
The brothers chatted while I sat next to Lee, quiet. I didn’t know how to bring up the questions I wanted to ask him, mainly because of how guilty I felt. Not only had I arrested him, but because of that he’d taken a beating. Unease twisted in my stomach. The waitress returned and took our orders. I asked for coffee and a croissant, while Lee and Stu ordered two full English breakfasts. Silence fell over the table as the brothers eyed me and I grew uncomfortable.
Unable to think of anything to say, I suddenly remembered Tony’s brain teaser from the night before. “Hey, are either of you good with puzzles? There’s this one I’ve been trying to figure out. It goes like this: If it were two hours long, it’d be half as long until midnight as it would be if it were an hour later. What time is it now?”
I thought I saw Lee’s lips form something close to a smile at my rambling. Then, without missing a beat, Stu answered, “Nine p.m.”
I frowned and looked at him. “Oh, have you heard that one before?”
He shook his head. “Nope.”
“Then how did you come up with your answer?”
“Sixty minutes in an hour. X = 60. Midnight minus 180 minutes = 9 p.m.”
I stared at him wide-eyed, trying to figure out his equation and coming up empty. When I glanced at Lee, he was grinning. Stu got up from the table.
“I’m going to take a slash.”
I sat back, folding my arms. “Well, that was unexpected.”
“Stu’s got dyslexia, but numbers are his thing. I have him do all the accounts at the garage.”
“Seriously? Imagine what he could do if he hadn’t left school so early.”
“Yup.”
I was still contemplating Stu’s unforeseen show of intelligence when Lee began coughing fitfully. He winced as he held onto his stomach.
“Tell me what happened,” I said quietly, moving closer and touching him softly on the arm.
“Prick got to me around four this morning and brought two of his pals. Did a number on my ribs.”
I gasped and found myself scrambling for the hem of his T-shirt, pulling it up and finding two large, dark bruises along one side of his ribcage. “Lee! You need to go to the hospital.”
I was touching him then, frantically running my fingers along his injuries. He let out a gruff breath as he closed his eyes.
“Not that I don’t enjoy you fussing over me, but I’ve had broken ribs before, and these aren’t broken. It looks worse than it feels.”
“It doesn’t look like it feels very good.”
“I’ll heal.”
I couldn’t have been frowning any harder if I tried. “He can’t get away with this. As soon as I clock in for work tomorrow, I’m going to my sergeant and filing a report.”
Lee turned his body, and my hands fell from his bruised ribs. “Karla,” he murmured. “No.” There was a finality to the word that brooked no argument. I argued anyway.
“I’m doing this, Lee. Steve Burrows is a disgrace to the uniform he wears, and he won’t be wearing it much longer if I have my way.” Christ, I might even go to my dad about it.
“It was payback,” said Lee. “And, like the saying goes, she’s a bitch. I’ve had far worse beatings in my time. I’m not having you involved in this. Burrows will get his, never doubt that.” His hand slid along my shoulder before grasping my neck. I closed my eyes for a second, savouring his touch before I shifted away.
“So, why did you give him the black eye?”
“Huh?”
“Last night you told me you lied, that it was you who hit him but you had a reason. What was the reason?”
Lee huffed out a breath. “He came around again looking for money. I sent him on his way, just like I said I would.”
I didn’t like that, didn’t like how seemingly easily violence came to him.
“You hit David, too, to warn him away from Sophie. How long do you think using your fists as a solution is going to last, Lee?”
“If someone hurts my family, I hurt them back. If somebody threatens me with blackmail, I hurt them, too.” Lee shrugged. “I’m not saying I like it, but if you live in a war zone, you don’t survive with peace and love.”
“And what about when you get hurt? You’re hurt now, and you don’t seem to care.”
“Every method has its flaws.”
I stared at him sadly, thinking of the life he’d lived and how it had hardened him. Stu returned to the table then, and a second later the waitress was there with our food. I took my time stirring sugar into my coffee while the brothers dug into their breakfasts.
“These eggs are bullshit,” said Lee. “Have they ever heard of seasoning?”
I couldn’t help but smile, for a moment forgetting my worries. It was sort of cute how much of a foodie he was.
“It’s a greasy spoon,” said Stu, mouth full of bacon. “What do you want?” It sounded more like “whaddayawant.”
“Some cracked black pepper wouldn’t go amiss. Maybe a pinch of sea salt,” Lee replied, goading his brother on.
Stu shook his head and continued shovelling down bacon as he flipped Lee off. I wasn’t too sure if Stu liked me much, but in a strange way I enjoyed watching the two of them interact as siblings. Feeling my phone buzz in my pocket, I pulled it out and found a text message from Tony, informing me that the girl I’d handed off to the paramedics last night had to have her stomach pumped, but she was doing well now. Her parents had been called to the hospital.
