by Lori Wilde
She moistened her lips, caught by the intensity and passion in his dark eyes, gut wrenching and heart cracking.
“I didn’t believe in that kind of love.” He inhaled deeply. “But, now, with you . . . with you, I realized that isn’t true at all.”
“What part isn’t true?”
“Any of it. All of it. Love isn’t a complication. It’s an enrichment. And here’s the big kicker that I didn’t even get until I walked into Susan and Bryant’s wedding and saw you there after being away from you for a year. In that moment I fell in love with you in a way I never knew was possible and I realized . . . dammit, Ember, I realized that all this time I had been avoiding love because I’d secretly been waiting.”
“For what?” she whispered.
“You,” he whispered back. “I had been avoiding love with other people because I was waiting for you to love me the same way that I loved you.”
Oh God, why hadn’t he said something sooner? When she was younger and more selfish, and would have considered her own happiness over what was best for him. Dammit, being an adult hurt like living hell.
Ember shook her head.
“Don’t give me that look.” He fisted his hands at his sides, his voice rough and thick.
“Like what?”
“Like I’m Jack in Titanic and you’re Rose floating on a piece of wood debris.”
“You’ve got it wrong,” she said. “It’s the other way around. I’m treading water, and you’re the one on your way to a great life.”
“I can’t have a great life without you in it, Sparky.” Tears misted his eyes.
She was breaking him too. Be strong. You give in now, he’s the loser, the entire world is the loser. “Rose did just fine without Jack. She lived to be a bazillion.”
“One, there’s no such thing as a bazillion, and two, she spent that bazillion years without the love of her life. How could that be just fine?”
“Now you sound like my logical Professor.” She cupped his cheek with her palm. “A big brand-new world has opened up for you, and I’m not a part of it.”
“What do you mean you’re not a part of it? If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Do you think I could have achieved any of this without you?” Ranger asked, his eyes brimming with shiny light. “Who brought my lesson assignments to me every day when I was bedfast? Who did homework with me and quizzed me for tests? Who was always there for me no matter what?”
She shook her head, wishing she could change the way things were. “You have to go to Canada. You have to leave me behind.”
“Sparky . . .”
“Just go.”
“This will end our friendship.” His words came out like blood clots, thick and stringy. “Sex ruined us.”
“I know, baby,” she whispered. “I know.”
Chapter 24
“Of all horrid things, leave-taking is the worst.”
—Jane Austen, Emma
Like an exploded star, Ranger’s hope collapsed into infinity, sucked in by a gravitational pull so powerful that nothing could escape it. Ember had left a black hole in his heart. Blotted out all light.
Ember did not love him the way he loved her.
And she hadn’t heard the humming.
Not that he truly believed in the humming, but the human brain was capable of mysterious things, and everyone was different. Who knew? Maybe there was something in Granny Blue’s DNA that could set off a humming noise in the head under times of stress, because wasn’t that what falling in love was? Stress. Chemical reactions.
Aw shit, aw shit, what was he going to do without Ember? He’d never been completely without her. They’d been apart at times, but they’d never been separated. Always friends. Never broken.
Until now.
He peered through the telescope of his life and found it utterly empty without Ember in it. What did anything matter without her?
“You still with me?” Ridge asked.
Ranger blinked; he was standing beside Ridge’s pickup, the last of his bags clutched in his hands. His brother was giving him a ride to the airport where he was catching a plane to Waterloo.
It had been three days since Ember had taken a wrecking ball to his life, and he was still in a daze. His professional world was whirling like the speed of sound, and he’d been fielding calls and texts and interview requests and job offers and he hadn’t had a spare second to absorb what was happening to him.
“What?” Ranger asked.
“Where did you go?”
“In my head.”
“Oh, that damn place.”
“Yeah. Ridge, what if I don’t go?”
“Meh, nothing much. You miss out on the biggest opportunity of your life.”
“Ember is the biggest opportunity of my life.”
“Hey, I agree with you. I’ve had the big career and I’ve got my own family, and I have to tell you family trumps career every time.”
“Your career was about making more money than Duke. My career could change the world.”
“Well la-di-da, ain’t someone full of himself,” Ridge said, affecting a deep drawl.
“It’s not about my ego, it’s the truth. I could be on the forefront of finding life elsewhere in the universe.”
Ridge cupped his hands around his mouth. “Meanwhile, back here on Earth, he shoots, he misses the free throw . . .”
“Basketball analogies?”
“Why not?”
“Maybe I’m just not cut out for love.”
“Wah, wah. Poor you. Shall we go into the childhood horror stories? Whose mom played it worst? Mine dumped me on Duke’s doorstep and then killed herself. Yours sold you out for two million dollars.”
“With our background, kind of a wonder any women want us at all,” Ranger mumbled.
“Oh, women love fixing damaged men.”
“Apparently not Ember.”
“You don’t think that’s exactly what she’s doing by cutting you loose?”
“Which means?”
“Cruel to be kind, baby.”
Hmm. Dawn had said the same thing to him when he was trying to get Ember to notice him in the first place.
Ridge clamped his hand on Ranger’s shoulder. “It’s all gonna work out, I promise.”
