by Ronnie Allen
Within a few seconds, she heard a nurse enter. “How are you doing tonight, ladies?” No answer. Not even a grunt, sigh or unintelligible sound of communication. “That’s good. I’m glad you’re both doing well. Here to give you your meds for the evening. Charlotte, first yours, honey.” There was a pause. “Here ya go. Drink all the water, hon.” Another pause. “Good girl.”
I never had a nurse so nice. Too bad, she’s retiring--permanently.
Barbara flushed the toilet, delayed a few seconds, then opened the bathroom door leading into the room and saw the cute, twenty-something nurse who greeted her with a smile.
“Oh, hello there.” She read her nametag. “Dr. Jones. I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Valerie. Charlotte and Julie’s night nurse. And you’re here to see...”
“Nice to meet you, Valerie. I’m sorry, neither of them is my patient. I just got off the elevator and had to use a restroom so badly that I ran into the first room. They’ve seen me before, so I knew I wouldn’t upset them. Sorry if it’s against protocol, but I drank too much coffee and got stuck in traffic coming from Manhattan.”
“Not a problem, Dr. Jones. Then I assume you didn’t sign in yet?”
“No I didn’t. I will now.” Barbara approached her as if she was leaving the room.
“Dr. Jones, who is your patient?”
Damn. People just ask too many questions. Psychiatrists ask too many questions. Colleagues ask too many questions.
“Dr. Jones?”
“I’m not at liberty to say. It’s a criminal case.”
“Excuse me? Dr. Jones, we still have to know who you’re seeing.”
“That won’t matter much to you, Valerie.”
Valerie attempted to back away, bumping into an IV pole. She dropped Julie’s meds, that were in a one-ounce white paper cup, onto the floor, probably envisioning her life flash before her eyes. She watched the pills scatter. That was enough time for Barbara to grab Valerie in a chokehold, turning her around so her back leaned against Barbara’s chest. In one swift jerk of the crook of her left arm, Barbara pulled Valerie’s neck to her side and fractured it, killing the nurse before she knew what had hit her. Barbara laid Valerie on the floor, her eyes bulging. The two patients stared, without any reaction, at Barbara. “Sorry, ladies, your night nurse retired.” Without taking a second look at Valerie, Barbara stuck her hand into her tote and pulled out a pair of designer glasses. She held them up to the light to check for dirt before she put them on.
She opened the door, looked down the hall, and saw staff, but no one looked in her direction. She left the room and, even though the elevator was right there, she bypassed it as the room next door drew her in. She slipped in to the room where two women--around forty, wearing hospital night gowns--silently paced back and forth, from the window to the door, in a slow rhythmical pace, as if they were listening to “Pomp and Circumstance” running through their fried brains. She focused on one woman, wearing a nametag of Lois Carrolls, and smiled in recognition.
Little Kellie, at ten, had approached little Lois, also ten, and poked her. Kellie was in a vengeful rage. Lois was schizophrenic. Kellie heard herself say, “Come on, Lois, come on Lois, betcha can’t catch me.” She’d pummeled Lois, poked her in her eyes with her index and middle fingers, and punched her nose so severely she bled. A nurse ran over and pulled her off Lois. Two attendants, assisting the nurse, dragged Kellie over to a bed and restrained her unmercifully.
Timing brought her back to reality. She had to move. After composing herself, she opened the door, only to bump full body into a nurse. “Oh.” She scanned the nametag. “Karen, I’m sorry.”
“Who the hell are you, lady?” Karen was so wide she blocked Barbara’s way out.
“I’m Dr. Jones. I just stopped in to visit one of my former patients. Lois. How is she doing?”
“Prognosis isn’t good. Wait a minute, honey. Did you arrange this with her doctor?” Karen remained with her flabby arms out, holding each side of the door with a nasty grin on her face. “Did you sign in?”
“No, to both, Karen. Just got off the elevator.”
“When did you work with her?”
“Two-thousand-two, during my internship.”
