by Ella Edon
“We should be married. It would be the most logical solution to your problem. You would no longer have to deal with the ton, with your mother, nor with the men vying to be your suitor.”
“I would rather die than be married!” Her words echoed through the room, ricocheting throughout Jerome. He watched as she continued to laugh in overly shocked manner, as if she couldn’t believe he had dared to make such a suggestion. “You seem so smart, Mr. Cooper, but it appears you truly do not understand why I turned away so many gentlemen in the first place. Had I wished to be married, do you not think I would have given it a chance? Why would you possibly think I would choose to be married to you of all persons?”
She didn’t give him the chance to formulate a response. She was already going on a rampage. “The thought of being married makes me so ill I cannot think! To be shackled to a man, to share his bed and to be expected to share intimacies. Even if they only wished to have me for the security of it all, that would not be enough for them. They are all wishing for one thing and nothing can satisfy them! Once they set their eyes on something, they go after it. Not even maids are safe—!”
She broke off, eyes flying back to Jerome. Jerome could only stare. He watched, taken aback, as she put herself back together, slipping into the role of a noble lady and tucking the anger aside. Even so, he could see it shimmering under the surface, could see that she would have gone on for much longer.
“Miss Louisa—”
“I will have Henry escort you out,” she stated. The shift was so strong, so sudden, that it threw him for a moment. The calm after the storm had him tense, wondering if there was more to come. She gave him a hasty curtsy, not bothering to look at him as she turned to leave.
Jerome was left staring after her, an odd taste in his mouth from her words. Not even maids are safe? What could that mean?
He wouldn’t get the chance to ask her. At least, not for now. But he knew this was a chance he could not let go of. So, he would be back. And hopefully when he returned, she would be more open to his suggestion.
Chapter Seven
All her day went to waste because of her anger. Louisa stewed in it, let it consume her until she could see nothing else. She preferred that riotous rage over the embarrassment and horror she felt at the fact that Jerome had come all the way to her home to see about her state. To think that it had not been a figment of her imagination and he had truly seen her in such a state.
To think she had held on to him!
Louisa wanted to bury her head into her pillow and scream. She’d done so several times before she realized that she should not let such an unimpressive man such as that bother her so, despite his unfair handsomeness. But that didn’t stifle the urge in the slightest.
“If you continue like that, you will bite away all of her nailbed.”
Louisa quickly tucked her thumb into her palm, curling her fingers over it. She looked over her shoulder to see her two youngest sisters standing by the doorway of her bedchamber. Tereza came all the way in, instantly throwing herself onto Louisa’s bed, while Selina lingered at the entrance.
“Do you two want something?” Louisa asked, turning back to the mirror. She sat at her vanity table, staring blankly at the glass and seeing nothing but Jerome’s infuriatingly calm face.
“Do you not see what time of day it is?” asked Selina. “It is dinnertime. Mother asked us to fetch you because you are late.”
Louisa released a low breath. She was still far too furious to be in the company of others right now, even if the others consisted of her own family. Most of that fury was directed at herself, for letting Jerome’s words get under her skin. To think she’d managed to let him bother her so much that she’d slipped up and said such things. Goodness, the embarrassment she felt just might kill her if she wasn’t careful.
“Is something wrong?” asked Tereza. Louisa caught sight of her sister rolling over in her bed, propping her head on top of her hands. “You seem a bit out of it.”
“Oh, please do not say those words,” Louisa sighed, putting her hand to her temples.
“She’s right, Tereza,” Selina jumped in. Her playful tone had Louisa tensing. “Perhaps intoxicated would be a much better description.”
Louisa whirled to face her sisters, a gasp on her lips. “Who told you?”
“Who else but Charlotte?” Tereza sat up, grinning from ear to ear. She was far more active than the rest of her sisters, usually not caring about the social propriety expected of a lady of her status. Louisa felt she could blend in the slums just as easily as she could in high society. She wore a moss green evening gown, one that matched Selina’s dark green one. The two had been close ever since they were young, despite the two-year age gap. But while Selina had grown to be quite the lovely and popular sister, Tereza had been more interested in handling horses, playing card games, and running around in the gardens.
“Goodness, I thought she’d meant to keep that a secret,” Louisa muttered. “It appears I cannot even trust my own sister.”
“Oh, do not be dramatic,” Selina said, waving her hand dismissively. “She only sent us a letter informing us just in case you became ill throughout the day. She asked us not to tell Mother or Father, or else you would surely be put out of the manor.”
“She has your best interest at heart,” Tereza added. She twirled a lock of hair around her finger, still grinning. “How did it feel, Louisa? To be carried in the arms of such a handsome man?”
“She even told you two about that?” Louisa exclaimed, shooting to her feet.
