“You wanna tell me what that was all about the other night?” I threw a sideways glance in Luke’s direction as he took long strides across the dark parking lot.
“Meaning?” he suddenly walked faster.
I ran up beside him to keep up with his quick pace. He was on a mission; he wore his serious, stern expression—one that told me he meant business. He kept his eyes fixed straight forward and didn’t bother giving me the slightest indication that he was going to stop and hear me out. Even under the dark morning sky, Luke’s emotions were easily discernible; he was annoyed to run into me.
“The party. The bonfire. Our little exchange. Any of this ring a bell?” I asked, convinced I was probably just as annoyed with him as he was with me. “We were having a moment, and then you got that call from Bruno and took off without the slightest explanation.”
“We were having a moment?” he returned a glance from the corner of his eye.
“Well, weren’t we?” I took his arm and stopped him in his tracks. “Luke?”
He turned to look at me and then dropped his head. “You’ve gotta stop doing this, Julie.”
“Doing what?”
“Asking me to feel,” he said. “Having irrational expectations—”
“Irrational expectations?” I asked, remembering the way he’d held me, whispered in my ear, and pressed his warm lips to my cool skin. “Luke, you can’t be serious—”
“Julie—”
“I’m not imagining things,” I disputed his next argument before it fell off his lips. “I’m not asking you to feel anything. You already feel, you idiot. What I’m asking is that you stop running from me for one second and admit that I’m not out of my mind.”
“Not the time or place, Julie,” he said, brushing by me to let himself through the doors of the Oakland Police Department.
“This conversation is not over, Lucas Reibeck,” I called after him once inside the building. He disappeared down the hallway without another word.
I stood in the anteroom of the station and waited for him to come back, but he was long gone. Just as I started to turn out, my uncle stepped out of his office and raised his brow.
“Hey,” he took me under his arm and gave me a gentle hug. “What’re you doing here so early? Something wrong?”
I looked down to my watch. 6:00 a.m., right on the dot. It’d be easy for Charlie to assume something was wrong. I had no business getting out of bed and showing up there so early on a school day. But what could I say? I couldn’t tell him the truth.
My original plan had been to find Bruno and find out what was going on between him and Luke. Whatever it was, I had a feeling it had something to do with me. After the way he’d pulled Luke away the other night, I was determined to find out what was going on. But then running into Luke in the parking lot had thrown me off guard, and I assumed it might’ve been a better idea to just ask him directly. If I didn’t get any answers, maybe then I could go to the source and learn more from the Detective. One step at a time, right?
“You know, Uncle Charlie,” I tried to think fast on my feet. “I’m the only person in the senior class who didn’t get to finish my job-shadowing project. After the shooting and everything that happened with Officer Reibeck… I feel like I’ve been…robbed.”
Charlie raised his brow as if he didn’t believe me for a second.
“You feel robbed?” he asked with wide eyes. “Given the circumstances, the school excused you from the project. You’re not obligated to finish the hours, kiddo. Besides, last I checked, you thought the class project was a huge waste of time.”
“I did at first,” I said, knowing the best way to Charlie’s heart. “And though I’ve been around it all my life, it was you who brought me to the station and introduced me to the criminal justice system. You teamed me up with Luke, who showed me firsthand what it means to be a police officer. But I was just getting my feet wet, Charlie. I loved every second I spent shadowing here at the station. And I still have seven hours to complete before I’m done. Like I said, I just feel… a little cheated, that’s all. I want the same opportunity my classmates had. I want to finish the assignment.”
I hated lying to him, but if there was any chance that he’d give in and let me stay long enough to find Luke again, the seven extra hours of pain would be worth every second.
Charlie’s stern expression turned doughy. His cheeks flushed red with admiration as his smile stretched from one ear to the other.
“You really feel that way?” he asked, trying to hide a flattered grin.
“I really do,” I wore my best fake smile. “So, what do you say? Luke’s here now. I can skip school, follow him around for the rest of the day, knock out my hours, and be done with it.”
His smile quickly faded. “Trigger’s here?”
“That’s what I said—”
“Dammit! He did it again,” Charlie mumbled. He looked over his shoulder and scanned the front of the building. “Where did he go?”
I pointed in the direction of the break room. “I can go get ’im—”
“You stay right where you’re at,” he said, storming toward the dimly lit hallway at the back of the station. “Trigger!”
As Charlie disappeared on his hunt for Luke, I kept my feet planted firmly in place. It wasn’t until he’d been gone for a few minutes that I considered leaving, but then Detective Bruno stepped in and casted a sideways glance in my direction.
“Ah, Miss Julie,” he looked at me as if he knew exactly what I was up to. He took a sip from his coffee mug and raised his brows. “I see what you’re doing, and it’s not going to work. You’re in way over your head, sweetheart.”
“I’m sorry?” I asked, crossing my arms at my chest. I stared straight forward and ignored him as I waited for Charlie or Luke to emerge from the hallway.
“It’s time to let go,” he patted me on the back before turning away.
“Let go?” I let my gaze follow him. “Let go of what?”
“Trigger.”
