by Marsh, Susan
For once Casey was lost for words.
Raffa turned to her. ‘You’re not disappointed?’
She looked at him as he brought the prancing stallion to a restless halt.
‘Disappointed? How could I be?’ They were at the foot of a sheer cliff, where an icy stream, its source hidden somewhere far above them, tumbled in a series of frothing waterfalls to a moonlit pool. This had to be one of the lesser known wonders of the world.
Springing down from the saddle, Raffa reached up to help her dismount. ‘You’ll find the water surprisingly warm—though I should warn you the torrent coming down from the peaks is freezing cold.’
‘But the pool is heated by the sun?’
‘The relentless desert sun,’ Raffa agreed, holding her just above the ground so their faces were disturbingly level.
‘You can put me down now … please?’
His eyes beneath the concealing howlis glinted dangerously. ‘Or I could throw you in.’
‘Please … please don’t.’ With humour … His eyes were glinting with humour, Casey saw with relief. ‘So you’ve brought me to another spa?’
‘Nature’s spa,’ Raffa agreed.
She could have happily stayed in his arms for ever, but the horse was stamping impatiently and so she stepped away, while Raffa slipped the reins over his stallion’s head. Unfastening the girth, he removed the saddle. She took it from him and rested it carefully against the stubbly trunk of a palm tree while Raffa led the stallion round to let him cool down. When it was safe for him to drink, Raffa removed the bridle too and set him loose.
Casey’s heart ached with longing. She wanted so much more than Raffa was prepared to give. She watched him stroke the stallion’s quivering flanks, knowing what she would do for that same soothing touch. Raffa was so good at everything—he had even made her forget her own lack of skill on horseback, to the point where she’d almost believed she could ride.
Ride? She could fly with Raffa’s arms around her.
But she mustn’t make too much out of this expedition. If anything had been going to happen between them it would have happened at the oasis. This was just an opportunity for Raffa to share the treasures of his country with her; treasures she would be expected to market to the world if she got the job …
‘Come on,’ he said, stretching out his hand to her.
‘Come where?’ She hung back, suddenly feeling shy and uncertain now the horse was happily drinking and Raffa’s attention was all on her.
‘I want you to see something. You have a little climb ahead of you.’
‘A little climb?’ Casey glanced anxiously at the sheer rock wall in front of her.
‘I can carry you, if you like.’
Hearing the amusement in his voice, she assured him, ‘I’m quite capable of standing on my own two feet, thank you.’
‘There is a path, but it isn’t the one you’re taking,’ he said, catching up with her in a couple of strides.
‘Oh …’ She stared about.
‘It’s not obvious unless you know where to look.’
‘And you, of course, know where to look?’
‘I like to think so …’ Raffa’s dangerous black gaze held hers.
‘Then you’d better show me where to go.’
But he didn’t move.
She took a deep steadying breath. It wasn’t easy, containing all the emotion inside her, and as Raffa continued to stare down at her she felt as if this was a pivotal moment in her emotional journey—in her life. Raffa had given her the confidence to admit she wanted him, but did Raffa want her?
A breeze ruffled the scrub around them, but when she whispered his name he remained silent. ‘Raffa, please,’ she repeated, ‘can I ask you something?’
He knew the moment had arrived. Casey’s fantasy world had finally collided with the real world, and he wasn’t in the least surprised when all her pent-up frustrations poured out.
‘Raffa, what would you say if I asked you to make love to me?’
‘I would tell you that you’re a virgin and that you should be very sure.’ He could see Casey thinking. Was the fact that she was a virgin branded on her forehead?
‘How can you tell?’
‘Years of experience?’ he suggested with a faint smile.
‘Please don’t tease me, Raffa—not now.’
He started to unwind his howlis. This was what he’d wanted since he had first set eyes on Casey, but was reality the last thing on her mind? He had enjoyed watching Casey grow in confidence, to the point where she trusted him even when she was naked, but was he just her fantasy? He decided to postpone his verdict for now.
‘Shall I lead the way?’ he suggested, glancing up the path.
She nodded her head, desperately trying to hide her disappointment.
Casey had a lot to learn—not least was that anticipation increased the pleasure of the final outcome. She had made him think that was no longer in doubt now.
They were halfway up the first slope when they turned a corner and a natural platform in the rock was revealed. Broad and sheltered from the elements, as well as from the waterfall that fell by the side of it, it had been worn smooth by the pressure of many feet over the years.
‘I thought we’d set up camp here.’
‘For the night?’ Casey couldn’t help sounding worried.
‘You’re hungry, aren’t you?’
‘Hungry? Yes.’ Now she couldn’t help sounding relieved. She had just one more concern. ‘Where’s the bathroom?’
‘Choose your bush. And your warm bath’s down the slope, with a nice icy shower to follow.’
‘I think I’ll start by making a fire.’
‘You?’ Raffa was on his way down the slope to collect some more things and he stopped.
‘Why not me?’ She might be useless at the game of love, but she could start a fire, and she pulled a firestone out of her pocket to prove it.
Raffa laughed—a flash of strong white teeth to relieve the tension she was almost as good at building as a fire. ‘I had forgotten your firestone,’ he admitted.