I shot off a quick message thanking him for letting me know and glanced up to find Lee watching me. He raised an eyebrow.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” I answered, brow furrowing. “Uh, do you mind if I ask a question you might not like to answer?”
“Hit me.”
I cleared my throat. “Well, there’s this new ecstasy drug all the kids are taking. I helped a girl last night who’d been in a really bad way. You wouldn’t happen to know who’s distributing it, would you?”
Stu whistled low, shaking his head. “You have some balls asking that, Karla.”
Lee shot him a silencing look and turned back to me. “Sorry, but I can’t help you there.”
I knew instantly that he was lying. “So what you really mean is, you know but you�
��re not going to tell me.”
“I’m not your PI, and I’ll never be a snitch. So, like I said, I can’t help you.”
I narrowed my gaze at him. “Are you involved?”
Stu slammed down his coffee cup. “Fuck me, Constable. You need to stop asking questions.”
Lee seemed offended. “I told you how Mum died. She was a heroin junkie nearly all her life. Liam was born addicted, and it’s a miracle he survived.” He paused to look me dead in the eye. “I’ll never be involved in the drugs trade. Never. There’s your answer.”
I went quiet then, feeling guilty for assuming things about him. Unfortunately, being suspicious and asking lots of questions was second nature to me in my line of work. I finished the rest of my croissant in silence. At some point Stu’s phone rang, and he went outside to take the call.
“So,” said Lee once we were alone. “Now it’s my turn to ask some questions. What’s the story between you and the mouthy fuck with the gun?”
He was asking about Gavin. I should have expected it. “Not much of a story. We used to go out. He cheated on me, so I dumped him. End of.”
“Has he been trying to get back with you?”
I laughed. “No, and even if he was, it’d be a wasted effort. People get one chance with me.”
Lee smiled. “Bit of an ice queen, are we?”
“Not really. I just know that past behaviour is typically an indicator of future behaviour. Dr Phil taught me that.”
“You and Phil are tight, huh?” Lee joked. “I knew you were a cool broad.”
I narrowed my gaze at him, making an effort not to smile and failing. “Make a note — women don’t generally like being referred to as ‘broads,’ cool or otherwise.”
He shifted his body closer, and I noticed his slight wince, reminding me he was still in pain. “Oh, they don’t?”
His face was only inches away from mine, and I couldn’t help staring at his mouth. He had really nice lips; they weren’t too full, but they had a good masculine shape. He also had a strong jaw, and his skin was flawless even though he clearly hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep.
I let out a small yawn, and somehow Lee managed to move even closer. “Tired?”
I nodded. “You must be, too.”
“I’m exhausted. You should come back to mine and sleep with me.”
Inhaling sharply at his words and what they inferred, I shot him a wry expression. “Nice try.”
“I’m being serious, and I do mean sleep.”
I just laughed. He was such a chancer.
“Come on, Snap, don’t leave me sitting here feeling all rejected.”
Shaking my head, I asked quietly, “Lee, why do you like me?” The question had seriously been niggling at me ever since last night. There was clearly no love lost between Lee and law enforcement. In fact, judging by the deathly stares he’d been giving Steve and company, I’d even go so far as to say he hated cops. Therefore, I was genuinely puzzled as to why he was so keen on me.
He reached forward and took a strand of my hair between his fingers. His eyes stayed fixed on it as he answered, “Honestly, I’m still trying to figure that one out.”
What he said intrigued me. “What do you mean?”
He let out a breath and continued to toy with my hair. “When we first met, Alexis told me you were a cop, and, like a greedy little fuck, I wanted what I couldn’t have. Now, Jesus, Karla, I don’t even know. I just…I see you do things, and it kind of obsesses me. Like how you stuck up for that woman last night, or how you want to help me with Steve even though I can take care of myself. I understand it, and at the same time I don’t. Because I help people like you help people, but only if they’re family, only if they mean something. I don’t know why you’d do it for a stranger, someone who’d never do the same for you. When I stand up for my brothers, it’s to protect them and me, but when you stand up for any random person on the street, you’re putting yourself at risk with no payback. So I guess when I look at you, I see a little piece of myself, but braver. That’s why I like you.”
His answer surprised me the hell out of me, and I felt the need to help him understand my motivations. “It’s not so hard to comprehend when you think about it. Have you ever read the newspaper and seen some horrible story about a kid who’s been hurt or killed? Or about innocent people being victimised, and just feel so angry you could burst?”
Lee studied me. “Yeah, once or twice.”
“Well, that’s how I feel all the time. Maybe there’s something wrong with me, but ever since I was a kid, I always worried about people being hurt in the world. It was probably because of my dad’s job and being aware of all the awful things that happen. So I don’t really see it like I’m putting myself out there and getting nothing in return. I see it like I’m fighting against all the bad people, all the killers and rapists and paedophiles. They’re just one big giant wall of badness that I want to disassemble piece by piece. Knowing I do that every day lets me sleep soundly at night.”
