"Keep watching me, no one or anything else." She says, keeping eye contact. The noises from the bustling city come back into my ears, louder than it was before. She did it, she brought me back from the evil attempting to take over. I thought I had that side under control, but I don’t and that scares the hell out of me. There’s no telling what I’ll do when I lose control, I’m a danger to everyone around me.
"Thank you," I slam my lips onto hers, kissing her with such passion it takes my breath away. I pull apart from our kiss and keep my eyes locked on hers. We're moving again, she's walking backward, not breaking eye contact or letting me go. Her soft hands are under my hoodie, caressing my skin, my scars. A shudder runs through my body from her touch.
"We're almost there." She says, only talking to me. No one else. She knows what I need at this moment and that's her full attention. "Are you under control now?"
"Yes, thank you." I kiss her gently on the lips and she sighs into my mouth. "Please don't do that again. I could have hurt you and then I would’ve really lost it."
"No, you won't. He recognizes me, knows I'm not a threat. I'm not afraid, Nolan. I battle with the same thing every day. I wonder every day if the pain I’ve endured through my life is worth looking for the light or if I should succumb to the darkness. There are days where I think it’s not worth fighting. It’s easier to not give a shit. Then I look at my family and it makes me want to fight it, be a better person." Ashley rests her fingers on my jaw and rubs it gently. I sigh and close my eyes.
"Are we good now?" A deep voice asks from behind me. I snap my head towards the voice and Ashton backs up a little. I blink twice and take another deep breath, more in control now.
"Yes, we're good," I answer. Regret fills me thinking about killing him a moment ago.
"Don't say it," Ashton says. "No regrets. I knew what I was getting into and I know what you battle with. We all have our own demons trying to control us."
"Are you good?" Ashley asks, dragging my eyes back to her light ones. "I need to turn around and walk inside, but I can do it backward if you're not fully in control."
I close my eyes and tilt my head back. I search inside me, finding peace for the moment. I tilt my head back down finding light brown eyes, watching me.
"Yes. I'm in control. We're good."
She gives me another smile that lights up my world and turns around. She pulls my hands around her waist and locks our fingers together, so my front is against her back. We walk slowly into the building and towards the elevators. Marks and Ramirez are waiting for us next to the mailboxes. When they see us, they push off the wall and head in our direction. My heart thumps hard again from their approach and my hands tighten around Ashley, believing them a threat to her.
"Stay back," Ashton warns them. They both halt their movements and study me questioningly. "Now isn't a good time. Follow behind Redline, slowly."
They do what Ashton says and I relax a little. The elevator doors ding open and Ashley and I step in. We turn around together and Christian hands Ashley a key. A snarl leaves my lips from how close he is. Maybe I don't have total control yet. Christian throws his hands up in surrender, not making eye contact with me. Smart man.
"He's just giving me a key to our own place," Ashley scolds. She shows me the key and I relax a little. The elevator doors close, shutting us out from them. My lips dart across Ashley's neck and she shudders from my touch.
"That feels good," she says, tilting her neck to give me better access. My tongue snakes out licking the side of her neck, tasting her. Blood is thrumming through my veins full of want and desire to have this woman soon. She pushes her ass against my hardness and moves slightly up and down. A groan escapes my lips. My blood pressure rises, the higher we ascend. By the time the doors ding open, the sexual tension is so high, I don't know if I can move. Ashley keeps me against her and we walk down the hallway. She stops at a door and I'm too busy kissing and sucking on the side of her neck to pay attention to where we are. The need to be buried inside her is overtaking my other senses.
She finally has the door unlocked and we stumble inside. My hands are caressing her skin under her shirt. She releases a moan of approval at my assault that vibrates through my body. My dick is painfully hard, needing release. I slam the door shut with my foot and my mouth is upon hers, taking her breath away. Picking her up, she wraps her legs around my waist, rubbing herself over my hardness.
"Fuck, I need you," I groan.
