Things with Jonah have escalated physically, but not to the level I’d hoped. It seems like every time I’m about to beg him to make love to me, he freezes up. He’s nothing like his reputation, at least, not with me. I tell myself it’s because I mean more to him, but a small voice in my head tells me it’s because I’m a virgin. An even smaller, but no less influential, voice tells me that he’s not sure about us or more specifically, me.
I hold back a frustrated growl and move to a table covered in panties.
“You’re staying at his place again?” Eve pulls out a pair of blue leopard-print hip huggers and tosses them in my arms.
“Yeah. He wants me to stay with him every night.”
“You’re so lucky. The guy I’m dating won’t even invite me over.”
I look over to see her wiping her eyes with a pair of cotton bikini underwear and then tossing them back on the display table. We’ve been at Victoria Secret for almost an hour, and I’ve been so wrapped up with Jonah, I never even asked about her boyfriend.
“I’m a jerk. Sorry. Here I’m going on about Jonah, and I never asked about, um, what’s his name?”
She bursts into tears. I drag her back and lock us into a dressing room, dropping my arm full of stuff and pulling her into a hug.
“Eve, what is going on? Did you guys break up?”
“No.” She sniffs, and wipes her nose on a pair of panties I was going to buy. “I think he’s into me. I mean he tells me he’s in love with me every time we have sex.”
Envy creeps in at the thought that Eve’s getting sex and I love you. To be fair, I’ve known that I’m in love with Jonah since my first night in his bed, but haven’t told him. Could it be possible that he feels it too, but just hasn’t said it?
“So then, why are you crying?”
She looks up at me, and I can see the pain in her eyes. “He’s so secretive. I’ve asked him if he’s married or, like, I don’t know, a member of the Secret Service, but he just laughs and swears it’s just because he’s skittish about relationships.” She straightens her shirt and checks her make up in the mirror.
“I’m sure he’s not married. Hasn’t he gone into your restaurant on the nights you’re working? Surely he wouldn’t show up at the restaurant his girlfriend manages if he wanted to keep the relationship a secret.”
Her eyes drop to the floor. “He only came in the one time. Now we just hang out at my house.”
That doesn’t sound good.
“I wouldn’t think the worst yet. Give him some time. If things don’t get better in the next few weeks, break it off.”
She nods and takes a shaky breath. “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry.” She manages a sad smile. “You want to try any of this on? Might as well since we’re in here.”
I study the pile of lace and satin at my feet. Maybe one of those will be the pair to finally break Jonah’s iron restraint. “I’ll just get them all.”
~*~
Jonah
I’m pulling swordfish out of the fridge to throw on the grill for dinner. Raven says she can’t eat anything that isn’t microwavable at her place. Since she’s been staying with me, I cook almost every night. With my strict training diet, eating out is next to impossible.
Raven’s recent text said she was on her way, and I want to get dinner going so she can eat when she gets here. I shake my head, contemplating what in the hell has gotten into me. I told myself I’d had enough of taking care of people when I moved out of my mom’s house. Nothing will shove you into a lifestyle of partying and irresponsibility like becoming a man at twelve. When I moved out at eighteen and came to Vegas, I was like a big kid in an adult candy store.
The sound of my phone bumps me from my thoughts. I check the caller ID.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Hey, Joey, how are you?”
Rolling my eyes at her nickname for me, I wonder why she didn’t just name me Joey. “I’m really good. How about you?”
“I’m great. Just got back from spending time with Beth and the boys. They’re getting so big.”
I rub my forehead, reminding myself to call my little sister Beth. She lives in Phoenix with her husband Rick and twin boys. Things have been so hectic I haven’t stayed in touch.
“Yeah, I need to make a trip out for a visit. I’ll do that after the fight.”
“Oh, that would be great. She’d love to see you. What have you been up to lately?”
“Just training, getting ready for the fight. I’ve been working on the Impala I bought last year. I found a great mechanic who’s been coming over every day helping me take it apart, clean it up.”