“There is no use leaving out little tidbits of detail amongst sisters, is there?” Selina, though she was much more subtle that Tereza, also had that devilish glint in her eye. “But if there is something you would rather us not know, then I do understand.”
“Do not get any ideas in your mind.” Louisa warned. “If Charlotte truly told you all that happened, then you would know that Mr. Cooper was a perfect gentleman.”
“Of course he was.” Tereza rolled out of the bed, heading towards the door. She sent a smirk over her shoulder. “But we all know you are quite the bold one when you wish to be.”
The very thought of what her dear younger sisters might be implying gave Louisa the urge to laugh and to hurl at the same time. She only stared at them in shock as they prepared to leave.
“Mother is waiting for us,” Selina said finally. “If you do not come down soon, we will be forced to speak about other things to fill the silence.”
The implication was clear. Though Louisa sincerely doubted they would betray her trust like that, it was enough to get her moving. She followed behind the two sisters, watching as they walked arm in arm, whispering and giggling with each other. Tereza was even brazen enough to throw curious glances over her shoulder at Louisa, which only made her narrow her eyes.
She loved her sisters dearly. But the little terrors they used to be when they were younger had evolved into a different kind of nuisance that made her want to smile and flick their noses at the same time.
By the time they made it down into the foyer, Louisa was in a much better mood. Watching her sister calmed her, made her remember something fundamental. What Jerome said didn’t matter. What he had suggested to her should not have bothered her so. She need only reject him like she’d done all the others and focus on what was important. Selina’s Season. And in a few years, Tereza’s. Perhaps when they were married her mother would not try to hound her with suitors any longer, content that most of her daughters had found a husband. Louisa only needed to wait.
She’d managed to chase away the anger, though the embarrassment lingered. She even smiled in anticipation as she stepped into the dining room, ready to hear her mother questioning her about what had taken her so long.
The smile fell the moment she realized there was someone extra sitting at the table. A face she knew all too well. The one who graced her nightmares.
“Louisa,” Anders called as he spotted her. He was grinning fr
om ear to ear, waving her over. “It took you long enough. Come, sit.”
Louisa quickly averted her eyes from the man smiling from her father’s side. She looked down at the carpet beneath her feet, suddenly very grateful for the fact that her seat was by her mother. Liliana touched her gently on her arm, a silent indication for her to look up.
“My, my, Louisa.” The voice was exactly as she remembered it and it sent a coiling pit of despair through her. “It has been some time since I last saw you, and you have certainly grown more beautiful since then.”
“Hasn’t she?” Liliana agreed by her side. Her voice was chipper, happy. And why wouldn’t she be when the brother she hadn’t seen in fifteen years had returned?
Slowly, Louisa lifted her eyes to look at her uncle, Lord Benjamin Foster, the Viscount of Casleton. He looked nearly the same as she remembered him, save for a few new lines on his face. He still wore that lopsided grin, his blond hair a few shades darker than Liliana’s. But they bore the same blue eyes that had haunted Louisa, the ones that were always coupled with screams that tore through her mind.
He was looking at her and Louisa didn’t have the strength to look away. All her lingering anger, her overriding embarrassment, faded in the presence of this man. She’d last seen him when she was only eight years old and yet the image of his face was branded in her mind. She would not have been able to miss him in a crowd and she’d spent countless years praying that he would not return.
Uncle Benjamin’s smile widened just a tad as he stared at her, but then he turned his gaze to Selina, who sat at Louisa’s side. “Now, who are you, young lady? You do look quite like my niece, Selina, but she is far too young to be having her Season already, I’m sure.”
Selina giggled at that. “Do I truly look that young?” she asked, putting a hand to her cheek. “That may prove to be a problem in the future.”
They all laughed. Every one of them, with not a care in the world. They were all happy to see a family member return to them, a man they had not seen in such a long time, though he kept contact with letters. None of them seemed aware of the fact that Louisa was simply staring at him, as if she couldn’t come to terms with the fact that he was here.
“If you truly are Selina,” Uncle Benjamin looked at Tereza, who was sitting at his side, “then could you truly be the infamous Tereza?”
“Infamous?” Tereza echoed with her brows raised.
“Yes, your mother has detailed all the incredibly rambunctious things you have been up to in the past, telling me that she does not know how you can be tamed. Though I find it hard to believe that such a small lady such as yourself could possibly cause your mother such a headache.”
“Benjy, you hardly know the half of it,” Liliana said with an exaggeratedly weary sigh.
Tereza beamed. “Mother, you flatter me.”
Again, they laughed. Louisa did not know why surprise rushed through her. Somehow, she had convinced herself that they all knew of the true nature of this man, but that could not be the case. If they had, he would not be allowed into this manor. He would not be allowed anywhere near Louisa or her sisters.
