She dug her nails into her palms to resist scrambling away. Ox wasn’t trying to hurt her. The spirit craved contact with her.
Possibly as much as Kassian did.
She brushed her fingers against the giant’s hoof. Glittery scales raised on the skin of her hand and forearm. Snake said hello back, perhaps for the first time in centuries.
No one knew much about Snake, other than his previous host, Zhao, was an asshole of the highest degree. The Jade Emperor hadn’t bestowed the spirit upon him, rather, Lucy’s father had stolen Snake and given it to Zhao. A couple of months ago, Lucy stole it back. Since she also hosted the Rabbit, inside her, Snake had assumed the backseat to Rabbit.
Snake was free and in the forefront again. Despite every concern of Kassian’s, Nat refused to believe the spirit might be evil. Snake craved what everyone did.
Unconditional acceptance.
Ox lowed. The deep rumble echoed through her core, rattling her bones. The pain in her elbow dissipated in waves until it vanished.
Ox faded out and Kassian returned. His greenish-brown eyes remained fixed on her with a heated possessiveness. Talk about making her self-conscious.
“Better?” The residual husk of his voice resembled Ox’s. Was he as unnerved as she by the encounter?
A connection had sparked. Whether from Ox and Snake’s kinship or an attraction between herself and Kassian, she wasn’t sure.
She palpated her elbow. Healed.
“It’s the circle.” Kassian cleared his throat, but his Australian accent was still thick. “As Chosen, we can heal each other. As long as we’re together, we’re strong.”
Were she and Kassian together? She opened her mouth to respond, but no words fluttered from her mouth. Tender and caring Kassian still existed. He’d looked out for her as he always had.
Soon, she would abandon him. Again. He didn’t deserve this. Guilt threatened to seize her chest, so she glanced aside.
The Snake was all she needed to finally fulfill her vows—not the ones to the Lotus League, or to the Chosen. Nat’s vows. The ones that trumped all others and would damn her soul… But some things were worth damnation.
“Hey. You okay?” He stroked her cheek once, but pulled back as though the contact had seared him. As it should. She’d burned that bridge between them for a reason. She might be guilty of charring his heart once, but she wouldn’t be twice.
“Yes. Fine. Thanks.” Hopping to her feet, she slapped her resolve across her heart, hardening her sentimentality. Focus on the mission. Nothing else matters.
No room for Nat. The silly girl with the foolish dreams.
She’d died the day she’d sliced her palm across the Matchmaker’s blade.
***
Kassian threw his strength into his jabs. The punching bag accepted his beating, all of his frustration and confusion. Having Nat back made him question every truth, every reality he’d created. As much as he hated himself for it, he couldn’t stop the hope. The need. The wanting.
He’d missed her so bloody much.
After their awkward swim, she’d gone off with Lucy to meditate in the temple. Thank fuck for that. If he spent some time away from her, maybe he could figure out how to maneuver through the Matchmaker’s latest chessboard.
“That bad, huh?” Sheng strolled into the gym, prowling toward him.
Oh, hell no. Not this talk. Kassian threw a few more punches, hoping his friend would get the idea and keep his trap shut.
“I’m not blind.” Sheng crossed his arms as he leaned against the wall to the side of the punching bag.
“I could make you that way.” Thrust. Jab.
“Well, you might be fine, but I sense the unease in Ox. As your leader, it’s my—”
Kassian scoffed. “Save your leader speech. Nat’s an old friend. Nothing more.”
“What about the Matchmaker?” One of Sheng’s brows lifted. “That bitch has a nasty habit of playing with her food. She mentioned Nat is a Lotus.”
“Did you know?”
“Fuck no. The Matchmaker has dozens of tricks up her sleeves and countless members in her secret league of assassins.” He uncrossed his arms. “I saw how you looked at Nat.”
Kassian didn’t respond. Sheng could connect all the fucking dots he liked. Didn’t mean Kassian would tell him what the picture was.
“I let you take her away from the meeting in KL.”
Kassian narrowed his eyes.
Sheng shrugged. “Okay, Lucy suggested it, but I agreed. We don’t want to see you get hurt.”