“How do you know?”
Ridge shrugged like it was a foregone conclusion. “Sometimes man, you just gotta trust the universe.”
“You sound like Kaia,” Ranger grumbled.
“I know,” Ridge said proudly. “She’s a wise woman, you should listen to her. Look how things worked out for us.”
“It’s different with me and Ember—”
“Yes, we know, you are God’s gift to astronomy, but here”—Ridge tapped Ranger’s heart—“you’re just a man in love.”
“Screw you,” Ranger said, and threw the bag into the back of the truck to join the other six. Ranger was a minimalist, and most everything he owned besides furniture and vehicles was in those bags.
Chuckling, Ridge climbed into the driver’s seat. “Get a move on, little brother. If you miss your flight, Ember will surely kick my ass.”
After Ranger left, Ember kicked herself into high gear and handled her grief the best way she knew how. Getting her ass off the couch and hustling houses. She had two homes in escrow, and four more waiting to hear back on funding. It had been a productive three weeks, business wise, since he’d been gone.
No sitting around bawling through a box of Kleenex, eating Ben and Jerry’s from the carton while she binge-watched Meg Ryan movies for this gal.
But even so, she still couldn’t pull herself out of her emotional tailspin. Three whole weeks without a word from Ranger. At least not to her personally; Ridge had heard from him and Kaia passed those tidbits of information along to her, but it wasn’t the same thing.
Hey, he’d asked her to marry him and she was the one who said no. What did she expect? She told him to go. He’d gone. End of story.
But
what choice did she have? She couldn’t inflict herself on him. Not with the career he had. She’d gone over it a million times. She simply was not astronomy-genius wife material. She was a pizza and beer kind of girl, in his champagne and massive vocabulary world. Their differences were woven into the very fabric of their upbringing. The Alzates served the Lockharts. How could she and Ranger ever hope to be on equal footing?
At least with Trey they had been birds of a feather.
C’mon! Was she seriously trying to compare Trey to Ranger? She was flipping losing her nut.
“God, just let it go, Ember,” she grumbled, and it wasn’t until Kaia gave her a weird look that she realized she’d spoken out loud.
“Sweetie,” Kaia said, “we’re in the middle of Jiminey’s ice cream parlor.”
Oh yeah. Ember blinked. It was Saturday afternoon, and the place was packed with families enjoying ice cream. Kaia had shown up on her doorstep that morning and announced that she’d pumped breast milk, and Ridge was staying home to watch his daughter and they were going out to shake off Ember’s doldrums.
“You don’t have Ingrid. Why are we at an ice cream parlor and not at a bar?” Ember asked.
“You wanted Rocky Road. Then you took two bites and started crying.”
Ember glanced down at the melted chocolate, almond bits, and marshmallows in the paper bowl in front of her. Oh yeah. “Rocky Road, Ranger’s favorite.”
Kaia sighed and pulled a Kleenex from her purse. “You wanna go home and watch When Harry Met Sally?”
Ember nodded.
“Come on.” Kaia reached for Ember’s purse and slung it over her shoulder with her own.
“You’re a good sister.”
“I know.” Kaia smiled softly. “I understand how much it hurts when you think you’ve lost the love of your life.”
“Kaia, I don’t think it. I know I’ve lost him.”
Her sister nodded kindly. “Uh-huh.”
As they were headed out, the door to the ice cream parlor opened and Palmer walked in with Fiona on his arm. Fiona’s head was resting on his shoulder, and they were both grinning stupid-in-love grins.
“Ember!” Fiona squealed. “There you are! The best matchmaker in the entire world!”
Dial down the enthusiasm a little, sweet cheeks, Ember wanted to say, but she knew it was just sour grapes. Seeing a couple happy together made her think about Ranger, and thinking about Ranger made her cranky.
“I’m a lousy matchmaker,” she said. “I tried to hook you up with Ranger.”
“Yes, that was bad.” Fiona laughed. “I mean, if you’re not good enough for him, which of us mere mortals is?”
“I’m a mere mortal too,” Ember said.
“You are so funny.” Fiona laughed as Palmer slipped his arm around her waist. “Honey, she thinks she’s a regular person.”
“Um . . .” Ember backed up out of the doorway. “I am a regular person.”
“Seriously?” Fiona inclined her head. “You really don’t have any idea how amazing you are? You’re a real estate agent who has sold property to rich and famous people.”
“I’m not rich and famous.”
Fiona waved a dismissive hand. “You’ve directed a movie.”
“An hour-long film for the Chamber of Commerce tourism.”
“I know.” Fiona’s smile was evangelistic. “Isn’t that amazing?”
When Fiona put it like that, it sounded prestigious. Maybe Ember didn’t appreciate her own accomplishments the way she appreciated other people’s.
“You’re classy and refined.”
Ha! Tell that to the snobby knobs at the observatory.
“You were so sweet to Dawn even when it looked like she was trying to steal your man.”
Well, that was true.
“You’re a natural leader,” Palmer added. “You give confidence to the people who work for you.”
“Looky there.” Kaia nudged Ember with her elbow. “Your bossiness comes in handy once in a while.”
