by Ema Alves
Elektra laid on a silk veil. Reddish like fire, her hair found its dwelling in a honey-colored complexion. The thin wavy strands made her large green eyes even more prominent.
Elektra had grown up and was now a beautiful woman. Nonetheless, she had a secret in herself that she was not aware of. She had been raised by Meridian, the good Wizard who had to keep it from her.
All the forest creatures followed, loved and cherished her. All the people respected her. She was a princess and this was her little kingdom.
For two years straight, she crossed the Sibyl woods to stand by the river and, from it, look at the other bank. Her thoughts followed one another. A quest for knowledge was taking control of her soul. She devised and posed countless questions to the trees the river separated. «What kind of wonderful worlds are you hiding?». «Why have I been denied access to your world?». And there was the same answer every day: silence. A compromising silence. But her curiosity grew day after day, so much that it made her feel trapped in her own world.
- Do you feel sad?
The silence was ended by Meridian’s voice, who, riding his white steed, had approached the place like mist. Elektra suddenly turned and looked at him. He got off his horse, sat beside her and stared at the tree line, which, on the other side of the river, extracted water from the torrent.
The twittering of the nightingales joyfully colored the monotonous silent melody. But a tender voice sounded louder than the surroundings, surpassing the most beautiful sound of the birds.
- No. I’m lonely.
- You have us. A people, a forest, nature.
- My thoughts... I’m the only one who can listen to them. That’s the reason why I say I’m alone.
- We all are. We are autonomous and that gives us the ability to be different from everyone else.
- Yes. And the ability to hide what we want from others...
The words of Elektra sent goosebumps down the Wizard’s spine. Did she know something already or perhaps she had found out about the evilness she carried?!! He had raised her for eighteen years, without revealing that she was different. But, now, he wondered if that had been the right decision. Wouldn’t it have been better to inform her about what she was right from an early age? No. Her childhood would have been tainted by grief and despair. But time could heal everything. The open wound would heal in the end, and she soon would be ready to face the world.
It was pointless to worry about past mistakes. Perhaps, that was the right time to tell her. She was an adult already, she would understand the reason why that fact had been kept from her. It would be an attempt to fix the mistake. Yes, that was the right thing to do. «The secret will be revealed». Meridian pondered.
When he was about to speak, Elektra interrupted him.
- What lies behind those trees? Why haven’t you taken me with you on one of your trips? Is it such a bad land? What dangers does it hide?
Meridian sighed with relief. After all, Elektra didn’t suspect anything. She was simply wondering about the world around her. Perhaps it would be better to hide the secret for a bit longer.
- Delightful kingdoms are found behind those trees but, most of the men who inhabit them, albeit not evil, nurture dreadful feelings that corrode their souls. Those who stand against their ideologies and dogmas are immediately subjected to unmentionable punishments.
- First, you spike my curiosity even more, telling me how delightful the kingdoms are, and then you scare me. But why should I be fearful if I do not consider myself a threat to them?
- We are a people of wizards. We love nature. People look at us with disdain, they respect us nonetheless, but that respect comes from fear. That is the reality. They are afraid of us because we have powers that they cannot wrap their heads around. Everything that they don’t know is the devil’s work, in their perspective.
- What entity is that? – she curiously asked.
- They have different names for it. They see it an alter-ego of God Himself, saying it is responsible for the evil that plagues the world. How stupid they are! They don’t know that evil comes from within, they attempt to neglect their own responsibilities, putting the blame on this entity – he paused as he exhaled and then proceeded: - envy, hatred, well, all feelings of rebellion are fed by a force greater than fear. That is the fear of being judged by God, hence losing access to their divine paradise home.
- Take me around the world. Why would there be any sort of danger for me? You and everyone in this village often travel beyond the forest and nothing bad has ever happened to you. Why would it be any different for me?
Meridian felt trapped. Deep down, he knew that he could not forever imprison the one who longed for freedom so much. Many wizards had departed from Heidegger and then became powerful advisors to kings. As a matter of fact, such was the fate that every mystic of the Sibyl forest intended to achieve. It was an attempt to keep the telluric forces balanced, to teach goodness to man, giving them assistance to prevent the emergence of wars that would plague the world. This impeded men from being destroyed themselves along with nature. It was a strenuous task but, over hundreds of generations, there had been positive results.
Elektra was aware of those stories and, sooner or later, Meridian would also become one of those mystical advisors working in some distant court. But what about her?... Would she go with him? – she questioned herself.
- We will talk about that later - Meridian declared, standing up.
Elektra sensed that her father was dodging the subject. But why would he do that? She thought that she was being denied access to something superior. But what would that be?
Meridian had adopted Elektra. She often heard him tell the story about how he had found her and took her to Heidegger. She felt at home there. She was respected, everyone liked her, but something was forcing her out of that place. It seemed like she had to finish something that someone told her to. Such an odd feeling that was!!! Did Meridian know why she had been abandoned at such an early age?