Ashley pulls back a little and I stare into her eyes filled with lust, love, and need. The demon is battling to break free and mark her as ours. Her back hits the wall, and I pin her against it with my hips. I rip her shirt over her head and toss it somewhere behind me. I remove her bra and her full breast spill free of the confinements. I bury my face in her chest, sucking one hard nipple into my mouth. Ashley lets out a moan, and it vibrates straight into my body. I can't wait any longer. I've had enough foreplay for now. Tugging her away from the wall, she still has her legs locked around my waist, and I blindly walk down a small hallway and into a bedroom. Ashley's full lips are sucking on the side of my neck, trusting me to take her away from all the pain and worry, even if it's short-lived.
I enter the bedroom and toss her down onto the queen size bed. She bounces for a moment before righting herself. I rip my shirt over my head and crawl my way to her, stalking my prey. My blood is pumping hard through my veins as my lips descend upon her half-naked body. I kiss my way from her full breasts, down her flat stomach, to the top of her jeans. Ashley's hands are in my hair, tugging it from the roots, creating a pleasuring pain as I pop the button open and slide the zipper down. I yank her jeans and panties down her golden kissed legs and toss them behind me. I lick and nibble a path up each leg, bringing my face to her shaved pussy, glistening, ready for me.
"Nolan," she groans and pulls my head towards her wet heat.
I descend into her shiny pink lips and suck her clit. Ashley lets out a low moan and her flavor explodes on my tongue as I assault her opening. Her body's withering under my touch. She opens her legs wider, letting me in. I hum my approval as my teeth graze her bundle of nerves.
"Quit teasing me," she says passionately.
I rub my fingers up and down her opening, coating them with her juices. I plunge two fingers inside her and she lets out a moan of approval. Working them in and out of her wet heat, curling them inside her, it's not long before she finds her release. I keep licking and sucking her clit, faster and quicker as my fingers plunge in and out at a rapid pace, her hips moving up and down with my rhythm. Her walls tighten around my digits and she falls over the edge, my name ripping from her throat. Once she stops moving her hips, I pull my fingers out and lick them clean.
I remove my jeans and boxers quickly while Ashley catches her breath. She watches me crawl my way up her satiated body, licking and biting as I go. My cock is painfully hard as I settle between her hips. She grabs my face and looks me directly in the eyes.
"Nolan, I love everything about you. All your scars, all you battle with, your past, your present and your future. There's nothing that will take you away from me and I will fight for you every day. Don't lose focus of that. I'm here and I always will be."
"I love you too, Ashley. Thank you for being in my life and helping me battle with my past. I don't know where I'd be right now if you didn't pull me back. I do know where I want to be though," I wiggle my eyebrows up and down and press against her warm heat. She lets out a half giggle, half moan.
"What the hell are you waiting for?" she groans.
"I'm going to take you hard and fast. It's been building for a while and he's ready to explode."
Ashley presses her lips hard against mine and opens her mouth to allow me access. She's tasting herself upon my tongue and my blood pumps furiously in my veins, my heart is beating hard against my chest. She trails a hand down my body until her fingers grip my painfully hard cock. I close my eyes, trying to control my urges as she pumps her soft hand u
p and down my shaft. My hips move to the rhythm of her hand and I'm on the edge of losing it, to succumb to the evil lurking inside me. I rip her hand off my cock and bring it up above her head locking our fingers together. I stare into Ashley's eyes and try to control myself.
"With as pleasurable as that was, now's not the time to test my control. I've been wanting you since I left L.A., and today's events have brought the demon to the surface. I can't control the rage battling inside of me and if you keep teasing me, I'll end up hurting you. Pain does not equal pleasure in my world and I don't want any of my past to touch you. I want you to feel loved and cherished, not used and abused, so please let me do this my way so I can control myself better."
"I'm all yours, ready and willing. If you need hard and fast or slow and gentle. I get it, I really do. I'm not holding anything back. My love for you is stronger than anything thrown at us, so when you're ready, so am I." Ashley brings her lips up to my ear and nibbles on the outer edge, sending a shiver down my spine. "Whatever you need, Nolan, I'm here and ready."