I shook my head. “No way, Detective. Something is going on, and I’m going to find out what it is. You can’t tell me I’m in denial one day, going on and on about the love that we share, and then turn around and tell me I’m in over my head. Make up your mind—”
“I was wrong,” he turned back. “There’s nothing there. I misread the signs. There’s no hope for you, sweetheart, and certainly no love. Not with Trigger, anyway.”
“Looking good, Julie,” Derek offered a hand to help me down from the ladder.
I jumped down from the second step and looked around the high school gymnasium to study our progress. The orange, red, and yellow streamers didn’t do much to lighten up the space, but the balloons, lights, and centerpieces would certainly help after the committee was done adding the final touches.
I’d hoped to be much farther along in the decorating by now, but there was so much to do and so little time to do it all. Even with Derek at my side, I was quickly learning the importance of taking each step one at a time. Despite the fact that I was still learning the value of patience, I couldn’t wait to see how the gym would look after it all came together.
“Sorry I’ve wasted your Friday night,” I clapped my hands together to pound away some dust. “The rest of the dance committee bailed when the forecaster started talking about isolated tornadoes.”
“Wasted?” Derek took my hand and pulled me over to sit next to him on the lowest riser. He dropped his head to one side and gave me that goofy grin of his. “Time spent with you is never wasted, Julie.”
I smiled, appreciating how easy Derek had made the past few days. It never failed; whenever I was hurt, needed a friend, or even a shoulder to cry on, he was there. He had this innate ability to brighten my spirits, make me laugh, and bring a smile to my face (no matter how beaten down I was). Call me crazy, but I almost felt as though we shared some kind of cosmic connection. I always felt as though Derek was perfectly in-tune to everything goin
g on in my life. And when there was pain, he had an unbelievable way of making it go away.
“I brought something,” he reached back and pulled a basket off the raised seat. “I figured we’d be here pretty late, and I wanted to make sure you had sustenance.”
“You brought a picnic?” I asked, trying to disguise the flattery in my voice and my suddenly red cheeks. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I didn’t do anything fancy,” he assured me. “Don’t expect a Matthew-Little-quality meal.”
“Well, if you know me at all, you know the best way to my heart is—”
“Pizza?” he asked, opening the basket to expose the two miniature boxes of carryout from Giovanni’s Pizzeria.
A grin pulled at my lips as the dim gymnasium lights flickered. Thunder rolled overhead, and the rain pelted against the doors as the storm grew stronger. Despite the eeriness of the moment, Derek hadn’t lost his beautiful, heartfelt smile.
“You’re amazing,” I said, dropping my head. “I can’t believe you did this.”
“I guess I know my audience,” Derek said, reaching into the basket to pull out the boxes. There was something about his last statement that was unbelievably sincere; it wasn’t arrogant or bumptious. He seemed as if he were genuinely proud of himself for knowing me well enough to make me smile.
“You most certainly do,” I took a box from him, and I couldn’t help but admire the sparkle in his pale eyes as he passed it over.
As we sat on the bottom level of the risers, Derek and I ate our dinner in silence. I spent most of our meal break looking around the room, analyzing all the areas that still needed a little extra TLC. Derek, as far as I could tell, spent most of that time watching me.
“You didn’t have to do all of this,” I finally broke the silence. “The pizza, the decorations, the company… it’s all very nice. But you didn’t have to—”
“Ah, but I did,” he said, and he added a reassuring nod. “Not to mention, I wanted to help. It’s fun to watch you.”
“To watch me?”
“You’re so determined,” he smiled now as if he was amused by the quality he’d just labeled me with. “I’ve never met a person who’s so eager to get what they want.”
“You think I’m determined?” I asked, because as much as I admired Derek’s opinion, I seriously doubted the validity of his observation. I’d never really thought of myself as a world class go-getter.
“Take tonight, for example,” he brushed some crumbs away from his jeans. “The wind is blowing at 70 miles an hour, the lightning and thunder sound like something you’d only hear in a scary movie, and yet you’re still here, singlehandedly decorating the gym, so that your classmates can enjoy the Fall Ball tomorrow.”
I tried to smile, but something kept me from doing so. Maybe it was modesty, or maybe I just felt like Derek deserved more credit than he gave himself. “I wouldn’t say singlehandedly—”
“Julie,” he said as if he wouldn’t dare let me have a side in the debate.
I gave up my position and shrugged one shoulder. But as I turned and reached for the bottle of water on the riser next to me, my phone buzzed and took me out of the moment.
I picked it up, checked the screen, and scrunched my brow.
One New Message
Luke
I opened the message and read the words.
Storms are getting worse, Jules. You’re not safe there. Stay put. I’m coming to get you.
“Everything okay?” Derek asked, trying to pretend he hadn’t read the message over my shoulder.
“Yeah,” I tossed the phone aside. “Luke says we’re not safe. I’m afraid he thinks the storms are worse than they actually are—”
“It’s not the weather that scares him,” Derek tried to contain a smirk. “He doesn’t think you’re safe because you’re with me.”
He didn’t seem at all threatened by Luke’s suspicions, but it was hard to tell if he was or not; I wouldn’t have been surprised if he was only masking a sullen face, so I wouldn’t feel the need to sympathize.