“You’re always helping others. The way you helped me and Palmer.”
“But I tried to keep you guys apart.”
“We know.” Fiona slid Palmer a sideways glance and fluttered her eyelashes. He leaned in, and they exchanged butterfly kisses and Ember tried not to roll her eyes. Apparently, she had caused this. “It was genius the way you got us to sneak around. The taboo. It’s so exciting and forbidden. You’re a brilliant matchmaker.”
Yeah, that had not been her plan at all; she deserved zero credit and had, in fact, caused a lot of trouble with her meddling. “I guess love wins out.”
“It does,” Palmer agreed. “We’re getting married next summer and you have to be there.”
Ember blinked, stunned by their news. “I will.”
“Yay.” Fiona clapped her hands. “This is on the down low, but in case you are keeping score for matches made, Chriss Anne and Zeke are seeing each other.”
“Another match made by your wicked clever method.” Palmer winked.
Ookay.
Fiona put a hand on Ember’s shoulder. “You’re a very special person, Ember, can’t you see that?”
“She’s got this hang-up that she’s unlovable,” Kaia whispered loudly to Fiona. “Ex-husband did her dirty, and a few other things. There was a pocketknife and a bloodletting.”
“What?” Palmer looked startled.
“Ancient history.” Ember stepped lightly on Kaia’s foot.
“You can’t let a bad apple take the shine off your light,” Fiona said. “Right, Palmer?”
Palmer pointed at Fiona, his eyes aglow as he studied the woman beside him. “What she said.”
The two of them did make a good match. Why hadn’t she seen that right off the bat?
Why? Because she’d been too busy trying to find the perfect mate for Ranger so he could be happy. That was all she’d ever wanted for him.
But when she’d actually had the opportunity to give him what he really needed to make him happy, she’d taken it away and sent him off to Canada without her.
Chapter 25
“It was foolish, it was wrong, to take so active a part in bringing any two people together.”
—Jane Austen, Emma
Following her epiphany at seeing Fiona and Palmer together, Ember was a changed woman. Despite what Fiona and Palmer thought, it was not her cleverness at matchmaking that brought them together, rather a happy twist of fate.
Who was she to tell people how to live their lives? What did she know about the mysteries of the human heart? There was no rhyme or reason. No perfect theory. No one right way. Sometimes opposites did attract. Sometimes birds of a feather flocked together.
Maybe Granny Blue was right and it was all fated. Written in the stars long before you were born. Maybe there were soul mates. Or maybe it was just two people who loved and cared about each other doing their best to make things work. Maybe it was all of those things and none of them.
The only thing that Ember knew for sure was that she was not in control. She did not know what was best for anyone, much less herself. She was just a woman who loved a man. Loved him so much that simply thinking about him filled her with a deep and abiding joy.
Ranger her friend. Her best friend.
And her lover.
Did she dare hope she could convince him to give her a second chance? She didn’t know, but she did know she had to try.
He was a poker player, and the only way to prove to him she was serious was to go all in. Ember quit her job at the real estate agency, broke the lease on her house, gave Samantha to Kaia, packed her bags, and bought a one-way ticket to Canada.
In Waterloo, Ranger tried to throw himself into his work, but he couldn’t focus. Astronomy was a painstaking process, and a man could spend his entire career on a single project that ultimately contributed less than a drop to the total knowledge of the field.
Ranger was on the cusp of potential greatness, and he just didn’t care. All he could think
about was Ember. Without her, none of his achievements meant a damn thing.
And no matter how hard he tried, work didn’t salve or save him the way it once had.
“You’re missing her,” Dawn said to him late one evening after they’d already put in a full ten-hour day, but still had a massive amount of work ahead of them.
“Yeah,” he admitted.
“So call her.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“She made it clear it was over.”
“How did you get to be an astronomer if you give up that easily?”
“I didn’t give up.”
“No?”
“Ember gave up on herself.”
“And you let her.”
Dawn was right. He’d caved in. Rolled over. Because he loved Ember so much, he would do anything for her, even if it meant walking away.
Dawn’s mouth dipped in a look of sympathy. “It can’t be easy, losing your best friend and your lover in one fell swoop.”
“I’ve known her all my life,” he said. “Whenever anything happens to me, my first thought is . . . was . . . to call her and talk about it. Whenever I have a big decision to make I ask myself WWED.”
“WWED?”
“What would Ember do.”
“That’s really cute. You’re adorbs, you know that, right?”
“I’m a man of thoughts and ideas. Ember is all action. I’m the introvert. She’s the extrovert. I was her brake. She was the kick in my pants. Now . . .” He shrugged, took off his safety goggles, rubbed his eyes. “I don’t have anyone to talk to or kick me in the seat of the pants.”
“You could talk to me,” Dawn offered. “I’ll even kick you in the ass if you like.”
“Guess it couldn’t hurt.” He plunked down on a metal stool, hooked the heels of his cowboy boots over the foot rung.
“What are you sitting down for? I was going to kick you.”
“What am I going to do, Dawn? Work was the only thing that’s ever always been there for me besides Ember. But now that I’ve lost Ember, I’ve lost interest in my work. It’s as if the two are tied together.”
