We didn’t realize how much we all depended on her until she disappeared.
Nythi’s been pulled from the mission. She’s in hiding on Enzyria. The one place Kain will never be able to enter without our permission.
“It’s just bits and pieces,” Zex confirms. “I never noticed it before, but now I can see how you all struggle to force the information through.”
“And what have you learned?”
“She’s short. Haven’t gotten the exact height yet.” His eyes narrow, lights reflecting in his colorful irises. “Quadruple eye color, just like me, but the exact colors haven’t gotten through either.”
“That’s it? How about skin tone? Hair?”
Lips pursed, he shakes his head and shrugs. “Nope. I also gathered her hairstyle and clothing changes. Especially as of late. Also, she’s see-through. The term hologram has been used, but I believe her to be an astral-body of some kind.”
Holy fuck, she is. We’ve speculated ghost, illusion, a projection. None of us ever landed on astral projection, but suddenly it makes perfect sense.
That female has been slingshotting her soul out of her body to communicate with all of us. “That would mean she might be imprisoned somewhere, unable to get out? Or her body itself is somehow restricted.”
“A Fieren, perhaps?” Asked nonchalantly, but that gleam in his irises is anything but. He’s staring at me too directly, as if willing a certain answer from me.
I attempt to confirm the suspicion I also have. No surprise, it doesn’t come out.
This is some weird shit, man. Always has been. Why would the Fates be playing this game? Or are Cy and Zex right and this is somehow Nylicia’s doing?
If so, what in the hells is she?
He scoffs and returns to staring out into the city. “And you can’t confirm this one way or the other. Of course.”
I can see how much he’s dying to bolt from here and return to Earth. He’s edgy. Suddenly lost in his own thoughts.
Two very dangerous places for him to be.
I never met him at his worst, when he was lost to the apocalypse—to Zerxis. That happened during the first two-thousand-years of his life here on the physical plane. Well, one-thousand-nine-hundred-and-sixty, to be exact. By the time I was born, Zex had two decades of “normalcy” under his belt.
“Why did you swear that oath to Cyake? Why did you come with me?” I ask.
Seeming confused, he scowls at me. “What the fuck do you mean ‘why’? You’re my friend, as well.”
My mind flashes back to that day, almost fourteen-thousand-years ago, when Cyake was overcome by the Fates. How Zex fought to break free from the immense pressure and stop his brother.
Moving my eyes back to the window, I cross my arms and remind him of that. “I never forgot how hard you fought to stop Cyake—actually, the Fates—from cursing me.”
“Keep going down this bitch-ass road and we won’t be friends anymore. Got it?”
Chuckling, I shake my head. “Yeah. I get it, asshole.”
Talk about shit someone doesn’t deserve. Zex hasn’t been the best male, but he’s not only atoned for his sins. He’s paid for them. Repeatedly. “I fucking wish I could be of more help with this. Or that I could tell you something as simple as: she’s a brunette,” I blurt.
It isn’t until the utter lack of sound next to me registers that I realize he heard me.
It came out.
“Her hair’s brown? Dark brown?” He’s white as paper, even paler than he usually is.
That isn’t what worries me. Those dilated pupils do.
What I see in them.
Short. Brunette. Possibly stuck in a Fieren.
There’s no way Nylicia can be his female. None. The female he left behind to die was human. A being has never survived a DNA change into immortality while that deep in a Fieren.
Then again, nothing is truly impossible in our world.
The outline of Zex’s body begins to phase.
I open my mouth to warn him.
He’s gone, most likely to beeline it to his mom.
Less than a second later, he comes flying back into form, as if flung out of the interdimensional plane. He lands on the floor with a seismic blast, skidding across, kicking up marble in his wake.
Fuck. The oath he swore to stay near me catapulted him right back.
Zex slides through a set of double doors as Soleria is stepping through them.
