So incredibly good.
Shade groaned as my nails drew blood, rearing back to slide his hands up and under my shirt. Then he cupped my breasts through my bra, fingers teasing the nipples. The intensity of feeling was almost more than I could take. My back arched and I moaned, ready to beg, when the door opened.
“Oh, shit! I had no idea. I’m so sorry!” someone said. Sara. It was Sara. She’d walked in on us, just like anyone could walk in on us because I was halfway to fucking a man I barely knew in a bar on my break.
Holy.
Fucking.
Shit.
Reality crashed down around my ears as I pulled away, mortified. Shade growled, catching me by the waist and jerking me back into his body.
“No.”
“Yes,” he said, eyes narrowed. “You want this. I want this. There’s no fucking reason on earth we should stop.”
“No,” I said again, daring him with my eyes. “You don’t get to decide. I get to decide and I am not doing this at work where anyone can walk in on us.”
Triumph flared in his expression, throwing me off guard. Then I realized what I’d said. Crap. “I meant we aren’t doing this at all. I don’t want a man in my life.”
He shoved a hand down my pants, sliding past my panties to dip a finger into the hot crevice between my legs. I gasped as he rubbed my clit, my back arching as he slid deeper. Then his hand was out again. Holding my gaze steadily, he lifted his fingers to his mouth and slowly licked one.
“Tastes good,” he whispered. “Tastes like you want me. I think you’re lying, princess. You want it and you want it bad.”
My entire body clenched because he was right. I wanted him real bad. So bad it hurt.
“Let me go,” I said, the words causing me physical pain. “You’re sexy. You know that. And maybe I do want it. But I can’t afford any more mistakes. I have responsibilities and a life that you’ll ruin if you touch it. I can’t take the risk.”
There was frustration written all over Shade’s face, but he took a step back, the tiny muscle in his jaw clenching as he fought for control. I pushed myself upright, straightening my shirt as I tried to catch my breath.
“I need to get back to work,” I gasped. “This is all a game for you—it’s about getting laid—but it’s my life. I have to take care of my family and you’re getting in the way of me doing that.”
“Bone won’t fire you for taking a longer break. Not if you’re with me. I’m the fucking president of the Reapers MC—nobody stands in my way.”
“You don’t get it,” I said, closing my eyes. I couldn’t look at him. Not like this. He was too sexy and I’d forget why I was fighting him. “It’s not about what I can get away with. It’s about who I am. I’m a good worker and I don’t slack off. And maybe I was stupid enough to let myself get distracted by Rebel, but that doesn’t mean this is my new reality. I’m getting my life on track again. Right now, I’ve got a job and I’m going to do it the best I can. This is nothing more than a game to you, anyway, so go find someone else to play it with.”
We stared at each other for long seconds. Then Shade turned and stalked out of the room. I flopped back down on the table, lifting my legs to lie on my side in a fetal position.
Fucking hell but I needed a new job.
Fast.
It took me nearly ten minutes to pull myself together and get back to work. By that time the Reapers were gone.
Thank you, sweet baby Jesus.
“You okay?” Sara asked as I grabbed my tray.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I told her, although I felt like I’d gotten hit by a truck. “Shade and I…”
“I know,” she said. “These guys… You can’t control them. They’re like a force of nature.”
“I never asked for this,” I insisted. “I didn’t mean to catch his eye and now I don’t know how to get rid of him.”
“Just keep going,” she said, watching Bone with pain-filled eyes. “He’ll get bored. They always do. All of the fucking men in this place do.”
I glanced toward Bone, who was leaning forward against the bar, flirting with yet another girl. One I hadn’t seen before.
“Why do you stay?” I asked her. Sara gave me a startled look.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s got to hurt, watching him like that.”
“Where am I supposed to go?” she admitted. “There’s no other jobs in this fucking town. Am I supposed to work for Handsy Randy, the friendly town drug dealer down at the gas station? I know you’re related, so no offense.”
