Kate gave one last look before giving up. How she managed to own minimal possessions yet still collect so much useless junk in her purse was one of God’s great mysteries.
A quick glance at her watch told her that it was nearly eleven fifteen. Even if she’d missed a message from Josh, it didn’t really matter now. He’d be here soon anyway.
Setting her bag on the cushioned ottoman which supported her leg, she massaged her knee and let her gaze wander. The vibrant blue sky promised a brighter day, just as the details Sam had shared the night before had assured her of a secure future.
“It’s warm this morning.” Sam placed the newspaper down on the table between them, then slipped off her beige linen jacket and tossed it onto the chaise behind her. “But the paper predicts a storm later on. We should enjoy the sunshine while we can.”
Noticing for the first time that a dramatic patch of gray loomed in the distance, Kate decided to drop the weather-paralleling-her-life analogy. This was just the climate of her new home. Unpredictable and constantly changing. There was no reason to think her happy ending would follow the same pattern.
Angling her wrist to check her watch for the umpteenth time, she caught herself. What was she doing? If her happy ending was secured, why did she keep wondering when Josh would show up?
She sighed. It wasn’t any big mystery, really. He was an attractive, single guy who happened to share some of her interests. But her life was what it was, and she couldn’t change that. She might not get to have the passion she longed for, but that was part of the price she’d pay for her safety. Things were working out perfectly with Chase, and Josh had just been a temporary distraction.
Unfortunately, there was nothing she could do about his being there. He needed a job, and it had already been promised to him. Controlling her thoughts, and acting like a boss, not a friend, would be the only way to hold her emotions in check.
Tipping back her head, she studied the wispy clouds directly above. Thank goodness she hadn’t told Josh about Joe. How did she know he wouldn’t have told his best friend, the cop, and blown her cover completely?
The rustling of newspaper brought her out of her thoughts, and she glanced at the section Sam had just set on the table.
“Oh my gosh.” Snapping it up, she read the headline. “‘Shania Hane Faked Death to Elude Stalker’.”
“Isn’t that something?” Sam looked up. “She was living in Friday Harbor under an assumed name.”
“Josh and I met her the other day.” A tingle danced down Kate’s spine at the thought of telling him. “He swore it was her and I told him he was crazy.” She chuckled. “I guess I owe him another chocolate shake.”
Sam made a tsking sound. “That poor woman was being stalked to the point of having to kill her real identity and go into hiding.”
“Yes.” Kate bit her lip. “Kind of like me.”
A soothing look of motherly concern slipped over Sam’s features. “Don’t you worry.” Her words sounded soft and reassuring. “You won’t have to hide forever.”
Kate gave her a light smile. Something about her certainty made Kate think she should believe her.
The French doors behind them clicked and Kate twisted around, hoping not to see Jessica or Stuart. The sight of Josh stepping out of the house in jeans, a t-shirt, and a cobalt blue cotton jacket sent all hope of controlling her thoughts sailing out into the bay. The best she could hope was for her emotions to not show on her face.
“Josh.” Twisting back around, she grabbed the newspaper and waved it in her hand as he crossed in front of her. She tried to suppress the heat that rose to her cheeks. “You’re not going to believe this.”
Ignoring the paper, he tipped a courteous if subdued greeting at Sam before returning his attention to Kate. “Why haven’t you been answering your phone?”
Both his tone and his demeanor held an edge Kate hadn’t experienced from him before. Her heart sank. Had something changed?
Lowering the paper, she sputtered, “I…I lost it.”
“Well, that explains it.” Though softened, his voice left her with the distinct feeling that her carelessness had let him down.
His concerned gaze settled on her. “How are you feeling?”
“Sam wrapped my leg.” She gave a light smile that didn’t feel as reassuring as she hoped it looked.
“Kate is a very cooperative patient.” Sam rose to her feet. “And now that you’re here to look out for her, I’m afraid I have to head to the mainland.”
