by Bry Ann
“Lacey, it’s just me.”
She pulls in tighter.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please don’t leave me.”
“Leave you?” His jaw drops.
Gasp.
Exhale. Exhale. Exhale.
He gets himself together enough to speak again.
“Lacey, sweetheart, what are you sorry for?”
That sends her spiraling further. He looks at me, fighting to keep his face firm, but I see the fear there. Fear, why? What don’t I know?
“What do I do? I’ve never seen her like this. This isn’t how she typically reacts.”
“She needs to breathe, and ground herself. Don’t focus on anything other than getting her to breathe, repetitive and soothing. Discussing what happened will only stress her out more.”
He nods, and the slightest bit of gratitude flickers in his eyes.
“Lacey, babe, I need you to breathe for me. Follow my voice. Come on. In.”
She doesn’t follow. Exhale. Exhale. Exhale.
“Lacey,” he says firmly. “In.”
Slowly, she inhales.
“Good. Out.”
She exhales.
“In.”
This goes on for several minutes, until finally Lacey’s breathing evens out. Her body collapses into the chair. Panic attacks take everything out of a person. It feels like you’ve run a marathon while crying about the most tragic thing in your life. Like you’re back in the ancestral days and have been running from a tiger for miles on end.
Dark circles are now apparent under her eyes as she quietly breathes in and out.
“Can you tell me what happened, Lacey? Please.”
The minute the words leave Adam’s lips, she starts to weakly sob. He gently rubs her arm, hair, back, anywhere he can reach her.
“Please talk to me. I’m worried.”
“Me too, Lace. It’s okay. It’s all okay,” I add. Her eyes find mine, pleading with me not to tell.
I’d never.
She doesn’t have to worry.
“I’m tired,” she finally says to Adam.
He sighs, wanting to pry, to find out what’s wrong, but he knows now is not the time.
“Alright. Alright.”
He gently wipes back the hair stuck to her face and scoops her up in his arms like she weighs nothing. I can feel my heart squeeze in my chest. I want that.
Lacey’s arms go around his neck and her head ducks into the crook of his shoulder. He starts to carry her off. The way her limbs dangle, I can tell she’s close to sleep, exhausted. Before they leave, she looks over his shoulder with sleepy eyes.
“I’m sorry. Tomorrow?”
“Don’t be, Lacey. Don’t be.”
Her eyes shine with gratitude as he carries her out. Then I’m left there alone. On the patio. I could always go back to share a room with Maria like I’ve done every night since I’ve gotten here. I wrap my arms around my waist as the cool air chills my skin.
My mind is still spinning from calling Nix and Kev. Hearing the Boss’s real name. Lacey having a panic attack. All of it.
My feet shuffle along the hardwood as I make my way to my room.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
I rap on the door only a couple of times before it swings open. Dark eyes and chiseled abs fill my gaze.
“Rose.”
His voice is reverent.
“Sven,” I glance at my feet and then back up at him from under my lashes. “I missed you.”
He doesn’t waste a second.
Lips on lips.
Hands on hands.
Skin on skin.
I give myself to him. This time, not because I’m running.
No, this time I’m staying.
Nix
I throw the comforter off my body and jump out of the bed. I don’t feel how I should. I feel numb. Like I have a duty to find out the truth, instead of a man who just found out his dead sister is in fact alive.
“Nix?”
Of course Sage isn’t sleeping. I know this. Sheepishly, I spin around, while pulling my pants up my thighs. Sage is there with her new kindle lighting up her sleep-deprived face.
“Is everything okay?”
She shoots up. I watch the way her small hands start to shake. “What’s going on?”
I can’t hide this from her. I sit back down on the bed and grab her hand, stroking my thumb over the top of it.
“You know my sister, Rose?”
“Of course.”
Her hand squeezes mine tighter. Instinctively knowing I’m not okay, even if I don’t. I squeeze my eyes shut. She pulls the emotions out of me. From warrior, to criminal, to man.
“That was her on the phone.”
