by K. M. Hill
“But…” Sabrina started.
“No, buts. If I have to stand up at your wedding and be the person who cannot ‘hold her peace as to why these two people cannot be joined’, I’ll do it,” she said sternly.
She smiled, but Sabrina knew Lillie would do it. She was a force.
“Once we get that all settled, then you go back to Zach. Have you spoken to him since you have been here?” Lillie asked.
“
“No. I’ve been so consumed with Troy and honestly, I was so awful when I left.”
“What happened?” Lillie asked concerned.
“He was getting dressed to drive me. He didn’t want me driving because I was clearly upset. He asked what had happened and what you’d had to say. I told him everything you’d said. He tried to tell me I wasn’t responsible. He tried to tell me it wasn’t my fault and that I wasn’t Troy’s fiancée any more. I screamed at him that he was wrong and it was my fault. As I walked out the door, I said maybe I should still be Troy’s fiancée,” Sabrina said consumed by the seriousness of the situation.
Chapter 43
Lillie put her head on Sabrina’s shoulder and gave her a squeeze.
“Yep, that was shitty. I understand it because I know you, but that was shitty. And now you haven’t called him?” she asked.
“No, the only one I called is Bella to ask her to stay at the house to take care of the dogs,” Sabrina informed.
“Wasn’t Zach at the house when I called?” Lillie asked confused.
“Yes,” Sabrina said simply.
Sabrina realized that she had completely discarded him in her thought process. He would have been surprised to see Bella show up to take care of the dogs and stay at the house.
“Sabrina, rewind the clock two days. If I asked you then, ‘Is Zach the one’, what would you have said? Be really honest,” Lillie pushed.
“I would have said I really think so and am scared to say that he is because it seems too amazing,” she admitted.
“How do you feel about my brother?” Lillie inquired.
“I love him dearly,” Sabrina said in full confidence.
“Is he the one?” Lillie pushed holding Sabrina accountable with this difficult question.
She didn’t say anything.
“Sabrina, removing this situation, if I asked you two days ago if Troy was ‘the one’, what would you say?” Lillie asked again.
“No,” Sabrina admitted.
Lillie sighed. “I know,” she said. “So we go forward from here. But don’t lose your focus. You can be here to support Troy and give him the love to help him get back on his feet, but don’t get confused again. And keep your mind on fixing things with Zach. Maybe you should start by calling him? It has been two days,” her friend gently encouraged.
“Ok, Lills. I’m going to go do that right now,” Sabrina finally agreed.
Sabrina got into the elevator and went to the first floor to get some fresh air. She really hadn’t realized she had been in there for two days. She was so wrapped up in her grief and guilt that time had stopped. Lillie’s conversation really changed everything. It helped her sort through things objectively. She did love Troy, but even though she wasn’t totally convinced, she’d started to entertain the idea that maybe she wasn’t FULLY responsible for this. Maybe over time she would see it differently. But regardless of that, she knew in her gut her original decision was right. She was almost fully ready to abandon all of that and be with Troy out of guilt. Lillie was right. That would have been a recipe for a disastrous marriage.
If only Troy would come around. He had to be ok!
She said another silent prayer. One of probably a thousand she had said over the last two days.
She pulled her phone out and dialed Zach. It went straight to voice mail. She found that strange. She thought about sending him a text, but decided she would try him again later.
Chapter 44
She made her way back to Troy’s room. She was anxious being away from him for so long, seeing that she had not left his side for two days. She had only been away less than thirty minutes, but was relieved to be back with him.
She held his hand, read to him, talked to him about various things in the newspaper she was reading. Intermittently, the hospital staff would come and make adjustments or check on him. His doctor had come several times each day and was more encouraging each time.
“Sabrina, I don’t know what you’re doing, but this guy looks like he is fighting hard. When I saw him in the ER, I was really worried. He had no fight in him. He had no interest in helping me help him. What ever you are doing, keep doing,” Dr. Habishaw advised.
“He’s going to come out of his sleep soon. He’s not in a coma. He’s just sleeping. Repairing. Maybe hiding a bit to let his body heal. I can tell at times he is aware of things, but he’s not ready to fully wake up. He will. Hang tough,” and the doctor left.
So she did. Lillie continued to come and go bringing her more clothes. Sabrina would shower in the bathroom adjoining his room. Her hair lived in a braid and she was make-up free because she just didn’t care about any of that right now.
On Tuesday afternoon, Sabrina was holding his hand reading an article about an upcoming boat show. Troy loved boats and she had always kidded him about the big yacht he had. She called him a rich, stuck up sailor and he would turn around and totally push it back on her calling her a horse princess.
