by Rhian Cahill
The idea of spending the rest of the day with him sent a thrill through her. Excitement with a twinge of fear zipped along her nerves and buzzed in her ears. The urge to smile and frown as her mind fought over whether to be happy or not about the coming hours confused her more.
How could she have two conflicting emotions about the same thing?
It was times like these—not that she’d had them all that often—that she wished she had a best friend. Or any friend. She’d lived almost twenty-seven years without any real friendships. She had acquaintances, during school and later at work, but no one close enough to share things with, confide in. The two men she’d dated in her early twenties didn’t count. One lasted a total of four dates and the other four months.
Neither had left a lasting impression. Even giving her virginity to Gerard hadn’t made an indent. She hadn’t valued that as a prize or a precious gift and now she wondered why. Shouldn’t something like that be special? Something she could look back on with fond memories or at least some sort of emotion other than indifference?
Would Toby have valued that privilege?
Pulling into the driveway of her modest clapboard house, she shook her head and concentrated on now. There was no point rehashing things she couldn’t change. She hadn’t understood why she’d let things go so far at the time, rewinding the incident now wouldn’t bring her clarification.
A tap on her window made her jump. Turning, she found Toby beside her car smiling in a way that had her own lips tipping up.
Madison might not understand what was happening between them but she knew she didn’t want to miss a second of it. For the first time in her life she felt involved—alive. It was a strange feeling. Not anything like the pleasure she got from teaching, which up until now had been her only source of enjoyment.
Her door opened and Toby offered his hand. Smiling wider, she placed her hand in his and let him pull her from her seat. She laughed when he tugged her against him and dipped her over his arm.
“What are you doing?” She sounded breathless and her pulse sped up.
He grinned. “I missed you,” he said before dropping his head and planting his mouth on hers.
Her lips parted under the pressure of his and when he swept his tongue into her mouth, she stroked it with her own. He may have started the kiss and she might not have had that much experience with the sensual act before meeting him, but she was a damn fast learner. And contrary to her initial beliefs about Toby, he was a damn good teacher.
He broke their lip lock and righted her. “C’mon. Let’s go. We’ll be late if we don’t hustle.”
“What are we doing again?” She led the way to her front door.
“The shops to grab some food, then to a barbeque.”
Madison glanced over her shoulder. “With…?”
He smiled and brushed a fingertip down her cheek. Tapped her chin. “It’ll be fine. You’ll be fine.”
How did he know she was worried? The man appeared to have either mindreading powers or her forehead had acquired an LED screen that flashed her thoughts.
Pulling her into his arms, he dropped a kiss on her nose. “I promise. I won’t leave your side. You’ve got nothing to be scared of.”
Easy for him to say. He’d probably never been in a situation where he felt out of place or totally inept. Those two things pretty much summed up every interaction she’d had from the time she’d graduated high school at thirteen.
Stretching her lips into a wobbly smile, she said, “All right. What’s the dress code for this barbeque?”
The last thing she wanted to do was look out of place before she even opened her mouth. Of course, once she did, everyone would know she was socially clueless.
“You got any sexy summer dresses?”
Madison glanced at the overcast sky. “It’s not exactly warm enough for that.”
“Hmm…okay, as long as it’s not one of those skirt-and-blouse combinations you wear to work, I’m sure whatever you think is good for a casual backyard barbeque will be fine.”
Great. No help at all. She’d never been to a backyard barbeque. She unlocked the front door and walked inside, Toby right behind her, contemplating what she had that would fit in with the type of event he described.
She remembered the lovely pantsuit she’d bought on a whim last year and never worn. It had a halter-neck top but she could throw on one of her light cardigans for warmth.
Heading down the hall, she called over her shoulder, “Back in a minute. Help yourself to a drink if you want.”
“Sure you don’t want any help?” Toby yelled after her.
Laughing, she said, “What, like you helped me in the shower?”
The grumbling moan that followed her into her room sent a thrill through her middle to pulse in her sex.
Need stirred. Lord. For someone who’d had more sex in the last twelve hours than she’d had in her whole entire life, she was craving more.
Toby had her stepping out of her comfort zone with every second they spent together. And while the thought brought fear, Madison felt excitement and joy at the prospect of spending even more time with him.
Chapter Ten
Toby gripped Madison’s hand tightly. She was half a step behind him and he had to tug on her arm a little to get her to keep up. Not that he was walking too fast for her. It was her sudden reluctance to be here that caused her to drag her feet.
“It’ll be fine.” He gave her hand a gentle squeeze.
“I don’t think…”
He stopped and pulled her into his arms. “You’re not thinking, remember.”
“But—”
He pressed his lips to hers and spoke against them. “What do you want to do? Don’t think about what the right thing is. Ignore the fear. Do you want to spend the afternoon with me?”
“Yes.”
Toby grinned, popped a quick, hard kiss on her then pulled away. “See? You should definitely be here.”
“But it’s a family thing,” Mad argued.
“You’ll soon see the Morelands have a different view on what makes family.”
She opened her mouth but before she could get a word out, he spun around and tugged her through the side gate to his parents’ backyard.
