by R. A. Evans
Of course, it wasn’t until much later that the meaning of the small wooden crosses truly sunk in. As he had watched the bodies of the hospital staff being zippered into plastic bags and ushered into waiting hearses for delivery to their grieving family members, Buck had noted with a pang of shame that the tattered remains of patients had been merely wheeled away on gurneys deep into the bowels of the building Not even death, it seemed could grant a soul release from the Lake View Asylum.
Sighing, Buck turned from the lake and retreated along the path to the house. At the door he retrieved his bag and stepped into the empty house. He found his way up the stairs and into the guest room, still avoiding the bed he had shared for so many years with his wife. Stripping down to his boxers, Sheriff Buck Tanner slid between the cool sheets and despite the late hour and comfortable surroundings, waited unsuccessfully for sleep to grant him release from this living nightmare.
August 19, 2010
Bedlam Falls, Michigan
Man cannot live by pie alone. As much as Brady hated the thought of grocery shopping he knew the remnants of Maddie’s apple pie wouldn’t get him and Gruff through another day; nor would the half gallon of milk that the Griggs’s had left for him in the fridge. Begrudgingly, he set out for Kroger’s with Gruff riding shotgun.
He took the scenic route, driving past some of the landmarks and places he had frequented as a teenager. Everything looked smaller; buildings, parks, even the trees. Brady spied the shallow creek near the curve where Stewart Road hugged the train tracks, and smiled at the memory of hunting the murky waters for bullfrogs. The bike ride home, one-handed and cradling two of the largest frogs he had ever seen, had been quite the adventure. The real fun, however, began when his mother discovered the frogs in her bathtub.
The wind through the windows blew the worries free from Brady’s cluttered mind, creating some breathing room. The last several months had proven nearly unbearable; a merry-go-round of emotions and activity that in many ways still had his head spinning.
As the Janie Pearce story grew legs it also grew teeth, eating into every waking moment of Brady’s life. What started as a sad, but simple story about a soccer mom’s unfortunate homicide quickly spiraled into a much larger project; ten column inches that would change his life forever.
It was around this same time that he and Karen had started trying to get pregnant. She was entering her final semester of law school and studying for the Bar Exam. Firms from across the country were courting her, yet Karen had her mind set on working for a small non-profit that provided free legal services to the disadvantaged. Even Karen had been surprised by her father’s angry reaction. The announcement of her pregnancy only added fuel to the fire.
“You are throwing your life away, not to mention our family’s reputation; and for what, this…pipe-dream?” Thomas Greene was pacing back and forth like a caged lion in the kitchen of Brady and Karen’s tiny apartment. Her mother, Tess, sat quietly with Brady sipping at a glass of wine. What was supposed to be a happy occasion had taken its usual left turn into outrage.
“How much,” he continued, drawing his checkbook from his breast pocket and laying it out on the table. “How much to make you forget this insanity?”
This was a Greene solution to every problem; throw money at it, but Karen would have none of it.
“You are unbelievable!” It was the first time Brady had witnessed his wife standing up to her father. From Greene’s reaction, eyes wide open and mouth agape, it was his first time, too. “This is my life, not yours! Not everything in this world revolves around you.”
Then walking closer to him she pointed a finger at him and continued, “As far as this family’s reputation, what have you done to foster that reputation? You’ve spent all of your life living off of grandfather’s name, grandfather’s wealth. Your place in this world has nothing to do with your good works or your efforts. You sit where you are today, with your society friends and important connections, only because of the name you bear. Thomas Greene, as if it were a badge of honor. But I know you. I know the man you are…the father you are. And if grandfather were alive today he would not be honored by the son who bears his name, he would be disgraced!”
Karen had turned from him then, tears welling in her eyes, and retreated from the kitchen to the bedroom. The final realization of the man her father truly was overwhelmed her. Karen’s sobs penetrated the apartment’s paper-thin walls.