Kate gripped the newspaper, as something just short of panic crept in. She had assumed they’d have the day together to work on wedding plans. The idea of spending time alone with Josh now that…she gulped…now that her feelings had intensified, made her stomach hurt.
She looked at Sam. “I hope I haven’t been keeping you from your work.”
“It’s not a big deal.” Sam pushed to her feet and smoothed a hand over her linen pants. “Something’s come up and I need to go meet someone.”
Kate tried not to let her distress show. “Are you taking the yacht?”
“Oh, no. I have a friend on the other side of the island who sometimes loans me his powerboat. It’s easier than the yacht, and I hate being a slave to the ferry schedule.” Sam bent down to give Kate’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “I’ll be back later today and we can return to the yacht together.”
Kate watched as Sam headed into the house. Cautioning a look at Josh, she chewed on her lip, anxious to regain the rapport they’d had up until now but needing to let him know she had set her boundaries.
He stood there next to the deck rail, neither leaning nor sitting, as if he might be planning on leaving too. She looked down at the newspaper she still held in her hands, then tossed it onto the table. Even if he wasn’t interested in discussing the article, surely he’d want to hear what she’d learned about Chase. She attempted to sound earnest. “So, Sam told me everything about Emily and Trina. She’s known Chase since high school. Can you believe that?”
“Uh huh.” He seemed hesitant to hold her gaze, which was totally unlike him.
Kate went on. “She was actually there with him after he found Emily, and she was one of the last people to talk to Trina before she vanished. It looks like Chase’s story about her leaving him for another man is true.”
He pulled in a breath, but let it out in a heavy, wordless sigh.
Why was he acting so distant? Was he really this upset about her not answering her phone? Or was there something else?
She buried her apprehension behind a plastered-on smile. “So, we don’t have to do any more investigating. We can focus on getting ready for the wedding.”
He worked his jaw, like he wanted to say something but couldn’t decide how to start. Her heart quivered. She missed the banter they’d had just the day before.
Act like a boss, Kate. Not a friend.
“So, we might as well get started.” She swung her leg off the ottoman and pulled herself to her feet. “I need to decide where we’re going to stand for the ceremony, and where the guests are going to sit. Just think…” She took a cautious step, her knee responding with a dull ache. “In a few days, you’ll be calling me Mrs. Cole.” Forcing a smile, she turned for the door.
“If that’s what you want.” His voice sounded firm and solid, like he wasn’t moving to follow. “Or maybe you’d rather I call you Kathy.”
She froze, the word stabbing her like a cold blade. Slowly, she turned, gaping at him in confused disbelief. “How did you…?”
Stepping toward her, he pulled some folded papers from his inside jacket pocket and held them out.
She took the papers with trembling hands. The heading of the top page screamed at her. Missing Persons Report.
A shockwave skittered through her. Her mother had reported her missing. Of course she had.
A copy of an old photo of her was clipped to the corner of the page. It was all she could do not to fold into a heap on the deck as she pictured her m
om, frantic, responding to a policeman’s request for a recent photo of her by extracting this one from its frame on the living room wall. Had her stepdad been with her, offering comfort? Or had he made her go through this alone?
She flipped to the second page—a yellow paper filled with handwritten notes. Her eyes swept over the murky mass of words. Kathy Jennings…Emily Cole…Detective Johnson…Carl Hingston. Then out of the blur of pencil markings, a phrase took shape. Possible accessory to criminally negligent homicide.
Her knees buckled and Josh reached out to clasp her arms.
She tried to pull away from him, but her strength failed. “How…where…?”
His eyes, which had seemed so distant just a moment before, now brimmed with compassion. “Eli tracked this down for me.”
Her breath caught. He’d had her investigated? Betrayal surged in her chest till she could scarcely breathe. “Why?”
“Because I asked him to.”
Fury mixed with fear, forming a potent brew that threatened to erupt like a volcano. Wrenching free from his grasp, she took an unsteady step back. “You…you had him check up on me?”
