Please, sweetheart –
Beat.
Lori (carefully) Mum – when I think of – of my grandparents, and their grandparents, and their grandparents, and back and back and back – and what, really, did they live and die and struggle and fight for? For the hope that things would get better? For the (quote unquote) ‘generations yet unborn’? For me? Because – because – in that case – if that’s the case – then their lives, their deaths, everything – it was pointless. It was pointless, all of it, just – pointless.
Beat.
You see, Mum, there’s nothing you can say.
Phyllis You’re ill, Lori. You’re not thinking clearly.
Lori No, but Mum –
Beat.
Once you’ve realised that – you can’t go back to the way things were, because –
Mum, please –
Don’t cry, Mum, please –
Mum –
You need to listen, Mum, because I need you to know this –
I want to go back, I’d give anything – I want to believe in things the way I used to believe in them, the way I used to believe in them without even thinking about it – without even knowing that I was believing. But I can’t, Mum, I can’t – and it isn’t even that it’s I don’t know how to, it’s that I know I can’t – and so I can’t see how I can go on – go on – living – because – because –
I don’t think there’s any such thing as the future, Mum. I think that life is just made up of moments, and outside each moment there’s nothing else, and we have to believe that we’re living in something bigger, something more coherent, because otherwise – otherwise we’d give up. I think that people need to believe that things get better – that one day, life on earth will be – beautiful – or else what would be the point of anything? It’s like – it’s like if you don’t believe in Heaven then you have to believe in Earth – or you have to believe that Heaven is a place that you can find – or create – or whatever – on Earth, but – and the only way I can say this, and you’re not going to understand me, anyway, but the only way I can put it is that I don’t believe in Earth, either.
Phyllis What about us, Lori?
What about your dad and I? What about your sisters?
Lori I’m sorry, Mum.
Phyllis Do you think there haven’t been times when I’ve wanted to leave you? To leave all of you? Do you think there haven’t been times when I’ve wanted to – to – to do the things you do, to – travel, to go to university, to even have the possibility that you can go anywhere and do anything you like? I don’t live through you and your sisters, Lori, I live for you. And that’s why you – that’s why one – ‘goes on’. That’s why you ‘believe’. You go on – even when you think that you can’t go on, or when you can’t see how you can go on – you go on because there are other people – because other people depend on you – because other people are a part of you, too.
Silence.
Lori?
Do you understand?
Do you understand what I’m telling you?
Beat.
You’re nineteen, Lori, and you’ve got your whole life ahead of you.
Silence.
Lori I’m sorry, Mum.
Silence.
Phyllis closes her eyes and hugs Lori tight to her.
At first Lori does not move.
Then she closes her eyes and clings to her mother.
Silence.
Lori is the first to break the embrace. And she seems somehow brighter – stronger – resolute.
Phyllis I came up to tell you that dinner’s ready.
Lori Right.
Phyllis Will you please come down, Lori?
Beat.
Lori Yes.
All right.
Phyllis You will, you’ll come down and eat with us?
Lori Yeah. I will, yeah.
Beat.
Phyllis Right.
Well, Lori –
That’s –
Great, that’s – great.
(Fiercely.) We’re going to beat this together, Lori. We will. We’ll beat this together.
Lori Mum –
Beat.
Listen, Mum.
You go on down, okay?
I’ll –
I mean – I just have a couple of things –
I need to – to wash my face, and – you know –
Phyllis Right – right, of course –
All right –
Phyllis hovers in the doorway for a moment, gazing at her daughter.
Then she turns and leaves.
Beat.
Lori gets to her feet.
She stands, surveying the room.
She walks over to the window, bends down and switches on the fairy lights. She stands up and takes a step backwards and looks at them. She is impassive. She bends down again and switches them off. Then she slowly stands and takes them down from around the window, coiling them up carefully as she goes along. She sets the coil neatly on top of one of the boxes. She stands, staring at the room.
SCENE SEVEN
The living room.
There is a cheerful fire blazing.
David is standing watching it. Clover and Poppy are sitting close together. Poppy is cuddled up to Clover.
Phyllis (coming into the room) You’ve made a fire.
She walks over to David. She leans against him.
Oh, love.
David (quietly) I know.
Poppy Isn’t the fire nice?
Just once won’t hurt the ozone layer, will it, Dad.
Clover Is there anything we can do to help, Mum, ’cause anything you want us to do, isn’t that right, Pops?
David Thank you, Clover. Poppy. You’re good girls.
Phyllis (to Clover) Thank you, love.
Poppy (getting up and cuddling into Phyllis) Mum. Look at the funny shadows on the walls. Doesn’t it make the room look like a different place.
Phyllis puts an arm around Poppy.
David C’mere, Clover.
Clover What?
David ’Mere.
Clover (reluctantly) Da-ad –
But she gets up and slouches over to her father.
Silence.
Poppy reaches for Clover’s hand. Clover looks at her and squeezes her hand.
Silence.
David We’re going to be okay.
Silence.
Then Lori comes into the room – bright – brittle – almost feverish.