- Why was I abandoned? - she asked right after, trying to push the darkness away from the uncertainty that clouded her past.
- Because you are too beautiful and perfect - Meridian informed.
Elektra could see that he was not lying. Meridian had never lied before. But the answer made her even more confused. How was that a reason to abandon someone?!! Who could reject a beautiful and perfect child?
Her thoughts were suddenly curbed by Meridian’s voice, who, at the top of his horse, held out his hand.
- Let’s go, jump on it.
She grabbed his hand and mounted the horse. There was an awkward silence throughout the journey. They were both delved into their wandering thoughts. He did not want to see her suffer and she wanted answers to every question.
*
Back at Heidegger, a small apprentice walked to them with a gorgeous white mare, grabbed by the reins.
- This is your birthday gift – Meridian said to Elektra.
Using one hand to contain her skirt, she got off the horse and felt marveled by such an amazing gift. She fondled the animal, turned to Meridian, and thanked him.
They hugged each other. They were happy again. She felt that she now had more freedom and he was blessed to have raised such a beautiful girl.
Meridian relished the light scent of her soft skin and thought that nothing had changed since that one morning when he had found her freezing by the river. He also recalled the conversation with Danui-an, his master, who in the meantime had departed to the kingdom of Safed, where he served as the court’s magician.
Meridian stared into the emptiness that presented itself beyond the tree line and, feeling his daughter’s ocean of curly hair, he tried to push her thoughts towards Danui-an. «Look at how beautiful she is now! She lived up to her name, don’t you think... Master?»
*
A white figure slowly wandered among the green and brown tones. The alabaster dress briefly exposed rosy female breasts, which swayed mildly, following the sl
enderest trot of her riding. Her long legs felt the thin and warm fur of the animal’s loin. Tiny thrusts with the heel of a delicate foot forced the horse to increase its fugacity towards the edge of the forest. She quickly reached the riverbank and, when she thought that there was now more freedom available to her, she realized that such a feeling was nothing but a specter. The river was still blocking the access to the rest of the world.
Discouraged by a sense of confinement, she fiercely pulled the reins, turned around and rode back to the village at full speed through the trees. The kind mare, as if understanding its owner’s feelings, galloped frantically, trying to provide some sort of freedom. But that feeling of less oppressiveness was temporary and did not satisfy Elektra’s soul.
*
After reaching Heidegger, she ran to the temple, trying to find Meridian. She looked for him in every room, she was determined to question him. She wanted to know the world, she wanted to go with him on his next endeavor. It was the only way out. The desire for freedom was burning inside her and she wanted to liberate herself from the invisible curtain that denied the access to the outside world. Time was short. She also knew that Meridian would one day depart to never return again. He would be a sage in some distant court and she would be left behind.
Those questions she was now asking herself remained asleep inside her for the short eighteen years of her life. During that period, she considered herself happy and equal to any sorcerer’s apprentice, but she now knew that it was not true, because all of them already had contact with the humanity that lived beyond that prison of hers. Yes, indeed, she felt imprisoned and she did not know the reason. It was time for freedom and time to be like the others.
She tried to find Meridian to no avail. He was not in his room, although this was his meditation hour; the wizard’s much-needed routine to reestablish his strength. That was the way he partook of the universe. For years, he had shared the moment with her. She had learned from him the art of focusing, visualizing and fusing one’s soul with all things created through controlled breathing.
To run faster, she grabbed with both hands the long skirt that restricted her movements. A puff of anguish quivered the fire that burned inside her. Where was Meridian? Only one reason could justify the wizard’s absence. “Did he leave without telling me?” Such had never happened before. Whenever he left, Meridian informed her about it. She often heard some instructions and advice over and over again. She already knew them by heart, but, since she had always been like a daughter to him, his protective instinct ranked above reason.
Fearing that something bad would happen to her in his absence, Meridian probably had not left the village. Unless... he already considered her a woman and, because of that, this time reason would have defeated the instinct of protection. If that was the case, he already trusted her! She reflected.
She speedily walked down the temple stairs and, approaching Lotus, the sorceress who helped Meridian raise her, she asked:
- Where’s my father?
- He had to travel. He received a message from Danui-an and departed to meet him.
- But... he didn’t tell me anything?
- Why would he, Elektra, you’re a woman already.
Her thoughts were right after all. Meridian no longer considered her a helpless child, that was for sure. The sense of responsibility already throbbed inside her, which, reflected on her actions, sculpted in her father’s mind the bas-relief of trustworthiness.