“I’m sorry, Kate.” Remorse filled his voice. “But I just had a feeling there was something serious going on that I should know about. Why didn’t you tell me about any of this?”
“Because it’s none of your business.” The papers crumpled between her shaking fingers. “Didn’t that ever occur to you?”
He shook his head. “No. That didn’t occur to me because I happen to care about you. I want to protect you, and not just because Mr. Cole hired me to.”
He cared about her. She looked into his eyes, not sure if she wanted to see a deeper meaning in them. Her outrage faltered. “But…you had no right…”
“I understand why you’re running.” With an extended hand, he took another step toward her. “And why you’re trying to hide inside a loveless marriage.”
Loveless? The word gave her anger a reboot. Josh couldn’t tell her how she felt. He had no idea.
His suppliant gaze connected with hers. “But you need to know that the detective isn’t interested in arresting you. You don’t need to hide anymore.”
Her head started to spin, and she grappled for a chair to catch her weight. Getting arrested for her involvement with the clinic was really the least of her worries now. Did Josh know the rest of the story? Did anyone?
She scanned the yellow page again, looking for any mention of Karen or of the stolen money. Seeing nothing, she flipped it over. There she saw more notes, but in different handwriting. Something about a documentary and some numbers behind a dollar sign.
She looked up at Josh. “You got offered a job on a movie?”
His eyes narrowed in confusion, then widened in realization. He let out a long breath and took the papers back from her. “I got a phone call while I was home.”
“Really?” She pressed her lower arms to her belly. “When does the job start?”
“Well, they would need me to be in Vancouver tomorrow.”
Tomorrow? Pain squeezed her chest, where the happiness she felt for him made a confusing contrast to the sorrow she felt for herself. “So…you’re leaving?”
He let out a breath. “That’s why I was trying to call you. “I haven’t given them an answer yet. I wanted to talk to you first.”
Anguish filled her throat. He had wanted to talk to her. Like what she thought mattered in his decision. Like she mattered.
She couldn’t let herself think that way. “But you’re taking it, right? I mean…it’s what you want.”
“Kate.” He knelt next to her. “I made a commitment to you.”
As she met his gaze, her body weakened in an exodus of spent adrenaline and rage. With everything in her, she wanted to just go with him. To get into his dented-up Toyota and drive away from all her fears and concerns. Into a life filled with passion and the kind of love that was formed by a thousand colored dots of different emotions that only made sense when you stood back to see the picture they formed.
She looked away, afraid of what she might say if she looked into those eyes again. If love could build a strong fortress around her she’d be safe, but it couldn’t. No matter how badly she wanted it, love would never be enough.
Pulling herself painfully to her feet, she crossed to the railing and focused on the creeping patch of grey in the sky. At least with her back to him and that small distance between them, she could fake a strength she didn’t feel.
“I think you should take the job.” She blinked back a tear. “It’s a great opportunity, and I can’t stand in your way.”
The sound of his steps behind her carried over the soft sloshing of the waves below them.
“Kate…I need to know you’ll be okay.”
His hand touched her shoulder, and she turned. Unable to help herself, she looked up at his molten eyes drilling into hers.
She slowly shook her head. “You can’t keep me safe.” It came out in a choked whisper.
“You’re right. I can’t.” He removed his hand, but she could still feel its warmth. “No one can guarantee your safety, Kate. Not Mr. Cole. Not me.”
The tears started to come in spite of her best efforts to restrain them. “Then what am I supposed to do?”
Dipping down to recapture her gaze, he spoke softly. “You have to have faith. Just know that God is in control.”
Wrapping her arms around herself, she turned again and wiped her eyes. “You don’t know what I need, Josh.”
