by Frankie Love
“You know what is to lose people, too,” I whisper, letting him cradle me in his arms.
He kisses my forehead, sighs. “You wanna do this?”
“I want to understand you, Cassius. That’s all I want.”
His chest expands under me, and I can tell he’s preparing himself for the story.
“You know I was poor, right? Well, I was the kind of poor that gets free lunches and no breakfasts. Fuck, I was stealing milk from the grocery store before I was ten. It never got better. Dad left, but mom did, too. She was never really there after that.”
“You and Chad, you were close back then?”
“Yeah.” He shakes his head at the memory. “Things got better when we started in with the Grimes in high school. Yeah, they’re a gang, but those boys were my crew. They were solid, and we had each others back. I’d have done anything for them. I did everything for them.”
“That’s how you ended up in prison?” I ask.
“You read about that, too?”
“Parts of it,” I admit.
“There was a gang from East LA that started fucking with some of the Grimes’ girls. Gina, especially. She was with Tommy Roller back then.”
“I know that name. Tommy was the leader of your gang?”
“Yeah. And they came after her hard one night.” He exhales, eyes closed, and I can see how hard this all is for him. “Fuck, this shit is heavy, Evie.”
“It’s okay, baby.” I lace my fingers with his, pulling myself closer to him.
“It’s not okay. It’s fucking messed up. Those fuckers went after Tommy—I guess he owed them twenty Gs for cocaine. Tommy didn’t have the money, and they shot him. Of course there weren’t any witnesses.
“A week goes by, and they wanted payment, in the form of Gina. So there we are, in a fucking parking lot, people all around. These fuckers knew we wouldn’t put up a fight there in public. One of those boys went for Gina, and I just knew if they took her, we’d never get her back. This is a girl who grew up on my block, right? A girl who had been my friend for years.”
“You saved her.”
“I don’t know what I really saved that night.” Cassius shakes his head. “Everyone went fucking ballistic, wanting vengeance for Tommy’s death. But one of the other guys got the brunt of our rage. We took it all out on him. The cops came. People scattered. I was so worried about Gina getting away safe, that I didn’t watch my own back. Next thing I know, I’m the only one left at the scene of the crime, with his blood on my hands.”
“Shit, Cassius.”
“I don’t know what was worse, going to prison, or coming out to find that the crew no longer had my back.”
“Why’d they turn on you?”
“I asked questions no one wanted to answer. Like what Tommy was really doing with the those guys. Where the money went. Why they were coming after our girls so hard. There was fucking shady shit going on, and no one wanted me to dig it up. They wanted to keep it buried with Tommy.”
“Chad walked away, too?”
“Well, he says so. But fuck, I can’t trust that bastard. Gina either. She was there waiting the moment I got out of prison, but it’s like, this whole time I wonder if I’ve been played a fool.”
“You’re not a fool. Maybe loyal to a fault, but there are worse things than that.”
“That’s why your dad wanted to keep you from me. And I get it, Evangeline. You may have a messy story, but it’s a different kind of mess. You were broken, but I’m fucking beat down.”
“You were beat down. But not anymore, Cash. You’re free from that.”
He lowers himself on top of me. His thick cock presses against me as I wrap my legs around him, needing him to fill me completely.
“When I’m with you,” he tells me. “I believe that.”
“When I’m with you, I believe in us.”
His pale eyes take on a cloudy hue. Desire is so clearly written on his face, as if he’s consumed with a storm only I can calm.
“Take me again, Cassius,” I moan.
He doesn’t need to be asked twice. He flips me over so I’m on all fours; he spanks my bottom. I cry out in surprise, my face pressed against the pillow as he runs his palm over my ass.
“Oh, honey.” His voice rumbles low. “I’m going to take you all night.”
He presses his cock into my opening, and I moan as he fills me fast, without hesitation. He knows what he wants.
He wants me.
My pussy tightens around him, and my fingers grip tight to the rumpled sheets as he plows into me from behind. His hands cup my breasts as he moves deeper inside me, reaching to my core.
“Oh God, baby, oh God,” I moan. His thickness fills every inch of me, and the walls of my pussy tighten. I reach a hand to my opening, rubbing my clit hard as he takes me from behind.
I roll my fingers in a tight circle, nearing climax as Cassius does too. I feel his cock throbbing within me.
I fall against the bed, unable to hold myself up any longer as an orgasm is unleased over me, reaching my toes. My pussy is sopping wet with release, as Cash completely washes away any ideas I had about making love.
When we come together, it’s bigger than sex, or making love, or getting off. When we come together, it feels like anything is possible.
He pulls his hard cock from me, and I feel his milky come coating my ass as he marks me. He runs his hand over my wanting slit as his come shoots over my bare skin.
He presses three fingers in my dripping gap, flickering his fingers against me as tears fill my eyes. I can’t breath. My body is on fire. I’ve transcended.
My pussy is begging for more. I want Cash to spread my legs forever, and he seems to read my mind, because he flips me over, lowers his face to my cunt, and starts sucking my worn pussy, as if thanking it for giving him the best fuck of his life.
