by Megan Slayer
“What do you mean?” He needed to understand. Maybe he was being selfish.
“Colt is one man. He can’t stretch sixteen ways. He can do fifteen ways easy, but that sixteenth is one too many.”
Ashley nodded. “So you’re saying I want too much.” That made sense.
“No, you want him and right now he can’t keep all his jobs going,” Steve said. “It’s natural. I’ll bet he wants like hell to make you happy and he knows he’s not.”
“So I let him put us on the back burner.” Ashley sighed. What Steve said made sense. They needed to back off for a while.
“I’m saying be patient,” Steve said. “We’ve all been in your shoes. Not with a diner, but a job or whatever. You need to embrace the love you have for him and love him four times as much. He needs the support. So he had to leave tonight. That happens. He’s trying to make a life for you and keep his business going. I’ll bet he’s not sure how to balance everything.”
“True.” Steve made a lot of sense and had him thinking.
“If you look into your heart and decide you can’t love Colt any longer, then tell him. It’ll kill him, but he’d rather know you’re not up to the challenge,” Steve said. “But I think you are.”
“I have to think of Wyatt.”
“I know. We’re protective of our kids and siblings. I’ll bet he’s protective of Wyatt, too, even if he can’t be there all the time,” Steve said. “I guarantee Chad wouldn’t be a good influence on Wyatt. He’s decent enough as a teacher, but he’ll never be father material.”
Ashley frowned. He wasn’t interested in Chad and was insulted Steve would think that. “I’m not into Chad.”
“I didn’t think you were, but my point is you have a good thing. You’ve hit a bump. Ride it out. Don’t go looking for something that doesn’t exist,” Steve said. “Keep trying.”
“I understand.” Crazy, but he did. He kept getting tons of advice. All of it went back to trusting Colt and giving him time. He could do that.
“I’m going to get rid of Chad. I don’t want to know who he arrived with, but he’s not Farin’s favorite person,” Steve said. “He likes to butt into conversations and hits on Farin. I’ll be right back.”
Ashley grabbed a cup of cider. Life wasn’t turning out the way he’d planned, but it wasn’t bad. Not really. He had plenty of good things—Wyatt, the dogs, the house…Colt. He needed to learn balance, too. He checked his watch. Half-past ten. Shit. Wyatt should be in bed by now. He checked his phone. No notifications. He yawned and shoved the phone back into his pocket. “Hey, Wyatt? Want to go home?”
Wyatt shrugged. “Yeah. I want to read my book.”
“It’s time for you to go to bed.” He pulled his phone out and texted Colt.
Going to get a ride home. See you there.
Wyatt stood and shoved the garland back onto his head.
“Get your coat. I’ll call a ride,” Ashley said. He hated ride sharing, but had little choice. He didn’t want to impose on anyone.
“Are you leaving?” Matt asked. “We’re heading out. Aiden still has to go in for the late shift tonight.”
“Do you mind?” Ashley asked. “I appreciate it.” He hadn’t brought his coat in. Damn. “I hope it’s not super cold. I left my coat in the SUV—which Colt has.”
“No problem. I brought the truck,” Matt said. “Aiden’s grabbing our coats.”
“Truck? Will there be room?” Ashley panicked. “I don’t want to be in the way.”
“It’s a double cab.” Matt accepted his coat. “We’ve got plenty of room.”
“Colt’s working?” Aiden asked. “I don’t envy him. It seems like I’m always at the hospital. At least he can make food. Some days, I just deal with puke.”
“The flu?” Ashley ruffled Wyatt’s hair, although he spoke to Aiden. “Sounds like it’s a real problem.”
“Right now it is,” Aiden said. “I must deal with a dozen or so cases every day. No one got the shot this year or the shot hasn’t been effective. Seven out of every ten patients coming into the ER are flu patients.”
“Yuck.” He should be more understanding toward Colt. He had no idea everyone was so sick. He’d thought the kids simply weren’t washing their hands.
“Are you ready?” Matt asked. “I offered them a ride home.”
“Nice.” Aiden held onto his coat. “Let’s go.” He waved. “Merry Christmas.”
Ashley waved, too. “Merry Christmas.” He still needed to complete his Christmas shopping. He’d do that tomorrow. He left with Aiden and Matt, Wyatt keeping up beside him.
