by Amira Rain
On one hand, I knew that the three-second delay had probably been just because, like he’d said, my question had shocked him. On the other hand, though, part of me wondered if his delay in responding had been because he had a guilty conscience and wasn’t quite sure what to say. Or, I figured, maybe he really had been stunned, but just because I’d found out the truth.
You’re really losing it, I told myself around midnight, still unable to fall asleep. Hayden loves you. He’d never hurt you or use you. Just trust him.
I was finding that giving a person full trust while in a relationship was a lot easier said than done.
However, in the cold light of day the next morning, I realized that it was crazy and paranoid of me to keep having suspicious thoughts about Hayden, and I resolved to simply not do it anymore. Mind over matter, I told myself. Just trust him. It’s just a choice.
For a few weeks, I kept my resolution. I trusted Hayden, making a conscious choice to do it, and I just didn’t let any doubts or suspicions about him enter my mind. It helped that Carla continued to not even speak Hayden’s name to me anymore, let alone say anything that caused me to start having doubts about his love for me.
However, the day before Halloween, which was when Hayden was planning on coming home for good, Carla sent me a text asking me if she could come over to the house and talk to me in private; and I just had a feeling what the topic of discussion was going to be. Uncertain of how to respond, I sat on the edge of my bed, just thinking for a minute, before sending her a return text.
Come on over and let yourself in. I’m up in my room. But, please, Carla…can we not talk about anything having to do with Hayden? I’m just not feeling the greatest today…just having some back pain off and on…and I just don’t want to be upset about anything. Okay?
Her response was brief: I’ll be over in ten.
She beat her own estimate, arriving within five minutes, stunning me by having a puffy, tear-stained face. I’d been resting on my side in bed, just trying to get my lower back pain to go away; and I now sat up quickly, or at least as quickly as I could with a basketball-sized stomach.
“Carla, what’s wrong?”
Biting back a sob, she pulled over a chair from a small writing desk in my room and had a seat by my bed before speaking. “Everything is wrong. Just, everything. Someone I care about a lot as a friend is in serious danger, and that someone is you. I just don’t want you to die, Sydney.”
With my heartbeat accelerating, I asked her what she was talking about, and she produced a folded sheet of plain white paper from her jacket pocket.
“See, after our talk a few weeks ago, I didn’t want to upset you again, but I just kept having these strong feelings about Hayden…about the possibility of him hurting you. So, the time that he came home for two days after that, I started doing a little investigating and a little surveillance. I saw him leave a note for someone in the woods one night, and then maybe an hour later, I saw Sam come to get it.
Ever since then, I’ve been going through you guys’ trash every week when no one’s around…I’ve been going through every single trash bag that has left this house, just trying to find the note that Hayden left for Sam. I just thought that if Sam ever threw it away, and I could find it, maybe it would give some kind of a clue about Hayden’s true intentions for you or something.
Then, today, earlier this morning, when I saw that everyone had left the house but you, I went through the bag of trash that must have been set out last night, and I finally found the note.” With fresh tears streaming down her cheeks, Carla paused, sniffling. “I just don’t think you’re going to want to read it, Sydney. You have to, though…if you want to save your life.”
Suddenly, with trembling fingers, I grabbed the folded sheet of paper from Carla’s hand, opened it, and began reading what Hayden had written to Sam, quickly feeling as if I’d been punched in the gut.
Just to let you know, no matter what Mark says, I’ve decided to kill her. I absolutely hate that I have to do it, but things will be a lot easier this way. Pass this on to Trevor when you’re done.
After I’d finished reading the note, I just couldn’t look up from it for some reason. I couldn’t even breathe. All I could do was simply stare at the distinctive handwriting that I knew without a doubt was Hayden’s. As if staring at it long enough would cause it to morph into someone else’s handwriting or something.
After however many seconds had ticked by, Carla grabbed the note back from me. “You can’t sit here and torture yourself with it. We have to take action now. And with Hayden coming home tomorrow, we don’t have much time to come up with a plan.”