Sage’s mouth falls open, her spine straightens, and her mouth opens and closes several times before she speaks again.
“I… but she’s dead.”
I nod firmly. It’s my job to get the truth.
“That’s why I have to go. I have to figure this out.”
I move to stand, but Sage’s hand tightens, pulling me back down.
“What is it, sweetheart?”
“What are you doing, Nix? Your family, they’re…”
“Sage,” I warn, spine stiffening.
She tenses slightly because of her history, but she knows I won’t hurt her.
“Nix, I’m just worried about you,” she whispers, “Don’t get mad. I’m on your team. I just want you to be careful. Your father already has you working for him again. Be careful this isn’t a trap.”
She’s trying to be strong, but I see the worry in her eyes. I tap her nose.
“Don’t you worry about me, doll. I got it. Just gotta go check on my sister real quick, yeah?”
She scoots in and cups my face in her hands. I feel the thump of my heart. Thump. Thump. Thump. It only beats like this for her, reminding me it’s still there.
“Come back to me, you crazy.”
“Psh, I’ll be back before you can miss me.”
She pulls away as I throw my shirt on.
“Doubt it,” she mumbles.
“Keep reading those books,” I tuck my gun into its holster. “I want to hear all about ‘em when I get back.”
“Okay.”
She looks so sad. I fucking hate it.
“Sage.”
“Yeah,” she glances up. Black and green hair. Sad eyes. Pale skin.
“Don’t look so sad. I’ll be back real soon.”
“I know. I just love you. I miss you when you’re gone.”
She shrugs like it’s no big deal, when it means fucking everything to me. My hands clench, and I leap on the bed.
“Come here.”
She slowly comes toward me.
“Yeah,” she says, trying to mask the intensity of what she’s feeling. What we both feel when we’re together.
I grab her face and plant my lips on her hers. She whimpers against my lips as I kiss her gently.
“That’s all,” I murmur when I pull away.
“Don’t you die on me, Nixon Marketta!” she shouts as I walk to the door. I look back over my shoulder with a grin.
There’s my brave girl.
Driving to that mafia safehouse is awful. God awful, and long. First off, I didn’t want to leave Sage. I miss her, and I’ve been gone too much working on my father’s shit already.
Alive. How is that possible? I received word from everyone of her death. It rung in my ears like a bomb. I knew immediately what it was. A message to me. This is what you get, Nix, for trying to be free. For trying to be ‘straight laced.’
It could have been Sage.
That fear mixed with the pain of losing my sister, who it turns out is pretty awesome, had me signing right back on with the man I hate.
Her death bothered me more than I cared to admit. I shut everyone out, except Sage. My sister was, is, everything my parents aren’t. Kind. Beautiful. Gentle. Passionate.
Then
all that love was extinguished from the Marketta family. Just gone, in the blink of an eye. The speed of a bullet. The worst part is, I know how naive my sister is. She truly believed our father to have her best intentions at heart, despite everything.
I can’t imagine holding onto that kind of hope, only to have it crushed time and time again. My mom taught me better. Then my dad came in and reinforced the lesson.
Oh, um, Nix, it’s Rose. It really is me. I survived the bullet and went into hiding,
I’ve played those words over and over again in my head. It didn’t sound like audio, it didn’t sound forced. It could very well be one of Aaron’s tricks. I’m aware. Sage was smart to think of that. I don’t think it is, though. I know my sister’s voice. It wasn’t even her voice that gave her away, it was the emotion in her voice. The guilt mixed with stubborn tenacity. Those two feelings are Rose’s signature.
I can’t get my hopes up though. I won’t until I lay eyes on her in person. If anyone has learned not to get their hopes up, it’s me.
I wish I could be the happy go lucky Nix everyone loves all the time, but I can’t. I wouldn’t survive, and most importantly, the people I love wouldn’t survive. Recent events are evidence of this.
A dark house comes into view. I roll down my window with a sigh. Here goes nothing…
“My name should be on the list, pal.”
“Then share it,” he snaps back with narrowed eyes. I smirk to piss him off.
