He looked at me as if I’d said something horribly offensive.
“What kind of question is that?” he spat out.
“I don’t know, it seemed logical,” I replied, refusing to respond to his reaction.
“That’s like me asking if you’ve ever wanted to try cocaine. I mean enough people seem to think its good stuff, so why not?”
“I suppose I see your point, but I don’t have a natural craving for cocaine like you do for blood.”
He sighed and looked out the window.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have sounded so harsh. No, you’re right. I can’t say I haven’t wondered, but I’ve seen too much of the damage it can do first hand to ever want to casually try it just to satisfy some intellectual curiosity I might harbor. We can’t be sure, but we think the taste of blood – it just being in the mouth, is most of what causes the animalistic behavior. We can take the same blood intravenously, but we don’t get the same desires they do. I mean we do to a certain extent, but we’re usually able to control them.”
“But not always?” I asked slowly.
“No.”
The waitress came by with our check. Daniel immediately slipped a few bills in the folder and handed it back to her, then she walked off to get his change.
“I guess I’m not a cheap date – compared to a female vampire that is,” I said waving at the empty dish in front of me.
“Well, now … I wouldn’t know about that. To be honest, I’ve never been on a date with a female vampire before so I have no real basis for comparison.”
“Really?”
I leaned back in my chair again, looking at him appraisingly as I crossed my arms in front of me.
“Well, that was a look. What was that about?” he asked jokingly.
“Nothing, I’m just trying to figure you out. You don’t seem to have dated much for a – person of your advanced age. I mean let’s face it, you’re kinda old.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he said, feigning offence.
“I’m just saying you’re like a hundred and five years older than I am. You’ve got to admit, that’s a little weird.”
Interrupting our moment, the waitress returned with his change. Pausing our conversation, we walked out of the restaurant and got into the elevator. As the door closed in front of us, he said “The age difference. This is what bothers you?” I could tell he was half serious so I tried to not give a flippant response.
“Well, maybe not the only thing, but when I think about it, it does seem like … I don’t know … like why would you be interested in me?”
“Age is just a number, Sara. The older you get, the more you realize that. Some people are more mature at fourteen than other people at forty. It’s the experiences you have in life and the way you face them that make you who you are, not a date on a calendar. Besides, when I look at you I see an old soul in a fragile human body, and I’m –” He stopped and smiled.
“You’re what?” I asked, curious to hear what he wasn’t saying.
He sort of chuckled to himself. “Well, I was going to say young at heart.” We both laughed as the elevator doors opened in the lobby.
As we walked up to the front door, he helped me on with my jacket and, with no particular destination in mind, we strolled into the darkened quad.
“The first time I saw you was in that building,” I said absentmindedly. He didn’t say anything so I continued. “The way you looked at me – ”
“I scared you, didn’t I … I’m sorry about that.”
“Why?”
“Like I said, I’ve run across a few pures in my time, but nothing could have prepared me for you.”
He paused, closing his eyes as if reliving the moment in his mind.
“The scent of you. It wafted down the hallway and just slapped me in the face. Hard. You just have no idea how you bring out the animal in me.” He stopped when he realized what he’d said. “Well, that must have sounded terrible.”
“Corny really, but I think I understand what you’re driving at.”
“I’d have a hard time spending this much time alone with any human, but you – it’s like living on nothing but cheap dollar a bottle wine your whole life. Then one day someone suddenly hands you a glass of the finest vintage in the world and tells you not to drink it.”
“I think I like that analogy a little better,” I smiled. “But I still don’t understand why you’re here with me now. Why put yourself through it?”
“Because I want to be. Because, as little sense as it makes, I think I’ve been waiting for you for a hundred and twenty four years.”
The utter sincerity in his eyes made me stop for a moment.
For me? What for?
Then we continued our stroll.
When we stopped at the edge of the deserted quad, he looked down into my eyes. All I could think was how much I wanted him to take me in his arms and kiss me. As I looked up, returning his intense gaze, I was hoping, expecting that he would. His eyes told me he desperately wanted to. Were mine saying the same thing to him? He reached up and gently cupped the side of my face with his hand. It wasn’t warm as I would have wished it to have been, but it felt solid and strong, and I ached for him to reach down and place his lips on mine.
But he didn’t.
Still staring down at me, he tilted his head to one side as if he’d made a decision, and letting his hand fall from my face, he reached down with it, and took my hand as he started along the path back towards Capen Hall.
We walked for a while in silence. He was holding my hand. I could feel it. I glanced down and saw it. Did he know he was the first man to ever hold my hand? When I looked back up, I caught him watching me. He smiled. Oh, how I wished I knew what he was thinking. Oh, how thankful I was that he had no idea what I was thinking.
Passing my dorm without stopping, we continued across the quad then towards the large lake on the far side of campus. Nestled up against a thickly forested section of town, a dimly lit walking trail circled the lake’s black edges. Without asking, he guided me in that direction and we started down its path.