Feeling somehow incredibly weak, yet supercharged with adrenaline at the same time, I spoke in a shaky sort of near-whisper. “What should I do? Should I leave the farm right now and go stay at a hotel in Sweetwater, or—”
“No. That won’t work. Hayden has guards posted all over around the two exits out of the farm to US-12, supposedly to keep the Warrens out, but now I’m thinking that they’re also to keep you in.”
“Well, then, what do I do?”
A tear suddenly slid down my cheek, and I hastily wiped it away before repeating myself.
“What do I do?”
After wiping her own tears away, Carla produced a small knife with an ornately-carved wooden handle. “This is a magical knife that someone from my first coven gave me. It was made by a sorceress over seven hundred years ago, and the blade was dipped in some kind of poison that doesn’t wash off, no matter how many times the knife is used. You’re going to have to use this knife to kill Hayden.”
“But…I thought that vampires—”
“You’re right. Normally vampires can’t be killed by just a simple stab of a knife. This isn’t an ordinary knife, though. The poison that’s on the blade was made specifically to kill vampires. It doesn’t even take much more than a prick. Just as long as you can drive the blade at least a half-inch or so into Hayden’s body, doesn’t even matter which part, he’ll die instantly.
I can’t do it myself, because I just don’t think I can get close enough to him to stab him before his vampire reflexes kick in. And then, it would be all over for me. You can get close enough to stab him, though, and he’ll never even see it coming. You’ll just have to curl up with him, acting like you just want to snuggle. Then, when he’s comfortable, just slowly pull the knife out from beneath a pillow or something, and try to stab him in the back with it, or maybe the side of his neck.”
Overcome by grief, shock, profound sadness, and many other emotions that I couldn’t even identify, I buried my face in my hands while my shoulders shook with sobs. “Okay.”
After getting out of her chair, Carla had a seat beside me on the bed, and put her arm around me, crying and sniffling again herself. “Don’t worry, Syd. You’re going to make it through this. After Hayden is dead, everything will be just fine. Whether Sam or Trevor becomes the new leader, you and your baby will be safe. I know Sam and Trevor both pretty well, and I know they’re not as cruel as Hayden.
They won’t hurt you. In fact, they’re both probably just dying inside right now knowing that Hayden plans to kill you. They’re loyal to him, though, or maybe just terrified of him. Either way, they won’t do anything to stop him. You have to. Tomorrow. Okay?”
I nodded, in disbelief about how wrong I’d been about Hayden. He was his father’s son after all.
*
I cried in bed for nearly the entire day. Jen came in around noon, wanting to know if I’d play some kind of a game called “Halloween candy checkers” with her. Partially covering my tear-stained face with a blanket, I said that I was having a “hormonal pregnant girl day” and that I just wanted to be left alone to have a few sniffles in private. Jen asked if I was sure, and I said yes.
She said okay, came over to my bed, and gave me a hug, saying that if I changed my mind, and wanted her to come back to my room, all I had to do was text her and she’d come running. “I’ll
watch TV with you, or just sit with you, or do whatever else you want me to do. I’ll even cry, too, so that you won’t feel like you’re having the hormone surges all alone.”
When I still hadn’t emerged from my room by three in the afternoon, she brought me up a big plate of lunch, except that it wasn’t actually a plate; it was a silver serving platter, like the kind a whole turkey might be served on at Thanksgiving.
“I just thought this might cheer you up…just to have some lunch served to you on a special big plate that my dad hardly ever lets me use. And, also, this big plate was kind of necessary to fit all your food, because I just thought that an almost-nine-months-pregnant girl like you should probably get two lunches in one.”
Laden with pizza bagels, turkey sandwiches, crackers, fruit, potato chips and dip, cookies, string cheese, granola bars, and no fewer than three baked potatoes, each of them with a different topping, the platter looked like it actually might contain the equivalent of four or five lunches. Maybe even more.