Karen gave her the up and down. “Wait here and don’t you dare move your lily-white butt.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Out of sorts already and it’s the beginning of the shift. Definitely needs a career change.
Barbara understood Karen’s suspicious glare. However, the nurse was too out of shape to make it to the nurse’s station, that was all the way down the hall and around the corner, quickly. Barbara took advantage, snuck to the stairwell at the end of the hall, and vanished.
Good thing you’re slow. That just saved your life. On the other hand, I think she wanted me to disappear. Less work for her.
***
Barbara was used to stairwells like this. The handrails were double parallel bars about four inches in diameter that ran down on both sides of the fifteen step flights. Chunks of paint had fallen off, revealing years of layering with poor paint jobs. She held onto both sides with her tote over her shoulder and propelled herself without hesitation down the flight, only touching ground twice. The same with the next flight and the next. She met no one.
I could kick myself for wasting time. I could have avoided that last bitch altogether. Don’t think she’s smart enough to identify me.
Ninth floor.
Can’t worry about that now. Why was I so drawn to see Lois? Why? I don’t know. Why did I want to see anyone from my past?
Seventh floor.
Maybe I needed a reminder. Maybe I needed a reminder of why I’m doing all of this. That’s right. What I’m about to do is right.
She sprinted down two more flights without thinking. Fifth floor.
I have to get even with all of them for the betrayal. Focus, Barbara, focus.
She made it to the ground floor hardly winded. She straightened her suit, her wig.
She opened the stairwell door carefully. The lobby bustled with people coming and going. Visiting hours at the hospital ran late. She was casual, but alert, and walked through the lobby, cognizant of everyone around her. Nothing suspicious. No one gave her a second thought.
She got into a turnstile to exit the building in the main lobby and saw John entering through another door.
Outside, in the service lane, yellow and black cabs lined the curb. She dashed to the first cab in line and jumped in.
He pulled away. “Hello, Doctor.”
“Two stops in Brooklyn and then upper west side, Manhattan.”
CHAPTER 34
Three Years Earlier:
John parked behind Vicki in her driveway and hoisted Ricky, sound asleep, out of the back seat. The only light illuminating the pavers to the house was the row of garden strobes. The eerie darkness in the woods behind them and the natural quietness rattled Ricky. He awakened, looked around, still clinging to John’s neck.
John could only imagine what went through his little mind. Whom should he trust? Who would calm him? Who would soothe his hurt and pain? His little brain must be falling apart in his head. From the way he expressed himself, his feelings and emotions were more developed than any five year old’s should be. He had lost his innocent childhood. How was he going to get that back?
What could John and Vicki do, in just two short days, until Ricky’s aunt and uncle arrived from Miami? How would he be able to let the boy go after he’d fallen so in love with him? The thought made John’s heart break. Right now, his heart was embraced in his arms.
“Have a good nap?”
Ricky rubbed his eyes. “Where are we?”
“At Vicki’s house. Did you eat dinner?”
“No.”
“Are you hungry?”
“Very.”
John put Ricky down in the entryway to the great room. The little guy looked around with wide, open eyes.
“Okay, I am going to give yo
u a bath and Vicki will make you some dinner.”
Ricky’s expression changed and he shot John a serious frown. John smiled, not knowing what Ricky meant, yet.
“Sounds like a plan,” Vicki said. “What do you want to eat Ricky? It’s late so how about some cereal and milk?”
“What kind of cereal? I only eat Fruit Loops.”
“Um, don’t have that here. How about Cheerios? Every kid likes Cheerios.”
Ricky looked down at the tile floor. “Okay. If that’s all you have.”
“Do you want soft boiled or scrambled eggs with toast?”
“Egh!” He crinkled his nose. John got a kick out of this and laughed.
“Just Cheerios and toast with lots of butter,” Ricky said.
“Not so much butter. Come on, bath time, and Vicki will make the bed for you. Come on, champ.” John grasped his hand and Ricky pulled away, fast.