Thomas Greene’s expression quickly changed from shock back to anger as he caught Brady’s steely glare. Pen in hand, he scribbled something onto a check, tore it free from the book and then replaced the book in his jacket pocket.
“I believe that was our invitation to leave, dear,” he said stiffly as he reached for his wife’s elbow to help her from the chair. Tess withdrew from her husband’s touch as if pained, and slowly stood on her own. Though small in stature, standing no more than five-foot-two-inches tall in her trademark heels, Tess Greene commanded a room. Brady could feel his father-in-law’s overbearing personality shrink as Tess took control of the situation.
“Brady dear, if you would be so kind, could you fetch my things?”
Brady did as requested and helped his mother-in-law into her expensive cashmere overcoat. Thomas remained rooted in place, red faced and silent.
Tess turned and wrapped her arms around Brady, the first real sign of affection she had ever shown him. Although never impolite, Brady hadn’t exactly felt that he had won his mother-in-law over. Oddly, he sensed that something had now drastically changed.
“Take care of her, Brady,” she whispered. “I’ll be in touch.” Releasing Brady, Tess Greene turned and walked to the door. “Thomas.” The word slithered through her lips dripping with venom.
Thomas Greene straightened his tie and brushed by Brady to follow his wife from the apartment. He paused at the open door and then retraced his steps to stand before Brady.
“I left it blank,” staring icily at his son-in-law as he shoved the check into Brady’s chest. “You fill in the amount,” his voice now thick with contempt. “Give it to charity. Hell, give yourself a raise, Tanner. With neither of you gainfully employed it looks like I’ll be supporting you and your child, too.” He stared down at Brady and added,” We both know this is what you’re after anyway.”
Of course, months later, and in the solitude of his car, Brady could reflect on the occasion and think of a dozen razor-sharp retorts that would have cut the man to the bone. But at the time, he could only stare after the man in disbelief as Thomas Greene, the prick of all pricks, strutted through the open door, slamming it in his wake.
Brady hadn’t mentioned the check to Karen; instead deciding to hide it away. Not that he had any plans for it. On the contrary, he wanted nothing to do with his father-in-law’s money; but when an opportunity had presented itself, both to do some good and to finally take his own jab at Thomas Greene, Brady couldn’t resist.
Thomas Greene’s surprising $25,000 donation to Pride Chicago, a grassroots gay and lesbian awareness organization, had been lauded publicly, yet derided privately; especially in the conservative circles in which he often traveled.
Thanks to Thomas Greene’s generosity, Pride Chicago’s president had proclaimed from the steps of city hall during the annual parade and rally, his organization’s message of tolerance and understanding would be part of a new curriculum being implemented throughout the Windy City’s public school system. The news had spread quickly and the memory of the coverage made Brady snicker.
So, maybe the prick does have some cause to be pissy with me. Brady acknowledged as he drove. Regardless, he knew it wasn’t a question of if the snake would call again, but of when, and Brady vowed the next time he would be ready.
Very few situations can leave a man feeling as helpless and lost as being turned loose and alone in an unfamiliar grocery store. It had taken every ounce of courage Brady could muster, but he had fought the urge to turn tail and run back to the car where Gruff was wait
ing. He knew from his passenger’s hungry eyes that to come back empty handed would not be tolerated.
Gruff was already a bit perplexed at being left alone in the car even with the windows all partly down, and adding injury to that insult would surely result in some kind of backlash. The last thing Brady wanted were Gruff’s little surprise packages scattered throughout the house. Best to keep him happy, Brady concluded as he pushed his rickety shopping cart aimlessly up and down the aisles.
He hadn’t thought to make a list; that was his first mistake. Grocery lists had always been Karen’s responsibility. Since Karen’s death, the bulk of his shopping had been done via Chinese take-out menus. Sadly, Bedlam Falls was lacking in that department, thus he would be forced to resort to the dreaded grocery store. He could find the alcohol pretty easily in a grocery store, as for where the canned foods were in relation to the fruits and vegetables; Brady was at a complete loss.