She watched him all the way down as far as she could. Raffa moved with the agility of a mountain lion—the same lion that was the symbol of dauntless courage, bravery and valour. When he was out of sight she cupped her hands to nurture the tiny flame she’d managed to kindle from the available tinder. She was usually better than this at setting a fire, but while her mind was on the job in hand her heart was still with Raffa.
This was a complete and utter indulgence. He couldn’t remember how long it had been since he had taken a break like this in his favourite part of the desert. Years ago, when he’d been on breaks from the army, he had come here all the time, and it refreshed him and made sense of things …
Made sense of things except for Casey, he amended; the desert had failed him where she was concerned. He stared back up the cliff face, to where a plume of smoke signified success. He smiled. She was never short of a surprise, and he enjoyed her company, but life was never that simple. The only thing he could be sure of was that she’d got the job. The details might be a little hazy right now, but Casey wouldn’t be leaving A’Qaban any time soon.
He returned with rugs, food and drink and other supplies, to find Casey on her hands and knees, blowing determinedly at the one branch that had refused to light. ‘Are you sure you don’t need any help there?’ He came to hunker down beside her, resisting the temptation to touch her.
‘Well, now you come to mention it.’ She turned to look at him. ‘I could use some help with my hand.’
‘Your hand?’
‘Yes. It seems to be shaking …’
They came together like a force of nature. It was impossible to know who moved first. Her nipples rose, her breath quickened, and she was instantly and completely aroused as Raffa claimed her mouth with a fierce and possessive hunger.
The tension between them could never have held. The instant Raffa’s hand covered Casey’s she gladly thre
w away every semblance of self-control. But there was more. Pleasure hit so fast she gave a wail of astonishment as she tumbled headlong into a violent climax. Raffa held her safe in his arms as she moaned, ‘Oh, no. Oh, no …’ But the pleasure waves just kept on coming. He kissed her brow, her eyelids and her mouth, until finally she quietened into an embarrassed silence and pulled away from him.
Burying her head in her hands, she wished herself a million miles away.
‘Casey?’ Raffa murmured gently. Cupping her face in his hands, he stared into her eyes. ‘This isn’t right for you.’
‘Who decides that?’ she demanded in a small voice. ‘You?’
He remained silent. This was his fault. He had allowed things to move too fast. He had wanted to share this special place with Casey, but he had underestimated her feelings for him. He shouldn’t have allowed his desire for her to show; she was too young, too innocent. ‘I should never have brought you here—’
‘Yes, you should,’ she argued passionately. ‘I should know the country I’m supposed to be selling to the world.’
‘Casey, Casey …’ Taking hold of her wrists, he drew her hands away from her face with the utmost care. ‘I think we both know this has gone far beyond an interview for a job, and however much I might want to, I can never give you all the things you deserve.’
‘I don’t want anything from you,’ she protested.
She never would want anything from him in the material sense, he knew that; but there were other things Casey deserved. ‘You’d want my time, wouldn’t you?’
The look in her eyes stabbed into his heart. ‘Well, I can’t give you time,’ he said cruelly, to save her before she got into this any deeper. ‘A’Qaban takes up all my time and you deserve better than that. If I make love to you things will change.’
‘Why must they change?’
Only innocence could prompt that question, but as he reached for her she turned away. ‘Casey, I’m already married—to duty and to my country.’
‘Who mentioned marriage?’ she flared, turning back to him.
He remained silent. He might not have known Casey for more than a few days, but he knew her well enough to understand something of her hopes and dreams. An affair was not what she wanted, and it would break her eventually. ‘Forgive me?’ he whispered.
‘Forgive you?’ She frowned in bewilderment.
‘Please …’ Taking her hands in his, he raised them to his lips. All his life he had been the hunter, but now his only thought was to protect Casey from further hurt.
‘One last kiss?’ she suggested hopefully.
He looked at the smile on her face. It might have worked if her eyes hadn’t been full of tears. ‘Come here …’ He put a sheltering arm around her. She was so warm and so vulnerable, and he could only imagine how humiliating she must be finding this.
He dipped his head with the intention of kissing her once more, chastely on the cheek. However painful that would be for both of them, he meant it to be a goodbye to that side of things.
And he thought he knew her?
She ripped his howlis from his head with surprising force, and, twining her fingers in his hair, she dragged him close.
‘What do you think you’re doing?’ he demanded in surprise.
‘I think you know,’ she said steadily.
He could pull away at any time, but he wanted to make her see sense first. ‘Casey, don’t be silly—’ But he would never hurt her and she held on.
One of his hands found its way to the hollow at the base of her spine, where she felt so fragile. A sullen wind chose that moment to whip their faces, and as concern overrode caution he drew her beneath his robe so she could share his warmth.
In that moment he was lost. The erotic world he had been resisting claimed him. The feel of Casey’s body against his, the thunder of her heart and the whisper of her breath—he was kissing her, and not at all chastely.
As he kissed her, he reached for her hand, lacing their fingers together. It was a promise from him to keep her safe. It was a promise she understood, and when she looked at him with trust in her eyes their positions were reversed, and he was hers to do with as she liked.