“None taken,” I said with a sigh. “But you could leave. It’s not like you’re married or have kids or anything tying you down.”
“My grandma,” she replied quietly. “She raised me. Now I’m the only one she has left. Maybe someday when she’s gone… But for now, this is where I stay. This is my place. And maybe I do have a thing for Bone, but I’ve been there, done that.”
“Really?” I said, startled. “You’ve slept with Bone?”
“Hon, everyone has slept with Bone,” she replied, shrugging. “That’s the problem. And that’s why you can’t let yourself get hung up on Shade. If it was me, I’d just go for it. Have fun while you can and then walk away. It’s easier than fighting.”
I stared at her, stunned. Sara was always full of energy, always smiling, always ready for the next challenge. Or so I thought. In that instant, though…she looked tired. Tired and sad.
That’s why you can’t give in. Because he’ll leave you like that. Sad and alone.
“You girls gonna clear those tables and serve more drinks or what?” Bone shouted. I caught Sara’s hand, sharing a quick squeeze, then grabbed my tray to go clear the Reapers’ empties and wipe down their tables. That’s when I found the money, a stack of hundred dollar bills, just sitting out on the table like it was a perfectly normal and appropriate thing.
I grabbed the cash, counting it carefully, my heart starting to clench. Five hundred dollars.
Five.
Hundred.
Dollars.
The Reapers had been drinking all night, but this wasn’t some city bar. Drinks were cheap here at the Pit. Even factoring in all they’d ordered, there was no way this could be right. I stuffed the money in my apron pocket and then scurried over to Bone, feeling almost sick to my stomach. He was still chatting up his girl but I didn’t care—we needed to figure this out, and fast.
“How much was their tab?” I hissed at him. Bone raised a brow.
“Whose?”
“The Reapers!” I snapped, as if there could be any other answer.
“About two hundred,” he said. “But they already paid.”
I pulled the wad of cash out of my pocket.
“Shade left this on the table,” I told him. “What do I do with it?”
Bone shrugged. “Put it in your pocket. He left it for you.”
“I can’t keep a tip this big,” I insisted.
“Well, I suppose you could try giving it back,” Bone said. “But I got a feeling he wouldn’t take it. This is his game, Mandy. If you’re smart, you’ll make the most of it while you can.”
“I don’t want to play,” I insisted. “I don’t like this game. I don’t understand the rules.”
“Then you better leave town,” Bone replied, his voice serious. “Otherwise you got to play it out to the end. There’s no in between when it comes to the Reapers. You want to fight with him about it, be my guest, but I think you should take the fucking money. God knows you need it, so use it.”
He turned back to his girl, giving her a slow smile that left me with no doubt how his night would end. I glanced over to find Sara watching us. She gave me a shrug, and I realized Bone was right.
I needed the money, just like everyone else in this shithole of a town.
Goddamn but Violetta sucked, and so did the Reapers MC.
By the time I finished my shift, I was exhausted. Not just the normal tired that came from being on my feet
all evening, but from taking care of the girls and the fact that I’d been up the night before dealing with Rebel and Shade.
It was just too much stress in too short of a time.
Not only that, I felt the weight of the money sitting in my apron pocket the entire time. Men didn’t just give waitresses tips like that. It was too much—way too much. And the fact that it matched the amount he’d offered Rebel for sleeping with me…well, let’s just say the implication wasn’t comforting.
Back home, I tossed and turned on the couch for several hours, unable to sleep. By four in the morning I gave up, stepping out onto the porch to look up at the night sky. Summer was short in Idaho, which meant there weren’t many nights a girl could sit outside and look at the stars without freezing her ass off, but this was one of them. Everything was still and peaceful. For a few minutes, I pretended I was living in a world where bad things didn’t happen to innocent people.
Except they did.