I feel guilty keeping Raven a secret from my mom. She’s not some dirty indulgence or a passing good time. Even though I’ve never talked to my mom about the recreational girls in my past, with Raven, things are different.
“Mom, I want to tell you I met someone. It’s the mechanic who’s helping me with my car. Things are getting serious between us, and I thought you should know.”
Silence.
“Mom?”
I check to make sure our call didn’t get dropped. Nope, still connected.
“Mom, you still there?”
She clears her throat. “Yes, Joey, I’m here.”
Why is she acting so weird? I know I’ve never had a serious girlfriend before, but I thought she would be off the wall about my finally settling down.
“What’s wrong? I thought you’d be excited about my being in a serious relationship.”
“Oh, honey, I’m very happy for you. It’s just . . . I guess I thought . . . Well, it’s just a shock, that’s all. I always thought you liked girls.”
My eyes bug out of my head and I choke. I cough to clear my voice. “What? Of course, I like girls. Wait, Mom, Raven is a girl! Shit, you thought I was telling you I was dating a guy? Fuck me.”
“First of all, Joey, you watch your mouth. Second, what was I supposed to think? You told me you were dating your mechanic!”
I laugh so hard that it brings tears to my eyes.
“No. Raven is very much female.” My laughter calms. “You’ll meet her when you come out for the fight. She’s been staying with me, so I guess that will give you guys a chance to get to know each other.”
“Oh, honey, that would be wonderful. I can’t wait.”
“Shit, Ma! You thought I was gay! Fuckin’ hell.”
“Jonah Ryan Slade, you watch that mouth!”
After giving her the details I’ve arranged for her flight, I finish up with my mom and go back to preparing dinner. While pulling out some vegetables to grill, I hear the front door open.
“Baby! I’m in here,” I yell from the kitchen.
The soft beat of her Converse against the tile floor has me smiling. Her chest presses into my back as her arms wrap around my waist.
“Hey,” she says softly into my back, and bringing on an even bigger smile.
I turn around and wrap my arms around her, placing a wet kiss against my spot over the tattoo on her neck. The pear scent of her hair, combined with the sweet taste of her skin, is a heady mixture. I trail kisses along her jaw then pull at her lips with mine. After a little coaxing, she tilts her head, always eager, but making me work for it. Perfect. My tongue explores, gliding against the roof of her mouth and her teeth. Sucking on her lips, I slowly pull back. We lock eyes, panting and hungry, giving our blood a chance to cool.
She looks past my arm at the fish. “Mmm, is that swordfish?” Her voice carries a different kind of hunger.
“Yeah, you ready to eat?”
“Mm-hmm.”
I grab an iced tea for her, and we head out to light the grill. We settle ourselves at the bar. It’s getting warmer, but the outdoor misting system and ceiling fans make the temperature perfect for eating outside.
“How was shopping?” I grab myself a Muscle Milk from the outdoor cooler.
“Good. How was your day?”
I pop the top off my drink, take a swing, and lean a hip on
the bar. “Infinitely better if those bags I heard you drop at the door are pink.”
“How did you know?” She sips her tea that I’ve sweetened and added lemon to, just like she likes it. “Mmm.” She takes another sip.
“Babe, if you keep this up, you’re going to have to take on a sponsor. And I’d like to be the first to volunteer.”
“I only buy the stuff that’s on sale.” She sets down her drink and traces patterns into the condensation on the glass. “I know I don’t make much now, but I will. I have a plan.”
Why am I not surprised? I take a few steps to the barstool next to her and drop down. “What’s your plan?”
She shrugs and drops her eyes to her lap. Her delicate hands knot together, something I notice she does before she opens up about something personal, so I wait patiently.
“Guy said when he retires he’s handing ownership of the shop to me. He has no children of his own, and he knows I love the garage.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Wow.” I lean back and prop my feet on the bar.