Lori Anything I can do, come on Clovey, Pops. Clovey if you get the cutlery I’ll get the glasses, wine, Mum, Dad, would you like a glass of wine, red or white, which would you prefer –
Slight silence.
Well go on, red or white, would you prefer / red or white –
David Red would be –
Phyllis There’s a bottle of white open in the –
Lori Well, I’ll get both, no problem, come on, Clovey –
She leaves the room. Phyllis and David glance quickly at each other; Clover and Poppy stare at each other; Poppy skips off first, beaming.
Poppy Come on, Clovey –
Clover Mum, do you think she’s –
Poppy Come on, Clovey –
Poppy skips out of the room – the sound of laughter from the kitchen – she comes back with a stack of plates.
Clovey you’re to get the cutlery – well, go on –
Clover leaves the room and comes back with the cutlery. The girls start setting the table; Lori comes back in with a glass of red and a glass of white wine and hands them to her parents.
Lori Here you go, Dad, Mum, here you go. Oh, doesn’t it look pretty, I always think how pretty it looks, glasses and cutlery, before they’re used, don’t you, Mum, hey Dad, will you sing a song, Dad, will you sing one of the songs you used to sing when we were little, will you?
Beat.
David A song?
Lori Yeah yeah, go on, please, Dad, one of the ones from when we were / little –
Lori (to Clover) Yeah, wouldn’t it be, I just thought it would be, hey Pops, you’d like a song, wouldn’t you, go on, Dad. Pops, go get Dad’s guitar –
Poppy leaps up to fetch the guitar.
David Lori, I haven’t touched the guitar in months, it’ll be / out of tune –
Lori Doesn’t matter, you can tune it, that doesn’t matter, go on, Dad –
Clover Lori –
Lori Aw, don’t be a spoilsport – Clovey, come on, you’d like a song too, I know you would –
During the following speech Poppy comes scampering back with the guitar and hands it to her father, who puts his book down and takes the guitar and starts tuning. Lori jumps down cross-legged in front of him and Poppy cuddles in beside her; Clover hovers for a second and then sits down next to Phyllis, who puts an arm around her.
What are you going to sing, Dad, what do you think he’ll sing, Clovey – ’mon and sit beside me, Pops, come on, isn’t this nice, the fire’s lovely, dead cosy, isn’t it, Mum, oh that’ll do, Dad, it’s in tune enough by now, go on, go on –
David starts to pluck out chords which resolve themselves into a song; he begins to hum along softly and then to sing. Lori whoops and claps when she recognises it. Her enthusiasm is infectious: Poppy cheers; Clover laughs despite herself; Phyllis smiles too.
David
Oh, I went down south to see my Sal
Singing Polly wolly doodle all the day
My Sal she am a spunky gal
Sing Polly wolly doodle all the day.
He pauses.
Lori Oh don’t stop –
She starts to hum the chorus, and David plays and sings along:
Fare thee well, fare thee well
Fare thee well my fairy Fay
For I’m off to Lou’siana for to see my Susyanna
Singing Polly wolly doodle all the day.
Then David alone:
Oh my Sal she is a maiden fair
Sing Polly wolly doodle all the day
With curly eyes and laughing hair
Sing Polly wolly doodle all the day.
Poppy Dad! The verse about the grasshopper, Dad!
David
Oh a grasshopper sittin’ on a railroad track
Singing Polly wolly doodle all the day
A pickin’ his teeth with a carpet tack
Sing Polly wolly doodle all the day.
Phyllis David?
I remember when you used to sing it to the girls before bedtime, and you’d sing Poppy wolly doodle.
Poppy Really?
Lori I remember that.
Poppy Poppy wolly doodle!
David is humming the chorus.
Lori (suddenly not laughing) I wish –
Clover (quietly) Shh, Lori, don’t spoil it.
Phyllis What’s that, Lori?
Lori Nothing.
I don’t know what I was going to say.
Nothing.
I was just going to say that I wished –
Slight silence.
Phyllis (gently) What do you wish, Lori?
Poppy Yeah, what do you wish, Lori?
Lori I don’t know, I can’t –
What I mean is that –
I can’t –
David It’s going to be all right, Lori, everything’s …
Lori (suddenly, fiercely, to no one) I’d give anything – anything – to start again. Anything. I mean if I believed in God, or in the Devil, or –
I’d give anything –
She stops, abruptly.
Nobody knows what to say.
Silence.
Slow fade to blackout.
Act Three
Three months earlier.
The garden.
It is early autumn. The evening is beginning to draw in; it is nearing dusk, but is not yet dark. The day has been crisp and bright; the sky is high and cloudless and, to the west, is streaked with pink, like the traces of washed-out blood. The leaves on the trees are a riot of reds and oranges. There is a chill to the air, but it is not yet too cold to sit outside. There is smart but faded wooden garden furniture out: a table, chairs, etc. Lori is sitting at the table alone, gazing at Clover and Poppy, who are crouching on the ground giggling over two antique storm lanterns which they are trying to light. There is a small pile of gaudily wrapped presents on the table.
Phyllis comes out from the kitchen, awkwardly (one-handedly) untying an apron. She is carrying some battered-looking jotters. She stops, and looks at Lori.