Our gazes locked, the both of us silent as we shared a bizarre moment of understanding in a rundown East End café. After what I’d said, he was looking at me like I was the sexiest woman alive, and I wasn’t sure I understood his reaction. Maybe my hero complex was a turn-on.
“You’re kind of incredible,” Lee whispered, his breath on my ear as he bent his head to speak. “You should come back to mine. We’ll go to bed. I’ll even let you keep your clothes on. I’ll hold you tight, and we’ll fall asleep.” He stopped a moment to see if he was convincing me, before continuing in a lower voice. It hit me right in the pit of my stomach. “Then we’ll wake up a little while later. You’ll be wet, I’ll be hard. I’ll peel off your clothes and slip into you so easily, like I was always supposed to be there. Afterward I’ll cook, and we’ll eat dinner in bed. By the time you’re full, you’ll want me in you again.”
I was barely breathing once he finished talking, and my thighs were clenched so tight I was in danger of pulling a muscle. I wanted what he had described so badly it was almost a physical pain to say no.
“I can’t go back with you, Lee,” I whispered. “I’m sorry.”
He frowned at my reply, and I realised his hand had moved as he spoke and was now gripping my upper thigh. I shifted away from his touch just as Stu returned from his phone call, glancing between the two of us.
“All done?”
“Yeah,” said Lee, wiping his hands on a napkin. “We’re done. You can go wait in the car.”
Stu nodded and went back out the door. Lee nudged me with his hip, needing me to stand so he could get out. I rose and so did he, brushing past me as he walked up to the counter, pulling his wallet from his back pocket. When he was done paying, I moved to his side, catching him by the elbow and looking up at him.
“If I wasn’t me and you weren’t you, I’d go home with you in heartbeat. You know that, right?” I told him quietly.
For a second he glanced away, then bent his head to reply, his voice husky, “It’s because you’re you and I’m me that we want each other, Karla. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Before I could stop him his mouth dipped to mine, and he laid a soft, lingering kiss on my lips. His tongue slipped inside for just a moment, like a promise. Without another word he turned to walk away, and I stood there, my heart trying to beat its way right out of my chest.
“Thanks for breakfast,” I whispered, but he was already gone.
Eight
Two days passed. Forty-eight hours, and about ninety percent of those I spent with Lee on my mind. I was worried about him, especially after seeing the state Steve had left him in. I wanted to know how he was doing, but I was wary of texting, afraid it might give him the wrong impression…or the right one. Anyhow, I was single-mindedly determined to deny myself what I wanted. I was a grown woman, and I could resist my desire to sleep with someone I knew was no good for me.
Right?
It was six o’clock, and I’d just gotten home from a shift when
my resistance gave way. My need to touch base with him was almost physical in its urgency, so, pulling my phone from my pocket, I tapped out a quick message.
Karla: How are you feeling?
I’d popped a ready meal in the oven for dinner when my phone pinged with a response.
Lee: Like crap…you should come over and kiss me all better ;-)
I scoffed at his reply.
Karla: You never stop.
Lee: Not with you.
Barely a second went by before he sent another message, and laughter bubbled out of me. In truth, I nearly snorted.
Lee: I want your big hard truncheon, Constable, all sleek and girthy.
Karla: We don’t carry truncheons any more. They’re called batons.
Lee: You’re so good at sexting. I think I just came.
I really did snort then. He could be such a sarcastic little shit at times.
Karla: Can you be serious for a second? I want to know if you’re okay. Did you go see a doctor?
Lee: No doctor. Liam fixed me up. Kid’s got some mad skills with a medi-kit.
Karla: So you’re feeling better, then?
Lee: If I say yes, does that mean you’re not coming over?
Karla: I was never coming over.
Lee: Remember our bet? I still owe you dinner.
Karla: As tempting as that sounds, I don’t think it’s wise.
Lee: How you wound me.
And that was how things progressed between us for the next two weeks. No phone calls, no in person meet-ups, just text messages at random, any time of the day or night. It felt safe, comfortable. If I couldn’t have him in real life, then at least I could have his texts.
Lee: What you up to, Snap?
Karla: Just getting ready for work. I’m on nights again. FML. You?
Lee: Watching Anthony Worrall-Thompson bake lemon cakes and trying to figure out the recipe.
Karla: I’m sorry. I didn’t realise I was texting my grandmother.
Lee: Hahaha! We both know you want my lemon cakes.
Karla: Is that your trick? You lure women into bed with baked goods?
Lee: Pretty much. My milkshakes bring all the girls to the yard, too.