Guilt washed over Ashley as he rode home. He admired the lights and dusting of snow. Cedarwood looked festive and pretty. Matt and Aiden sang Christmas songs and Wyatt joined in. Ashley wanted to sing, but wasn’t feeling the merriment. He owed Matt a thank-you card at least. Matt giving them a ride was darn nice.
Matt pulled into the driveway. “Do you have keys? I should’ve asked that before we left in case we had to stop by the diner.”
“I have the code, thanks.” Ashley exited the truck, then helped Wyatt out of the backseat. He retrieved Wyatt’s book and coat. “Thank you for the ride. We appreciate it. Merry Christmas. Hope we get together before then.” He waved. “It was good to see you.”
“Merry Christmas,” Matt said. “Enjoy the holidays and don’t stress. You’ve got a good thing going.”
Odd, but comforting. “Thanks.” He waved again, then tapped the code into the reader by the garage door, allowing them into the garage. He waved a third time, then herded Wyatt into the house. He tapped the button inside the kitchen to shut the garage door.
Ashley closed the main door and ventured into the house. The dogs met him in the kitchen in a flurry of wagging tails, slobber and barking. He switched on the light to the back yard and followed the dogs into the chilly night air. Once both dogs had done their business, he hustled them into the house.
“Wyatt? Jammies on, brush teeth and into bed,” Ashley said. “No arguing.”
“Okay.” Wyatt plunked his new book on the table. “When’s Colt coming home?”
“I’m not sure.” He didn’t want to discuss his domestic situation with Wyatt.
“Dad?”
“Yeah?” He bit back his irritation. Wyatt could stall like a champion. “What’s wrong?”
“I know what I want for Christmas,” Wyatt said.
“What’s that?” He could only imagine.
“Colt to be home more and for you to not be sad,” Wyatt said.
“Wyatt.” His heart ached. “I’m not sad.”
Wyatt narrowed his eyes and he toyed with the garland around his wrist. “Okay. Then I would like the new Alex Major Slinky book, ’kay?”
“Okay.” He hadn’t thought he’d shown his displeasure to Wyatt, but he appreciated Wyatt changing the subject. “I’ll tell Santa.”
“Thank you.” Wyatt trudged upstairs with Ashley following.
While Wyatt changed his clothes, Ashley switched into a T-shirt. He checked on Wyatt. “Good, you’re brushing your teeth.” When Wyatt had finished, he headed into his bedroom. Ashley steered him into his own room. “Since you’ve got a busy day tomorrow, go to sleep. Grandma wants you while I go shopping.”
“Okay.” Wyatt crawled into bed. “Can I take my book?” The dogs jumped onto the blankets and curled up.
“Sure. Get your rest. I love you, kid.” He kissed Wyatt on the head. “Night.”
“’Night, Dad.” Wyatt snuggled under the blankets. Ashley left the night light on and the door open a crack.
Ashely headed downstairs. The weight of the day crushed his shoulders. He had no idea when Colt might be home, and settled in for a long night. He collapsed on the sofa. The sparse Christmas decorations in the living room did little to brighten his mood. He and Colt should buy a proper Christmas tree. Maybe tomorrow. Would the Christmas tree lots be open on Sunday?
He closed his eyes and folded his hands on his lap. He fought
to stay awake and kept an ear out for Colt or Wyatt making noise. The silence in the house unnerved him. The dogs were quiet, the lights low… He almost wanted to masturbate to take the edge off, but refrained just in case.
Besides, Colt would be there soon. He might as well power snooze while he waited for his partner. Then he’d be fresh when Colt returned. He succumbed to sleep and relaxed. For a moment, he embraced freedom. He missed Colt, but his lover would be home any moment now.
“Ash?”
Ashley sighed. The voice sounded like Colt. “Yeah?”
“Ash, wake up, babe.”
“I’m awake.” He opened his eyes. Colt sat between Ashley’s knees. “Colt.”
“Hi.” Colt smiled. The crinkles at the corners of his eyes deepened. The circles beneath darkened, too. “Come to bed.”
“Am I dreaming?” Ashley asked. “Or are you really here?”
“I’m here.” Colt helped Ashley to his feet. “It’s almost one in the morning.”