Too late. Instead of replying, Kassian pummeled the bag. “I won’t. Celibate, remember? I’m not looking to get laid.”
“Who mentioned anything about getting laid? I meant your fucking heart and you know it.”
He rolled his eyes. Ever since Sheng had met Lucy, he considered himself an expert in the love department. “Hell, you interviewing for the Matchmaker’s day job?”
“Shit no. Just looking out for one of my own.” He cracked his neck and rolled his shoulders. “I’m sorry about putting Snake in her, but we had no other choice. We need Snake.”
Kassian wound his fist, ready to strike, but paused at Sheng’s words. “Yeah, you did. You have no idea what Snake could do to her.” Placing his hands on the swinging bag, he steadied it.
“We won’t let anything happen to her. You have my word. We’ll do everything it takes to keep her safe. I’ll get Snake to join with Tiger, and you,” he thrust a finger at Kassian, “you watch over her. The slightest hint of Snake doing any evil shit, and we’ll go to the Matchmaker. Together.”
The pressure in Kassian’s chest eased. Sheng, his leader, had his back. He’d given Kassian the go-ahead to pursue his goal—proving Snake’s malevolence. And he would. He cracked his knuckles and faced Sheng. Oh, he would.
“Enough of the bloody heart-to-hearts.” Sheng grinned. “Let’s spar.”
“Now, you’re talking.” Kassian ditched the punching bag for the real thing, launching at Sheng.
Tiger was by far the best fighter of the bunch, but what Ox lacked in grace and speed, it made up for in sheer strength and brute force. And bull-headed determination.
Sheng leapt out of Ox’s path, over its horns, and landed in a crouch. Kassian reared, spun, and lunged forward.
Again, Sheng darted out of his path. “You’re distracted,” he taunted.
Kassian’s chest heaved as the taunting galled Ox. Like a bull fighter, Sheng danced around him, weaving in and out of the beast’s path and agitating Ox further.
Sheng’s actions brought him to the brink of… Dammit. Sheng was doing this on purpose. His friend sought to break him, get him to admit emotions Kassian wasn’t willing to name. If he felt anything toward Nat, it was the sting of betrayal at her disappearance. And frustration. Oh yeah, he was bloody pissed at being thrust into this situation with Nat.
Kassian’s body convulsed from the tremors of his rampage as every ounce of agitation burst through his veins. He opened his mouth and released a war cry, planting his feet for a final charge. This time, rather than letting Sheng lead, he waited until Tiger’s blue-gray eyes glinted in triumph as though it had the upper hand.
Kassian rammed forward, straight into the massive feline. He smacked it to the floor, pinning Tiger beneath Ox’s enormous weight.
The air whooshed out of Sheng’s lungs. A sickening snap cracked the air. Definitely a broken rib or two. Lightning fast, Kassian uncloaked the beast, scrambling off his friend. A feminine cry rang out from the doorway, and he lifted his head to Lucy.
Damn.
“I’m fine.” Sheng hissed as Lucy sank to her knees beside him, already cloaking the Rabbit to form the circle and heal him.
Kassian shot to his feet and backed away, scowling at his hands.
“Hey.” A light weight on his arm jolted him. He twisted around to find Nat watching him with more than concern etched into her features.
“We were sparring. We do it all the time.”
He mumbled excuses, but he’d never caused serious harm to Sheng on purpose before. Damn Ox for being blundering, and damn himself for losing his temper.
“He’s fine. Look.” She jerked her chin toward Sheng and Lucy, who were lip-locked, as usual.
The pinched nerve in Kassian’s chest eased but Sheng’s injury was still his fault. If he’d kept a better rein on his emotions, he would’ve controlled Ox better and Sheng wouldn’t have been hurt.
Sheng drew back from Lucy for a second to cast him a shit-eating grin.
Nope, take that back. He fisted his hands to stop from breaking a few more of Sheng’s ribs. The bastard had let him charge. Had goaded him into it and borne the full blunt.
To prove he was right, and Kassian wasn’t.
Not right in the head. Not right in the heart.
Scowling, he pried Nat’s grip off his arm and stormed from the room.
***
Kassian stormed through the swinging doors with a fuck-everyone attitude, the doors banging into the walls before slamming shut behind him.