They kissed and caressed in front of the dwindling fire in a way he hadn’t done since adolescence, until—‘Have I made you cry?’ He frowned, tasting her tears.
‘I blame you,’ she said, laughing and crying softly at the same time.
‘Explain,’ he insisted. His lips were tugging with amusement as he brought her round to face him.
‘Don’t laugh at me, Raffa.’ She touched his lips and he was instantly serious. ‘No one has ever made me confront my fears before.’
‘And you’re still frightened?’
‘Yes,’ she admitted.
‘You have always thought lovemaking must be rough, painful and fast, with all the pleasure on the man’s side?’ he suggested.
She couldn’t believe she was talking about something like this with Raffa. This was something she hadn’t even been able to discuss with her own parents—and they were experts in the field.
‘You think a man must take absolute control and you are expected to lie beneath him and endure whatever happens as best you can?’
‘How do you know that?’ Then she smiled, remembering how Raffa had teased her. ‘Years of experience?’ she said, pretending disapproval, but then she laughed, and they both clung to that shred of humour.
‘Did you think I was going to throw you over my shoulder and carry you off to the desert as my captive virgin?’ Raffa suggested. Thumbing his jaw, he added thoughtfully, ‘That’s not a bad idea, actually …’
‘Raffa,’ she scolded, by now completely relaxed.
‘Maybe you would have preferred that?’ he said, holding her in a loose embrace in front of him. ‘And there’s still time,’ he warned, pretending to be fierce.
‘But I trust you,’ she said.
‘I should hope so.’
‘I still have hang-ups.’
‘Only because you don’t know the rules.’
‘What rules?’
‘Rule number one: no hang-ups allowed in the desert.’
If only it were that simple, Casey thought, hugging herself. She had just made a spectacle of herself in front of Raffa in the most acutely embarrassing way. He had talked her round and reassured her, but she was still aroused. She had never been so aroused. Her nipples were on fire and she was throbbing with need between her legs, where she felt swollen and moist. She had never wanted sex more and never been more certain that she wouldn’t know what to do if they made love—except that she would make a complete and utter hash of it.
‘Dreaming again. Or just worrying?’ Raffa prompted.
‘I’d be useless at it,’ she blurted out.
‘Useless at what?’
‘Sex.’
He made a low, confident masculine sound. ‘But I’m not …’ Touching her chin, he made her look at him.
‘This isn’t funny, Raffa.’
‘No, it isn’t,’ he agreed, turning serious. ‘You have parents who advise other people with sexual problems, and for some reason you seem to think you have all those same problems yourself.’
‘I know I have,’ she interrupted.
‘How do you know?’
‘I can get so far down the road and then I can’t go any further. I’ve read the books, so I know—’
‘You don’t know anything,’ he interrupted. ‘How can you know anything when you’re still a virgin? You’ve read too many books, Casey, and life has to be experienced outside of the covers of a book. Books are instructive and interesting—and surprising, sometimes—but they can never take the place of living in the moment and all that that entails: feeling, sharing, caring, cherishing, laughing, crying.’
‘Loving?’ She stared at him steadily until she read the answer in his eyes.
‘Loving in the moment? Yes, of course.’
That was Casey’s cue to move away from him. He k
new it was a lousy answer, but he had nothing to offer her long-term, and he wouldn’t pretend. Casey was special—very special. But she made him feel like the worst type of man as she hugged her knees, burying her face again. It was as if all the good that had been done over the past few days had been wasted.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘No—I’m sorry.’ She cut across him, lifting her head. There were no tears now, just an expression of resignation, which he found almost worse. ‘I shouldn’t have pressed you like this. I’ve got no right.’ She threw her hands up in mock despair. ‘I don’t know what I was thinking.’
Everything she was entitled to think—that he had brought her here to make love to her. It was a perfectly reasonable supposition. He just wished Casey didn’t believe her parents’ books held the answer to everything, or that fairytales could sometimes come true.
Picking up the howlis from his neck, he readjusted it until only his eyes were showing. ‘I’m not a very romantic Sheikh, am I?’
‘Oh, I don’t know …’ She stared with him into the vastness of the desert. ‘You brought me here.’
The wry tone in her voice was so much better to hear than Casey’s awkwardness and uncertainty. ‘Should I try harder?’ he suggested dryly.
‘You can try …’
‘Your eyes are like stars,’ he intoned solemnly. ‘Will that do?’
‘I suppose it will have to.’
She was still smiling when a cloud scudded across the moon, plunging them into darkness. Sensing her unease, he reached for her. ‘Don’t tell me you’re frightened of the dark as well?’ When the cloud rolled away she was staring up at him. As he met her gaze he wondered if this was the most intimate moment he had ever shared with anyone. And then she whispered, ‘Make love to me, Raffa …’
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
WITHIN moment Casey’s mind was wiped clear of why she shouldn’t, or mustn’t, and above all why she couldn’t. Every excuse her lack of self-confidence had ever thrown at her was effectively obliterated by Raffa’s overwhelming sensuality. She had never felt passion like this before and pressed close, her breasts aching for his touch.
