That was the very first time I’d ever heard him say my name.
I found myself unable to move as he held my gaze. But my brain came back and it was waving red warning lights over my face. Something strange just happened and I wasn’t sure what it was.
All I knew was something sparked within the depths of my heart as he said my name.
Maybe I’d gone completely crazy from all he’d put me through, but lust and attraction were having a field day with me. This was the worst kind of man I’d ever met and I shouldn’t have allowed him to get as far as to touch me. He was drunk and he might remember my name, but it would be nothing more.
“I want you,” he slurred.
“Okay, let me go slip into something more comfortable.”
He looked happy to hear that. I slid off the desk when he released me. Josh watched until I turned the corner by the potted palm trees.
Once I did, instead of going up the stairs like he thought I took off through the door and left the house, heeding Zelda’s warning to run like hell if he ever grabbed my ass. Too bad he did more than that.
* * *
“What happened to you? The sandwich is all soggy now.” Hilda grimaced, motioning over to my poor sandwich on the plate, which did indeed look flat and sodden. It still smelled great though.
“You look all flustered,” Gabriella noted. “Why is your face so red?”
My face? I was surprised my whole body hadn’t turned lobster red with embarrassment. I spent the journey here questioning my sanity, and my actions. What was the matter with me? Why did I behave like that with Josh? Of all the men I could have allowed to touch me like that, why him? There really was just one answer. I’d gone crazy.
I made my way around to the seat they’d left out for me and sunk into it. I had to catch my breath.
“Yes, you look very flustered indeed.” Hilda giggled.
I pulled in a breath and on release I told them what happened.
“Dias Mios. I knew he liked you.” Hilda pointed at me. “It was all that sexual tension. What was it like?” Hilda asked with a saucy glint in her eyes.
I widened my eyes and glared at her. “What was what like?”
She leaned in closer and said, “sex with him.”
“I didn’t do anything. I ran like hell.”
“Really?” Hilda inclined her head and stared at me in disbelief.
Gabriella swatted her hand and shook her head at her. “Hilda, you bad girl.”
“Yes, I am, and there’s no way I would say no. What are you going to do when you go back?”
“I can’t go back today. There’s no way.” No, I couldn’t.
“So I have to go back to him? With his sex-crazed self?” Hilda glared at me.
“You just said you’d be fine with that whole thing.” Gabriella pointed out.
“I can’t now, he’s her guy.”
“He’s not my guy.” I argued. “And, I’m nowhere closer to where I need to be. Everything is a mess.”
This was not good at all. It was a disaster.
I had lunch, went back to my apartment, and decided on a new strategy.
At six a.m. the next day when I went in Josh’s room, I prayed to God in his high Heaven that today would be better than yesterday.
The glass of ice cold water I carried was my just in case, the weapon I’d use on him to wake him up. He was passed out again in his usual pose, again with the bottle.
“Josh, wake up.” Nothing, not even a flinch. “Josh.” I shook his arm.
“Go away, it’s far too early. Get out,” he grumbled.
“Josh I’m going to give you to the count of three to get the hell up.”
He just lay there.
“One, two…three.” I splashed the water in his face and he roared. I’d never heard anyone roar before. As he lunged forward and tried to grab me I reached for a pillow and hit him with it. That didn’t save me, he grabbed me around my waist and, in one deft move, pulled me towards him as if I weighed nothing more than a feather. Fear rippled through me and I screamed, smacking out at his chest.
“You’re pure evil, you know, Kansas,” he balked
“Stop calling me that you blockheaded jock.” I elbowed him and shuffled out of his grasp. “Get up, Josh. Today is Wednesday. If you don’t want to play football anymore then tell me now.” I held his gaze, looking straight into those penetrative eyes of his, trying to reach his senses and understanding. “I have been up since before four. It’s six a.m. Tell me now if you don’t want to play and I’ll stop wasting my time and energy on you.”
He looked at me just like he did yesterday, but this was different. He was himself again. There was no trace of the man who had kissed me and told me I was his beautiful PA.
Good.
Now I knew he was listening…and he was getting up. He pulled back the covers and got off the bed on the side nearest his en-suite bathroom. He looked at me, frowned, then walked into the bathroom.
Finally, some hope. I wouldn’t mention yesterday and I hoped he wouldn’t either. I just wanted to get this week over and done with.
* * *
Josh
* * *
“So, what do you have in mind?” I asked. I stood on the beach with Amy looking out to the horizon. Whispers of the fresh morning breeze caressed my skin and rustled the leaves of the surrounding palm trees.
The day was at that awakening phase after sunset that I used to like in my diligent days. I would have already been up hours ago, training at the stadium before the guys all got there.
I’d start with a hundred laps around the field, then I’d do some plyometric and circuit training. By the time the team was all there I’d be all revved up and ready for a great training session.
“We will sit here.” She brought a folder and that padded notebook that annoyed me so much.