She fixes me with a glare, but the shadow of a smile plays on her lips. “Wow? Is it that hard to believe?”
“Not a lot of women dream of owning their own auto body shop.”
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” her shoulders slump and she picks at her nails, “I’m not like most women.”
“No, baby, you certainly are not.”
She peers up at me from beneath her eyelashes. “It would be nice to own a business, make my own hours. If I’m ever lucky enough to get married and have kids, it’ll make things easier.” Her cheeks turn pink and she hides behind her tea.
My mind conjures up images of Raven, her belly swollen with a baby. And like the flicker of an old home movie, pictures flash of her cradling a dark-haired infant. Scattered visions of dark pigtails, training wheels, and ballet recitals manifest behind my eyes.
“Holy shit.” I grind my fists into my eye sockets, rubbing out the fantasy. That has never happened to me before. Never.
“You okay?”
I shake it off, pull it together, and attempt to hide the full-fledged freak out that’s bubbling to the surface.
“Yeah, fine. Just a-a weird headache or s-something.” I’m fucking stuttering!
Time for evasive maneuvers. I breathe deep, and fix my eyes on hers. The concern in her face dissolves into an easy smile. I smile back, making sure it’s bright enough to expose both dimples. It’s a desperate move, but it works. She licks her full lips, slowly rubbing them together in anticipation of what’s coming. As I’m leaning in, happy to give her what she wants, the muffled sound of her phone fills the air.
“Whoops, sorry.” She grabs her phone from her pocket. Glancing down at the caller ID, her eyebrows scrunch and mouth goes tight.
“Who is it?”
“I don’t know. I don’t recognize the number.”
“Answer it, baby.”
She nods and hits the answer button before pressing the phone to her ear.
“Hello.” Her pleasant smile quickly fades. Her body shoots ramrod straight, and the color drains from her face.
Twelve
Jonah
What the hell? Blood pumps in my ears, and a mild buzz starts at the base of my neck.
“I’m fine.” She’s being polite to the mystery caller, but her voice is completely void of its usual spunk.
Alarms fire in my head.
Her eyes snap up to mine and widen a fraction. “Meet with you tomorrow?”
I’m up from my barstool and standing at her side. Less than a foot away, I’m able to make out the voice coming through her phone. I can’t hear exact words, but the low mumbles are undoubtedly male. Fuck.
“Um . . . I don’t know. I mean, why now?” She looks at her lap and rubs her forehead with her free hand.
The man on the phone mumbles on, and she worries her bottom lip. Her eyes hit mine, and a tiny spark of my Raven is back. “Okay, see you then.”
She hangs up the phone and stares at it in her hand as if she doesn’t know how it got there. Then she looks up at me.
“Who was that?” My voice is calm, but not in a way that provides comfort.
She places the phone on the bar like it’s made of glass. “That was Dominick.”
Adrenaline rocks my body. My muscles tense. The buzz in my head intensifies with every hammer of my heart.
“He wants to meet with me tomorrow at ten a.m.”
“No fucking way.”
She pins me with a glare. “Why not?”
How can she ask me that? I told her she needed to stay away from that guy.
“Because I said so.” I annunciate every word slowly to avoid roaring in her face, but she still flinches.
“I told him I’d go. I’m going.” She says it with such conviction I can’t decide if I want to shake her or kiss her.
“Fine. I’m going with you.” This woman is infuriating. Why can’t she just do what I say? I pinch the bridge of my nose and close my eyes, trying to numb the all-consuming buzz that makes me want to rip Dominick Morretti apart.
“No, he said I have to come alone.”
My eyes shoot open before they narrow in anger. “What! Why? Who says that unless they’re up to something?” I don’t mean to yell, but my fight or flight reaction is kicking in and flight is not in my vocabulary. “What the fuck, Raven? I told you I don’t want you anywhere near that guy, and you promised you’d stay away from him!”
