CHAPTER FIVE
YOU
“Get my girls out of here!” my mom screamed out, seeing the five of us in a panic. “Stanley is going to be fine. I just know it, but they need to go. Someone get them out of here now.”
All of us were utter basket cases as we watched our unresponsive father lie helpless. None of us wanted to move or go anywhere, but my mom was adamant. Though she was trying to be positive, she didn’t want us seeing our father in this dire situation.
Ms. Pinky and the current mayor’s wife escorted us out of the room. We couldn’t leave behind the mayhem. Many people were trying to figure out what was wrong with my father. Doctors who were in attendance had come up on stage. The five of us knew nothing except we were being shoved into a limo.
“Please take them home, sir,” the mayor’s wife said to our limo driver.
But as soon as she stepped away, Shelby said, “No, no, no!. We’re not going anywhere. They can get us out of the room, but they can’t make us leave. Please wait a second.”
Ansli and Sloan were crying. Shelby and Slade were angry. I was still in shock. And when we heard an ambulance, we knew that wasn’t a good sign. Our father needed emergency attention. This was serious. It felt like hours went by as we sat and waited for the ambulance to get to moving.
After ten minutes, the limousine driver let down the window and asked, “Are you ladies ready to go now?”
Shelby yelled, “No, did we say we were ready? Shucks! We’re following the ambulance to the hospital when it leaves out. That’s where we’re going, and that’s when we’re moving.”
“But I have strict orders to take you to your residence,” he said, recalling the mayor’s wife’s direction.
Shelby leaned to the window. “Man, can you hear? Those plans have been amended, and we have money if we need to pay you more.”
“No, no, it’s covered. I just didn’t know. I’m sorry,” he said in a calming voice, realizing she was going to tear him to pieces if he didn’t concede.
“Yeah, you don’t have to bite off the man’s head,” I said to Shelby, wanting my sister to calm down. It was freaking me out that she was so upset.
“Don’t tell me how to respond, Yuri. Don’t tell me how to feel,” Shelby screamed.
“You don’t have to jump on Yuri!” Sloan yelled back at her.
I shouted, “No, it’s fine, Sloan. I can take whatever she’s dishing out. This is a lot. This is hard on all of us.”
“Yeah, we need to stick together,” Ansli said, helping me bring peace to the growing chaos. “We’re family. Let’s act like one.”
“If Dad is dead, what kind of family do we have?” Slade blurted out, quieting us all.
We were all way too stressed. Slade had a good point. If our dad was gone, we’d never be the same. It was taking the emergency crew an awful long time. Did that mean he was already gone? The waiting was torture.
Thankfully about five minutes later, the ambulance took off. Our mother had to be inside of it because we never saw her. Slade started praying. We grabbed on one another’s hands, bowed our heads, and joined her. When all their eyes were closed, I opened mine. I looked up out at the sky and just wished I could go back in time. If so, I would have told my mother what I witnessed with my dad, and then maybe all of this could have been avoided. My heart was heavy as I knew this was all my fault.
We couldn’t go as fast as the ambulance. So when we got to the hospital, the ambulance had already unloaded him. The five of us got out of the limo quicker than we’d ever gotten out of any vehicle.
Shelby rushed over to the desk, trying to find our mother. The four of us were circled together hoping for great news. Shelby didn’t look pleased when she came back over to brief us.
“I think she’s back there with him or something. Nobody is telling me anything. I don’t know what’s going on with our dad.” She went and sank on a nearby couch.
“If he was dead, we’d know,” Slade said, going over to Shelby to keep her uplifted.
“Yeah right, we’d know,” Sloan looked at Ansli and me and voiced hopefully.
Just then the mayor and his wife rushed into the emergency waiting room. He asked, “Have you girls heard anything?”
We all shook our heads. I saw his wife squinting, probably wondering why we defied her orders. I smiled her way hoping she’d not ask and just give us grace.
The mayor said, “Okay, I’m going to try and find some answers. Stay here with my wife. He’s going to be okay.”