We’d walked in silence for a few minutes when out of nowhere, I asked “Do you want to suck my blood right now? That’s not an offer by the way, just a question.”
He stopped short only to stare down at me. In the shadows I couldn’t read the subtleties of his expression. Had I said something horrible?
“What – ?” He started to say something, but suddenly stopped himself, obviously flabbergasted at my question.
“That’s like asking if I want to be a monster. The answer is no, I don’t want to be a monster. My whole life, I’ve never wanted to be human again more than I do right now.”
He was angry but trying hard not to let it show, leaving me to wonder if his anger was directed at me, or at the situation in general. Then in his eyes, I suddenly saw a new desperation.
“If I were a man I could take you in my arms.”
He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me flush against his body.
“And I could kiss you without worrying I might change my mind and tear out your throat instead.”
I stared up at him, shocked by his behavior, by his words, but not frightened. As he looked down at me with such pain in his eyes, all I could do was bury my head in his chest without saying a word.
“Look what I’ve done,” he murmured, smoothing out my hair. “I’m sorry”.
“I think I understand” I said to his shirt. “Well, at least I understand as much as I think is possible under the circumstances.” I put my ear to his chest and listened, but as hard as I tried, I couldn’t hear a heartbeat.
Suddenly, I pushed away from him.
“I’m sorry,” I quickly apologized when I realized I was probably dangerously dangling the carrot. “I probably shouldn’t do that.”
“No, don’t apologize. It’s not your fault.” He reached out and gently pulled me back into his arms.
“I’m working on it,�
�� he quietly said over my head. “I can do this.”
Even I could tell he was trying to convince himself of it more than me.
A few moments later we started walking again. As we slowly progressed, I watched as a breeze blew across the top of the lake creating ripples in its silvery black surface. Beside me, I could hear Daniel walking. He was quiet now, his mind lost in thought. I wanted to reach over and take his hand again, to feel his presence physically, but something about this need deeply concerned me. I’d only known him for a short time. I shouldn’t feel such a strong need for him and that’s exactly what it was. I think I needed him like I needed the most basic of human necessities.
When we got to the farthest point on the path he stopped, and looking off into the darkened woods, cocked his head to the side.
“What is it?” I asked in a whisper.
Was something out there? Someone? I took another step closer to him.
At first his face appeared worried, then he frowned and finally I watched it fade into a goofy smile.
“Oh, you’re going to want to check this out,” he said taking my hand and quietly leading me into the woods. We’d walked for a few minutes when I started to hear it too. Voices, female voices. One was saying something loudly then there was a murmuring of other voices. When we approached the edge of a clearing, we stopped in the dark shadows of a large stand of oak trees.
In the center of the clearing were about twenty five girls standing in a tight circle. Most were dressed in black with six or seven others standing in the middle of the circle all in white. One girl in black was yelling at the ones in white.
“I think you’re roommates in trouble,” he smiled.
“Darcy?” I looked again, but couldn’t make her face out in the shadows.
“She’s one of the ones in white. Well, the one getting yelled at to be specific.” He was trying hard not to laugh.
“What is all this?” I asked.
“The sororities and fraternities are in these woods all the time when they have pledges. Only place they can go on campus and not get spotted by security.”
“And she was trying to talk me into this,” I muttered sarcastically.
“Cut them some slack. Most of them don’t take it too seriously. Believe me; far worse things go on around here than this bunch.” Reaching over, he took my hand and we started back towards the trail.
There was just something about the way he held my hand that seemed to make me tingle all over. I’d felt it before. Actually I’d felt it every time our skin had touched. Even now, I could feel it sparking around inside me. I didn’t understand what it was to put a name on it, but whatever it was, it was wonderful, exciting, scary and a hundred other feelings I didn’t have words for. I looked up at his face as he walked beside me. Did he feel it too? Were vampires even capable of experiencing what I was feeling?
Eventually we walked back to Capen Hall and stopped at the base of the cement steps leading up to the back door. He’d been holding my hand again for a while now and when we got there, he didn’t let go. When I looked up at him and realized our evening was drawing to a close, something in my chest tightened.
“So, I guess a goodnight kiss is not in order.”
Oh God! Did I just say that?
“No. I’m afraid not,” he smiled, surprised and amused by my comment. “Besides, it wouldn’t be right anyway.”
“Why?”
“In my day, I would be taking a trip to Long Island to meet your father first, to introduce myself and state my intentions.”
“Yes, I can see where that might be a problem. I have to say I’m not sure how he’d react to all this. Not well would be my guess.”
He didn’t laugh, but looked down at my hand in his. Deep in thought, he looked up a moment later to pin me with his clear, sky blue eyes.
“I know it must sound strange to you, but the way I feel about you … I’m not even sure how far this can really go – but as long as it exists, I want to treat you the way I would have treated a woman I had intentions for before I became … well, what I am now.”
With something of a sigh, he took the keys from my hand and we walked up the stairs to the door. Without a word, he unlocked the door and held it open for me, and as I took a step in, he handed me the keys back. When I reached out to take them from him, he captured my hand in his, causing me to look up and meet his intense gaze.
