~*~
Raven
“So, Raven, tell me about your family. Does your mom live here in town?”
Water spews from my mouth. I choke and gasp for air.
“Oh, goodness, honey, are you okay?” Katherine hands me a dishtowel and pats me on the back.
She’s been busy making dinner and filling me in on Jonah’s milestones growing up. The subject change took me by surprise.
“Yeah, I’m good. Thank you. Just went down the wrong pipe.”
“You scared me.”
You think that scared you? Ask me again about my mom.
I’m not happy about opening the closet doors to my soul and revealing my dark secrets to the one person in the world I want to like me. But, I can’t lie to Jonah’s mom either. She’s going to find out eventually, and what will she think then? If I plan on being a part of Jonah’s life, I need to be honest, upfront. What’s that saying? The truth will set you free. More like the truth will keep you single. Maybe she’ll forget if I change the subject.
She’s cutting vegetables, oblivious to the fact that I’m about to drop a bomb directly on her sweet head. “So, you were telling me about your parents?”
Too late.
I’ll talk around it. That will give her enough to be satisfied, and I won’t have to tell her the ugly truth.
“My mom lives in town, yes, and so does my . . . um . . . my dad.” Saying the word makes me want to spit to clean out the dirty.
“Are they still married?” Her questions are so casual and every day. Nothing more than a little small talk with the girl who’s dating her son. Boy, is she in for a surprise.
Just get it over with! It’ll be easier that way.
I bite my lip, working up my nerve. “Uh, no, they were never, um, married.”
This sucks.
“Oh, that’s too bad. What do they do? For work?” Her eyes are fixed on the task before her, chopping and dumping into a bowl.
“My mom is in sales.” Please, let that be enough. My stomach churns. This already feels like a lie.
“What does she sell?
My shoulders slump in defeat. Might as well get it over with. I check the clock on the microwave. Jonah should be home soon. I wish he were here now.
“Herself. My mom is a call girl.”
Her chopping ceases and she turns toward me, the question burning in her eyes. “Call center girl?”
I scrub my face with my hand. “Call girl.”
Katherine’s knife drops on the counter with a clang. Her eyes are huge and her mouth moves, but no sound comes out.
I’m not finished yet. “Her pimp . . . well, he’s my . . . my uh . . . he got her pregnant.”
She adds head shaking to the list of silent responses.
“I don’t . . . or, um, never had a relationship with either of them.” I exhale a long breath.
There. I did it.
My teeth rake over my lower lip. I count the tiles on the floor. Silent seconds tick. I prepare for the speech about my being trash and no good for her son. I straighten my spine, ready for her attack on my character. Dragging my eyes to meet hers, I lurch in shock.
Her eyes are the exact shade of Jonah’s. And just like Jonah, filled with compassion. Not judgment. I relax a fraction under their gaze.
“That’s an incredible story.” Her voice is gentle and calms my nerves. “You must have been through a lot growing up. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you.” She picks up my hand and holds it in hers. “You know what you are, Raven?”
I shake my head no, fearing that my voice will break the consoling cocoon her words provide. I’m desperate to know.
What am I?
“You’re like that single wild flower that grows from the crack in the pavement: miraculous growth with no water source or fertile soil. A person walking by would step around that flower to avoid crushing it. It’s not like the field of wild flowers you tromp through carelessly, crushing them under your feet, knowing that the next day will bring a hundred more.”
She pauses to place her hand on my cheek. “You’ve managed a life through your obstacles. It may be a lonely life, but a life nonetheless. Surviving is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s something to be proud of.”
She sees me as worthy. Not a weight in Jonah’s life, but special. A miracle.
I want to express what her words mean to me, but can’t organize my emotions fast enough. Tears pool in my eyes. I blink, and they overflow as her speech runs on repeat in my head, leeching out the poison left behind in my soul.
She brings a kitchen towel to my face and wipes my tears. Her kind smile is more than I can handle and I sob.
