"Well now, tell it like it is why don't ya."
"I’ll make sure the cab is on the way. If you don't mind, I'd like to have a few minutes to regroup my thoughts you interrupted me from. If you weren't too busy checking out my ass you would have noticed I came here to be alone."
My hands go up with the palms facing her. "Whoa. Enough of that, precious. Don't be mad 'cause I tell it like I see it. If you leave now you'll be sorry in a few weeks. Trust me, I'm kind of a big deal."
"Even if I did believe you were someone special, I still wouldn't care. I didn't come here for a hookup. I came to get away from all the people like you. If you don’t mind, I’d really like to be alone.” Her contorted grimace tells me I’ve really hit a nerve with her. She’s definitely not from around here, otherwise I would already have her undivided attention.
Trying to come up with a witty comment seems like it will only do more harm than good. This chick isn’t worth the time wasted. She’s got a stick up her ass and I’m not interested in helping her get it out. “Your loss then.” It’s a shame too. I would have liked to explore every single creamy inch of that tempting skin.
When I head back to gather my board and pack up from lunch Max is waiting to give me a hard time. We slap hands as I’m shaking my head in defeat. “That’s a number I think I’ll pass on.”
“She’s a looker, man. Mind if I give it a go?”
This shouldn’t bother me, but for some reason it hits a nerve, and I don’t know why. She’s obviously upset about something and I probably made it worse. Now I feel bad for acting like an ass to get a rise out of her.
I glance in the direction of where she’s standing. Her arms are hugging the front of her chest and she’s back to staring out into the deep blue sea. For a second I wonder what she could be thinking about. She’s obviously got something serious on her mind, something I have no business asking. Seeing that she’d been crying only confirms my suspicions. “Max, I’m pretty sure that chick has teeth between her legs. You want it, go for it. Just be warned.” It’s better than saying I’m being sensitive to her feelings. I’d never hear the end of that one.
“Whoa. You’ve either laid claim or she’s the devil. Either way, I’m going to pass.”
A chortle follows the shaking of my head. It’s a first. Max doesn’t usually give up so easily, but something tells me this female would be a challenge he knows he won’t ever win.
Chapter 6
Miley
Just what I needed, some local surfer to get up in my shit about being on his turf. I should have known this tranquil place was too good to be true. Maybe his interrupting and being here stalled my plan. He’s just as handsome as I had envisioned the men on the island to be. I knew they’d be tan, their skin brushed with a natural sun-kissed bronze. I just didn’t think he’d turn around and be poster worthy. I’m not kidding. I’m pretty sure I could have covered every single inch of my thin bedroom walls with photographs of this beach hottie. His piercing blue-green eyes make it hard for me to focus on keeping up my tough demeanor. Those eyelashes, so long and curled make me envious. Don’t get me started on the way his matching dimples complement a set of full lips.
When he said something cocky he’d flash his bright white teeth at me and watch for a reaction. He was skilled, slick even. He knows exactly what he wanted, and I’m positive he’s used to getting it. Unfortunately, I’m too good at reading people to let his advances be anything more than entertaining. There were plenty of guys just like him in the trailer park I grew up at, and as an added bonus to my already stressed-to-the-max life, I made a promise to myself that I’d never stoop to that level, even if this could be my last day on earth with the most gorgeous man I’ve ever laid eyes on.
I smile when I imagine he was sent from heaven. