by Bry Ann
“I mean, not the house. I just don’t know. It was in a direction... Look, I think…” Rose looks teary-eyed. Her eyes flicker between me and her friend.
“I don’t give a fuck about your friend right now, Rose. Where do you think she went?”
Tears are rolling down Rose’s face now. “I’m really not sure I’m right about this, but it looked like she was heading the same direction as the cells.”
“Cells?” Maria screeches.
My heart sinks. Oh, Lacey.
“Yes, cells, Maria. And if you don’t learn to shut your mouth, you’ll become very well-acquainted with them.”
I turn on my heel and walk in that direction, with a sinking heart. I really hope she’s not down there. I want to find her, but not there. The closer I get, the more I suspect that’s exactly where she’ll be. When I get to the doorway, I see Enzio standing there, guarding the entrance.
“I thought I told Sven to take you,” I snap.
“You did, but when he heard Lacey was down here, he told me to stay until you got to her.”
Smart man.
“Good. So she is down there, then?”
Please say no. Please say you’re not sure.
“Sorry, Boss.” His mask falters for a moment. “I followed her over to make sure she was okay. I watched her go down there.”
I feel air fill my lungs as I try to calm myself. “Alright, good work. Go help Sven.”
“Yes, Boss.”
He runs off. I throw the door open, and slowly descend down the stairs. I get chills walking down the endless rows of cells, knowing exactly which one she’d go to. I get to the end and sure enough, there she is, all huddled up, dress and jacket wrapped over her knees. The hair she spent so long trying to do is now either sticking up or matted to her face. A surge of fire runs through my heart. I slowly open the door and walk in. She doesn’t move. Doesn’t tell me to leave like I thought she would. She’s not crying. She’s just all wrapped up.
In her old cell.
Tormented and hurting.
I don’t know what do.
“We’ll get him. I swear, Lacey.”
She shrugs nonchalantly. Doesn’t lift her head. Doesn’t move.
“I’m so sorry. I’m so… I wish there was something better to say. Deeper than I’m sorry. Deeper than an apology. My heart is so broken for you.”
“I’m tired. I’m so, so tired.”
I freeze inside. I’ve heard these words before. I’ve seen her detach from me like this before. Every nerve inside of me freezes and spits ice.
“I shouldn’t feel this way. I’m a mom. I have a beautiful little girl depending on me. I have you.” She squeezes her eyes tighter, as she digs her nails into her thighs.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I just don’t want to do it anymore. I shouldn’t be saying this to you. You have enough to deal with.”
I lurch. Immediately, I sink down so I’m not hovering over her. I place my hands on her knees, and tilt her chin up to face me with my middle finger.
“I always have time for you. I always have room for you. Do you hear me? Don’t ever say that. Always and forever. That’s the vow I made, and I meant it. What do you mean ‘tired,’ babe? What are you trying to say?”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I can’t help it. I’m trying. I’m really trying.”
“I know.”
I massage her calves. Her whole body is incredibly tense, every muscle in her tiny body is braced.
In the tiniest voice possible, she voices my biggest fear.
“I’m tired of living.”
I cough to cover up the choked sound that escapes my lips.
“What can I do? What can I do, Lacey? Please, tell me. I’ll fix it. I’ll do anything. I’ll… I’ll fix it.”
I can’t fix it. I can’t fix her. Damn it!
No, I will! I’ll go the ends of the earth to help her. I’ll find the best doctors, the best therapists.
It’s her life, Adam. It’s this life. It’s killing her.
“Don’t give up on me,” she whispers.
“Never! Not in a million years.”
I keep shaking my head, over and over. I can’t stop it. Never. I’d never quit on her. On us. I feel her hands curl around my cheeks. It’s then that I realize I’m crying. Tears are rolling down my face.
“Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. I hate seeing you hurt.”
I laugh bitterly. “I know, little dove. You’re an angel.”
“No, just a dove. Remember? A messenger.”
“There are a lot of people who wouldn’t know about angels without doves.”