“Nix. Nixon Marketta.”
“Go on in,” he grumbles.
“Thanks, man.”
I wink at the suited up pawn with an ego bigger than his position, and drive in. I spin my car around to park near the bushes guarding the view of the house. I’m sure that’s not a spot, but I don’t give a fuck. A quick spin and I’m out of this car. I’ve been driving practically all night.
I shove my sunglasses off my head and stalk up to the front door, slamming my fist on the wood a few times to get somebody’s attention. It works, because the door swings open.
I look into a pair of dark eyes in a black suit with slicked back hair and a mildly guarded expression.
“Good to see you, Sven.”
“I’m surprised you’re allowed back in this house after Lacey’s epic reign of terror.”
“We’re fine.”
He snorts. “It’s hard to piss Lacey off. You managed.”
I do my best to plant a smile on my face, but it slips. His happiness and playful demeanor have already given me my answer, but the racing of my heart and chill of my skin demands a verbal confirmation.
“Is it true? Is she… Fuck,” I run my hand through my hair, “Is my sister alive?”
I feel a pair of eyes on me. My head spins around, my mind floats to where my gun is hidden. Around the corner of the back wall, there is a pair of grey eyes.
Lacey.
Watching. Always watching.
“I’m so sorry, Nix.”
My head spins around. There she is. Blue eyes, icy blonde hair, fidgeting… my sister. The one I’ve watched and dreamt of knowing since I was a kid.
“Come here, right now.”
I grab her and pull her into me.
“You look incredible.”
I feel her whole body soften into the hug.
“Thank you, Nix. You don’t know how much that means to me.”
She’s curvier than before, but still a gorgeous girl. All the same, I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable around me in any way.
We both pull away. Her eyes are shimmering. I can’t wrap my mind around this. This is nuts. I grab her arm and pull her closer.
“He fucking lost, sis,” I whisper in her ear.
She turns to me with a huge smile on her face. Eyes shining with pride and mischief.
“Hell yeah, and I told him so, too.”
“Did you?” I extend my fist. She pounds it. “Proud of you.”
Sven’s hand snakes around Rose’s waist. He looks like the happiest fucking man alive. Honestly, ew. I don’t even want to think about why that is.
“Well, can I come in?”
I turn just in time to see Lacey’s grey eyes disappear. I sigh. She doesn’t understand the politics. I go to the cops, Sage dies. Maybe Rod gets arrested, Aaron’s already in prison though. It wouldn’t take down his whole operation. Rod’s just one small man, and the love of my life would pay for it.
I’d never let that happen.
Never.
Rose looks to Sven, who nods.
“Yeah, come in.”
I notice the way he glances around before closing the door. My eyebrows furrow.
“Yo Sven, everything good around here?”
Rose looks at the ground, and sadness fills her eyes.
“Shit could be better,” Sven admits, glancing at Rose protectively.
“I’m pretty safe,” Rose says quietly.
The way she emphasizes the word “I’m” makes my shoulders fall.
“Fuck, Lacey.”
Sven stiffens. Not in a defensive way. In a way that says he is the mafia Underboss and I shouldn’t know this shit. I’ll ask Rose in private. Rose notices too, because we both silently agree to talk more later.
“Well, um, yeah, so I’m alive.”
“I don’t know if that’s your way of trying to get me out the door, but I’m not staying long.”
Sven snickers.
“No, that’s not what I meant! At all. I just, I feel awkward. This is kind of weird, no?”
“I think I’m in shock, sis.”
“I wish I was in shock.”
“So, I assume you’re staying because you’re trying to set shit straight with Lacey,” Sven cuts in.
“Yeah, I need to talk to her.”
“What happened between you two?”
Honesty’s the best policy here. Internal sigh.
“Lacey’s upset because I knew it was Rod who shot you and I didn’t go to the cops.”
“Oh.” Rose’s face falls.