She pointed to a spot on the sand that was perfect for sitting idly and watching the surrounding landscape.
I sat when we got there, crossed my legs, and looked up at her. She looked away and sat opposite me. Something was off about her today. I knew I’d pissed her off the last few days because I couldn’t wake up, but there was something else going on with her.
“I wanted to go through these questions on the list Zelda sent. The rep is coming tomorrow and they want you to be comfortable answering some of the potential questions you could be asked on the show.”
“I’m not commenting about my family, if that’s what they want.” These things tended to be so invasive, and media officials often had no regard for privacy. All they wanted was their story. And they’d get it at any expense.
“I’ve already told them not to ask you anything in relation to your private life or those related to you.” She smiled.
I was impressed she’d told them that. “What do they want to know?”
“Well, the first question is are you looking forward to this season. Which is fine. However, I don’t particularly like the next few questions. Zelda said that you should see how you feel in answering them.”
“What are they?”
“Do you think this season will be better than the last? And, what would you do differently this season that you didn’t do last season? I don’t think that you should answer those questions.”
Well, well, she was quite good, and surprisingly intuitive. There was no way I could answer any of those questions without talking about what happened with my mother and sister. I only played one game last season, so what was I supposed to say?
“Unless you want to,” she added.
“I don’t. So Kansas, what do you suggest?” I leaned forward and she glared at me like I’d just said something wrong.
“Is there some reason why you can’t call me Amy? You called me Amy several times yesterday. Why can’t you stick with it?”
I couldn’t believe she could get so worked up over such a little thing. But since it annoyed her, I was only going to keep doing it. Also, I had no recollection of callin
g her Amy yesterday.
“I can’t remember seeing you yesterday.” I couldn’t. Yesterday had been a low day and I drank from the minute my eyes opened. It was the stress of Friday getting to me.
Now she looked at me with a deadpan expression. “You don’t remember seeing me yesterday?”
“No, did you come to work?”
“How do you forget a whole day? Who does that?” She frowned.
This was what I meant about her being off. But I couldn’t put my finger on what her problem was. “Clearly me.”
“You could have killed someone and not remember,” she retorted.
“Did I?” Because maybe I did from the way she was going on.
“No.” She looked down to her notes and tucked a lock of her golden hair behind her ear.
It couldn’t have been the whole Kansas thing she was annoyed about. Something must have happened.
“Let’s just stick to the plan. It doesn’t matter what you call me. All that matters is we get to the show on Friday.”
I wouldn’t care normally, and normally I wouldn’t care about whatever was eating at her, but something held my interest and I was suddenly searching my mind.
I studied her and watched her flick through her folder, then she undid her jacket, revealing a dark pink t-shirt that fitted her slender curves perfectly. I couldn’t help myself; while she was distracted with her paperwork I stared at her breasts, and that was when the full memory of yesterday hit me.
Shit, I remembered everything. Damn, every single detail. Particularly how her nipples had hardened as I sucked on her breast.
I also remembered that she had kissed me back. I remembered how her lips felt, and how she tasted. Like forbidden fruit that was sweet and tempting and…
I really shouldn’t have kissed her. And why in hell would she kiss me back? She couldn’t stand me.
That didn’t make any sense.
What made even less sense was how I could have forgotten the whole event.
I wouldn’t lie, I wanted her. But that was how I felt about all women who were beautiful and attractive. I would be the perpetual playboy because I loved women too much. Bereaved or not, that was how I was. And, sure, I’d made the occasional attempt to hit on her, hoping I’d get lucky, but I didn’t think she’d fall for it.
What happened yesterday?
“I think you should focus on your team.”
Was it just me, or did she seem annoyed that I couldn’t remember, and more than the fact that she should be more irked that I’d tried something like that with her.
“Like how?” Best to drop it. We had bigger fish to fry. It was nice, though, to have had her like that. It felt like I’d made some kind of conquest.
“Talk about what you like, how you guys work together.” The beginning of a smile tipped at the corners of her delicate mouth, drawing my attention to her glossy pink lips.
Corey was right about her help. I needed it. It made me wonder what sort of work she’d done previously and what her story was. I wondered what would make her put up with me the way she had over the last few weeks.
“If you talk about that then that would lead to other things you want to talk about. It kind of locks them into a topic, and it would be hard to branch away. Plus, it would make them look bad if they tried to pry.”
“Looks like we’re onto something.” I pointed out.
She looked at me as I said that and smiled. “Look at us, we’re agreeing.” Her smile widened and I found myself fascinated with the warmth that rippled from it.
“Don’t get all kumbaya on me.”
She smirked. “I wasn’t going to.”
I flicked my legs out so I could lie back on the sand. “Good, I wouldn’t want you to go soft on me…Amy.” I turned my head to face her and saw that she was looking at me. Surprise tickled her pretty face. I resisted the temptation to stare and instead gazed ahead at the gulls that flew past screeching. I looked far out to the brighter horizon that showed off the blend of colors the sun cast onto the sea, making it sparkle in the bright morning light.