I’d gone to jail because my ex-husband had robbed a liquor store while I sat waiting in the car outside like a moron. My sister was barely surviving on food stamps and Medicaid because her ex was a loser who couldn’t be bothered to support his kids. And I had five hundred dollars in my pocket that I couldn’t explain—five hundred dollars given to me by a man who’d almost certainly done worse things than my ex ever dreamed of doing.
Money that might implicate me in some crime I couldn’t even imagine. He hadn’t left me a tip—he’d left me a ticking time bomb.
I pulled out the cheap phone Shade had given me and powered it on, searching for his contact information. Then I sent him a text.
Me: Thanks for the tip but I cant keep it. I’ll put it in an envelope and leave it with Bone. You can pick it up the next time ur at the bar. I cant get involved with a man like you so take it back
I hesitated for an instant before hitting send, then stuffed the phone back in my pocket, resolved. Then I lay back down on the porch and studied the stars. They really were gorgeous. Bright and beautiful and glorious and free. I’d only spent three nights in jail, but it’d felt like three years. I’d missed the stars most of all, which had surprised me. I never considered myself much of a nature girl. I guess you don’t realize how much something matters to you until you lose it.
The phone buzzed in my pocket.
Shade: Keep the money.
Me: No I cant. You seem to think I’m not serious when I say I don’t want a man but I am. I want to work and earn my money and take care of my sister. You don’t know me and you don’t know all the reasons I feel this way but they’re real and that should be enough.
Shade: Then tell me.
Yeah, right. Like I’d be sharing my past with him. No fucking way I’d give him more leverage over me. I turned off the phone and looked back up at the stars, wondering if I’d ever truly be free.
Probably not.
Pisser.
Chapter Ten
Friday morning
“Can we take some ice cream with us?” asked Callie.
“No way,” I told her, rolling my eyes. “Ice cream will melt at the park.”
“Not if we bring a bag of ice cubes with it,” she insisted, looking determined. “Mommy loves ice cream.”
“I think the sandwiches will be enough,” I told her. “And Mommy is trying to eat healthy, remember?”
Callie sighed heavily, making it clear that I was the meanest auntie in the history of time. Maybe she was right. This suited me just fine, seeing as I was also the brokest and most confused auntie, too. I’d defiantly put the $500 in an envelope and left it with Bone, determined to ignore Shade the next time he came to the bar.
Except there hadn’t been a next time.
Here we were, two days later, and I hadn’t seen or heard from the sexy Reaper, which was exactly what I’d wanted, except it was also one hell of a blow to the ego.
There’s something broken in your brain, idiot. Obviously, he’s a lot less hung up on you than you thought. This is a good thing. It’s what you wanted. Now get over yourself.
Grabbing the plastic grocery bag carrying our lunch, I gathered up the girls and herded them out the door. At three years old, the twins were big enough to walk, but it made things a lot easier if we took the stroller, so that’s what we did. Violetta’s one small park was just over a mile away, located right in the center of town across from the grocery store. It was an interesting place—possibly one of the last parks in America with a merry-go-round (made of rusty metal, naturally) and wooden slides.
The girls and I had made a habit of meeting Hannah there for lunch when the weather was nice. Her break ran from twelve-thirty to one, which gave her just enough time to wolf down a sandwich and then push the girls on the swings for a while. By the time we made it back to the house, they’d be tired and ready for their naps, which was a win for everyone.
Hannah was already there when we arrived.
“Thanks, baby doll,” she told Callie, who handed her a peanut butter and jelly that’d somehow gotten smushed along the way, despite my best efforts.
“I made it with extra love,” Callie insisted. “And some Rice Krispies, so it’s crunchy. Can I go play now?”
“Sure,” Hannah said, and the little girl took off, followed by her sisters. I leaned back on my hands, watching as they attacked the monkey bars. “So, still no word from the sexy biker guy?”
“Nope,” I replied, refusing to look at her.
“And the money is still just sitting there at the bar?”
“Yup.”