“I know, I promised but—”
“But what? Do you have any idea what this guy’s like? Word around town says he’s got his hands in everything, not just prostitution. He’s been questioned for murder, drugs, weapons. Shit, Raven, he’s only walking free because he’s got his money so far up law enforcements ass I’m surprised they don’t shit gold.”
“Please, stop.” She whispers to her lap.
“Stop! Stop what? Your psycho dad calls and wants to meet with you alone, and you want me to sit here on my fucking hands and do nothing? God, Raven! This guy’s a criminal.” I pace the around the bar to burn off some aggression. The last thing I want to do is scare her, but fuck. “If you think I’m going to let you meet that dickhead alone, you’re crazy.”
She sniffs and wipes her eyes. Ah, crap. I breathe in and out of my nose and count to ten. My heart rate slows enough that it’s no longer throbbing in my ears as I wrangle my wild impulses.
“Baby, I’m sorry.” I smooth her hair behind her ear. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just lost it for a second.”
She wipes the tears from her cheek. “You don’t understand.”
Closing the space between us, I pull her chin up to look in her eyes. “Explain it to me.”
“Ever since I was a kid, I’d dreamed that one day he would come along and ask for me. Even after I found out what he was, I still wanted him.” Her eyes look away, but I don’t release her chin. “I still wanted a dad.”
Her words shoot through my rage, straight to my heart. I wouldn’t give up the twelve years I had with my dad for anything. And as painful as it was to lose him, I had a dad who loved me. Raven’s never felt that.
Who am I to say that Dominick’s intentions aren’t good? Maybe he does want a relationship with Raven. I’d bet my balls that’s not true, but if I don’t allow her to find out for herself, if I stand between her and the possibility, she’ll never forgive me.
I brush my thumb along her lower lip, feeling it quiver beneath my touch. “Okay, baby. I get it.”
Her eyes smile through her tears and she kisses my thumb.
With a tug, she’s up from her barstool. I wrap my arms around her waist. She locks her hands behind my neck, holding me to her.
“You’ll call me when you get there.” I’m so close to her mouth, I can smell the sweet tea on her breath.
“Yes.” Her answer is breathy and full of need.
My girl. Always so responsive.
She puts
pressure on my neck to bring me to her, but I’m not finished.
“And you’ll call me when you’re finished.” I slide my hands down to her ass, drawing her hips closer.
“Mm-hmm.” Her answer comes out on a moan.
“Not when you get in your car, not when you get home, but when you’re walking away, you call me.” I tighten my hold to make sure she understands. I’m not fucking around.
“Yes, Jonah, I’ll do anything. Just kiss me, please.”
“That’s more like it.”
I drop a soft kiss against her lips. She pushes up on her tiptoes, pressing hard against me searching for my lips, but I hold back. She whines adorably, and I reward her by feathering another kiss on her lips.
“Please.”
Her final plea shatters the last of my control. I cover her mouth with mine. My hand slides up her shirt along her spine, desperate to feel her skin. She arches her back, and pulls me in, shifting her weight so that our torsos are touching from chest to hip.
With her body soft and pliable in my hands, the taste of her tongue flooding my mouth, my chest tightens with feelings I’m only beginning to name. She owns me completely. The pull I felt toward her when we met, waking up with her in my arms, my conversation with Owen, my compulsion to protect her, everything jumbles in my head until need coils in my sternum. Not the usual need that rips at me, but something stronger. It’s been seeping in slowly and now crushes me from the inside out.
I hold her to me, hoping the strength in my arms will give me the power to do what I’ve never done before. Breaking the kiss, her eyes lock on mine, questioning. Even through my nervousness, in this moment, nothing has looked as clear or as obvious.
“I love you, Raven.”
She gasps and her body jerks. She looks at me as if seeing me for the first time. Her shaky hand covers her mouth. Her head rocks back and forth slowly in what looks like disbelief. She doesn’t say it back and I don’t care. I love her. If she’s not there yet, I’ll wait as long as it takes until she is.
1001 Dark Nights: Bundle Fourteen Page 69