“Girl, you taste so fucking good,” he growls.
I feel a smile spread over my face, and my eyes close as I run my fingers through his hair. His tongue licks me up and down, until I’m gushing my juice all over his face.
I never want him to stop staking his claim on me.
And he doesn’t. He takes me all night long, until the sun comes up.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Cassius
I feel like the fucking king of the goddamn world when I wake in the morning, with Evangeline in my arms. I fucked her all night, until we were raw and worn, and whole. We fell asleep, satiated and slick with the emotional and physical release we both needed.
“Baby,” she says, her sleepy eyes meeting mine. “Last night was everything.”
She’s right. It was. I can’t imagine anything getting in the way of what we have.
She tells me that her job is important to her, and that she needs to be on set by nine a.m. I call a car to come get her, to take her home so she can change.
And when I open the hotel room door to walk her out, we’re accosted by five guys I haven’t seen in a long fucking time.
Trey Roller—Tommy’s brother—says, “Look at you, Cash Flow. I haven’t seen you in a long time, but looks like you’re doing pretty fucking good for yourself.”
“Hey,” I say, wrapping an arm around Evangeline, who looks completely caught off guard. Just like me. “We don’t want any problems. There are cameras all over here, and I don’t want any trouble.”
Trey smiles, looking behind him at the other ghosts from my past.
“There were cameras. My boys, they took care of ’em.” Trey raises his eyebrows, jutting his chin at me, telling me to step back into the room.
The only thing I can see is the gun tucked into the waistband of Trey’s jeans. And the only thing I can think is that I need to get Evie out of here. Now.
But I have no fucking backup. Because I have no one but her.
My security doesn’t cover me unless I’m at a show—I mean hell, I’m a musician, but I’m not fucking Bono. But hell, right now I need those guys.
“
Chad put you up to this?”
“Up to what, bro?” Trey says. “We’re just here for a friendly conversation. Haven’t spoke since you left the slammer. And I thought we should probably clear the fucking air, now that things have changed.”
“Nothing’s changed, Trey. You didn’t want to answer my questions when I got out, and I’m not gonna help you now.”
“Oh, so you don’t wanna play nice?” Trey shrugs. “That’s cool. I don’t need to play nice, either.”
“I don’t want to play at all. Just get the fuck out.” I feel Evangeline tense beside me, and I take a deep breath, trying to keep steady. My mode of motherfucking operation is to fight when anyone gets close to the ones I love, the ones I promised to protect.
They aren’t touching Evangeline.
“Oh, we’re not leaving until you make a few promises to us. Promises you will keep.”
“I’m not giving you anything, Trey.”
He nods to his boys, and they walk toward me, reaching for Evie.
“Don’t fucking touch her,” I yell. But it’s too late; one of them already has his hand on her, taking her from me.
I return to the place I’ve been before, go into an animalistic place where I will fight to the death to protect her.
I push him away from her, shoving him against the wall, punching his face until it is bloody.
Another guy pushes Evangeline behind him, and she fights back, trying to get away from him. I punch another guy in the face as I reach for her.
Trey slams a fist in my jaw.
“Fuck you, Trey. Get the fuck out of here.”
Trey pulls back. “We aren’t here to fight.”
Evangeline screams as a man holds her still.
“Not here to fight?” I yell. “Then what the fuck are you here for?”
“For money.”
“What kind of money do you want?” I scream. “You can have any of it. I don’t fucking care. Just go.”
Just then, Evangeline kicks the glass coffee table in front of her, breaking it into a hundred pieces. She reaches for a shard of glass and presses it against the man holding her, digging it into his forearm. His blood gushes out as he screams.
Trey jerks around, realizing that Evangeline is putting up an unexpected fight, for such a little thing. He starts for Evie, just as I wrap my arm around his neck. He pushes away, falling into Evangeline. Shards of glass are scattered everywhere, and slicing both of them as they tumble to the ground.
She screams, her eyes searching for mine, and I reach for her as she falls, blood covering her chest as the glass stabs her.
It may not be a shot to the heart, but it’s a cut that can kill.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Evangeline
I see Cassius reach for me. Punches are thrown as he moves toward me. He falls to my side as the other guy pulls out a gun.
This can’t be happening.
This is what he warned me about, what Dad feared: that I’d kick down the box of my life and be left hurt.
Left for dead.
My eyelids flutter. Black covers my vision. And then I see Cash’s pale blue eyes, looking into mine.
The contrast hurts. Light and dark. Good and bad. Hope and fear.
Desperation.
“Hold on, Evangeline.” Cash’s voice covers me. I cling to him—his words, his hope—until the fear wins. His desperate pleas are the last thing I hear.
Chapter Thirty
Cassius
Trey runs out a back exit with his boys, as I call 911.
I don’t care if they want to pull a motherfucking gun on me. Right now, all I can think about is saving Evangeline.
Blood covers her shirt, pools on the floor.
But they didn’t pull a gun. They must have realized that this shit got real, way faster than they were prepared for.
They just made a break for it.
The ambulance screams into the parking lot below, sirens blaring.