“Louisa?” She was brought out of her reverie by her father. She looked at him, a bit dazed. “Are you not eating?” he asked.
“Ah, yes.” Her voice sounded so far away, her limbs not under her control even as she reached for her spoon.
“She seems to be quite taken aback by my sudden appearance, Anders,” Uncle Benjamin said. “It has been quite some years since she’s last seen me.”
Louisa remained silent. She did not plan to speak at all, lest she say something stupid. Lest she reveal just how terrified she truly was on the inside.
“One can hardly blame her considering the fact that you have been in America for fifteen years,” her father said amiably. “I am surprised the younger ones even remember who you are.”
“Believe us when we say it took us a moment,” Selina said, earning a hearty chuckle from both her father and her uncle.
“So, tell us, Benjy,” Liliana said as she lifted a glass of wine to her lips. “How fares the business?”
“A few rough patches here and there, I must admit. But all is now well. I believed it was safe enough to return to England.”
Louisa had learned a few years after he left that he had gone to America to foster a new business venture in trade. She’d hoped that would be enough to take him away from them forever, but clearly her prayers had fallen on deaf ears.
“That sounds like enough for a celebration,” Anders said. He turned to his wife, lifting a brow. “Shall we throw a ball in his honor?”
“Not unless you want me to run away again,” Uncle Benjamin said.
Liliana chuckled. She rested her hand on Anders’s arm. “You know my brother is not a fan of the company of others. Oddly enough, he can be quite shy.”
Shy? Louisa didn’t know whether to laugh or grimace. Either way, she was sure it would only show the hysteria deep within her.
“Does that mean you will not be attending any balls this Season, Uncle?” Selina asked him.
Somehow, Louisa could feel his eyes on her. She didn’t dare to look up to see if she was right. “Perhaps. I do not yet know what the future will hold.”
“Will you be staying here permanently, then?”
He couldn’t
Louisa couldn’t believe the words had come out her mouth. She’d asked it without thinking, forging right past the fear and the horror because she had to know. She had to cling to any hope she could find that he would not be here for long.
Though it went against her better judgment, she looked up at him. He tilted his head to the side, his expression utterly innocent. He seemed so normal that she almost wondered if she had dreamed up the entire thing fifteen years ago. If he truly was not the villain, she had made him out to be.
“Of course I am here to stay,” he said to her, and Louisa’s heart sank to the pits of her stomach. “And my first order of business is to get to know more about the nieces who have grown up in my absence.”
She looked back down at her soup. The words had felt like a direct shot at her and she didn’t want to face it. She didn’t want to see if those words had opened old wounds, which now laid her bare and bleeding.
For the rest of the dinner, Louisa kept her silence. No one seemed to mind, so focused were they on questioning Uncle Benjamin about his time in America. They didn’t realize that she was drawing in on herself, that she had long ago stopped eating—because she couldn’t stop her dinner knife from clanking against the plate as a result of her trembling hands. No one was aware of the ricocheting thoughts running through her, the dread that clogged her throat and robbed her of her appetite.
When dinner was over and they all intended to retire to the parlor for wine and games, she excused herself, claiming that she felt a bit ill. She saw Selina and Tereza exchanged knowing glances and hidden smiles, and she was grateful for it. Yes, let them think that she was staying away from the wine for a while. That way they would not know the true reason behind her actions. They would be forever unaware of the monster in their midst. If they knew, they might be subjected to the same pain she’d lived with for fifteen years, and that was the very last thing Louisa wanted to happen.
Chapter Eight
Jerome didn’t think he would ever be rid of the anxiety that rose whenever he was in his father’s presence, but this time it was at a stiflingly high degree. He felt his palms grow sweaty as he made his way to the duke’s bedchamber, not knowing what he would find. The somber air within the manor seemed deeper than the last time he’d been present. It seemed that all the servants now knew that the master of the manor was ill. But they didn’t know what the fate of their employment all rested in Jerome’s hands.
He cast the thought aside when he entered the duke’s bedchamber. His heart thudded in his chest when he spotted him lying in his bed, the covers pulled to his chin. His eyes were closed, his cheeks appearing slightly more hollowed
than they had been even a few days ago. His breathing was slow and even, but when Jerome approached the bed, his eyelashes fluttered.
“Father?” he said gently, sitting in the chair by the bed. The duke truly looked quite ill. The weight of his situation had never felt heavier. “Are you awake?”
The duke’s lashes fluttered again and then they parted. He stared blankly at ceiling before he slid his gaze over to Jerome. “Help me up,” he croaked.
Jerome quickly did as he asked. He was alarmed to find that his father had slimmed down since the last time he’d seen him, but he was still a decent enough weight. Even so, it was easy enough to pull him up, stuffing a pillow behind his back for him to rest on.
“How fares your search?” the duke asked. It was just like him to get straight to the point.