At a glance, it looked as though they were the last to arrive. Smiling, he pulled Mad under his arm and walked into the middle of his sister and sister-in-law’s combined baby shower.
Cassie and Shaye held court, side by side, in two expertly carved rocking chairs he knew his Gramps had made. The man might be pushing eight-six but he could still work magic with wood. He had no doubt Granny had made the soft-looking baby blankets both women had in their laps.
Making a beeline for the stars of the day, Toby smiled and nodded as he maneuvered them toward his targets.
“Toby!” Cassie jumped to her feet and threw her hands on her hips. “You’re late.”
He grinned. “Better me than you. How long now? Five days?”
“Five, forever, same dif.” Cassie’s eyes rolled then widened when she caught sight of Madison beside him. She arched on delicate eyebrow. “Did you bring me a present?”
Chuckling at her, he said, “Not yet.” He glanced at Shaye. “Coop’s got that covered this year. Hey, Shaye.”
It was a running joke in their family that Cassie wanted a sister for her birthday every year, and when he’d asked about a present for the baby, she’d told him the baby wanted an aunty.
Looking around, he tried to find his youngest brother. “Where’s Zac? Didn’t he get you what you want too?”
His sister ignored his question and held out her hand to Madison. “Hi, I’m Cassie, Toby’s sister.”
“Oh.” Mad’s cheeks flushed as she untangled herself from his grip. “Sorry. Hi. Madison.”
“Sorry. Mad, the other glowing lady is my sister-in-law, Shaye.”
“Hi.” Shaye waved.
“Nice to meet you.” Madison smiled a little nervously and Toby gave her hand an
encouraging squeeze.
“Toby, get Madison a chair.” Cassie waved at the area beside her rocker. “She can sit with us.”
Madison’s fingers trembled in his. “I…um…”
He pulled her back against him and aimed a glare at Cassie. “I’m going to introduce her around before you start any inquisition.”
Cassie exaggerated a pout as she sat back down. “Fine. Ruin all my fun.”
“Cassie.” The warning came for Cassie’s husband, Luc, as he stepped up behind her chair. “You’ll have to excuse my wife. She’s a little grumpy today.”
“What do you expect? I’m not allowed to breathe without prior consent. I’m bigger than a whale, I have to pee every three minutes and I haven’t seen my toes in weeks.”
“Oh god. Is this what I have to look forward to?” Shaye asked.
“And those are the highlights, don’t get me started about peeing your pants when you sneeze,” Cassie growled.
“Cass.” Luc placed his hand on her shoulder and Toby watched as his sister visibly relaxed, all but melting under his touch.
It still amazed him that anyone could control the hellion that was Cassie. He supposed growing up with five older brothers had something to do with the fact his baby sister took no shit and dished it whenever the chance arose.
“Speaking of peeing…” Cassie pushed to her feet again.
“Wooee…hot damn, now the party’s getting started. Who’s this sexy creature and where have you been hiding all my life, gorgeous?”
“Gramps!” Cassie gasped.
“What?” Gramps didn’t take his eye off Madison and Toby smiled and slipped his arm around her shoulders in reassurance.
“You can’t say stuff like that,” his sister reprimanded.
“Why the hell not? I’ve got eyes. She’s a pretty little thing.”
“That may be but she doesn’t need a dirty old man telling her that,” Cassie argued.
“Humph.” Gramps crossed his arms over his barrel chest. Unlike most elderly, Gramps hadn’t hunched or lost his robust form with age. “I’d rather be a dirty one than a dead one.”
Luc hid a chuckle behind his beer.
“And what’s wrong with telling a pretty woman she’s a knockout?” Gramps asked.
“Well…” Toby rubbed his chin while pulling Mad more snuggly against his side. “It might have a little to do with the delivery. The whole undressing her with your eyes and leaning in with your tongue hanging out was a bit much, old man.”
Gramps pointed a slightly crooked finger at him. “And that right there is why. I’m old. I don’t got time to waste on tact.”
Toby laughed. “Where’s Granny?”
“Shit!” Gramps spun around, a full three-sixty. “Jeez. Give an old man a heart attack why don’tcha.” He thumped his hand on his chest for emphasis.
“There’s no chance of that. You’re too stubborn to have a weak heart.” Cassie grabbed Gramps’s elbow. “Now walk me inside to the bathroom. This great-grandchild of yours is playing punch-the-bladder again.”
“Now, Princess, I told you we should get one of them porta-loo thingies so you didn’t have to keep going inside.”
“I’m not peeing in a plastic box in my parents’ backyard!”
Gramps patted Cassie’s hand as they moved away. Before they were out of earshot, he fired a look over his shoulder at Toby. “And don’t think for one second I’m not coming right back to you to find out how you managed to punch so far above your weight, young man.”
Toby shook his head. “I swear, he’s getting worse with age.”
“He’s always been a rascal.” Granny stepped in front of Toby. “How are you, my favorite grandson?”
“Aw, Granny, you say that to all your grandsons.” Toby leaned down and placed a kiss on his grandmother’s cheek.