“Be careful,” he said.
“About what?”
“There’s something I haven’t told you.”
He paused as if searching for the right words. Something was wrong. I could tell by the tension behind his eyes.
“Some of my kind are more dangerous than others. We call them blood hunters. There aren’t many of them, only a handful, but their sole purpose is to seek out people like you, pures. Once they locate one, they stalk them until the time is right, and then –”
“Then?”
“They attack. They’re killers, vicious murderers. They fast as much as possible and in between kills will survive on the blood of animals, saving themselves for that moment when they can savor the blood of a pure. One’s been here on campus recently, so please don’t wander off into the woods alone. Try to stay in crowds, around as many people as possible. I don’t know if he’ll be back, but if anything ever happened to you, I’d …” Unable to finish verbalizing his thought, his voice trailed off.
“Alright,” was all I could say. Yes, he was worried. Should I be as well? I couldn’t think about that right now, not with him standing so close to me. “Will I see you tomorrow?”
“Ah, that’s right, no class tomorrow. Yes, you’ll see me.”
He smiled and squeezed my hand before finally letting it go. With great reluctance, I turned and went inside. As the door closed behind me, I stole a glance through the small window in the door to see Daniel jump off the top of the stairs down to the ground below, only to then disappear into the night.
When I dropped down on my bed, my head was spinning. I had so much to think about. Daniel. My Daniel now. It hardly seemed possible. I knew I had messages waiting for me on my phone. I’d felt it vibrate several times during the evening. My friends had been expecting me for dinner and I’m sure were wondering what had happened to me. Tabitha might have guessed correctly. What was I going to say to them? I couldn’t keep it a secret for long. Eventually, I was going to have to come up with something to tell them and soon.
I suppose I’d just tell them we were dating and hope they didn’t ask too many questions. Besides, I didn’t think Daniel would want to socialize with them anyway, especially if Ben were around. I wasn’t sure what it was between the two of them, but for some strange reason they really seemed to have taken an instant dislike to one another.
Were we dating? It felt a little presumptuous to say so. We’d only been out on one date, two if you counted the festival. Well, three if you counted our hike. I wasn’t sure if that counted, but maybe it did since I’d spent the night. I rolled my eyes at myself. This really was absurd.
After getting ready for bed, I curled up under the covers and drifted off to sleep. I dreamed of blue eyes watching me and then of gray eyes. They were a penetrating gray that seemed to know mine so well, so intimately. And yet they seemed strangely familiar, like old friends.
As I was zipping up my backpack to leave for class the next morning, there was a knock at my door. The first thought that ran unbidden through my mind was – Please, let it be him!
“Since you don’t seem to answer your phone anymore, I thought I’d pop over to make sure you’re still alive,” Tabitha greeted me with. I forced a smile on my lips to cover my disappointment.
“Sorry about that, I guess I forgot,” I lied as I picked up my backpack and we headed down the hallway together.
“Look I don’t want to pry, but – Oh heck, I’ll admit it, I want to pry. What was that yesterday with you and Daniel?”
I couldn’t believe it took her that long to ask. Part of m
e wanted to shout from the rooftops that I was happy. Some small corner of my soul that had been dark was now in light, but I wasn’t sure how reciprocated that light was, or was capable of being. Its mirror wasn’t human after all.
“Well, I’m not exactly sure, but – I think we may be sort of friends now. I don’t know, maybe more than friends?” I said as if it had just occurred to me.
“More?” she almost whispered. I looked over to see surprise and maybe hope in her eyes, but it quickly seemed to fade, tempered by concern I think.
I was walking down the hall towards the stairs and stopped. Tabitha wasn’t next to me anymore and I turned to see her standing about ten feet behind me motionless. She was staring at me open mouthed.
“Yeah, I know. I’m kind of having the same reaction to it myself,” I said as she recovered herself and started to catch up to me.
“Exactly when did this happen?”
“I’m not really sure, it happened so fast. Seems like one thing led to another and then I’m up at his house, and then we’re going to the festival together, and then we went out to dinner last night and he wants to see me again today.”
I thought this sounded like a good abbreviation of the truth. No need to fill in all the sordid details if she didn’t ask. There it was again, that stunned look behind her eyes. I think that’s how I felt; I was just too confused inside to show it outwardly.
“I’m just – surprised. I never had a clue. I have to admit that I kinda wondered if he was gay myself. I mean a guy that good looking, who dresses that well and brushes off all the good looking girls on campus. Come on, who wouldn’t wonder?”
“Well, I’m pretty sure he’s not,” I said with a smile. Gay? No. – Vampire? Yes.
Inwardly, I rolled my eyes at myself.
“Wow,” was all she could say in response. And well, that pretty much summed it up for me as well.
We walked down the stairs, out the front door and started cross campus in silence. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her mulling all this new information over under that sleek black bob of hair.
The Purity of Blood: Volume I Page 20