She lifts her leg and spins out of the way as he goes skidding past. Eyebrows raised but ignoring him, she searches me out. “You. We need to talk. Now.”
Chapter 43
SOLERIA
T here’s a commotion in the hallway behind me. Zexistr yelling at someone. I think he’s on the phone. “Release me from my oath. Now.”
Ignoring him, I step further into the hallway Ian’s in; the double doors slam closed behind me. “I’m doing it. I’m isolating myself.”
Like the scared little girl he has me acting as, I avoid his stare, but his derisive scoff is unavoidable.
As is his mumbled groan. “For the love of the gods.”
“I’m not arguing with you about this. This is my choice. And since you won’t leave the kingdom, I need you to swear one of those oath thingies that you won’t come looking for me.”
His stare is pure, lazy indulgence. The fucker clearly believes this argument’s been won and he’s simply entertaining my request to discuss it. “And you honestly believe isolating yourself in the kingdom will work?”
Crossing my arms, I raise my chin, refusing to let his overconfidence intimidate me. I’m smart enough to understand that this is a Hail Mary pass of epic proportions, but it’s the only one I’ve got.
Even if a piece of my heart is all gung-ho to bring life to this world, I’m not ready yet.
And the fact that my choice in baby daddy is either him or another male? My chin kicks higher, determination a heavy presence in my chest. “The Skioh,” I say in a monotone, already guessing what Ian’s reaction will be.
He doesn’t disappoint. “The gods damned catacombs?” he all but shouts. “You want to isolate yourself where this kingdom once kept their most heinous monsters? Who told you about it? It was Halamar, wasn’t it?”
That vein throbbing at his temple disconcerts me. Not because I haven’t seen it before, but because it’s always there lately. I remember him weeks ago, back when he was guarding me and inserting himself into my life. He always had a temper, yes, but he was also much lighter. More easygoing.
“They haven’t imprisoned anyone in there since Zeniel was a young boy. And the last prisoner was removed before being executed. No one’s dared enter since, but it’s definitely empty. And isolated.” Once I walk inside, all I have to do is trigger the internal lockdown systems, sealing me from within.
“In the catacombs. Isolated,” he grinds out, staring off into the distance. “For how long Sol? A day? A few? Maybe a few weeks? Months?”
“No one knows!” My shrill outcry is probably heard several floors down; I don’t give a damn. My nerves are beyond shot, my emotions completely misaligned. All I know is I can’t make this decision at this moment. Can’t chose who my kid’s father will be.
Oh, who am I kidding? I still want that asshole in front of me to be the one, above anyone else, and that infuriates me on a level I can’t comprehend.
All I hear lately? Make them kneel. Annihilate. It’s a repetitive loop, one I can’t hold back much longer. The more I ache, the louder the demands become. And there’s images coming with them now, too. Images of me hunting down the rebels that dare threaten me, subjugating them in the worst ways possible.
Flexing my powers for these beings is par for the course. That I’ve accepted. But crossing the thin line into tyranny?
Ianthen is suddenly in front of me, looking down into my eyes gently. Patiently. Pleading. “Baby, we don’t know how it’s going to hit you. It’s another unpredictable thing in our world. Every woman experiences it
in varying degrees. You’re still struggling with your DNA and powers.”
Great. It’s as obvious to him as it is to everyone else—I’m falling apart, all the glorious progress I made the first few days of my immortality gone.
And although I’ll never admit it to him, the male before me is the reason why. My teeth grind, the never-ending pain in my heart pulsating with fresh bitterness. “Go impregnate Talila.”
“We both know how much you don’t mean that.” It’s a smooth, deadly comment. “And I sure as hell don’t want it, either.”
I’m clueless how immortal males manage to avoid impregnating all the females they fuck that aren’t in heat, but I’m too raw to be rational about this. Too desperate. “For all we know, you could’ve gotten her pregnant that very night.” My own words are another blow to my civility. Emotions strangle me. Face burning, I shove him away from me. “That was the plan, wasn’t it? Go to her, take her bare.” Come in her.