His last solo excursion into a grocery store had been the worst shopping experience of his life. Shortly after they had been married Karen had sent him to the corner market for a box of tampons; Brady had been mortified. He only vaguely understood the mechanics involved in using a tampon and as he stood in front of the shelf, eyeing what appeared to be an endless sea of options; Brady could feel a growing wave of panic growing inside. There was regular, super, and super plus; whatever that meant. Add in the confusion of the pads, both maxi and mini and some even with wings. Brady was as close to a full blown panic attack as was humanly possible sweat, pouring from him as he looked furtively over his shoulder at the imagined glares of the other women in the store. His only other experience related to choosing a specific size of anything for Karen had not ended well. While they were dating Brady has picked out a sundress at a swank, over-priced boutique. He had wanted to surprise Karen for her birthday; and oh what a surprise it turned out to be. Brady had learned the hard way about the difference between a ladies size four and fourteen. Karen had been outraged that he would even consider her a size fourteen. Her reaction had flooded his thoughts as he stood in front of the tampons. Brady had cringed at the thought of what the reaction would be to the wrong size in this instance. Fortunately, he had grabbed the “regular” sized box and not a word beyond thank you had ever been mentioned.
Brady steered his squeaky cart towards the checkout. Beyond beer and dog food, he didn’t know what else he had picked up, but the cart was nearly overflowing. He glanced at his watch, twenty minutes, not too bad at all, as if it were some kind of race.
The line was horribly long and it felt like an hour before Brady was able to start unloading his items onto the conveyor belt. As he watched the items make slow progress towards the register, he was struck by just how haphazard his shopping had been. Plus, it screamed bachelor. There were Funyons and beer, frozen pizza, ice cream and the assorted toppings, Cocoa Puffs cereal, pop tarts, and an odd mix of other items that he had no recollection of tossing into the cart. He was pondering this when a voice stirred him from his jumbled thoughts.
“I.D. please, sir.”
Brady felt his face redden as he reached for his wallet to retrieve his driver’s license. He handed it over and added sheepishly, “Sorry, I was just ….thinking.”
The cashier took his license and studied it carefully. Brady raised his eyes from the groceries to the woman’s face as she spoke.
“You forgot the bananas,” she stated and then smiled. “I seem to recall that you always liked bananas with your ice cream.”
Brady stared in puzzlement, unsure of how to respond. “I…uh…excuse me?”
The woman’s smile widened as she continued. “Or have you outgrown the banana splits?”
In that instant Brady’s eyes traveled from the woman’s face to the name tag on her blue smock. Brady’s already reddened face flamed to an even deeper shade of crimson.
Of course, he told himself. Her blonde hair was shorter now, hanging loose above her shoulders, but the splash of freckles across her nose and cheeks marked her as his April.
They shared uncomfortable laugh followed by a nervous silence before Brady collected his thoughts and found his voice.
“So, uh…still in Bedlam Falls, huh?”
April cast her eyes back to the groceries and continued scanning the items. “Yeah, life doesn’t always work out like you planned.” She paused, and then added, “I’m sorry about your parents, Brady.”
“Yeah,” he replied, thinking about his own life over the past 18 months, “full of surprises.”
The crackle of the overhead pager interrupted the conversation. “Clean up in aisle five, April. We need clean up in aisle five.”
Brady laughed. “So what’s in aisle five?”
“It’s the breakfast aisle,” April replied, and then muttering, “but something tells me it’s not cereal I’ll be cleaning up.”
Brady chuckled as he paid for his groceries. “Better you than me.”
April’s frown eased into a loose smile. “Gotta run, but I’ll be at Charlie’s tonight about seven. First split is on me.”
Brady watched her turn and walk towards aisle five. Wow, April Mayer all grown up. He thought as he wheeled his squeaky cart of groceries into the parking lot, and then it dawned on him, and still taller than me!