“Guess I’m doin’ alright then.”
“More than. You’re gonna be alright.”
I cup her cheek.
“You’re going to be alright. Keep fighting. I promise you more Thanksgivings. More celebrations and parties. I’ll figure it out. I swear to God, Lacey. Just please don’t give up. I’ll give you some normal. As normal as I can.”
“I don’t want normal.”
I shake my head sadly. “Yes you do, little one. Today, it was to give me a taste of normal. A taste of what it’s like to celebrate the company of others for no purpose other than tradition. I know you, Lacey. You’re anything but normal, but you desperately want some normalcy in this twisted life you got thrown into. And I’ll give it to you. I’ll find a way. Don’t quit on us.”
“You call our daughter your angel.”
“See, there are no angels without doves,” I whisper.
Sven
Days have passed since Lacey’s Thanksgiving fiasco. No one has seen her since the incident. I don’t even think she’s been boxing with Cut. I would have seen her walking through these halls at some point. I can tell Rose is worried sick, but knows she’s been gone for so long that it’s not her place to try to intervene. She feels awkward with me, in this house, in her body. She’s buried underneath it all. I know she hasn’t changed. She’s still there, but it’s hidden under damn sweaters, anxiety, uncertainty, and pain.
Good thing I’m great fucking digger.
I made contact with that fucking scum who is now working for me undercover. He didn’t have much to report. He says it’s hard to get close to Miguel. Miguel does a good job of getting people to do his shit without giving them too much information. This kid is sicker than his father. Unfortunately, far more intelligent as well.
I told the asshole to focus on finding out about any possible connection Miguel has with Aaron Marketta or any men who work for him. For a paycheck of an extra fucking $5,500, he agreed. Whatever. I just want this done.
Rose is with Maria, doing who knows what. I’ve done everything Boss has asked. What I should do now is try to sleep, but since I’m apparently a glutton for punishment, I’m gonna go find out if Lacey is alright. Don’t know why, honestly, but the shit Miguel pulled is bugging me. That bomb was strictly insurance. Literally, he only did it to break Lacey’s heart.
Success.
I want to find out how the hell he knew about her Thanksgiving charade. All in time. I’ve never wanted a kid to suffer so badly.
My arms slip through the sleeves of my suit jacket. I take the west wing. I’m gonna seek out Enzio first. He’s oddly caring, for one of our men. He had Lacey’s back big-time, the night all that shit went down. I just hope to God that he’s genuine, unlike Ricardo. Another Ricardo and Lacey is actually going to lose faith in humanity completely. If that happens, so many lives will be ruined.
“Oh, I think Lacey has everything to do with this. This game we’re playing here is like Jenga, isn’t it? I think Lacey is the piece that makes the whole tower crumble…”
I shake my head. I need to get that dumb ass kid’s voice out of my head.
“Sven.”
I whirl around to see Gioele and Frances standing there.
“Gioele. Frances.”
“Heard anything from Boss?”
Both men have dark circles under their eyes, especiall
y Gioele. Frances is young, single, and bloodthirsty. Gioele has a family he goes home to and is furious about what’s been playing out. He may be older and kinder than the rest of us, but he’s ruthless when pissed off. Regardless of all that, we are all humans. Superior humans. But humans. And we have been worked to the bone, with good reason, but…
“No, I haven’t.”
The unacknowledged words between us are that we should use this time to get some sleep. None of us are pussy enough to admit that though.
“Any of you seen Enzio?”
“No. No sign of him. Haven’t seen Boss or Lacey either.”
“Hmm.”
Both of them are staring at me like they are waiting on me to say something else.
“Anything else you’d like to say?” I raise an eyebrow at the two of them.
“You know your girl is at the pool with her super hot friend.”
That’s Frances, of course. “Is she now?”
“She is. Making a fuck ton of noise. I have no clue what the hell they are doing.”
I shake my head. “That girl brings something crazy out of Rose.”