“Is it? I’m sorry.” He hadn’t meant to sleep that long. “You wanted to play. Let’s play.”
“Baby, you’re tired and I’m exhausted. We will tomorrow night,” Colt said. “I want to be awake and enjoy it. Right now, I’m dead on my feet.”
He didn’t fight Colt as he nudged him up the stairs. “Did you lock up?”
“Done.” Colt undressed Ashley. “Get into bed.”
“But you wanted to play.” He didn’t fight Colt, even if he couldn’t resist arguing.
“We will later. What will help and please me tonight is holding you,” Colt said. “I need to have you in my arms and nothing to worry about for a few hours.”
“I can do that.” Ashley snuggled between the sheets. The warm, inviting space lulled him.
Colt settled beside him and moaned. “This is the best end to a stressful day ever. My family, my dogs all in my house. My man beside me. You’re the one I need.”
“I need you, too.” Ashley closed his eyes. The problems and demands of the day didn’t bother him. He had everything he needed in their house—his son, the dogs and his Colt. He’d worry about his issues tomorrow. Nothing that was going on couldn’t wait to be dealt with until tomorrow.
Chapter Five
Five days until Christmas…
“We’re done until the fifth of January,” Ashley called. He stood in the living room of his home and watched the snow fall. He sighed. He and Wyatt had needed a break from school. They needed a break from a lot of things. Teaching elementary art wasn’t the easiest job in the world, and the whole month of December had continued to be tougher than he’d expected. Winter break fever had set in, and the kids—including Wyatt--wanted time off. They acted out when they’d normally have been fine, and their concentration diminished. A couple of his fellow teachers had noticed the uptick in attitude from the students. Everyone needed a break.
Ashley wouldn’t argue. He loved his job, but he wanted a few days where he didn’t have to worry about someone spilling entire bottles of paint or losing scissors. Plus, he wanted time with his boyfriend and son.
“Hey, Dad?” Wyatt bounded into the living room. Liz and Dick collided with each other and nipped, then flopped at Ashley’s feet. Wyatt knelt on the floor and petted both dogs. “Colt wants us to get a real live tree. He called and asked me if I’d tell you.” He stared up at Ashley. “Can we? It’s our job.”
“Wyatt.” He settled on the arm of the chair. Bits of stuffing fluttered to the floor from the most recent spot the dogs had gnawed at on the chair. He sighed. “Why would we get two? We’ve already got an artificial tree.” Picking a real tree might be fun, but what did they need with a second one? He’d waffled on the thought of a real versus faux tree for the last few days. “Why didn’t he tell me?”
“I don’t know.” Wyatt rolled his eyes and made a disgusted face. “He gave me money and said we needed to.”
“He gave you money over the phone?” He massaged his temples. “Wyatt.”
His son pulled cash out of his pocket and plunked the wadded-up bills into Ashley’s hand. “See? Five twenties. Now can we go?”
Ashley stared at the money. He felt backed into a corner. “Colt asked for this?”
“Yes.” Wyatt groaned. “Dad. We don’t have school for two and a half weeks. It’s time to have Christmas. Please?”
Wyatt did have a point. “Who am I to argue?” Ashley pocketed the cash, then nodded to the kitchen. “Put your coat on and the gates up for the dogs.” He grabbed his keys, phone and wallet, then tucked each into his pockets. He snagged his coat and stuffed his arms through the sleeves. When he withdrew his keys, he pulled his phone out. The light for messages or emails wasn’t blinking. “Is Colt meeting us there? Where are we supposed to go?”
“He said he had to work late.” Wyatt shrugged. “I stopped by the diner on the way home. That’s when he gave me the money.”
“Uh, you’re not supposed to go anywhere but the babysitters. How in the world did you go there and why didn’t you tell me?” He hated when Wyatt lied. He tamped down his momentary panic. “Wyatt? You know the rules.”
“I know, but I couldn’t tell you.” Wyatt snapped the gate into place, then tossed newspaper on the floor. “Can we go?”
“Can we stop the attitude?” He turned his attention to the dogs. “You two behave. Shouldn’t be that long.” He went into the garage and closed the door. He slid behind the wheel of the car, but checked his phone again. Still nothing. “I’m going to call Colt.” The call went straight to voicemail. Ashley sighed. “Damn.”