“So he wasn’t dead on the scene?” Slade asked, sniffing.
“No, he still wasn’t responding, but he was with us,” the mayor said. “And ladies don’t worry, Charlotte has some of the finest physicians in this great hospital.”
The mayor was going on and on and on. I wanted to cut him off. We didn’t even need a political speech. We knew Charlotte was great, but at this moment we needed to know that our father was okay. And if he couldn’t tell us that, then he didn’t need to tell us anything.
“I thought you girls were going to go home?” his wife asked us once the mayor walked away to go find answers.
“If it was your dad, could you go home?” Shelby stood and said to her.
“Point taken,” his wife said. “I just wanted to honor your mother’s wishes. I do, however, understand. I surely would have come here too.”
We were all on edge. Seeing my sisters going through was eating me up even more. I needed space. I walked over to a corner to breathe.
Sloan followed. “What’s wrong?”
“Same thing that’s wrong with everybody,” I said to her, unable to look her way. “I’m worried about Dad.”
“No, no, no, I know you. Something else is going on. It’s like you’re carrying the weight of all this.”
When she said that, I busted out crying. “That’s because it’s my fault.”
She tried to grab my hand. “What are you talking about?”
I stepped back and shared, “I knew Dad was sick.”
Then she stepped back and looked at me wanting an explanation. I had to tell all at that point. Sloan wouldn’t let me if I decided to keep quiet now.
Tired of keeping what I kept a secret any longer, I shared, “I was with him a couple times, and he was faint and dizzy. He almost passed out, but he didn’t, and he made me promise not to say anything but …”
Rolling her eyes, she cut me off and asked, “Wait, you knew he wasn’t a hundred percent? You knew he was ill, and you didn’t tell?”
She was so loud. My sister and best friend’s eyes turned red, and her temples were bulging out. I had never seen someone so angry and so mad at me.
“Why would you not say anything? Why would you keep this to yourself? Why would you at least not tell me?”
“Because he made me promise!” I yelled back. “That’s what I was trying to tell you.”
“So what? That’s supposed to make it better that you betrayed us! Now he’s in there fighting for his life! He might even be gone, and you knew and you didn’t say anything!”
Feeling like she was squeezing my heart in her hand, I uttered, “But I couldn’t …”
Cutting me off again, she said, “What? You want our dad to be dead like your dad is? Is that what this is?”
At that point, she had said words that she couldn’t take back. She looked me dead in my eyes and said, “I hate you.”
Hearing her harsh words, I rushed out of the room, feeling forever broken. Even if my dad was okay, my relationship with my best friend could never be mended again. I sat alone and cried and cried and cried and cried, wanting my life to be better, but knowing it couldn’t be. Too much I had left unsaid, and I ruined my family.
“Oh my gosh, Yuri, there you are! Where is Slade?” Charlotte said to me.
Quickly, I started wiping my tears. I didn’t want her to see me so devastated. I was so choked up that I could barely get myself together. Charlotte draped her arms around me.
“
It’s going to be okay. Let it all out. I understand,” she said.
“It’s not going to be okay. You don’t understand,” I whimpered.
“You’ve got to believe that your dad is going to be okay. You’ve got to stay positive. Why aren’t y’all all together? Where are your sisters?” Charlotte said to me as she looked around for the other Sharp girls.
I couldn’t tell her why I was all alone. She’d hate me if she knew that had I opened my mouth, my dad might not be in this situation. I just cried harder until I saw Slade with Charlotte’s brother, Paris, coming around the corner.
“I found her, Charlotte,” Paris called out to his sister.
As they approached us, I completely turned my back to all three of them. I’m sure Sloan had told everyone what I had done. I didn’t want to hear Slade go off on me too. I was beating myself up enough anyway. If I could trade places with my dad lying in the hospital bed, I would have. Being me wasn’t working out.
“Your brother told me you were looking for me. You didn’t have to come,” I heard Slade say to Charlotte.