Hotel security is after the men who came here today, but all I see are gentle Evangeline’s eyes closing, her body still. My arms are around her.
“Baby, don’t go,” I cry, my face streaked with tears. “Hold on, Evangeline. Hold on.”
The medics are in the room, lifting her onto a stretcher as the police run after Trey.
I don’t watch them go; I just pray they run fast and get those fuckers.
My eyes, they’re on her.
I refuse to let go of her hand, and ride with her to the ER.
And then I wait as she’s rushed behind a white curtain, as doctors race for her body. I pray that they can stitch her back together. I pray that they can make her whole.
Because it’s my motherfucking fault she broke, when I swore I would protect her.
She was too good for me.
And I’ve never felt that truth like I do right now.
The nurse asked for her name, told me she would make some calls. And I’m glad.
I can’t call her fucking father and tell him that his little girl may have just died under my watch.
No. It can’t be the truth.
She will survive.
She must.
But she also needs a better man than me.
A man with a story that doesn’t end with blood on the floor and broken hearts and broken dreams.
She deserves a man who can give her something more. Something safe, something whole.
Outside of the hospital, I place a call. I can’t bear to face Evangeline’s father, and I know he’ll be here any minute. I need some fucking words of wisdom before I can look him in the eye.
Maybe it’s crazy to hope Mom can offer that to me, but I’m desperate. So fucking desperate.
“Can she talk?” I ask the nurse at the home.
“Oh, Cassius, I’m sorry. I spoke with your brother. We thought you were still out of town,” the nurse explains.
“I just got back yesterday,” I tell her.
“And Chad didn’t tell you? I’m so sorry, but she was moved to LA General two days ago. I thought you knew. We left a message at the home number on our paperwork, and Chad is listed as the emergency contact until you got home.”
I put Chad as the contact, thinking that, yeah, he may be a fucking asshole about a lot of things, but I trust that he can keep his shit together when it comes to Mom.
“Why is she at LA General?” I ask, looking up at the signage on the hospital where Evangeline has just been admitted: LA General.
“She paid off a janitor to get her liquor. She was drinking, took a bad fall. She broke her hip. She had surgery yesterday. She’s in recovery now.”
“Holy shit.”
“I’m so sorry, but if you go to the hospital, the doctor can give you a better update on her progress. Unfortunately, she won’t be able to return here. Our rules are pretty strict. The best thing for her at this point would be a rehab center for substance abuse.”
I snort. This entire day has just blown up in my motherfucking face.
Last night I was in a cocoon, the world so small, under the covers with Evangeline.
And now she’s bleeding, and my mom is broken, and I know in my gut that Chad put Trey up to this.
“After her accident, the judge sentenced her to a thirty-day program,” I tell the nurse. “She could have used a much longer one, obviously. But back then I didn’t have the money. Once I had the funds, she was already back home and refused to go.”
“Well, most of those places won’t take someone who needs as much support as she does, anyway. Her liver is wrecked and her brain injuries, though not debilitating, have caused her to lose so much of her mobility.”
“And now a broken hip. Shit.” I shake my head, thanking the nurse for her help.
My shoulders shake.
I fall to the ground, my knees hitting the pavement as everything around me just collapses.
“Motherfucker!” I scream, knowing there’s no one left to listen.
“Hey, bro,” a voice cal
ls. “Man, you okay?”
I lift my head. It’s Jude and Holden, Evangeline’s cousin and roommate.
I can’t deal with this now, with these guys who are fucking Los Angeles royalty.
And me? A fuckup from the other side of the tracks.
“Hey,” Jude says, reaching for my hand. “You’re losing it, you know that, right?”
I run my hands over my face. “Evangeline. You know about her?”
“Yeah, man, we know,” Holden says, clapping me on the back. “She’s in surgery right now.”
“It’s all my motherfucking fault.”
“No,” Jude shakes his head. “It was the fucking men who stormed in on you both— who are currently behind bars, by the way.”
“The cops found them?” I shake my head.
“They didn’t get far,” Holden says. “And no one is blaming you.”
“Maybe you don’t, but I can’t set foot in that hospital. I can’t look Evangeline’s father in the face.”
“Right now, you can’t worry about that. Right now you need to just hope that Evangeline gets out of surgery okay.”
“You know the most fucked-up thing, besides knowing my brother is behind all this shit? Finding out my mom is in this same hospital right now. Had surgery yesterday. And my fucking brother was keeping that from me.” I hold up my phone. “I just found out.”
“Shit, man.” Holden shakes his head. “Listen, go see your mom. We’ll keep you posted on Evangeline.”
We exchange numbers, and I take a long look at these two guys. If my life’s taught me anything, it’s to be leery of anyone willing to step out on limb for you.
“Why are you helping me?”
“I’ve known Evie my entire life,” Jude says. “Last night, at the club, I’ve never seen the girl so fucking sure. Like she knew exactly what she wanted. That girl may have lived a sheltered life, but she’s no fool. She trusts you, so I trust you.”
Holden shrugs. “I just do what he says.” He points to Jude.
“Why do you trust Jude so much?” I ask Holden, remembering what it was like not to question the boys whose backs I had.