“You have to understand, and what I want to explain to her is that it’s not as simple as it sounds. Rod’s a small guy in Dad’s operation. So fucking small, sis. Okay, so I get him arrested. Dad’s already in prison running the whole thing. The show would go on. We can’t get him rearrested, and more importantly, your death was my punishment for trying to be free of all his shit. Imagine if I ratted on him. He’d kill Sage. Horrifically. Like he did the others. I love you Rose, really, but Sage has been to hell and back. I’d protect her with my life.”
“I understand.” I give her a skeptical look. “Don’t give me that look. I do. I love you too, but I wouldn’t rat out your killer if it was a risk to Lacey.”
Sven reaches behind and pinches her butt, hard. She yelps.
“Fuck you, Sven!”
His lip turns up. “What about me, baby? You’d turn in his killer if it risked my life?”
“First, don’t call me baby. I hate that. Second, you can handle yourself,” Rose grumbles. Now I’m full-on smiling.
“Come on, let’s let Sven work,” Rose continues. “I’ll take you to Lacey.”
Before I can agree or disagree, Sven grabs Rose and kisses her possessively. I’m cool at first, but Jesus…
“Okay, I’m her brother, not her suitor; this shit is gross.”
Rose scrambles away, but Sven chuckles and winks at me. Shithead.
“I really have to go before Boss has my head. See you two later.”
He throws a warning glare at me, and walks off. The second he’s gone, Rose begins to fidget.
“Lacey, right?”
“Look, sis. I’m nothing but happy you’re alive. Weirder things have happened to me. I’m not mad at you. You’ve had your reasons for staying away so long. I get it. I know all about doing the wrong thing for the right reason.”
She winces. “I appreciate that. Okay, let’s get Lacey. Follow me. She was eating when I left. I bet she’s still there. She’s a slow eater.”
; I bet she is in there, because that’s close and she had time to pop her head in here to watch me when I got here. I follow Rose out the door and through the hallway. I can’t believe she’s here, and I’m here. This is… like deja vu.
“How are you and Sven?”
She spins around and sighs, walking backward. Her hands fly up and back down.
“I give up with that man. I just… give up.”
“So you love him and never want to leave him again?”
What is intended as a teasing smile comes out completely genuine. I’m so glad she has what I have with Sage. Even if Sven’s an arrogant criminal nut, he loves her. He’d protect her with his life, and do anything for her. They have love. When you find love, you don’t give it up. Bottom line.
“Yeah, pretty much. He wins.”
“I think you do too, sis.”
She softens and smiles. “Yeah, I’m beginning to think you’re right.”
Rose pokes her head in, then back out. “She’s there. You go in. I’m gonna go find Maria. I’ll be back. I think you two need to do this alone.”
“Agreed,” I nod.
“Alright,” she smiles a bit. “It’s good to see you, Nix. Thanks for being so understanding.”
I pull her in for a hug. “I get it. It’s damn good you’re alive. I feel so much better. Thanks for not making me wait any longer.”
She gives me a look that’s a cross between a wince and a smile.
“I’m an awful person.”
Before I can argue that that is most definitely not the case, she’s running off. I’m sure she’s still trying to come to terms with seeing me as well. I allow a sigh of my own before walking into the dining room, where Lacey is seated, pretending to eat cereal. Waiting for me. Glaring at me, watching me, from under her mess of hair.
“Hey, kid.”
Time to settle this.
Boss
“Months. It’s been fucking months, with nothing,” I snarl, pacing the floor. Sven’s tense. All my men are. Everyone knows I don’t like making the first move. I prefer defense over offense, but it may come to that.
“We need to regroup. New tactic,” Sven says, muscles in his jaw ticking.
“Great, care to share? Unless you have something to add, keep your mouth shut.”
I see Sven’s desire to roll his eyes, but he holds back. Since the day I took Rose out from under him and shot her, foiling his plan, he’s been compliant. Perfect, actually. I just hope it lasts. I don’t have energy for it anymore. It’d be another fucked up situation. I pray to God he knows that. With Rose clinging to him like a life raft, I very much doubt he’ll pull anything.