Charlotte said, “Of course I did. When my dad got home all in a panic about what he witnessed at the mayor’s ball, I had to be here for you. On the news it said which hospital your dad was in, so we came for support. Forget our beef. I’m here for you guys.”
The last time the two of them were together, there was much tension because Slade didn’t approve of Charlotte’s relationship. Thankfully, they threw all that out the window. My tough sister Slade didn’t break down like me, but she was talking to her girlfriend and singing partner. Slade was appreciative for her support.
Slade articulated, “I can’t believe I judged you, Charlotte. Life is so fragile. You’re here and fine one second, and then the next, you’re not. I thought I knew everything. I just want our group to have a chance, but I can’t rule your life.”
“I know, I know. I’ve been thinking about what you said, and can see how it would have freaked you out. I probably should have told you. But none of that is important right now. I just came to support you.”
As soon as I started to walk forward, Slade called my name. “You, don’t you dare go anywhere.”
The hasty tone she used made me run far away from her, straight out the doors of the hospital. I only hated that I didn’t have a car so that I could get in it and drive even further away. But there I stood out of breath at the corner of the hospital and a drug store.
“So you done running?” I heard Paris say.
I turned around. “Just go back. Leave me alone.”
“You need somebody to talk to, Yuri. It’s dark out here. You got on a dark dress. You look gorgeous by the way, but people can’t even see you. Come on back in. It can’t be that bad.”
Huffing I said, “You don’t know, okay.”
He touched my shoulders and said, “I got a pretty good idea of what you’re carrying around. Remember I was with you the other day when your dad was a little woozy.”
“Yeah, but what you don’t know is that he had another incident. When we left the concert, he had a charity event, and he passed out there too. I wanted to tell my mom. I wanted to tell my sisters. I wanted to say something, but he told me not to. He made me promise.”
“I get that. So why are you beating yourself up about it?”
“Because I shouldn’t have promised. It’s my dad’s health, and obviously I didn’t realize it was as serious as it was. I guess I told Sloan, thinking she’d take the weight off, understand, and make me feel better. We all know how stubborn my dad can be. Instead, she went off on me. I guess I was just living in la la land any way thinking I’m not to blame for all this. I did this.”
“Your father is an adult. He is the mayor-elect for goodness sake. Come on now, he knew what he was doing. You’re not responsible for his actions.”
“But I’m responsible for mine,” I said, looking up to the sky and wishing I was a star so I could disappear and illuminate brightness instead of the darkness I felt was clouding my family.
“Can I hold you?” he asked taking me off guard.
I just looked at him. Now wasn’t a time for me to get romantic. My world had fallen apart. My father was clinging on for his life. He had to know I wanted distance. Not caring what I wanted, he gave me what I needed. He held me and wouldn’t let go. I let out the tears I hadn’t finish crying with his sister on his shoulder.
“We’re young, Yuri. We’re not always going to make the right choices, but as long as your motives are pure and you’re trying your best, it will work out.”
“Even this?” I said to him.
“Even this,” he answered, giving me the comfort in his words that I needed.
“Come on, let’s go back over there with your sisters,” Paris said. “I’m sure that they’re not mad.”
“I just told you Sloan was. In my house, it’s always a chain reaction. So if she’s mad, everybody else is too.”
“Do you want to be afraid to face your sisters all your life? Okay, I get that you’re the baby. I’m the baby in my household too. And I’ve got an older brother, so I get the whole sibling thing, but there’s got to come a point when you’re tired of being pushed around. You didn’t do anything. And if you won’t say nothing, then I’ll stand up to whichever one of your sisters who’s got a problem with you about it,” Paris defended, ready to have my back.
“You’re sweet,” I said, smiling and starting to feel better. “Okay, how hard can it be?”
But as soon as I started walking around the corner, Sloan saw me and said, “How dare you show your face back over here? We’re waiting to hear what’s going on with Dad, and you knew and didn’t even say anything.”