“I bet she’d be a good lay.”
“Stay away from Rose’s friend. I’d like to get her out of here unscathed, if possible.”
He laughs. “Don’t think it’s possible with that one.”
“Yeah, but you sticking your dick in her won’t help shit.”
He laughs, and winks. Fuck. Can’t the Maria chick go? I just roll my eyes.
“Whatever. Not my problem. Protect Rose with your life, and we won’t have a problem.”
Both men nod. “Got it.”
“Good.”
I spin on my heel. Pool, huh? Grinning, I walk in that direction. Rose had better be in her bikini. If she is in some t-shirt business I will pull her straight out and strip her myself.
“I guess you’re right.”
“Come on, you guess?”
“No, you’re right. It just doesn’t feel that way.”
My eyebrows pull together as I follow the sound of the voices. I walk down the stairs that lead to the floor with our boxing gym, weight room, recovery room, and all that shit. In the same hall that Ricardo attacked Lacey, Lacey is sitting there with her knees pulled up to her chest. Enzio is right next to her, sitting the exact same way, just more casually. His elbows are resting on his knees like he doesn’t have a care in the world. He’s around Lacey’s age, a few years younger than me. He has dark black hair that rests over his eyes and extremely pale skin. He’s fairly strong, but far more agile than the rest of us.
Seeing how comfortable Lacey seems with him, I hope he’s as genuine as he seems. Right now, he’s just listening to her. I should go, but when do I ever do what I’m supposed to?
“I get that. I know you’re crushed.”
Lacey shrugs.
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Act like it’s no big deal when you get your heart broken.”
“I guess it’s just stopped mattering.” She turns to him with narrowed eyes. “Why are you here, anyway? The last one of Ruston’s men to try to be nice to me attacked me, in this very hall, actually.”
Enzio looks surprised by that.
“What a fucking idiot. Is he breathing?”
That gets a little smile out of Lacey.
“Haven’t seen him since. I’m not a good person to befriend.”
“No, you’re not a good person to hurt. Distinction.”
Lacey looks down at her Hurley sweatshirt and smiles.
“I really hope you’re not… bad.”
“I am bad.”
His lip twitches. What a pathetic word for what we are.
“Well, everyone here is. I just mean, I don’t know, evil without honor. You know.”
Both of them laugh quietly. He reaches over and squeezes her knee. It’s not at all sexual. It’s a gesture of goodwill.
“You’ll be fine. Promise. Boss will handle all this. Things will settle.”
“Thanks for talking with me, Enzio.”
“We’ve all missed seeing your pretty face, Lacey. Don’t let that asshole win, alright?”
Enzio stands up. Okay, that’s my cue to go. I turn off, back on my route to the pool. My mind is still on their conversation. I have to keep an eye on Enzio. For the sake of our family’s safety, of course. No one else will betray Lacey as long as Boss and I have a say in it. Lacey looks so damn dejected, but I’m glad she’s out of her room. Hopefully, she starts boxing again soon, and gets back to her usual routine.
“Maria! You are seriously insane. Only you would be perfectly comfortable in a mafia house. I said you could go home!”
“And leave you here? Never! I make the best of my shit.”
I slide the door open and lean against the doorway. There she is in a red bikini that wraps around, accentuating her breasts, wearing matching bikini bottoms. Unfortunately, no forceful removing or stripping required.
“Thank god you’re out of those damn sweaters.”
Rose whirls around. Maria snorts. “See? Those sweaters are no way to make your man want you.”
That earns a smirk from me. Maybe she’s worth keeping around.
“Sven, this pool is sick!” Maria yells over, kicking her feet up to float at the top of the pool. I’m not sure her bikini is even required, given how little fabric there is.
“He’s not my man, and I’m not trying to impress him,” Rose hisses in Maria’s ear, loudly enough for me to hear. “What are you doing here, Sven?”
“Just came to see if the rumors were true.” Rose rolls her eyes. “Heard you two were causing all sorts of trouble.”