But that light, plump smile was shattered as quickly as it had emerged. Why had not he taken her with him? Why does she keep hidden from the eyes of the world? - she thought once more. She could not stop that stream of ponderations. It took control of their mind like short-lived thunder, which, without warning, pierced the sky on a stormy day. That was how she felt. There was inside a dam about to shatter with an emotional storm. But she knew how to control her emotions and patience was a virtue that any sorceress would have to display. She would wait for Meridian’s return and, on his next trip, she would go with him. If he refused, she was already an adult who could go by herself.
However, she could only wait now, enjoying Lotus’ company.
Walking side by side, they entered the old woman’s little house.
- You have become a beautiful woman, Elektra. – Lotus declared, staring at the girl, who had sat down in front of her in the small kitchen, clouded by the hearth’s smoke.
- What is it like to feel love for a man? - Elektra asked, allowing her wonders to flow.
Lotus quivered, albeit a normal question for a girl her age, Elektra was not a girl like the others. How could she answer that question, without disclosing her secret, which kept her from being loved?
She tried to circumvent the question with a different one.
- Did you like your gift?
Elektra noticed Lotus’s effort to avoid the question. Lately, she was struggling to have answers for her natural-spirted curiosity. She was acquainted with the word games of Heidegger’s wise men, with the truths behind their ornamented statements. But those sages did not play with words when confronted with her questions, they simply said nothing and dodged the issue, answering with new questions. Was it so difficult to answer such simple questions?
Feeling suspicious, she asserted to herself that, from that moment on, no evasive technique could deter her.
- I liked it. But, answer my question. What is it like to feel love for a man? – she proceeded, raising a suspicious eyebrow.
Lotus had managed to won just a few seconds. Those brief moments were not enough to give her a concise and clear answer. A bit red-faced, she asked:
- In what way?
- Feeling the arms of a man! Wishing him avidly!
Lotus felt lost. A major torrent of sadness took control of her eyes and, turning them into slaves, they were now protruding with tears. She knew it was impossible for Elektra to get the love she wanted. “Poor beautiful creature!”
Stopping herself from declaring what he felt, she turned her face away and wiped the tears off her face.
- Why are you crying?
- Nothing... I’m just glad to know you’re a woman already. – Lotus declared, dodging the main point yet again.
- Yes, I know. Lately I have been feeling... different... You know?... A woman, yet a lonely one! A sort of loneliness that consumes me all over!! Heat waves, a sense of emptiness and sadness!!!
Lotus’ sadness kept growing. She was already an old woman, she had always lived alone, although she had chosen that same path without regretting it a bit. Yet, on a short trip to the past, she had unburied memories covered by time, and she wondered if that route had been worth it. She remembered that she had been a beautiful woman like Elektra and, just like her, she longed for a man’s love. But her sad fate only had loneliness has company.
Although for dissimilar reasons, it was no different with Elektra. Fate was so unfair! She clearly felt that the girl did not want to trace Lotus’ path. She wanted to love and be loved, to have children, only then she would attain happiness. But the secret, unbeknownst to her, prevented her from reaching happiness. And she, like Lotus, would have one day to embrace the gloomy solitude.
Dismally, Lotus wanted to reveal that secret, thus fixing a mistake occurred in the past. But, knowing that it would destroy the dream of a whole life, she circumvented the issue once more.
- How can I answer that question when I have always been a lonely woman? I have never experienced or felt desire for any man, because I never feel alone myself. I’m in peace with nature and that is my only love: to love all things created, as part of a universal essence that has breathed life into us.
But that had been an artificial answer and Elektra sagaciously refuted it.
- How can you affirm that you love all things created if you have never experienced love for a man? How can you be in peace with the Universe if you have never experienced carnal love?
Lotus smiled. Elektra was no longer a child indeed. That observation
al stance revealed a good spiritual development.
Incapable of deceiving her any longer, she could only tell her own sad story. She would now have to recall once more those painful memories she had repressed in consciousness’ volatile water. But she did it for good reason and, perhaps, Elektra would forget her own troubling questions.
- You're right, Elektra. As a matter of fact, before I made the decision to be alone... I did love a man. The most beautiful and good of all.
Elektra trembled. Why had she lied to her? What man was that, who, for so many years, consumed Lotus to the point that she did not want anyone else? Was that love? Was that to live with the continual torment of losing the other one day and, when that person finally vanishes, would it be impossible to fill the emptiness?
- Why did you lie to me?
- Because I didn’t want to recall what happened... It’s immense suffering – she tearfully said.
- Why do you suffer? Did he die? If he has, you will meet him one day in the astral world, you know it and, when that happens, both of you will fuse as one.
- Yes. We all believe in that adage, deep down. The merging of two twin souls. But that truth does not apply to me and him. In fact, it is impossible.
- Because? - she shockingly asked - Aren’t you his soulmate? – Elektra felt confused, a love as big as the one Lotus probably felt was only feasible between two matching souls. What reason could prevent them to be together as one after death?