“Oh, honey.” She pulls me into her arms. I’m completely lost in her embrace. She holds me tight, speaking words into my hair about strength and release.
My cheek presses into her shoulder, soaking her shirt with my tears. I startle when a pair of strong arms pull me away from her. So deep in my sorrow, I didn’t hear him come in. The familiar smell of citrus and spice relax my muscles, and I bury myself into Jonah’s chest.
“Mom. What the fuck happened?” Anger laces his voice.
I can’t see Katherine’s face, but her whispered, “It’s okay, Joey” has him relaxing against me. He takes a deep breath and holds me until I calm.
“Baby?” He kisses my head and rubs my back.
I lean away from Jonah, but he keeps his arms tightly around my waist. I wipe my face, feeling exposed and embarrassed. “Sorry. It’s stupid—”
“No, Raven, don’t do that. Don’t belittle your strength with embarrassment. You have nothing to be ashamed of.” Katherine’s eyes are wet with tears.
I nod and simply say the only thing I can, “Thank you, Katherine.”
Staring at Jonah’s neck, I’m unable to lift my gaze, fearing what I might see in his eyes.
“Hey. Look at me.”
I brave a glance.
He’s smiling tenderly, bringing forth both dimples. “You okay?”
I nod.
“Right.” He kisses my lips, then the tip of my nose, and finally my forehead.
“My son is lucky to have you, Raven. I’m very proud of him, and I’m equally proud of you.”
Warmth floods my chest, flowing into my cheeks and pulling on my lips. I look from Katherine to Jonah.
“You girls have fun today?” He doesn’t take his eyes from mine. His voice is soft and I appreciate the change to a happier subject.
We hang out in the kitchen while Katherine puts the finishing touches on dinner. Jonah steals pieces of food off the counter and she slaps his hand. For the first time, I see Jonah as a boy while he playfully teases his mom. I laugh as she reprimands him for drinking milk straight from the carton. She fills him in on his sister and her husband. He laughs at the stories about his nephews getting into trouble.
I’m nothing more than a spectator to this beautiful display of family. I watch in silence as envy piggybacks my happiness.
After a delicious meal, I excuse myself to clean the kitchen so Jonah and his mom can have some time alone. Drying the last dish and putting it away, I head straight to Jonah’s garage for some quiet time with the Impala.
With my hair pulled back, I plug the iPod into the dock and allow the music to wash through my body, taking with it the multitude of conflicted emotions tumbling in my chest.
Some of the music from Jonah’s iPod is familiar, but one song catches my attention. I read the name on the screen as “Halo” by Beyonce. It seems Beyonce knows a thing or two about my situation, as her words become my heart’s anthem. I put the song on repeat and turn back to the car to bury myself in work.
Lost in the combination of my work and the music, I jump at the sound of the door opening. How long have I been in here?
“I knew I’d find you here.” He wraps me in a hug. His body is warm and comforting.
“I wanted to give you and your mom some time alone. I thought I’d come out here until she went to bed.”
He sits on the hood of the Impala, propping his heels on the bumper and pulling me between his legs.
“My mom is in love with you.” He tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “She flat out told me that if I didn’t marry you she’d disown me. I think she likes you more than she likes me.”
My cheeks warm. “She’s incredible, Jonah.”
“I’m glad you think so. You know, I was kinda hoping that someday she’d be your mother-in-law.”
My eyes flash to his and a slow smile pulls at my lips. Holy crud. Is he asking what I think he’s asking?
“Whaddya say? You feel like droppin’ Morretti for good?”
Twenty-seven
Jonah
I’m not breathing. I’m waiting.
She’s staring at me like I sprouted horns . . . and a tail.
I just asked her to marry me. Sure it wasn’t your candlelight dinner, down on one knee, shed a tear kind of proposal. But it was a proposal. I don’t know what came over me. It just came out. I don’t regret the words, but fuck. What kind of a dick asks his girlfriend to marry him in his garage? I don’t even have a ring.