“You too?” Shelby rushed over to me and said. I guess our oldest sister had been with our dad a couple of times too and saw he was less than stable. “I’ve been toiling so much, feeling bad about keeping all this a secret and you saw him weak too?”
I nodded. We just embraced. I was just waiting for Sloan to go off on Shelby, thinking she wouldn’t, but she did.
“This is crazy! Both of y’all think it’s okay, happy that the other was keeping this a secret too. We could have done something. We could have got him to the hospital before he ended up in the hospital, practically unable to come out. Both of you are idiots.”
“Why you thinking so negative?” Ansli asked her. “You see them beating themselves up about it.”
Sloan scoffed, “Whatever. Just like I told your sister, you know what … forget it.”
“No, what,” Ansli got in Sloan’s face and said. “What’d you tell Yuri? What do you, mean ‘my sister?’ We really going to do this? This is really going to be us against you guys?”
“No, we’re not going to do that!” Shelby said while frowning at Sloan.
Everybody was looking at me wondering what Sloan said? They all figured it was a repulsive statement. It absolutely was. I was heartbroken. I was hardly able to shake the fact that she accused me of wanting our parents to be dead like my birth parents were. I couldn’t even repeat that. I didn’t even want to put more hate out in the air that could never be taken back, so I just looked away.
“But what you accused me of …” I said to Sloan under my breath, “… would that be the same for Shelby? We were just trying to honor Dad’s wishes, keep what he had going on in the inside to ourselves. I wasn’t trying to hurt him, and I certainly didn’t think he would end up in the hospital. If he doesn’t come out, I’ll never be able to forgive myself. Regardless of if anybody else knew, I still feel horrible that I didn’t tell.”
“That’s how I feel too,” Shelby said as she placed her arm around my shoulder.
Ansli locked in on my other arm. “But he’s going to be okay. He is.”
“Y’all hope so,” I said to my two big sisters.
“Sloan, I hear you talking a bunch of junk, but you don’t know what you would have done if Dad asked you to keep the secret.” Shelby laid into her.
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br /> “Just because you make stupid decisions doesn’t mean I would too,” Sloan yelled back. “Shelby, your actions may have killed Dad.”
Shelby pushed Sloan. “You witch.”
We were in the emergency room waiting area, and my sisters were acting like we were young again, fussing in our own backyard. The police guards rushed over. So did Slade and Charlotte. But the argument only intensified.
When my mom rushed out, she yelled, “What is going on out here? Girls!”
We all calmed down, and we rushed over to her.
“Sorry, Mom!” Shelby yelled out.
“Yeah, I’m sorry. How’s Dad?” Sloan asked.
“He’s going to be fine,” she finally said.
Big sighs of relief flooded our faces. The grimness faded. Those were the words we’d been waiting to hear.
“He’s going to be okay?” I asked again, tears flowing, anticipating the answer staying the same.
“Yes, baby, he’s going to be okay,” my mom said as she hugged me.
“I’m so sorry. I knew something was wrong with him. He passed out a couple times on me, and I, I should have said something,” I admitted, knowing my mom was going to hate me for keeping this information.
“Me too, Mom,” Shelby said, surprising me as she also admitted she knew Dad wasn’t totally well.
Sloan stepped to my mom, wanting her to get on us. “Yes, they should have said something! That’s why we’re arguing. Dad wouldn’t have been in here if they would have said something!”
My mom took Sloan’s hand. “Well, I knew he wasn’t well too. Your dad has diabetes. He hasn’t been taking good care of himself, so I’m just as much to blame as anybody is. And the last thing he’d want any of us to do is to blame ourselves. He is a stubborn mule who, from now on, won’t be taking any of this lightly.”
Sloan was flabbergasted. I was astonished too. Paris winked my way, letting me know I was cool to keep quiet. Shelby nodded, getting the fact that it was hard for a lot of us to go against my dad. I could tell Sloan felt bad she was so hard on me. I still felt I deserved it, but the best part was my dad was okay. Now I needed to be educated about his condition.
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