They spent so much time on his boat with their friends. It was a place of relaxation and peace.
As she was reading him an article describing the boat show, she felt his hand move. She thought she had imagined it, but she stopped reading. Without any confirmation, she continued to read and kept glancing at his hand. After a few minutes, he linked one of her fingers in his.
She froze. She closed her eyes to gather herself but too late. She felt the tears fill them. She said a silent prayer of thanks. She turned her head to take a look at his face and saw his eyes were open and looking at her.
She jumped out of her chair.
“Troy! Oh my god, you’re awake! Troy! Let me get the doctor!” she said excitedly. As she tried to pull her hand out of his, he tightened it a little more.
“What Troy?” she asked concerned.
His voice was very rusty from lack of fluids and lack of use for the last several days. He whispered to her, “I am glad you are here. Thank you.”
She smiled. “I’m glad I am here too. Let me go get the doctor. He gave me strict instructions to contact him the moment you woke.”
He gave his head a slight nod after another squeeze of her hand.
Sabrina walked out of the room to get the nurses and contact the doctor. She gave Lillie a call. Lillie had just stepped out for coffee for the two of them and left the coffee shop at full speed after receiving Sabrina’s call. She nearly tackled him as she came through the door and saw her brother’s eyes open.
“You idiot! Do you know how much you scared me??? Don’t you ever do anything like this again! Do you understand! There is no way you are leaving me! Because I refuse to be on the hook of managing mom and dad the rest of my life!” she admonished him.
She had tears running down her cheeks, was smiling and hugging him all the while she was admonishing him.
“I just finally reached Mom and Dad on their trip. They’re catching a flight tonight and will be here tomorrow,” she informed him.
Troy’s doctor came and checked him over while Sabrina and Lillie waited outside. When the doctor was finished, he invited them to step back inside.
“Well, our young man is doing well, the doctor began. He will need a few weeks to recover and take it easy due to the damage his internal organs sustained at the impact of the car hitting the tree. But, with rest, he’ll be back to his old self in no time. I plan on keeping him for another two days for observation and frankly, I don’t think he would be able to function at home. He’s very weak.”
Troy listened to what the doctor said and kept hi
s eyes on Sabrina much of the time. She helped him so much over the last few days. While he wasn’t fully conscious, he knew she was with him constantly. Her talking to him, reading to him and words of encouragement were a pull to come out of this sleep.
He was thankful she was the first thing he saw when he woke up.
Chapter 45
Sabrina stayed with him that night. Troy didn’t have anything to say, still too weak. She also felt like he was watching the world and processing things. She continued her past activities by holding his hand, reading to him and chattering away.
She fell asleep in the chair next to his bed holding his hand. At one point he woke and saw her asleep. He watched her sleep and thought the state of things. He held her hand a little tighter as he drifted back to sleep.
Lillie arrived on the scene early the next morning with a vengeance. He knew that look in his sister’s eyes and he was leery of her agenda.
“Troy, it’s Wednesday. You’ve been lying on your ass asleep for days. Sabrina has left this room a total of one hour since you were in the ER. Help me send her home,” she instructed.
“Lillie, I’m…” she began.
“Be quiet Sabrina. C’mon Troy. She’s not going until you tell her,” Lillie pushed.
“Lillie, seriously…” Sabrina said trying to jump in.
“Go home,” Troy whispered.
They both looked at him.
He was looking at Sabrina. Lillie was right. She had been here non-stop and now he saw the toll it took. She looked pale and thinner. Her eyes carried less worry than yesterday, but she was still clearly exhausted.
“Go home. Go get some sleep. I’ll be fine,” he said in a low voice.
Sabrina looked at him. “Are you sure you’re fine? I’m happy to stay.”
“Go,” he said with a smile.
“Ok, well, I’ll be back shortly,” she promised.
“No, go get some sleep. Come back and have dinner with me,” he said.
She looked at him and seemed resolute.
“Ok. Then I will. Call me if either of you need anything or if anything changes.” She leaned over and gave him a kiss on the forehead.
Troy watched her leave. He took a moment and then looked at Lillie.
“Ok, sis. Spill it. Why did you kick her out and what is it you want to talk to me about?” he asked knowing his little sister too well.
Chapter 46
“Well, I see the accident didn’t affect your ability to read me,” she said with a laugh.
“Please,” he said with a low chuckle.
She turned serious. “You won’t want to talk about what I want to talk about, but I need to because I love you,” she started.
“I know you do. And it’s about Sabrina,” he said getting her started.