I’ve known for a while now that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I just haven’t been able to focus on that. It’s been more important that I focus on our immediate future and the fight.
But now, nothing’s as important as her answer. Why isn’t she saying anything?
I reach out and cup her face, running my thumb along her lower lip. “Baby?”
Her eyebrows pinch together. Not a good sign.
With a few rapid blinks, she focuses on me. “What if you win tomorrow night?”
Ah, fuck. Not this again.
No matter how many times I assure her that I can throw this fight, she’s never totally convinced.
“I told you I’d lose it. I mean it. Now leave it alone.” My words are terse and powered by irritation. I don’t mean to be rude, but fuck. I just proposed, and this is the shit she wants to talk about?
I push both hands through my hair and take a deep breath. Her soft hand brushes my cheek. I look at her, my jaw cramping and eyes narrowing. She jumps, but quickly recovers, and places a lingering kiss on my cheek.
“I believe you can lose the fight, I do. But what if I say I’ll marry you and then something happens? Something terrible, like you get hit too hard and flip the switch on Del Toro? Or what if, I don’t know, he does something to forfeit the fight? You want to marry a prostitute? You want to share your wife with the wealthy men of Las Vegas?”
I grimace at the thought. No, I won’t share my wife with other men. I’d fucking kill any man who came near her with those intentions.
Her expression goes soft and she nods. “That’s what I thought. So what are our options? We could run, take off, live out our married days moving from place to place . . . ’til death do us part.”
She brings both hands up to cup my face. “You deserve better than that, Jonah. Your mom deserves better than that.”
“I don’t want to live without you.” Emotions surge within me making my voice rough.
A single tear trails down her cheek, betraying her smile. “And I don’t want to live without you. Of course, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” Her expression hardens. “But I don’t want to talk about the future. Not until we know, with one-hundred-percent certainty, that we have one.”
So that’s a yes. Right? A maybe? Shit.
“Nothing will keep me from you. I know what’s going to happen tomorrow night. But if things don’t go as planned, I’ll take you away. Living a life on the run is better than living a life without you.” I wrap my hand around the nape of her neck and pull her face close to mine. “No one can keep us apart.”
“I love you, Jonah." Her hands run down my shoulders, and chest, settling on my abdomen.
My blood roars from the heat of her touch. I need her to understand that her life means more than my own. I’d give it all away: every dream, every accomplishment. Everything for her.
With a gentle tug, I tilt her head and hold her lips mere centimeters from mine. She closes her eyes and leans in for a kiss. I fist her hair tighter, holding her in place. A moan vibrates deep in her throat. We swallow each other’s breath from our parted lips. Electricity buzzes between us. My teeth scrape against my lower lip with the urge to take her mouth. Her eyes dilate and her breath quickens.
She shifts and steps closer. The side of my mouth curls into a half smile. My girl. Always so anxious and ready.
She licks her full lips. Our mouths are so close I can almost taste the moisture her tongue left behind.
“Jonah—”
“Baby, you look so sexy right now.”
She closes her eyes at my whispered words. I hold on tighter.
“Holding you like this, putting you close to what you want. It’s hot, baby. You shift and rub your thighs together like you’re trying to put out a fire.”
She sucks her bottom lip into her mouth.
“You press into me, like you’re hoping our bodies will melt together.”
A whimper escapes her lips.
“Mmm. Love that sound.” I flex my hips into her stomach.
Her eyes shoot open and plead with me to end to her suffering. Pissed or begging, smiling or crying, my girl is damn sexy.
My girl.
Dominick’s words echo in my head. I take care of what’s mine. His? The fuck she is. I don’t care what I have to do tomorrow night to make it happen, but I will walk out of that arena with Raven under my arm and our entire future ahead of us.
I lean forward and brush my lips softly against her forehead. Her eyes flutter closed. I brush my lips against each of her eyelids, taking my time to savor the soft pear scent of her hair. Finally, my lips hover over hers.
“You’re mine, baby. Always.”