Realizing that despite my emotional distress, I was absolutely starving, I thanked Jen, then asked her if she minded if I ate alone. “I guess I’m just still feeling a little weepy, and still just want to be by myself.”
Jen said that was fine. “Just don’t forget to text me if you need anything, though, okay?”
Sitting up straighter in bed to accept the platter onto my lap, I said okay. “Oh, and, Jen? Please just tell Mel, and your dad, and Carol that I’m just having a movie day or something and just want to be left alone.”
Jen said all right, gave me a hug, and left.
That evening, Carol poked her head in and said that she knew I wanted to be left alone, but that Jen was downstairs making spaghetti, and everyone wanted to know if I wanted some.
I said no, thank you. “I think I have about four meals left on the platter Jen brought me this afternoon.”
Carol said all right, then poked her head a little further in the room, asking if I was doing okay.
My tears had temporarily stopped by this point, and my blotchy face was obscured by the fact that the only light in my room was now coming from the TV. So, feeling as if I was going to be pretty convincing, I moved my mouth in the motion of a smile and told Carol that I was completely fine.
“I just needed a lazy movie day in bed, is all.”
Seemingly satisfied that I was telling the truth, she said all right and soon left.
When Hayden called around ten, I didn’t answer, and he left a message saying that he just wanted to wish me goodnight. Not wanting him to think that anything was amiss or get the feeling that I was onto his plan, I sent him a text about five minutes later. Just got out of bath and so beat my eyes are already closing. Can I call you tomorrow?
He responded right away, saying of course, ending the text by saying I love you. I texted him an I love you back, gritting my teeth and crying again while I did it.
That night, I slept poorly, having nightmares about Hayden coming at me, fangs bared. Each time I had this particular nightmare, I woke up drenched in sweat, crying, and hardly able to believe that the guy I loved was actually planning to kill me. It was all there in black and white, though. Carla had left the note Hayden had written on my nightstand. Since Carla had left, I’d probably read the note a hundred times, desperately wishing that I wasn’t seeing Hayden’s distinctive handwriting.
After my night of nightmares and fitful sleep, I was finally able to fall into a deep sleep around dawn, and then I ended up sleeping until noon. After showering and dressing, I went downstairs and found the house quiet and empty, and I realized that everyone was probably working the haunted hayride.
Since it was Halloween day, the hayride was going on even in the afternoon, instead of just during the evening like usual, with tickets having been sold out for about a week. Word about the terrifying unicorns on the haunted hayride route at the MacGregor farm had traveled fast in Sweetwater.
Thinking things over, I sat at the island in the kitchen for a while, not crying anymore, until I finally had a solid plan for how I was going to protect my baby and save my own life. I was going to kill Hayden along the haunted hayride route.
I’d thought about what Carla had said, about trying to stab him in the back or neck while pretending to snuggle with him, and I just didn’t think that was the greatest idea. For one thing, trying to stab someone from behind while facing their front just seemed like it would be a difficult thing to do, and maybe even outright impossible.
It didn’t even matter that I only had to drive the knife into Hayden’s flesh about a half-inch deep; I wasn’t even sure that I could do so much as a poke from such an awkward angle. And if I didn’t complete the job, and if he lived through a failed knifing, I was pretty sure that I’d soon die myself. I wasn’t even sure that he’d wait until after I had the baby.
The second reason that I didn’t want to try to stab Hayden in the way that Carla had suggested was that if I did, and if he died right there in the family living room, or even in my own bedroom or something, it would be pretty clear who’d done it, and I just didn’t want anyone to know.
It wasn’t like I couldn’t just produce Hayden’s note and claim self-defense, but even still, I just didn’t want the title of “killer” attached to my name. I didn’t want my baby to someday find out what I’d done. Better to kill Hayden out in the woods and have everyone forever think that it had been some kind of a Warren attack, I figured.
I also thought that making an attempt on Hayden’s life in the woods would be better because not only would I be able to get a better “stabbing angle” if we were both standing upright, face-to-face, but I also thought that I’d have a better chance of being successful in my attempt in the dark.