Rose stares at me, not saying anything, her eyes going up and down the length of my body.
“Okay,” Maria mumbles, “I know when I’m being a total cockblock. Go on, Rose. I’ll be fine. I promise. I won’t cause any trouble.”
She leans over and shoves Rose’s shoulder.
“But I—”
“Nope. No buts.” Maria grabs Rose under her armpits and lifts her to the steps. “Out you go. Towels to your left.”
I’m full on grinning now. Okay, crazy Latin chick can stay.
“Maria,” Rose grumbles, snatching a towel.
“Byeee, you’re welcome.”
I extend my hand to Rose. She rolls her eyes, but she takes it. She. Takes. It. I drag her down the hall as quickly as I possibly can. I need to get my hands on her. Right the fuck now. When we get to my room, I yank her inside.
“Sven, slow,” she gasps.
I grab the back of her head and kiss her. Lips on lips. Her tongue slips into my mouth. Her words say slow, but her actions say fast.
“Sven,” she moans as my hands massage her breasts from outside her bikini top.
“I like this on you. A lot. No more hiding, Rose.”
“I’m not.”
She yelps as I move the top aside and suck on her nipple.
“Sven!”
I pull away and grin up at her. “By all means, keep screaming my name.”
She swings at me. I laugh as I come up to meet her face.
“You know I love it when you fight me.”
“Then you’re in for lots of loving, Sven Evane Xander!”
“Starting now.”
I walk her backward ‘til her feet hit the edge of the mattress. I see her ready to open her mouth to protest, act surprised, whatever it is she does to come to terms with us.
“Don’t,” I whisper, tracing my finger over her open lips. “Whatever you were going to say, don’t.”
“What if—”
I push my finger harder against her lips.
“Shhh,” I whisper in her ear before nipping at it. I grin when I see her squeeze her legs together a little tighter. I run my other finger down the center of her body softly before resting it right above her bikini line. She visibly shivers.
“You run, you hide, you avoid the things you want based o
ff of your father’s actions. He tried to kill you once, Rose, don’t let him do it again by stealing the next seventy years from you. Do you want me? Do you love me? Did you think about me every day while you were off hiding from the world? Did you touch yourself thinking of me? If you did, then say it. Say it, Rose. Fuck what I do for a living. We’ll work that shit out. Say it. Say what you want. I’m not taking from you anymore. You want it, give it.”
I don’t even get the words out before her lips are against mine.
“Don’t get a bigger head than you already have, but…”
I cut her words off by sliding my finger inside her bikini bottoms and pressing down on her clit.
“You love me?”
I slowly slide my finger up and down her slick walls. She moans and tangles her fingers in my hair.
“Sven… can’t we… uh… GEEZ!”
I smirk and slide a second finger inside her.
“Feel good?” I know damn well it does.
“I hate you,” she breathes.
“Aww, let’s test that.”
I push her back on the bed. I expect her to fight. What I don’t expect is for her to scramble back on the bed so her head is laying against the pillow, blonde hair spread out underneath her. Her blue eyes are trained on me and hooded.
“Let’s.”
Fuck me. I throw my jacket off. Every button on my shirt rips as I tear it off. I don’t give one fuck about it. My body causes the bed to bounce sightly as I jump onto it. I lean over and kiss the shit out of her.
“You’re so fucking perfect.”
“You keep saying that. I’m not. I’m so far from it.”
“To me you are. Fuck.” I grab her face. “You’re here. You’re all I’ve wanted.”
She laughs to herself as I slide my pants down my legs.
“You’re so different, Sven.”
I shrug. “We all change. Hopefully for the better.”
I wink as I slide down my boxers. She looks so fucking horny.
“Rose, have you slept with anyone since you died?”
She rolls her eyes. “Ghosts are hard to fuck, Sven.”
“You know what I mean. Rose...” I sit back on my heels. “Have you slept with anyone since me?”
Holy shit.
“‘Slept with’ is a very vague term. I mean, I—”