The urge to fall to my knees from this heartbreak is nearly undeniable.
He stomps back to me, the muscles of his chest bulging beneath that white t-shirt. He’s wearing the leather pants he rocks beneath his armor and even his thighs are straining. “I wouldn’t have gotten her pregnant. I’ve never wanted that with anyone but you!”
I want him. God, I want him. I want him more than ever.
I think I’ll never stop wanting him.
Yet he left me, went to a goddess of a female, one so gorgeous it hurt my eyes to stare at her for the few seconds I did. He says he didn’t go through with it because she wasn’t me.
Then why go to her in the first place?
He gave me his reasons but it’s like something’s missing in the story. Either he’s withholding information or he’s outright lying, because it doesn’t make sense. “We aren’t mated to each other. You want me to have your kid and one day your real mated female is going to come along.” The one that’ll supposedly kill him.
Another mindfuck I don’t know how to deal with.
It’s his turn to cross his arms, almost as if he’s bracing himself. “What if we were?”
“Excuse me?” I gasp, trying to breathe past the sudden, vicious pounding of my heart.
“What if we did end up mated, Sol? Would you want me then? Would you be able to forgive me then?”
“No,” I answer honestly, before I even register what that means. It’s true, though. The reality of who I am. “If you were to end up mated to me? It would mean . . . God, it would mean that I deserved it. All of it. The cheating, the betrayals—”
“How could you say that?” he yells, losing his calm again. “What I did, what they did, was on us. It had nothing to do with you.”
“Really? Then how the hell does it keep happening? Are you really telling me life would be that cruel to me? That the male for me, the one connected to me on such a motherfucking deep level, would also betray me with another female?”
“She kissed me. She grabbed me. I never once reacted except to push her away when I realized she wasn’t you.”
“When you . . . you admitted you went there to fuck her! Now you want me to believe I’m the reason you pushed her away?” How many damn times are we going to argue this? How many times will he force me to remember that night?
“I did go to fuck her to save your life. But all it took was one touch from her to realize I couldn’t go through with it. I’m not downplaying the gravity of what I did, but to isolate yourself in the abandoned catacombs . . . to suffer for the gods know how long? Baby, please, think about this.”
The way his eyes shine with some undefinable emotion every time he pleads with me twists the knife in my gut. I spin around, horrified at the tears building, the way I’m shaking.
I’ve cried a few times since it happened, but never for too long. I haven’t allowed myself. Like a tea kettle boiling over, the pressure keeps growing, becoming more powerful.
I’ve reached that point; I’m about to blow.
“Soleria.”
“Don’t come near me. My whole life, I swore I’d one day find someone faithful. Someone that wouldn’t betray me. Giving in to you now not only spits in the face of everything I’ve ever wanted, but also devalues me. Don’t I deserve more than that?” Fucking hate how hoarse my voice sounds.
A swoosh of air hits my back and then he’s there, less than an inch away, body heat searing me. “I wasn’t inside her. I haven’t been inside anyone but you since I met you. You know I don’t want anyone else.”
“You want me, just like every other guy I’ve been with, but you also had no problem throwing yourself at someone else.”
“You did the same with Ricky, Sol! I know I did it first, but clearly you know what it’s like to be so lost in your own head, so confused, that you do something impulsive and stupid. I was never going to go through with it. I know that now.”
“How cute.” I’m choking on the bitterness, the fear. I can’t forgive him and my body decided it’s time to get pregnant.
“Soleria, don’t punish yourself just to punish me. I love you. I’ll need to ask Zex to restrain me somewhere, hell possibly in those very catacombs, but if what you need is to be with someone else, I’ll find a way to survi—to accept it.”
God, he breaks my fucking heart.
His hand lands on my shoulder.
