by Cydney Rax
“Okay,” I tell her. “You know you can’t call him. You gotta stay in control by letting him call you first. Even if it’s your fault. Just give it till tomorrow or through the weekend and do not contact him first. You know this!”
“I know, I know, but sometimes it’s so hard. I know you’re right, though. There have been plenty of times guys were pissed, and I called the man just for him to treat me worse.”
“There ya go. Learn from your mistakes.”
“Yeah. Maybe…maybe you can talk to him for me. Or call him and ask him what’s going on, like you don’t know anything…just see what he says. Will you do that for me? Tomorrow?”
“Girl, no problem whatsoever. Uh, can you give me his number, though? I think I have it, but give it to me again just in case.”
“Yeah, here it is.”
I can’t believe the lengths I go to. I should be ashamed. Am I? Don’t know. We chat a bit, then hang up.
When I look up I see Seaphes standing beautifully naked in my doorway.
“How long you been standing there?”
“I just got here. It took you so long I felt kinda weird. You were talking to your man or something?”
“No, it wasn’t like that at all. Just something I had to handle that couldn’t wait.”
“But I could wait?”
“Don’t be mad. I’ll make it up to you.” I walk over to him and try to grab his dick, but he steps back out of my reach.
“Oh, okay,” I say. I nod at his penis.
“You were on the phone for a long time.”
“It’s probably just as well,” I say, to my own surprise.
“You’re not in the mood?” he asks, sounding shocked yet relieved.
“To be honest, nope, I’m not. That phone call took a lot out of me,” I admit wistfully, grateful to have that telephone interruption as my excuse for what’s really going on inside of me.
“Then don’t answer it next time,” he says in an unconvincing voice.
“I’ll remember that.” I gesture at him to follow me back into the living room, but he grabs me around the waist and holds me tight, making me feel happy and secure.
“I’m glad we didn’t do it,” he murmurs. “I’m sooo glad we didn’t go there.”
I stiffen. “You are? Why not? You don’t want me?” I ask, letting my pride get the best of me.
“I just think it wouldn’t have been the right move. Don’t get me wrong, I could fuck the life out of you and it probably would have been real good, but this here is the best outcome. We weren’t meant to be.”
I grit my teeth. Slowly, I say, “I think you’re right.”
And as I’m walking him out, I’m thinking about Veron and wondering what I’m going to do the next time I talk to her.
—22—
VERON
I sit behind the wheel of my car, shaking, until I can no longer see the SUV, until its taillights disappear in the darkness.
“Let me get this over with,” I say to myself. I take a deep breath and walk up the sidewalk and ring the doorbell.
“Veron?” Demetria says, squinting and rubbing her eyes. She’s wearing a wrinkled blouse and some slacks.
“You were asleep?”
“Uh, I was…” But that’s all she says.
“May I come in?”
She hesitates for a second but opens the door.
“Did I interrupt something?” I ask, a bit sharply.
“What, you giving me attitude? Aren’t you the one popping over to my crib without warning?”
“Yep, I am. Why was an Armada parked outside your house just a few minutes ago?”
“W-what?”
“What nothing. I just rolled up but noticed his ride. What was he doing here?”
“He who? You mean that lame-ass Seaphes?”
“So he was here?”
“Girl, yeah, you told me to ask him what was up. I asked him to come by to fix my computer.”
“I didn’t mean to have him over that very second! And does fixing your computer mean having a blanket and some pillows lying on the floor?”
She sighs heavily. “Girl, you are tripping big time. Darren was over here, too. When Seaphes arrived Darren got pissed, so he rolled out.”
My hands are trembling and so is my heart. I hate fussing with anyone, let alone my best friend. When she walks over to me and wraps her arms tightly around me and pats me gently on the back, I take deep breaths and am able to regain my composure.
“Girl, have a seat. You want something to drink?”
“I see you’ve already been drinking,” I say looking at the two glasses sitting on her coffee table.
“You know, I wanted to find out some of his likes, et cetera, so it was very good info. I killed two birds with one stone. Oh, and he doesn’t have mono—”
“How you know that?”
“Don’t yell at me, girl. I asked him about Ursula, and he said he isn’t sick, he just didn’t want to kiss her stupid ass.”
“Oh my God, so he has been intimate with her? I feel so dumb.”
“Don’t feel dumb. You know he was trying to push up on Ursula. As much as you don’t want to think about it, yeah, they’ve done things…but it was before this. Don’t let that bother you.”
“Why shouldn’t I?”
“Because he knows about Ferris, right? I mean, you can’t deny your own past.”
I nod. “That’s one of the reasons we kind of fell out, because Ferris has bad timing. He called and left this voice mail message that Seaphes never should have heard.”
“Like I said before, don’t even let that factor into things. We all have pasts; trust me when I tell you.”
Demetria brings me a glass filled with alcohol, but I shake my head. “I’m straight.”
“Now, why are you over here at dark-thirty?” she asks, glancing at her watch.