Because of me. Nat approached Sheng. “Are you okay?”
“Yep. Fine.” He grinned at her while stroking Lucy’s cheek. His dark brows knit together. “Are you?”
“Of course.” She crossed her arms. “He kinda has every right to act like such a jackass. We didn’t part ways on friendly terms.” Or any terms. After she’d sent that text, she’d stopped calling, stopped visiting. Stopped…everything.
After she’d decided to accept the Matchmaker’s offer, she’d erased her identity. No address, no phone number, no email. Had Kassian come searching for her? If he had, he wouldn’t have found a trace. The Matchmaker was meticulous like that.
“Yeah, and he’s a stubborn fuck, so it’ll take him time.” Sheng’s tone softened. “Don’t feel like you don’t belong here. You’re one of us, Nat. Snake needs us and we need Snake.”
His reassurance made a smile tug at her lips. She’d encountered several other Lotus League members, but they were never more than associates. Lotus worked alone unless the job called for backup.
Family they were not.
For a short while, she would belong to two worlds. As much as being a Chosen crushed her even more beneath the Matchmaker’s heels, it also gave her freedom. Relationships, like those within the Chosen, were a luxury she’d been denied. Even if her place here wasn’t permanent, the desire to experience this camaraderie burned inside her chest.
“How did your meditation go?” Sheng asked Lucy.
She snuggled into his lap and patted the mat beside her for Nat to sit. “Pretty well. Snake and Rabbit aren’t the best of friends, but now they’re more familiar with each other. Tiger might accept Snake.”
“Really?” Sheng sent Nat a big grin. “Well, are you up for it? We’d love to have you on board unless, of course, you’d rather join with Dragon?” He shrugged. “Your choice.”
The instant he posed the question, she knew what she should choose. And what she would.
“Tiger.”
Kassian belonged with Tiger. The yin-yang leadership of Tiger and Dragon allowed for the other Chosen to join with either side, but not belonging to the same faction as Kassian felt wrong.
Despite what little sense that made, the decision stuck with her.
“Let’s see if Snake’s ready. Hold out your hand.” Sheng extended his, steadfast and powerful. Tiger cloaked him, lengthening his fingers into claws poking from tufts of black-striped gray fur. In Tiger’s glinting eyes, she found the reassurance she’d been waiting for. The leader was choosing her.
“Go on,” Lucy encouraged.
Nat held out her hand, fingers sliding over Sheng’s. Sparks played across her skin, tingling down her spine. Sheng gripped her hand as Tiger cloaked him, the spirit’s essence greeting Snake.
The leader assumed his role, prying out the Snake. In a haze of blurred skin and scales, Snake fully cloaked her for the first time. A veil of power, energy, and clarity settled over her.
The ancient spirit’s essence hummed through her body, connecting her to a world she’d only dreamed about. To be Chosen was the greatest honor for a warrior.
She hadn’t been Chosen. She’d been handed this spirit in secret. Would the Jade Emperor punish her for presuming to bear such a responsibility?
The two Chosen in front of her didn’t seem to think so. She calmed her fears while Sheng murmured in low, soothing tones, and the edge of the Snake’s cloaking stretched outward, mingling with the Tiger’s.
Like in the circle.
This time, other essences mingled with Tiger’s—Rat’s, Monkey’s, and Ox’s. She struggled against leaping forward, toward Ox, and refocused on what Sheng was doing.
Mimicking a surgeon’s masterful skill with the scalpel, Sheng plucked a piece of Snake’s spirit, and drew it into his body. The others retreated too, as though a vacuum suctioned them inward. The haze dissipated until their spirits vanished.
Nat stared at her hands, still grasped in Sheng’s warm ones. He squeezed in reassurance, drawing her gaze to his face. “We’re family now.” He chanted in Mandarin, Lucy translating,
By blood and spirit
Human and animal
Chosen, united
Together, we are strong
Nat blinked at his words, but repeated them back. In Mandarin. The sounds rolled off her tongue even though she didn’t speak the language. Snake spoke for her. Wow. “How did I—”
“Snake.” Lucy smiled. “Your spirit must have a masterful gift with languages. Each of our spirits has different strengths and weaknesses. Guess you discovered one of yours.”