“Don’t swear.” Wyatt fiddled with his MP3 player. “I’m supposed to say he’s working late.”
Ashley pinched the bridge of his nose. In the last six weeks, he’d seen Colt only a handful of days. Moving in had not brought them closer together. The more they were apart, the more he believed buying the house together had been foolish.
His phone pinged.
Did Wyatt give you money? You need to get two trees. One for the diner and a bigger one for the house. I know we have the artificial tree, but I like Christmas trees. Go to the Sleigh Bell Tree Farm.
No sentiment. No excitement. Just a direction. Jesus. Things were getting bland between them. He sent a reply text.
Why didn’t you tell me he saw you? Did you pick him up? Don’t bullshit me. I hate when you’re both lying.
His phone pinged almost right away. He checked the screen. Colt.
I picked him up. I’m sorry for the miscommunication. Just go to the tree farm, okay?
Ashley sighed again and opened the garage door. “Okay, Colt told me the plan, but now he’s up to us having three trees. I don’t understand his logic, but I’m not going to argue. Let’s go.”
“Dad, cheer up. We’re getting two Christmas trees. Real ones.” Wyatt whooped. “I’ve never had a real one, just the ugly fake one.”
“I haven’t had a real tree either.” He backed out of the garage and stopped long enough to put the garage door down again before he swiveled into the turnaround. Ashley drove down their street to the main drag. “The house we lived in before was a rental, and we weren’t allowed to have a real tree or a dog.”
“I know.” Wyatt groaned. “It was so boring.”
“Depends on how you look at it.” He glanced over at Wyatt. His son had his earplugs in and was now wrapped up in his music. He wished he’d never bought Wyatt the MP3 player. Wyatt spent more time plugged in than he did in conversation. Maybe it was Ashley. Was he boring?
A dull ache started behind his eyes as he drove through Cedarwood to the outskirts. He might as well focus on their trip. If he remembered correctly, the Sleigh Bell Tree Farm was just outside town. As soon as he saw the gigantic lighted bell, he knew he’d found the right place. He’d passed the farm hundreds of times when he drove out to the freeway. He’d wanted to stop, but hadn’t seen a reason before now.
He turned onto the gravel drive and parked along the ribbon-covered fence row. Seeing the
snow and the bright red ribbon and lights strung over the lot buoyed his spirits. Wyatt was right. This was Christmas and they should have fun. He wished Colt were here, but they’d make it work.
“Dad!” Wyatt left the car and darted around to Ashley’s side. He yanked open the car door. “We can ride on the wagons and cut down our own!”
“What?” He shook his head. “We don’t have a saw. We’ll get a couple from the lot.”
“They have them on the wagon.” Wyatt grabbed Ashley’s hand. “Come on. We’ll miss the horses.”
“Where did you learn about saws on the wagons? And how do you know about horses?”
“Tyus, Dad. His family owns the farm. Duh.” Wyatt rolled his eyes. “Didn’t you hear him talk about it during career day?”
“Kid, I’m stuck in the art room. I don’t see all the presentations.” He locked the car, then stuffed his keys into his coat pocket. “I don’t know if you and I are capable of wrangling two trees. We can try, but you need to behave.”
Wyatt let go of Ashley and stood tall. “Hey, Tyus.” He glanced over his shoulder. “I’ll behave, Dad.”
Tyus waved. “Hi, Mr. Willis. Can Wy come with me to tour the wreath display? We’ll be right here.”
“Sure. I’m going to look at what’s already cut.” And make one more call to Colt. He fiddled with his phone and strode onto the lot.
“Are you calling Colt?” Wyatt shook his head. “I’m supposed to tell you he’s working late.”
“Well, maybe he can meet us here.” Ashley dialed Colt, but got his voicemail again. He stuffed his phone into his coat pocket, then made his way over to Tyus and Wyatt. “Find anything?”
“We did.” Wyatt pointed to the wagon. “See? Horses. Come on, Tyus.”
Ashley sighed. Riding on the wagon might be fun and festive. He headed over to the wagon. When he climbed up the steps, he noticed a figure already seated near the back of the rig. He stopped in his tracks. He knew that figure. “Colt,” he murmured.