“I don’t wanna bath.”
John couldn’t believe the challenge. “What?”
Vicki paid attention with her hand over her mouth, concealing a laugh. John smirked at her.
“I don’t wanna a bath!” Ricky shouted.
“Why not?” At first, John found this humorous.
“I hate it!”
“Why? Tell me, champ.”
Ricky stomped around the space. “I hate cold water!”
John took his concern seriously. “It’s okay. Vicki has warm water.”
“No, she don’t! Nobody has hot water where we live.”
“We’ll make it as warm as you want. I promise. Come on, champ. You have to.”
“No! I don’t!”
John applied the rational approach. “Vicki has nice clean sheets, blankets, and pillows for you. You don’t want to get them dirty do you?”
Ricky pursed his lips. “I don’t care!”
“This isn’t happening.” Dealing with a tantrum wasn’t his thing. John scooped him up in his arms and carried him into the guest bathroom, despite Ricky’s loud protests and attempts to wriggle out of his arms.
“Let go a me!”
John didn’t comprehend this at all, and nearly missed getting socked in the nose. “I’ll let you feel the water and we’ll make it as warm as you want, okay?”
“I’m too tired for a bath,” Ricky cried.
John held him close and patted his back. “Okay, champ. It’s okay. Come on.” For whatever reason, be it John’s strong presence or his warmth, or his own fatigue, Ricky yielded.
Without saying a word and, with no additional confrontation, John removed Ricky’s dirty T-shirt and shorts, then his underwear. John barely wanted to touch the foul smelling clothing, so he held it with his thumb and forefinger behind Ricky’s back. The crying lessened to whining and then subsided. “It’s okay, Ricky. I’m doing all the work. You’ll feel better and then you’ll eat. And then you’ll get a good night’s sleep, okay?”
Then John noticed some remaining red handprints on Ricky’s bottom from his latest spanking. He cuddled him in his arms to comfort him as he poured in some bath cream and adjusted the temperature in the bath.
I hope they get life.
“Here, champ. Put your hand in and feel it. Warm enough?”
“Yes, but--” Ricky crinkled his nose. “It smells like flowers. I’ll smell like a girl!”
“It’s gardenia, and you won’t smell like a girl. I use Vicki’s bath creams when I’m here, too.”
“An’ you don’t pass the pew test, neither.”
John laughed. “Pew test? What’s that, champ?”
“Grandma says Mommy doesn’t pass the pew test when she smells from cigarettes. I don’t like that smell, neither. It makes my asthma come.”
“You won’t have that smell here, champ. And I’m going to shower with this bath cream when you’re having something to eat. So in ya go.”
In the tub, John splashed him with some suds and Ricky, for the first time, giggled and splashed him back. That play John permitted. He won the first battle. He came out of it soaked but at least Ricky was clean. John pulled short-sleeved PJs from the bag Ricky’s grandmother had packed. Ricky put them on himself.
***
“Up ya go Ricky, onto the nice, soft bed.” John lifted him up and tucked him under the oversized comforter. He sat on the bed with one arm over Ricky. “Comfy?” Ricky tried to hide tears. “What’s the matter, champ?”
“Where are you and Vicki going to sleep?”
“In Vicki’s room.”
“I don’t want to sleep alone. I’m scared.”
“Oh, Ricky, I know. It’s a new bed in a new house. But you’ll be fine.”
“But the bad people come at night an’ wake me up an’ give me bad dreams.”
“Well, they won’t come tonight, because the bad people don’t know where you are and they can’t find you. And Vicki and I will stop anyone bad. Okay?”
“But how can you stop them? They’re in my head.”
John was shocked he comprehended this. This is way too mature for a five year old. “You’re such a smart little kid. You know that?”
Ricky giggled. “Yes.”
“Here’s what you do. Tell the bad people not to come any more and you won’t let them in. Say it, go ahead.”
“Bad people don’t come anymore! I mean it!”