Brady arrived at Charlie’s shortly after 6:30 and laid claim to a picnic table in the shade. Gruff sat at his feet panting in the evening heat. The pair had spent the better part of the day puttering around the Up North House; Brady had witnessed the Tigers get pounded by the Royals while Gruff kept watch. The usually lazy dog hadn’t quite yet grown comfortable in his new surroundings. Truth be told, Brady wasn’t entirely comfortable either.
He still found himself avoiding his parent’s room; doing his best to keep those memories tucked neatly behind the closed door at the end of the hallway. The problem was, however, each and every room, piece of furniture, and knick-knack carried the weight of some memory. Fortunately, bumping into April had provided and unexpected bounce to his step… and a pang of unforeseen guilt.
Brady found himself playing with his wedding ring; twirling it about his finger. It was a nervous habit he had picked up after Karen’s death; a comforting reminder that he always carried a little piece of her heart with him. Today, it made his finger itch. Guilt, he thought, and I haven’t even done anything. He was going to add yet, but reconsidered.
Instead, Brady turned his attention to what he was wearing. Although his cargo shorts, Pearl Jam concert t-shirt, and black Chuck Taylor’s looked casual, it had taken way too much effort and energy to look this hip. He had felt like a teenager while trying on outfits in front of his mirror. Now, he felt like an old man trying to act young. Brady was so caught up with his tangled thoughts, not to mention trying to keep his stomach sucked in, that he didn’t notice April’s approach.
“You see honey; this is what a stranger looks like. You never ever want to talk to someone who looks like this.”
Brady coughed nervously as he looked up from his sucked in stomach to find April standing over him. Beside her was a child, a miniature version of the fetching woman that still, it would seem could take his breath away.
Brady rose to his feet, trying his best to suppress his lopsided grin. “Yes, sweetie, it’s true. This is indeed what a stranger looks like.” Brady squatted down to be eye-level with the young girl, “But my name is Brady, and this here is my dog Gruff. And strangers are only strangers until you know their names.” And then stealing a glance up at April, “Besides, I’ve known your mommy here for a very long time.”
The girl responded with a toothless smile. “My name is Abby Mayer and I am five and a half years old and I have a goldfish at home because mom says dogs poop on the carpet.”
Brady laughed, “Well, your mom is right. Gruff has had a couple accidents. But he’s a really good dog. You can pet him if you want, especially behind his ears, he loves that.”
With introductions over, Abby eagerly pounced on Gruff. He ret
urned the attention with a very wet kiss and the two were quickly becoming acquainted.
“I see you brought your bodyguard,” Brady teased as he stepped towards April. Dressed in a pale yellow sundress and chunky sandals, April returned his smile and nervously tucked her hair behind her ear.
“Yeah,” she countered, “although I prefer to think of her as my man-repellant.”
After an awkward silence, Brady invited her to the table to sit down. They sat quietly watching Abby and Gruff frolic in the grass.
“Let’s see who gets tired first,” Brady said. “My money is on Abby.”
Laughing, “I’ll take that bet, and your money. Abby doesn’t get tired. Even as a baby she hardly ever slept.”
Brady joined in her laughter. “She’s beautiful,” he added, “must get it from her dad.”
Aprils smile softened as she turned away. “So did you decide on a banana split or are you trying something different?”
Brady cringed at what he had just said. Smooth. He berated himself. “Um…I really hadn’t given it much thought. Just know that Gruff wants a dish of vanilla.”
Her smile returned, “You feed him ice cream?”
“We’re roommates,” Brady replied shrugging. “Split the tab right down the middle. He eats what I eat.”
“Don’t forget,” April countered, “I saw firsthand what your grocery shopping consists of, somebody should call PETA on you!”
“Then you should know that Funyons are all vegetable; potatoes for the fun and onions for the,” Brady paused, “yons.”
April’s snorting laughter echoed across the picnic tables. Even Gruff stopped in mid-romp with Abby and cocked his head; his oversized yellow ears perking up.