“Like I told you before, I was so upset I didn’t know what to do. I tried to get to sleep after we talked, but I couldn’t. I had to get out of the apartment.”
“Well, you’ll be alright, just give it some time. Calm down, and I’ll help you get through this.”
“What else can you tell me about him? Did he talk about me?”
“Girl.” She pouts and rolls her eyes. “I can’t get the man to stop talking about you. Veron this, Veron that.”
“Really? Don’t lie, Demetria.”
“I swear ’fore God you always come up in the conversations.”
“That’s amazing.”
“Yeah, but he seemed pretty pissed about the Ferris thing. I tried to calm him down some, but I don’t know, girl.”
“You were talking to him about my ex?”
“I know. I had to change the conversation, because it was too weird fucking.”
“What?”
“I mean too fucking weird. That I was the one telling him about Ferris. You know what I’m trying to say.” She laughs.
“Well, thanks for talking to him. I hope he’s not totally pissed at me. I want to see him again.”
“I’m sure you do. Hey, let me go back to bed, and by the morning I can come up with a good plan. Y’all need to take it to the next level.” She yawns again and raises both her hands toward the ceiling, stretching.
“Demetria, why is your bra lying on the floor?”
She shrugs casually. “Girl, you know how much I hate those things. I took it off.”
“In front of Seaphes?”
“I turned my back around and took it off and dropped it.” I stare at her. She continues, “What? He was in the bathroom when I did it.”
“Then why would you turn your back around?”
“What?” She laughs. “You so sleepy you aren’t even sounding logical. You ready to crash? I sure as hell am.” She staggers like a drunk toward her bedroom.
“You wanna spend the night with me?” she yells.
“No, I do not,” I say, following her into her room. She has pulled off her blouse and is now sitting i
n bed with her breasts exposed.
“Do you mind?” I ask.
“Girl, stop acting like a prude. You’ve seen the twins before.”
“Some of everybody has seen the twins,” I murmur under my breath.
“What you say?” She laughs.
I finally sit down. “How are you and Darren doing? And whatever happened to Thad?”
“I don’t feel like talking about them.”
“Why not?”
“Hello, don’t you see me sliding up under the covers?” she says, jumping in her bed. “I’m sleepy, Vee. Damn, catch a hint. Either chill out here with me or go home to your own bed.”
“Fine. But I have too much energy to just go straight to sleep.” I sit on the edge of her bed and remove my sneakers and socks.
Demetria says, “Will you be a sweetheart and turn off the lamp for me?”
“Sure,” I say and turn the knob on her bedside lamp. It feels like the room’s darkness has placed a wall between us. I get in bed, but she’s already breathing deep. When I’m sure she’s fallen asleep, I look for her BlackBerry. And when I look at the most recent numbers dialed and received, it’s weird that none of the calls include Darren. What’s even stranger is the call she placed to Seaphes before I talked to her tonight, even though she said she doesn’t have his phone number.
—23—
DEMETRIA
When I wake up the next morning, I roll over and glance at the clock: almost 10 a.m. I groan, go make my bladder gladder, then brush my teeth so that my mouth feels fresh and not so gummy.
I walk out into the living room to look out the bay window. “Good,” I say aloud when I don’t see Vee’s HHR.
Later I decide to text Darren Foster. I send him a message that says “Call me.” And thirty seconds later, the phone rings.
“Yo, baby, what’s happening? You want me to come over and fuck you?”
“Maybe later. I want to know why you left like you did last night. And why you pop over here without calling first? You know my situation.”
“Yeah, but I thought ole dude be outta town all the time. And I had your fine ass all on my mind, and it wouldn’t rest until I could see you again. That okay?”
“It’s cool you wanna see me, but you need to be calling a sista first. You never know,” I say, smiling over the fact that he wants to be with me so bad.
“I see that. Now who was that corny looking dude that swung by?”
“He’s just a coworker. We were working on something.”
“You better not be fucking him.”
“Man, you don’t tell me who I can or cannot fuck, what the hell is your problem?” I say, secretly happy that he’s so jealous. I kinda dig that he wants me all to himself. I love being valued.
“Damn, I was just messing with you.”
“Well, you oughta know better than to do that,” I say, gently fussing. “Darren, don’t mess up a good thing.”
“Now, you know I ain’t trying to do that.” He pauses. “Did I do alright on the cash tip last night?”
“What? Those two bills you slid to me before you left? I kinda think you did that just to show my coworker that you got me like that or something. But hey, whatever motivates you to tear me off with some is cool with me.”
“Was it alright?”
“It was alright, Darren baby. I appreciate the support.” Although I give him a hard time I really do love his efforts, love that he’s always thinking about pleasing me.
“Not that you need it.”
“A woman always needs money, don’t forget that. You never have to ask her, just hand it to her and she’ll suck your dick forever.”
“Well, why didn’t you suck mine?”
“Coworker and I needed to take care of some business. I was sorry you had to bounce, but hey, business is business.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”
“Awww, Darren baby, don’t be mad,” I coo sweetly. “Quiet as it’s kept I miss you already. When can we see each other again?”