“You’re right. But I wish I did.” Resting his hands on the railing, he eased up next to her. “Kate…Kathy…I…”
Turning to meet his gaze, she felt her heart skitter in her chest. She leaned in closer to him, longing to allow everything she had worked for all these weeks to slip from her grasp so she could follow her heart’s lead.
Don’t be a fool, Kate.
Stumbling back a step, she held up a hand. “I know what I want.” She pulled in a breath for strength. “I want to be Mrs. Chase Cole.” Overcome with a need to get away from him, she started for the stairs that led down to the water.
“Wait.” Alarm cut through his voice. “Where are you going?”
Good question. Her first step down reminded her that putting stress on her knee was not a good plan. “I’m going to the yacht to wait for Sam.”
He moved to follow. “At least let me drive you.”
She held up a hand. “It’s not your job to take care of me, Josh.” Emotion mixed with pain, doing little to convey a sense of self-assurance. “I think you should go.”
He wavered, then let out a long sigh. “Fine.” The word was low. Resigned. “If you’re sure that’s what you want. I’ll just go inside and get the rest of my things.” He took a step, then stopped and met her gaze. “I won’t bother you again…Mrs. Cole.”
As he headed back to the house, Kate stood motionless—torn between the need to flee and the desire to go after him.
The door clicked shut behind him, and a tear rolled down her cheek. She quickly swiped it away, then grabbed hold of the railing with both hands and made her way down the stairs. By the time her feet touched the soft ground at its base, the periphery of her vision had blurred, and her throat had tightened. The throbbing of her heartbeat echoed in her ears.
Focusing on what she could see of the dock through the trees, she started down the trail, the thin soles of her ballet flats providing only minimal traction on the dewy stones. This was a stupid move, tackling this trail. But she’d needed to get away from Josh.
All she could think of as she edged into the thicket of trees that enveloped the trail as it wound past the guesthouse, was her desire to get back to the yacht. And what then? She didn’t even have a key to get inside.
Another wave of uncertainty tightened her throat. It would be okay. Josh would leave, and she could start to feel like a normal bride with nothing worse than a case of pre-wedding jitters. Then when Sam returned, she would help put things into p
erspective.
She passed the front of the guesthouse, then followed the trail as it wound down below the beams that supported the decks she had so looked forward to spending time on. Keeping her head down, she focused on the pine-needled path and tried not to think about which stabbing pain hurt worse—the one in her knee, or the one in her heart. Both seemed to be gaining intensity with each step. How could she have let herself get so caught up in caring for a man who wasn’t hers?
The truth was, she felt drawn to Josh in a way she would never be to Chase. But even if she could stay with Josh, what kind of life could she offer him? Her past would forever haunt them. And unless she decided to spend the stolen money, which would create a whole new set of problems, she needed Chase’s resources. That was just the way it was.
As she passed the stairway that led up to the backdoor of the guesthouse, she paused and looked around. She hadn’t realized that from this section of the trail, there was no view of either the main house behind her or the water in front of her. Aside from that staircase and the mostly obscured guesthouse above the trail, there was nothing but a shroud of trees on either side.
A chill passed through her, and she attempted to hasten her steps, even though the steep downhill grade of the path made that very difficult.
Behind her, something crackled. Before she could turn, a hand took a firm hold of her shoulder and jolted her to a stop.
Chapter 23
Raking his hand through his hair, Josh climbed the stairs to the second floor. Why hadn’t he talked to Kate calmly, the way he had planned? Whatever chance he’d had with her had crashed and burned in a blazing trail of the trust he had failed to instill in her.
Confusion blurred his thoughts. To stay or to go. He’d prayed for guidance in making this decision, and her words had seemed like the answer. But if he’d been able to talk to her about it last night, would her response have been different?
Entering the room that had been his over the weekend, he contemplated. The question of Mr. Cole’s innocence wasn’t really the issue anymore. Josh had to face it. The real issue was that he couldn’t stand the thought of someone else marrying his Kate.
Tide Will Tell (Islands of Intrigue: San Juans) Page 17