With those words, I plunge into her wet heat. It satiates the rage battling inside of me for the moment as I thrust deep inside her body. Moans of pleasure rip from our throats as my hips thrust fast and hard. Ashley moves her hips in time with mine. We're skin to skin, my heart is beating hard against my chest while Ashley's tight pussy grips my hard cock and sends my senses into overdrive. Thrusting harder and faster, I sit up to watch our bodies connect. Ashley slender form shudders under my hands. I watch as my cock slips in and out, coated with her juices. The smell of sex and sweat is heavy in the air around us. I lift her legs up onto my shoulders and grip her hips tight as I drive into her. At this angle, her pussy grips my cock tighter and fire burns down my spine. I'm close to my release. Ashley grips her breasts in her hands and moans. My eyes snap up and I almost lose it watching her pleasure herself. Trailing my thumb across her hip, I circle it on her clit. She moans louder under my touch and her wet heat contracts around my cock, sucking me further into her body.
Unable to control myself any longer, I let go. I let go of the pain and the past haunting me. I let go of everything trying to bring me down. I'm here in this moment with this beautiful woman who's touched my heart, my mind, and my soul. Who's accepted me for who I am, not what she wants me to be. With her by my side, I can do anything, be anything.
"Fuck, I'm coming," I grunt.
"So am I, harder, Nolan." Ashley pleads, breathlessly.
I pick up the pace and slam into her repeatedly. A moan rips from Ashley's lips as she tightens around me, matching me thrust for thrust. Fire burns down my spine and into my balls. Black spots cloud my vision of the beauty under me, succumbing to the pleasure I'm giving her. She grips me even harder and we both dive off the edge with groans filling the room, our breathing is rapid, and my heart is hammering in my chest as I fill her with my come.
I let go of her legs and they fall around me. I keep myself buried inside her, rolling my hips slowly and lean down, kissing her with such passion, I don't remember my own name. Her fingernails dig into my back as she squeeze's my shaft one last time. Aftershocks wrack our bodies when I pull my lips from her and bury my face in her hair.
"It gets better every time we're together," Ashley's breathless voice mumbles against my shoulder.
I pick my head up and stare into her honey-colored eyes, keeping myself buried in her heat. Her cheeks are flushed, sweat is on her brow and her chest is rising and falling in rapid succession.
"Yes, it does. No matter what happens, you'll always be my safe haven. The one I can turn to and trust with my whole being. That means a lot to me, Ash." I swallow hard and push her sweaty hair out of her face. She grips my face with her slender fingers.
"Me too, Nolan. I love being your safe haven." She replies. My stomach growls, breaking our little bubble. "I think someone's worked up and appetite." She giggles. I kiss her lips gently.
"I wonder how? It's not like I did anything strenuous, I think he did all the work." I wiggle my eyebrows at her and she burst out laughing. Her pussy contracts around my cock and I groan. "I want you again." I move my cock inside her and she shudders around me.
We make love one more time. This time it's slow and gentle and I bring us both to another mind-blowing orgasm. Touching each other on a higher level than ever before, I realize that without her, I'd be giving into the urges of bloodlust and revenge in a heartbeat. She completes every part of me and keeps me grounded.
Chapter 13
Christian
Watching someone who I've grown to care about and call family, fall apart before my eyes, is heartbreaking. I wish there was more I can do for Nolan, but this battle he must conquer on his own. All I can do is help him when he needs it. I'll help train Redline and get Xavier and Izzy back as quick as possible. Once our family is back together, then I can face my own issues. Although pressing for me to handle them now, these guys come first.
The elevator doors close with a silent whoosh and Ashton glances over in my direction, his similar eyes boring into mine. Ever since he’s come back from Iraq, our relationship’s been strained. We’re not as close as we used to be. There were times growing up we were inseparable, doing everything together, now we can’t be in the same room without tension brewing between us. I know he’s been through a lot overseas; I get that, but I miss having my brother, my best friend by my side.