“I don’t know; I’m busy.”
“Too busy to kick it with me?”
“Listen, I’ll make sure and see your fine ass sometime this weekend, okay?”
“Me and my putty tat will be waiting.”
I say more sweet words to him, and we finally hang up. I gotta give it to ole Darren. At least he’s trying. I kinda feel for him. He’s got problems with his home chick. Since I wasn’t gonna be exclusive, I guess he went on and got with whoever was next in line. Weird to say, but I think he deserves better than that woman. But as long as I can still get a significant piece of his loving and know that in his heart he really does treasure me, then who am I to say anything?
Now, with Darren taken care of, I text the same message to someone else. “Call me.”
He also calls me within seconds.
“Hey there,” Seaphes says, dullness saturating his voice.
“What’s up?” I sound three times more excited than him.
“Not much,” he says. He sounds bad.
“I called to talk to you about Veron,” I say.
He immediately sounds perkier. “Yeah? Why? Thought you said she was over it.”
“No, I talked to her again last night, and she was just mad. Ferris is old news, to tell you the truth.”
“Why’d you tell me he was her man?” Seaphes asks. He sounds mad.
“Listen, I said that so you’d quit hassling her, ’cause I thought that’s what she wanted. Don’t be upset, I was just trying to be a good friend to her. But she still likes you for whatever reason. But listen, you need to step up your game with her. She’s getting restless.”
“What do you mean?”
“You need to be more attentive and stop tripping, running out the door every time she says something you don’t like. She still thinks you’re prime beef, but you acting like three-week-old hamburger.”
“Awww, that hurts.”
“I’m just saying; take care of your business with my girl. You don’t want her to think that you like me, do you?”
“Why would I like you?”
Shit, I didn’t mean to get flirty. Got to keep straight here. “Uh, that’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout,” I say, frowning. “Keep focused on the right thing, even though you might be doing the wrong thing.”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
“Call her, go see her, something, okay? In like a few hours or so. Pretty please?”
“For you,” he teases, “I’ll do almost anything.”
“Almost?” I say, insulted.
And he hangs up.
I remind myself that I have to be careful not to confuse the people who are around me. But when you’re trying to be strong and not succumb to temptation, you’re always going to give out mixed signals.
Later, I meet Veron at an out-of-the-way, full-service hair salon located off Highway 288 near Pearland. She was going to get a relaxer, so I decided to get my nails and toes done and hang with her. The smell of water, shampoo, and conditioner saturates the entire business. She’s sitting at a booth, and I come sit down next to her.
“You doing better now?” I ask.
“A little.” She doesn’t give me eye contact.
“Don’t worry about anything.”
“That’s easy for you to say. Shhh,” she says as her stylist returns to the booth holding a jar full of relaxer.
“We’ll talk later,” I tell her and get up so I can go place my feet in a bucket of hot water. I sit in the comfortable chair and enjoy the seat massage that pokes and prods at my upper and lower back muscles as the water washes the grittiness off my skin. I’m thinking about Veron and what I can do to make her more like me…and whether I really want her to be.
By the time my nails are done, Veron is sitting under the dryer getting a wrap.
“You feeling alright?” I ask.
She smiles and nods.
“It’s about time. What’s happened?”
“Seaphes called and asked t
o take me out.”
“Good for you,” I tell her, trying to exhibit genuine happiness.
“I told him no.”
Confused, I ask, “What you do that for?”
“He asked to take me out tonight. I told him I don’t do last-minute dates.”
Inside I’m thinking, what’s that about? But I tell her, “Oh, smart move, you must be following the book’s advice. Make the man think you have other things going.”
“I wanted to say yes so bad. But I need this man to respect me.”
“You’re sounding like me.”
“I need to do more than sound like you.” She hesitates but then looks me squarely in my eyes. “I sense that you two are getting along better.”
I shrug. “He’s an ass, but I get along with him for your sake.”
“Well, whatever’s happening now, he’ll eventually like you. Guys do that all the time. I should be used to it by now, I guess.”
“Nooo, Vee. Nope. I think he’s more into you.”
“More into me? More than he’s into you?” She has a hurt sound in her voice.
“No, he does not like me. We fight a lot. More than you and him put together. Why would a guy want to deal with my attitude?”
“I dunno. Why do they?”
“I don’t know, Vee. Listen, I think you should just concentrate on doing what you need to do. You told him no, but did you give him an alternate date and time?”
“As a matter of fact, I did. I told him that all three of us can go out midweek.”
“What? Why the hell you do that? That’s weird.”
“I want to observe you more and see how you do things, so I can pick up on some of that,” she says, eyeing me closely.
“Girl, that was a wrong move if there ever was one. I will give you advice, but why do I wanna be there with you and your man during your date?”
“I thought it would be fun,” she says with a fake smile.
I ignore her attitude. “Look, Veron, you oughta go be with him. You don’t need me tagging along, me and him getting into a big argument and spoiling everything. Plus, what would you do with me if you decide you’re ready to give him some?”