Amazing. Handy, too, especially for an assassin. She spoke bits and pieces of several dialects, but wasn’t fluent in any of them. The ability was like downloading the entire global database of languages into her head in an instant.
Sheng nodded. “Snake is an excellent communicator so this doesn’t surprise me.”
“Hey, it’s much cooler than any of my abilities. Hiding in the dirt being my greatest.” Lucy let out a self-deprecating laugh. Sheng caught her lips with his as if chasing away her inner demons. They melted into each other. With a simple kiss, they stepped out of the real world and into their own—leaving Nat alone.
Very alone.
She was accustomed to being by herself, though. As Sheng and Lucy waved goodbye and headed out of the training gym, Nat stayed, sitting on the mats and staring at her hands. What else did Snake have in store? Whatever destiny lay before her, one thing was certain. For the first time in her life, her fate was going to be her own.
Kassian dove into the pool and sighed as the cool water rushed over him. He’d skipped dinner in favor of beating his body into submission. How the hell would he survive the next few weeks? Touching Nat. Kissing Nat. Constantly being around her.
This mission would be like old times. Well, minus the kissing. Their first attempt at making out hadn’t ended well. Their second hadn’t been any better.
Fucking Matchmaker.
The love expert should know better than anyone not to screw around with someone’s heart. She seemed intent on doing just that with his. And Nat’s. He hadn’t a doubt Nat had disclosed their past to the Matchmaker.
He threw his arm over his head, slicing through the water while holding his breath until his vision blurred. Only when his lungs burned did he permit a breath. The welcome spike of adrenaline pounded through his system. Hell, since he’d given up sex and alcohol, this was the sole buzz he had left.
Contrary to what everyone believed, he hadn’t been addicted to the vices…but to the oblivion. Losing himself, for just one damn minute, made his existence more bearable.
With Nat, things had been different. She’d flown from America to his home in Australia during the summers and each time she visited, the great balloon of discord deflated. Without her visits, the disharmony, the rage, the strife expanded until, one day, it had ruptured.
He’d ruptured.
/> She’d been a part of his life for as long as he could remember. The best part. When she’d disappeared, his future had vanished too. Though he’d been young, his soul had known they belonged together. Her rejection had done more than wound his pride. Without her, he’d lost clarity.
And he’d rebelled. Hard.
Then one day, Sheng had found him. In a nightclub on the Gold Coast of Australia, something stronger than vodka lacing his drink. He’d been on a five-minute break from three blondes and one brunette slutting it up on the dance floor.
It’d taken the man several attempts to get Kassian’s attention, and even more before Kassian bought into the whole spirit animal routine. Several demonstrations later, though, and he hadn’t been able to deny that he’d been gifted Ox, probably since his birth. Not a day went by that he didn’t thank Sheng for his stubborn-assed persistence. Accepting Ox had saved him. Given him a new purpose, one the turbulence of his past couldn’t soil.
He didn’t need Nat anymore.
Splashing echoed from the far end of the pool. Kassian shoved off the wall and glided toward the noise. A few feet from the opposite end, he paused.
Nat dangled her toes in the water. “Hey.”
Dammit. He couldn’t get any peace, not even in here. “What do you want?”
“So, Snake joined with Tiger.” She kicked out her toes.
He shoved down the jolt of elation and kept the enthusiasm from leaking through his voice. “Yeah? Well, good for you.”
“We should talk. About the past. You must want answers.”
“No, actually, I’m fine.” He crossed his arms, struggling to affect the nonchalance his words implied. Hashing out emotional stuff was worse than chugging poison. At least poison would kill him after.
Talking made things awkward. Forever.
She stopped splashing her toes. Her warm, cocoa eyes narrowed. “I left you. Without a word. Without an explanation. It was wrong, and I’m sorry.”
He tensed. He’d rather stab knives into his ears than hear her apology. “I’m sure you had a good reason for joining the Matchmaker’s little gang, but I don’t care to know what it is. We’re cool.” He sent her a curt nod and dove into the water.
By the Horns Page 6