I tense, seeing those glowing lights from the staples flashing in my periphery. Turning my head, I shrug his hold off. “What are those weird staple-things for?”
There’s a slight clearing of his throat. A hesitation that raises my hackles. “It’s helping me with some physical problems I’m having.”
“What do you mean? Immortals can’t get sick.”
“Normally, no. But I’m suffering something rare.”
Of its own volition, my body pulls an about-face in his direction, my wide eyes seeking him out. “What is it?”
His jaw pulses in that way it does when he’s holding something back.
Yeah, that’s right. I was paying attention the last month we were together. More than I freaking wanted to.
“Soleria, don’t worry about me. It’s temporary. What’s happening to you, however? You need to make a decision that doesn’t involve hurting yourself. It’s either me . . . or gods help me, another male, but it has to be someone. And if you choose someone else, I’ll . . .” His eyes drop, that muscle in his jaw ticking faster. When his fists clench at his sides, I catch every second of it in my peripheral; he’s bracing himself. “I’ll find a way to get through it. I’ll understand.”
Like a burning blade straight through the chest.
Those words, the sheer magnitude of what he’s offering to sacrifice . . . because it’s true. I know it is. Goes beyond my comprehension but I can see he believes what he’s saying.
He truly believes he loves me.
Yet he’s willing to step aside and let another male have me, even though it’s obvious in his enlarged eyes that the thought makes him want to commit murder.
I don’t even feel the first tear drop. Nor the second, or the third. It’s the fourth big, fat one that brings my attention to what’s happening.
The sound of me struggling to breathe past my sobs reaches my ears.
Ianthen whispers my name, coming closer.
“I loved you.” It’s a wheeze, one as primal and animalistic sounding as the one that left me the day I saw his legs cut off. Just as uncontrollable, too. “I fell in love with you. If you had never gone to her, it would be you. Only you.”
His sharp intake of breath somehow seems louder than the sobs I’m incapable of holding inside. “I know baby. I love you too. Let me fix it. I can make it better. I swear.” He reaches for me, that large, sexy hand outstretched.
Shaking my head, I clutch my heaving midsection, two weeks of restrained heartache bursting out of me at once. “I—I can’t think right now. Can’t decide. Please, just—” Fuck! I came here to tell him my decision, not for him to give me doubts. “I have t
o go.”
The sight of him is instantly replaced with the entrance to the Skioh. When Halamar told me about this place—at my command—I’d thought it the perfect idea. I’m not suicidal, but the countdown is critical.
I give it a day.
Maybe two.
Either way, it’s coming.
I need a few days alone to think past this. To come to terms. Ian’s right. I know that, of course. It’s either him or someone else.
I just need time away from the pressure to make that decision.
Or let my body do it for me.
Ian or someone else.
I walk up to the intricately carved, red-bronze gates. Beyond it, the vast cavernous tunnel burrows miles into the ground, with small branches veering off in all directions.
I wasn’t even surprised when I learned this place has impenetrable catacombs. I was surprised when they showed me the scans of the place—empty of any heat or life. All three miles they consist of.
Breathing through my parted lips, I struggle for calm. Hands against the solid gates, I drag my nails down the intricately carved surface, peeling a layer off as I go.
My panting breaths are loud. Loud enough to almost cover the slight scraping coming from the other side.
Eyes flying open, I straighten in a rush.
What the fuck?
Chapter 44
SOLERIA
A second noise makes my ears twitch, but this time it comes from above me.
Is someone coughing?
Easing away from the doors, I tilt my head to stare up at the dark, stone ceiling. There’s at least ten feet of solid mass between that ceiling and the first floor. I shouldn’t have been able to hear that.
Then again, when I first did, I could’ve sworn it came from the other side of the gates.
From the empty catacombs.
Shaking my head at my own idiocy, I almost decide to ignore what I’m hearing far above me. It’s just coughing, nothing odd.
Blood Drenched Conquest (Ryze Book 3) Page 37