Beat.
Phyllis Car all loaded up then?
Beat.
Lori?
Lori What?
Phyllis Away with the fairies, you are.
I said the car’s all loaded up?
Lori Oh. Yeah.
Dad’s just – checking the oil and that.
Phyllis Right.
Slight silence.
(Are you) okay?
Lori What?
Yeah yeah. (Slightly forced laugh.) Yeah, I’m grand.
Just, you know.
Phyllis I know.
Beat.
(Suddenly.) Oh pet, I wish we were taking you over ourselves.
Make sure you get there.
Don’t go – astray, somehow.
Lori (rallying)
Mum. I’ll be fine.
Dad’s installed some sort of satellite navigation thingy anyway that he says will tell me what street to take and everything.
There’ll be no way I can get lost even if I want to.
I’ll be fine.
Phyllis It’s just such a long drive. And the closer it gets to you actually leaving –
Lori Mum.
Phyllis Sorry. I know, sorry.
Silence.
If there’d been someone who could have looked after your sisters for the weekend, then your father and I would by all means have taken you across – you do know that, don’t you.
Lori Mum.
We’ve been over all this.
Phyllis I know, but –
Lori Mum –
Phyllis I know, I know.
Beat.
Anyway, it’ll be handy for you having your own car over there.
Lori Yeah.
Phyllis Just remember to use the wheel-lock, won’t you? London isn’t Belfast, you know.
Lori Mum.
Phyllis (laughing faintly) All right.
Just –
I still think of you as my baby, you know.
Lori But I’m not. And – and, Mum, Clover and Poppy aren’t, either, you know.
Clover (calling over) I’ll be the oldest now that Lori’s gone.
Poppy Oh but that’s not fair, it means I’m always the youngest –
Phyllis (joking)
But don’t you want to stay my baby, Poppy?
Poppy (wriggling) Yeah, but –
Phyllis I’m only joking, love. I’m only joking. No time at all it’ll be you going away, too.
Silence.
Clover manages to light the second of the lanterns. She picks it up carefully, and sets it on the table.
Clover There!
Look, Mum!
Poppy goes to pick up the other lantern, which is also lit.
Careful, Pops –
Poppy I am being careful –
Poppy sets the other lantern on the table.
She sits down.
Clover (sitting down) They look pretty, don’t they, Mum.
Phyllis (sitting down) Very pretty.
Beat.
Look, Lori – (The jotters.) Look what I found. I’ve been saving them to show you.
Lori What are they? (Reading the cover.) ‘Dolores Murdoch Aged Seven And Three Quarters.’ Ohh (A sigh.)
Poppy What is it? Let’s see!
Lori (softly) Oh my goodness –
Phyllis And this one – look at this, Lori –
Wait a second till I –
Here we go, listen to this:
&nb
sp; ‘Yesterday we went to the Botanic Gardens –’ the teacher’s written that bit in – ‘Botanic Gardens’ – ‘and we saw a pheasant. Daddy said it was a pleasant pheasant.’
(She laughs.) ‘Daddy said it was a pleasant pheasant.’
Lori I had no idea you kept them.
Phyllis Oh, everything’s in the attic, somewhere or other.
Listen – listen to this – (She flicks forward a few pages.)
‘Yesterday I helped Mummy give my baby sister a bath’ – that’s you, Poppy –
Poppy Me!
Phyllis (continuing) ‘My baby sister has a bath every night.’
‘Clover and I have a bath once a week on a Saturday night.’
‘Clover and I have a bath once a week on a Saturday night’ indeed!
You don’t say that you had a shower every other night of the week! That bathtimes were a treat because you’d’ve stayed in there all night if we’d let you!
Clover Oh Lori, remember Mister Matey! Remember how we used to make tunnels in the bubbles!
Phyllis The two of youse splashing around like wee seals.
Poppy Did I splash around like a wee seal too?
Phyllis I used to bathe you in a baby-bath in the kitchen. Your sisters would wash their dolls in the sink at the same time.
Poppy Is that true?
Phyllis Oh, absolutely.
Lori (reading over her mother’s shoulder) ‘Once a week on a Saturday night.’ Did I really write that?
Phyllis You did indeed. ‘Once a week!’ Whatever must the teacher have thought of us!
Beat.
She closes the jotter.
There’s a whole box of them up there.
Silly keeping them, I know, but I just could never bring myself to throw them away.
Poppy Are all my primary school ones there too, Mum?
Clover Poppy, you only left primary school a couple of months ago!
Poppy Shut up!
Phyllis There are boxes and boxes of them. Your jotters, your drawings, your – I don’t know – your music certificates, skating certificates, school reports –
Lori (still flicking through the jotter) God, Mum.
They lapse briefly into silence.
Then David comes out brandishing a bottle of champagne and glasses.
David Ta-daa!
All done, Lori.
And now –
Lori Champagne!
Dad!
Lori leaps up and hugs her father around the waist. He puts an arm around her.
Poppy We’ve been looking at Lori’s old school jotters, Dad. From when she was, like, in P1 and that.
David You have, have you?
Leaves Page 7