As a vampire, Hayden had sharper-than-average vision at night; however, as he’d explained to me one time, it wasn’t like wearing night vision goggles, where everything appeared pretty much crystal clear and illuminated. “It’s more like we’re just able to see the glint of moonlight on objects with much better clarity than the average human,” he’d told me once.
I knew that that could include the glint of moonlight on a knife blade, and it was going to be a full moon that night. However, I didn’t plan on Hayden seeing the knife until it was too late, if he even did at all. Before leaving the house the day before, Carla had given me a leather knife holder of some sort that buckled around my hips just like a belt.
I’d wear a long, flowy sort of shirt so that it and the knife would be completely concealed until I was ready to pull it out and stab Hayden, which I planned to do in one swift motion, with no hesitation.
After pacing around the kitchen for a little while, just thinking through every aspect of my plan, I sent Hayden a text. You still expect to be arriving home around eight tonight? He soon responded in the affirmative, and I sent him another text. I’ll meet you along the haunted hayride route, then…by the unicorn with glow-in-the-dark stars all over its body near the end of the hayride path. I’m going to be there, making sure that kids don’t hop off the hayride to get a closer look at the unicorn.
Soon, Hayden sent me a return text. I’ll be there at eight. Can’t wait to see you. I texted back that I couldn’t wait to see him, too.
Not a minute after I’d sent this text, I received one from Carla, asking if “things” were “still going forward.” I texted her back, saying that yes, “things” were. This evening, right when he gets home. Carla answered back right away. Good. Stay strong, Sydney. Don’t doubt yourself.
I didn’t plan to.
A few hours later, around four, while I was pacing around the living room with Wanted on my heels, I got a text from Mel, saying that everyone missed me, wanted to know if I was okay, and also wanted to know if I was coming out to the haunted hayride. I soon sent her a return text. I’m fine, and yes, I’m coming out to the hayride. I don’t want to be on my feet too long, though, so I’m just going to join everyone for the last few hours, around nine, and take it easy
here at the house until then. Mel answered back within a minute, saying that that sounded great, and that everyone couldn’t wait to see me around nine.
I’d told her that time because I figured if I killed Hayden around eight, that would give me enough time to dash back to the house, change my clothes and clean up any blood that got on me, and then dash back to the hayride just in time to pretend to be shocked by the discovery of Hayden’s lifeless corpse along with everyone else. Since I was going to be killing him along the hayride route, I didn’t think it would take very long before he was discovered, since the hayride rolled along the miles-long route about once every forty-five minutes.
I spent the rest of the day trying to rest, knowing that I was going to need every last ounce of my strength. I did more pacing than anything, though, trying to release nervous energy and stay strong without doubting myself, as Carla had instructed me to do.
However, when I finally reached Roberta Jane, the unicorn that evening about fifteen minutes before eight, I began to not just doubt myself, but my entire plan.
For one thing, it wasn’t quite as dark out as I’d thought it would be. It was dark, but just not pitch dark, or even anything remotely close. Not only was it fairly early in the evening, but the full moon was as bright as a giant glowing pearl, and thousands of stars studded the clear, darkened sky. The weather report had called for many clouds in the area during the evening, and I’d kind of been counting on that.
For another thing, I now began to wonder if I even had the physical strength to plunge a knife into a person’s flesh. Being that I’d never done it before, I simply didn’t know. It only has to be a half-inch or so, though, I told myself. But for some reason, being that I didn’t do gymnastics anymore and hadn’t done any arm exercises or anything during my pregnancy, I suddenly began to doubt if I could even do that.
The hayride soon rolled through, full of people laughing and yelling, one of them being Jen, and I hid deep within the dense trees nearby until it had passed. It wouldn’t be coming back through until about eight-thirty now, which would give me plenty of time to do what I needed to do, and what I was still determined to do, despite my self-doubt. Really, it wasn’t even like I had a choice. I had to do what I needed to do or else lose my own life, leaving the baby that I loved already without a mother.