“Yes, Troy. Before your accident you were so upset about seeing that article and those pictures. I don’t want to upset you again, but I need to confirm that the accident was truly an accident,” she questioned him tentatively.
“Yes, of course it was. If you’re asking if I tried to kill myself, the answer is a firm no. I was definitely driving too fast. I had gone from being upset to raging. The road was wet and a deer jumped out. I swerved to avoid him and I did, but didn’t quite avoid the tree,” he explained.
“They said that when they tried to treat you at the scene and in the ER, that you weren’t helping them…that you weren’t interested in trying to be better. That made me think that maybe it wasn’t an accident,” she confessed.
“I don’t remember much from that time, but I can tell you I remember feeling disappointed in myself. I knew I had gotten myself into this situation and I knew that I was in a mess. I also remember feeling exhausted,” he tried to remember.
“Do you know Sabrina takes full blame for your accident?” she told him.
“No! Why would she do that? She wasn’t even there!” he said with great alarm.
“I made a mistake. I told her about our conversation that happened before your accident,” Lillie confessed.
Troy groaned. “Shit.”
“I shouldn’t speak for her, but I am going to because you two need some help,” Lillie plowed on.
“She loves you Troy and she is thinking that if she didn’t break up with you that you wouldn’t be in this situation. She’s been torturing herself over this and has been considering going back to you because of it.”
He didn’t want to hear these things, but it confirmed what he felt from her in his hospital room.
“Lillie. I think I was so upset on Sunday morning because I think I fully realized that I had lost her when I saw that picture. I know she loves me deeply. I also know that if I pushed it, especially coming off of this, that we would be back together. That makes me love her more.”
“But I’ve been kidding myself. When I left her in the airport, I really thought I had a good chance after Hawaii. As I was hugging her, I saw Zach over her shoulder. I made it seem like I left but I merely walked outside and stood and watched. There is something in her eyes when she is with him that was never there when we were together. And the guy is clearly in love with her…as he should be.”
“I left the airport very conflicted. I know that she had a hard time ending things because I know she loves me and I also know the super charging executive doesn’t like to lose. She doesn’t like to fail. And I know now that ending it with us had to be so hard for her. But last week, I was conflicted.”
“When I saw the pictures in the newspaper and saw her looking at him in those pictures with that same look in her eye, I knew my chances were dead. Not that I couldn’t get her back. I might have been able to. I love her too much to try to keep her. That’s why I was so distraught when I called you. I knew it was the end. I eventually need to find a way to have a relationship with her that’s different because I won’t live my life without her in it. But I know that it now has to be different,” he said sadly.
Lillie had been trying to hold herself together through is whole story but as he hugged him, she shook. He knew she was sharing his pain. In many ways, he was a lucky man and he would focus on that as he rebuilt himself.
Chapter 47
Sabrina breezed in looking a million times better around six o’clock. She carried dinner that consisted of soup from his favorite place.
“You look better,” he said feeling relieved at seeing her.
She laughed. “Yes, I feel better. I caught sight of myself as I was getting in the shower and I will admit, I was looking a little rough,”
A nap, some food and time with her dogs were a big injection of life into her tired veins. She had tried Zach several more times with the calls still going to voice mail. That was concerning but she put it to the back of her mind to be dealt with later.
They chatted about nothing important as they ate their soup. He had gotten up and walked the halls and was back to using the bathroom. He needed a little support because he still got dizzy but that was from being in bed so long. The doctor had come back in and said if he continued along this track, that he would discharge Troy in the morning.
“That’s really terrific, Troy! I’m so happy and so relieved,” she said.
He did see the relief in her eyes. He knew that some of that relief came as a result of the guilt she felt.
“Sabrina, we need to talk.”
She looked at him and he looked serious.
“What’s wrong Troy?” she asked.
“I need to say some things and you need to listen. I don’t want you to interrupt. We both know you are a control freak so it will be hard, but you need to, ok?” he asked looking for confirmation.
“Seriously, a control freak? What is with everyone harping on me being a control freak lately?” she said indignantly.
“Sabrina, you can’t possibly think you are going to debate the merits of that with me right now,” he said with a laugh.
His laugh settled her.
“Ok, fine. We’ll put that aside. What do you
want to talk about?”
“Several things. First, I got in a car when I shouldn’t have and drove too fast. A deer jumped out in front of my car and I worked to avoid it, which I did. Unfortunately, the streets were slick with rain and that’s how I ended up in the tree. That is all me. I did all of that. It was an accident and no one is responsible, least of all you. If anyone was responsible, it was I. But it was just stupidity and an accident,” he explained.