“Come on, we have work to do,” Ashton grunts out.
He turns on his heels and walks away. I hurry my steps so we’re walking side by side. Redline, Marks, and Ramirez are behind us as we exit the apartment building. We turn left down the busy street, passing throngs of people going about their day, unaware of the torture and evil lurking around them.
Night has fallen onto this glorious city and dangerous people are coming out. We walk down an alley and Ashton stops when we’re away from the crowd. He turns toward Marks and Ramirez. We both cross our arms over our chests and raise a brow.
“That’s fucking creepy,” Redline shudders.
Ashton speaks first, “Marks tell me what you know.”
“Ramirez and I were able to get inside like I texted you. It’s bad, Ashton. I didn’t want to say anything in front of Nolan, seeing how quick he was to lose his head. Will he be all right?”
“Yes, he’ll figure out a way to control the urges and when he does, Switch better watch his back. He’ll be out for blood and will destroy anyone who stands in his way.” Ashton answers. He knows the most about Nolan and his mindset since they’ve worked together for years.
“He better get it under control and fast,” Ramirez responds. They share a look that pisses me off.
“Out with it,” I growl.
“Here, it’s better to show you,” Marks hands Ashton his phone.
Ashton hits play on the video Marks took. I lean over him and watch.
“Who the fuck is that?” I ask when the video stops.
“No fucking way,” Ashton grumbles. “I thought he was dead.”
“So did we,” Marks responds.
Redline hasn’t seen the video yet and waits impatiently, his fingers thrum against his jeans. “Can someone tell me what the fuck is going on?”
“We need to figure out a new game plan. You can’t go in anymore.” Ashton answers looking from the phone to Redline.
“What? Why not?”
Ashton hands him the phone and hits play on the video. When the guy they all thought dead fills the screen, Ashton hits pause.
“That’s why,” he explains.
Redline’s face pales and his hands shake, “When we received word through the street after they took Ashley, no one said anything about him not being there. I had no idea.”
“Who the fuck is it?” I ask again. I’m irritated from being left out.
“We need to get back to Nolan and Ashley. They have to know.” Ashton says, ignoring my question.
“Ashton,” I growl. His head whips in my direction. “Who. The. F
uck. Is. It?”
“I’ll explain in a little while. Right now we need to get back to Nolan. He holds the phone up waving it, “This right here changes everything. How are you at fighting?”
“I’m a cop, I can handle it.” I glare, crossing my arms. I’m really pissed he isn’t answering me.
“I don’t need you to be a cop right now,” he growls, annoyed. “I need you to be an unsympathetic, selfish fighter. Can you do that?”
“You of all people know I can. We might have drifted apart, but we grew up together. You know what I’m capable of.” I’m beyond pissed right now. My brother doesn’t have confidence in me.
“I know you’ve turned into a black and white guy. Not the guy I grew up with. I don’t even see him in you anymore. The one who used to cause trouble and not have a fucking care in the world that guy is long gone. You’ve turned into Mr. McGee or some shit,” Ashton paces back and forth in the dark alley. “Going into an underground fighting ring is different from anything you’ve done. You’ll be forced to do some shady shit, something you must learn to keep locked away when we’re done. There are things you’ll have to do to prove yourself to them and you won’t like who they’ll try to change you into, but you need to hang onto the good in your life.”
My mind wanders back to Mia. She’s the light in my world of darkness. Her smile and carefree attitude keeps me sane. Keeps the evil in my line of work in perspective.
“Can I see Mia before I need to go in?” I ask.
“Of course, you can but you can’t tell her anything. She’ll want to be here and The Plaza is the safest place for her to be.” Ashton answers.
I’m dumbfounded by his attitude. He doesn’t think I can handle whatever they throw at me. Well, I will prove him wrong. Prove I’m not the straight shooter he assumes I turned into.
Savage Chaos (Racing Dirty Series Book 3) Page 8