He turned to pick up the empty pizza boxes and tossed them back into the basket.
“I guess we’re calling it a night?”
“Yeah, I guess,” I cast a forlorn look around the gym.
There was still a lot that needed to be done, and if it didn’t get done in the next few hours… well, I had absolutely no idea, if or when, it would get done at all. It’d be a miracle if the school was ready once all the guests arrived for the Fall Ball tomorrow night.
I watched my friend as he cleaned up the small mess we’d made over dinner. It was only then that I caught him mumbling to himself, and I immediately knew he was a lot more bothered than he’d let on in earlier minutes.
“Hey,” I leaned over to steal his gaze. He caught my eye, but he didn’t hold my stare. “Luke’s not a manipulative, dominant, control freak,” I continued, but I didn’t know if it mattered; Derek seemed to take no interest in hearing my defense. “He’s just looking out for my best interest.”
“Right,” he said, and his tone was suddenly sharp. “He’s just looking out for your best interest, yet whenever you truly need him, he’s nowhere to be found.”
“Ouch.”
“Sorry, Julie, but it’s the truth, isn’t it?” he asked, and shrugged his shoulders apologetically. “He only cares to look out for you when it keeps you from me, or when it’s convenient for him.”
“It’s in his nature to be protective,” I defended Luke yet again. But as each defense fell off my lips, I couldn’t help but question why I’d even wasted my breath.
Derek was right. Luke only cared to come around if he thought I was in some kind of danger. When it came right down to it, it seemed that all Luke ever wanted was to be my hero… and not even a hero I could call my own. True to his nature, his actions were self-serving. He’d get the chance to run in, save the day, and pat himself on the back for a job well done.
And what would I get? Another exchange of awkward glances that would eventually lead to the same place they always led… nowhere. While he ran farther away, I’d keep chasing him. He knew he had his claws in me. He had some undeniable grasp on my heart. He knew I wouldn’t let go no matter what he put me through.
And sadly, I knew I wouldn’t let go.
“Derek,” I hoped that I could prove something in that moment, not only to my friend, but to myself as well. I could have fun; I could be free and independent. I didn’t need thoughts of Luke hovering over me, somehow influencing my decisions, even when he wasn’t around. “I know it’s last minute—and incredibly childish considering this is just a stupid high school thing—but would you like to come with me to the Fall Ball tomorrow? I mean, after all the hours and help you’ve put in, you deserve to enjoy it as much as anyone else.”
A faint smile crossed his lips, but he shook his head. “No.”
“No?” I asked, admittedly shocked. I hadn’t braced myself for any answer besides yes. “Simple as that?”
“Simple as that.”
“Why?”
He sat the picnic basket on the floor and leaned forward to take my hands.
“Because I like you, Julie,” he said, and that only confused me more. “But you’re in love with Luke. And as hard as it is to walk away, I think I’m smart enough to know when it’s time to let go.” He managed a smile, but I could tell it took a lot of strength to muster even that. “I’m not a cat, and you’re not a mouse. I’m not going to keep chasing you. It’s clear where your heart is, and I can’t ask you to feel something you don’t feel.”
“But—”
“Love complicates everything,” he said, as if I didn’t know. “The thing is… I know why you’re running from me; you’re running after him.”
“Yeah,” I whispered, knowing I couldn’t deny that.
“So,” he continued, “if he’s running from you, maybe you should stop and ask yourself what he’s running after. Maybe you won’t like
what you learn. And you might just find that it’s time for you to walk away too.”
“I don’t want to walk away from him, Derek,” I said, and I suddenly felt guilty for saying that to a man who’d just admitted he had feelings for me. It was probably the least sensitive thing I’d ever done, but the words had already rolled off my lips. I couldn’t stop them.
“Finding love is an amazing thing, Julie,” he said, and he only held my hands tighter. “But sometimes… moving forward means letting go. It’s time to say goodbye.”
“To Luke?” I asked as tears welled in my eyes.
“Yeah,” he nodded, adjusting his glasses. “And me.” I watched him for a moment, completely unsure as to whether or not he was being serious. “I don’t think—considering how I feel about you, and how you feel about him—we should continue being friends.”
And as his last few words echoed through the gym, a loud clap of thunder shook the school, knocking the lights out once and for all. The absence of electricity brought the gym into an immediate blanket of darkness. I couldn’t see anything, not even the familiar glare from Derek’s glasses.
I sat still, waiting for the power to be restored, but nothing happened. Very few sounds filled the open space, but I could easily make out Derek as he rustled in the darkness.
“You need to take some time to really think about your life, Julie. You’ve lost perspective,” Derek said, and his voice only got farther away. Though I couldn’t see him, I knew he was heading for the door; he was leaving me all alone. “Luke should be here soon. And while I don’t want you to chance the storm alone, I can’t walk you through this one myself. But I don’t think you should be here when he arrives either. Get out while you still can, Julie. You’re just going to end up hurt if you keep waiting on him.”
FOUR
Just a Little Series (Part 1) Page 17