“I realize that you’re being all noble and principled,” she said slowly. “But five hundred bucks would probably be enough to get the van up and running. We’re going to need it once the weather turns.”
“It’s going to take more than that to get that thing running again,” I muttered. “They said at least a thousand, with a miracle thrown in for good measure.”
Hannah reached down, twisting her finger in the grass thoughtfully. “I talked to Heath about it. His family has a farm shop and he’s a pretty decent mechanic. He thinks he could help us out if I had the money for parts.”
I turned to stare at her.
“Heath?” I asked, raising a brow. “I thought you and the good deputy were just friendly acquaintances.”
She shrugged, refusing to meet my eyes.
“You insisted,” I continued. “You swore to me that there was nothing going on between you guys. It was a pinkie swear.”
“I didn’t want to freak you out,” she admitted, blushing. “I know you aren’t a big fan of cops.”
“No, I’m not a big fan of jail,” I said. “And if you remember correctly, that’s exactly where I’m headed if someone decides I violated my probation. The last thing I need is some sheriff’s deputy watching everything I do. If we get the van running, I’ll run a light or something, and then he’ll arrest me and I’ll go to prison and be someone’s bitch. Someone named Rhonda or Kaleee with three E’s. I can see it now.”
“The probation’s just a formality and you know it,” she said, rolling her eyes. “You aren’t even being supervised. They gave you the minimum because you were as much a victim as anyone. They didn’t even have a problem with you moving here.”
“You’re not the one who went to jail.”
“You were there for three days, and the only reason it was that long was because you didn’t have bail money. Get over yourself.”
I glared at her.
“I can’t believe you’re falling for a cop.”
“I can’t believe you aren’t taking that five hundred bucks and fixing the van,” she snapped. I looked away, feeling pissy because she was probably right. We really did need to fix the Kia and Shade obviously wasn’t in a hurry to get his money back. He also wasn’t in a hurry to see me.
So much for “this isn’t over yet” and all that smoldering, sexy intensity of his.
This is about your ego. Snap out of it.
Stupid men.
“You’re a slut,” I told her glumly.
“Yeah, well, you’re just jealous,” she replied, sounding perky. “And he’s a nice guy. Exactly the kind of guy we never date.”
“That’s why we shouldn’t be dating at all,” I reminded her. “Mom was shit at it, I’m shit at it and so are you. You just wait and see—he’s going to strap you to the train tracks while a train is coming, then stroke his mustache and cackle. It’s our destiny as McBride women.”
“He doesn’t have a mustache.”
A clump of grass hit me in the side of the head. I turned on her, grabbing my own clump to throw as she screamed. Callie and the little girls came running, jumping on their mom in excitement. She managed to send me a death glare and I knew I’d pay for making her look silly in front of her new boyfriend. Too fucking bad.
“Totally worth it,” I mouthed at her, then I looked up at Heath Andrews and smiled.
“My sister’s crazy,” I told him. “You should run away while you still can.”
The twins were sound asleep in the stroller by the time we got home, exhausted from playing with Callie, Hannah and Heath. My sister and her deputy looked so adorable together that I could’ve barfed. Even worse was the way he watched her—the man was crazy about Hannah.
Obviously, he was a secret serial killer.
Only possible explanation.
The sidewalk disappeared once I passed the railroad tracks, which made pushing the stroller a hell of a lot harder. Nothing quite like tiny plastic wheels on gravel for a smooth ride. That’s probably why I didn’t notice the old pickup truck parked next to the trailer until we were nearly on top of it.
“Daddy’s here!” Callie shouted, her little voice full of joy. I felt sick to my stomach because I remembered those days from my own childhood. My father had been in and out of our lives until I was about six. Then he was out for good and I never saw him again. It took another few years before I realized he wasn’t coming back, and even longer before I understood it wasn’t my fault.
1001 Dark Nights: Bundle Fourteen Page 46