“Besides, everyone knows I’m her favorite.” Toby’s oldest brother, Damian, joined the conversation. “And I was first.”
“By one day,” Toby argued. “Mum beat Aunt Janet by one day.”
“Still first.” Damian raised his beer bottle.
Ignoring him, Toby turned back to Granny. “Mad, this is my grandmother, Margaret. Granny, meet Madison.”
***
Madison endeavored to keep everyone’s name straight but there were so many people. Usually putting names to faces wasn’t an issue except this wasn’t the normal teacher/student interaction. She’d taken part in little conversation because she didn’t know what to say or how to contribute most of the time.
She was so used to offering information on a subject and then answering questions or discussing the topic of choice that entering into normal, everyday conversation was proving beyond her.
And everyone here had such a rich history together. They were all so relaxed and comfortable with each other. Madison couldn’t help but feel envious of their connections and ease. These people—this family—were everything hers wasn’t.
The out-of-control feeling she’d had earlier had multiplied by one thousand. It threw her back to those horrible years of school where she’d sat on the fringe of her peers and watched them interact with confidence, leaving her with a sense of inadequacy and loneliness. All those quiet times spent in libraries, in her room, studying, her only connection to the world the words on the pages in front of her.
Always a part of something and yet not…
Hollowness filled her. Sadness.
“Hey. You okay?” Toby wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
She turned her head and forced a smile. “Yes.”
The last thing she wanted was for him to know how uncomfortable she felt around his family. He’d introduced her to everyone over the course of the afternoon and while she’d attempted to talk to all of them, she just didn’t have the skills to go deeper than the most superficial conversation. Her efforts barely scratched the surface of ‘nice weather we’re having’.
“Are you sure?”
His concern warmed her. Turned her smile genuine. “Yes. Just a little tired. Overwhelmed.”
“Yeah, this lot can be a bit much to take even when you’re used to them. Why don’t we cut out? We can go home and watch a movie.”
“Oh, no.” She didn’t want to make him leave his sister and sister-in-law’s combined baby shower. It was bad enough that she felt like a gatecrasher. “You should stay. I’ll call a cab.”
“What?”
The more she thought about that idea, the better it sounded. She needed some time alone to process everything and she really was tired. “You can stay and enjoy the rest of the party and I’ll see you Monday at work.”
Reminding herself that they were coworkers only increased her urge to flee.
“I’ll just say goodbye to Cassie and Shaye.” Madison pushed to her feet. “Thank your parents for having me here.”
Toby stood. “Let’s go.”
“No. No. You don’t have to come with me.”
He gripped her chin lightly but firmly, making it impossible to avoid his gaze. “You’re here with me. You leave. I leave.”
“But—”
“Don’t argue, Mad. You won’t win.” Toby wove his fingers through hers and tugged her toward his sister and sister-in-law.
“Toby.”
“Not another word other than goodbye to my family, Madison.”
Well, there was no denying the hard edge of his voice. Neither could she ignore the little tremor that ran through her at his commanding tone. He’d used that voice on her in bed and she shivered with remembered sensation. What was it about this man ordering her around that heated her blood and softened her muscles? She yielded to his demands and did it willingly.
She’d never been malleable. Never let anyone, other than her parents, tell her what to do. Somehow Toby controlled her. Did it in a way she not only accepted but welcomed.
What on earth had he done to her?
He’d gone from someone she barely tolerated to someone she wanted to spend all her time w
ith. And it wasn’t only his bedroom skills that appealed to her.
She’d discovered so much about the man today.
He loved his family unconditionally. Even those who weren’t blood related got the same level of consideration, the same genuine interest and respect from Toby. He freely showed his affection too. With his family. With her. It wasn’t something she was used to and it took her by surprise every time he directed his attention towards her.
But she was beginning to crave that part of him. Wanted to be on the receiving end of one of his infectious smiles or his care and concern for her wellbeing.
Madison hadn’t felt that level of interest ever. Not even her parents were as attentive to her welfare beyond the rudimentary necessities of raising a child. Unlike the family surrounding her, with its warmth and love, her parents had made sure she was fed and clothed but done little in regard to emotional nurturing.
If she were honest, she’d never felt loved by her parents. She’d just assumed they held that sentiment in regard to her. After spending the afternoon with the Morelands she doubted her parents even knew what real love was. She didn’t understand the depth of emotion this family showed one another. Not with any true knowledge.
She grasped the concept in an intellectual capacity but when it came to the sentiment itself Madison had no personal exposure to drawn on. What she felt for her parents didn’t compare to what she’d witnessed exchanged between Toby and his family. Or even between her and Toby.
Madison wasn’t sure she was capable of such a profound connection though. Surely she would have encountered it by now if she were? Was what she was experiencing with Toby the beginning of a deeper relationship?
So much to think about. Too much to explore while in the presence of the man himself. He’d already proven he short-circuited her brain. She needed space. Time.
Unfortunately, it didn’t look as though Toby was going to give her either.
Chapter Eleven
Madison hadn’t said a word since they’d left his parents’ house. She’s bid a polite farewell and thank you to his sister, sister-in-law and parents, and allowed him to lead her out to his car.