“Very good. Here’s one of Vicki’s teddy bears to cuddle and he wants to sleep with you, too. I have to go to sleep also. I’m very tired. And you should be, too.” John planted kisses on his cheeks.
Vicki appeared with an American Indian Dream Catcher. “Here Ricky, I’m putting this over the bed and it will catch any bad dreams, so you don’t have them. Okay?” She fastened it to the headboard.
“Wow, will it work?” Ricky handled the feathers and looked mesmerized by their texture and rich colorations.
“Yes, it will. An Indian chief at a reservation here in Florida told me so and I believe him.”
“Okay, then I’ll believe him, too.”
“Sleep tight, sweetheart.” Vicki kissed him. “Let’s go, he’s a big boy and he’ll be fine.” She was a lot more confident than John was.
John kissed him on top of his head and rustled his damp hair.
In the bedroom, John slowly began to undress, removing his tank, as he waited for Vicki to do the same. She grabbed a not-so-sexy beige cotton oversized nightgown from her drawer and tossed it onto the bed while he surprised her with I-hope-you’re-not-wearing-that look.
“Not tonight. I’m exhausted. So should you be. You worked hard tonight. And I shouldn’t have to remind you that creep could have shot you.” She sat on the bed with her back toward him and raised her arms above her head so he could remove her tank top. Then he unclasped her bra.
“At least you came home to change.”
She turned and looked up at him adoringly.
“I am tired,” he said. “But I just want to hold you close and that doesn’t do it for me. Lose the nightgown.”
“Ignoring that?”
“Ignoring what?”
“That Dunn guy could have killed you!”
“Loose the nightgown.”
“John, do you always put yourself into danger like that?”
“Only when I know I can handle it. And I’ve done it before. Don’t worry. It’s my job. Just like it’s your brothers’. I’m sure their wives worry, too. Occupational hazard. But believe me we’re all as careful as we can be. And that kid sniper in the tree had my back.” Staring at the nightgown, he picked it up, held it out, and dropped it like vermin. “I’m not going to say it again, lose this schmatta.”
She laughed. John knew she got the drift.
“Oooooh, tough guy, and if I don’t?”
“I’ll tackle it off you.”
She laughed and put the gown back in the drawer. Taking off her shorts and panties, she joined him as he was already under the comforter. He cuddled her close, lying on his stomach with his right arm over her breasts. Her body warmed his skin.
He deposited soft pecks with his lips on her neck.
“Um, cuddly. You feel so nice and warm. And you smell like gardenia. Yummy. Always sleep raw?”
“No. Usually just briefs, but I’ll manage for a few hours,” he said. “Tell me what you got yourself into.” He propped himself up on his elbows on his left side, facing her, and gave her his undivided attention.
“What?”
“What? Come on. The reason why your father and brother are so overprotective. What did you do?”
“John, it was years ago and I’m over it.”
“Well, obviously, they’re not.”
“That’s their problem.”
“No, it’s our problem, too. I don’t appreciate being monitored.”
“So tell me about your failed relationships.”
“I’ve had my share. Believe me. If you’re over it, then you should be able to talk about it.”
“Playing shrink, are you?”
“It’s who I am. I always need answers, relentlessly.”
“Can’t this wait till tomorrow? I’m exhausted.”
“No. It can’t wait.”
“I was in a lousy marriage fifteen years ago. I was twenty-two, very young, and infatuated with this guy. It only lasted three months. There, ya happy?”
“No. What did he do?”
“You want the gory details?”
“Every one.”
“Why?”
“Because I, uh, want you in my life and I want to know what makes you happy and sad, and I want to know more about you.”
“Want me in your life--”
John cut her off. “Vicki, I’m in love with you.”
“John.” She embraced him with a warm, long loving kiss. “I’m in love with you, too.”
He held her in a tight embrace. It was what he wanted to hear. Exhausted, but still in the mood to caress and hug, they were interrupted by Ricky, who sauntered in rubbing his eyes.
Weary, they looked up at him.