“Promise me.” Our mouths are so close, her lips brush against mine with her words.
My chest cramps at the desperation in her voice. “I promise.”
And that’s all I can take.
I cover her lips with mine, and she immediately opens to me. Our tongues glide together in gentle strokes. I grab her hair, tilt her head, and delve in deeper. Soft, wet, and delicious. A groan pushes up from my chest and she takes it with an answering moan.
My ass planted on the hood of the Impala, I use my leverage to pull her tight between my legs. Her hands slide under the legs of my shorts and up my thighs. She pushes her soft fingers under the hem of my boxers and my hips roll into her touch. I let go of her hair with one hand and snake my arm behind her back.
“I love you.” A storm of emotion and hunger swirl in my chest, making my declaration come out on a growl.
“I love you.”
She pushes her hands the extra few inches to my throbbing hard-on. The muscles in my stomach contract as her touch sends waves of pleasure up my spine. With both hands, she grabs hold and strokes. I’m light headed. Her grip tightens as I rub and tease her breasts over her shirt. I want to go soft. Be gentle. But my hands claw at her clothes, itching to get to her skin.
Closer.
I break the kiss, grab the hem of her gray tank top, and pull it over her head. My eyes go wide at her bright red, lace bra. Fuckin’ hell.
I slide off the hood of the car, mesmerized by her breasts as they strain against their lace cage. My hands cup her and squeeze gently. Her head falls back on a moan. I run my thumbs across her nipples watching how they react beneath the fabric.
My hands travel down her tight, flat stomach to the waistband on her shorts. With a swift tug, I pop the button and open to what I know is matching lace panties.
Raven shifts her hips and slides her short shorts down her long, tan legs. My head tilts as I take in her body from head to toe. Each sliver of soft skin, every curve of decadent flesh, all perfect and mine in every way. My eyes linger on the parts of her body I want to get to first, covered in red lace. I lick my lips.
“Your turn
.” She motions to my shirt with a tilt of her head.
I want her hands on me. “Uh-uh. You do it.”
Her eyelids are heavy over blue-green pools of liquid heat. She slips her hands beneath my shirt, eyes locked on mine. Her fingernails drag against my skin as she runs her hands up to my chest. I suck air through clenched teeth as the bite of her nails sends pleasure straight down. I raise my arms and bend for her to pull my shirt off over my head.
The weight of her stare on my naked torso shoots heat through my veins. She runs her hand along my arm to my shoulder while her other hand glides down to the button of my shorts. She stops there and slips her fingers inside the waistband of my boxer briefs, brushing against the tip of my dick. My head falls back on a groan. I’m going to explode if I don’t get inside her soon. I reach down to undo my pants.
Her hand covers mine and she pushes up on her tiptoes, placing her lips against my neck. “No, I got it.”
Soft, wet lips part at my neck as she licks and nips while unbuttoning my shorts. They fall to the ground and I kick them off. I press her back against the Impala, placing her sexy, lace-clad ass on the hood. She lifts an eyebrow in question, but her crooked smile tells me she knows exactly what’s about to happen.
She leans back, resting her weight against her elbows. I pin her with my eyes, plant my knee between her legs, and climb up.
~*~
Raven
His body covers mine, pushing me back. My stomach jumps at the thought of our naked bodies tangled together surrounded by the smell of oil and rubber. This scenario has run through my head a few times since I started working with Jonah. I rest my heels on the bumper as Jonah covers my face, neck, and shoulders with hot, wet kisses.
A fantasy come to life.
Just like his spontaneous proposal. Not at some romantic beach local or in some crowded restaurant. But here, in my sanctuary. No cheesy sonnets read down on one knee or even a ring. I don’t need that. Any of it. All I need is him.
Sucking and nibbling, he makes his way down to my breast. He continues lapping at my skin before pulling my flesh into his mouth over my bra. The combination of his warm tongue and the friction from the lace make my back arch, pushing me further into his touch.
1001 Dark Nights: Bundle Fourteen Page 84