I still didn’t know if I could go through all of this. It was going to be difficult. While I knew there were boundaries and people would try to be sensitive, there was a chance I’d end up talking about my mother and sister at some point.
I’d just have to see what happened, and try. I wanted to play football again. I knew that truth, so I had to let that desire guide me.
Chapter 9
Josh
* * *
I didn’t have as much to drink last night. Just one can of beer. It was the least amount I’d had in months.
I wanted another, and my usual bottle of wine and rum, but I miraculously found the strength to resist.
I’d distracted my mind with some old recordings of the last three years’ worth of games. I used to do this a lot, that way I could help with game strategies. I’d look at how the game played out: who did what, what worked, what didn’t. It was something I was really good at.
I had always planned to coach one day, but that would be when I was too old to play. Carl Ferguson, who played for the Centaurs, was the oldest player in the football world. He was in his mid-forties and would be forty-six next year. There was no talk of his retirement. He was one of their best players, too valuable to lose.
I hoped to be like that. So I was good for another couple of years. The question was what I was going to do with those years, and it started now.
To make sure I got enough sleep I went to bed at a reasonable time and set my alarm for five. Again, that was something I hadn’t done in such a long time I forgot what it felt like to wake up at that hour. I felt surprisingly alert, like traces of my old self was peeking through the guarded wall of grief that suppressed me.
I showered and got ready, dressing in a hooded jacket and jogging pants. While I waited for the Disney princess I did some sit-ups and crunches. I also thought I’d take a walk on the beach, too, when she finished with me. I didn’t know what she had planned for today yet, but I wanted to do that. The beach soothed me. It was one of the perks of living so close.
Amy was still annoyed at me by the time she left yesterday; I couldn’t worry about that. I was thinking about what I needed to do to sort myself out.
I sat by the French windows in my room, waiting for her to come. Just before six I heard the front door open, then some shuffling around. I then heard her coming up the stairs praying. I wondered if that was it, maybe she used to be a nun. It would explain the uptightness and the prudish attitude towards sex.
Maybe she left the convent and was trying her hand at something new so she needed the money to get her foot in.
She took caution in opening the door and came inside holding a large can of whipped cream. When she saw my empty bed her face fell and she looked panicked.
She was wearing a cute little top today. Super girlie with its candy colors and ruffles. I liked her hair too. It was up in a loose bun on top of her head. Her hair off her face made her look even younger and drew attention to the sharp definition in her high, exotic cheekbones.
“I’m here, Kansas, and if that cream isn’t for me to use on you get rid of it.”
Her head whipped up at the sound of my voice and she looked truly shocked to see me, but happy at the same time.
“You’re awake?”
“Well spotted, princess.”
She smiled at me and I felt that warmth again.
I stood up, put my hood up and made my way past her. “You coming?” I asked, because she still looked so surprised.
“Yeah.”
We did some more interview preparation because the rep was coming today, then we talked about the appearances and photo shoots she’d booked me in even though I said I didn’t want to do it. She advised that doing things like that was good because it created good press and had the added benefit of turning the media attention away from my family. I liked that she was so sensitive and protective. I absolutely didn’t want to ans
wer any questions about how I was feeling or how the incident affected me.
When the rep and Zelda arrived I was in much better shape. In body and mind. I didn’t know the rep, but Zelda looked quite impressed with me. All dealings I’d had with her, over the last few months in particular, had been terrible and we’d ended up arguing. It was good that she could see that I was trying. By the time the rep finished and they were done, she looked satisfied with my comments and at ease.
Amy did too.
“What now?” I asked Amy once they’d left. She’d just walked into the office and taken her seat around the desk.
“I get back to work. Lots of emails to respond to and people to call back.”
I wondered what everyone wanted but guessed I’d find out soon. She seemed to be quite good at this and I wondered again what her former job was.
“What did you do before coming here to work for me?”
The question threw her and she looked surprised by it. She straightened up and pulled in a breath.
“I was a PA for the editor in chief at Style Magazine in New York.”
Fashion. That explained a lot. I was used to Allegra and Cindy who always looked great, but there was a certain class about Amy that made me want to look and appreciate the efforts she made. Like the top she wore today. It looked beautiful but she’d given it more class by adding a small hummingbird broach near her right shoulder. The bird had blue gems encrusted on its pure gold body.
The attention diverted my focus towards the intricacy of the broach and away from the slight hint of cleavage she displayed. If it was either Allegra or Cindy, then there would be no end to the amount of breast they showed. Not that I complained. It was just a distinction I noticed.
“Sounds interesting.”
“It was great.”
I wanted to ask why she left but didn’t, I didn’t want to pry too much. She hadn’t pried with me, and there was a lot to pry about.
Play of Love: The Gladiator Players Box Set Page 8
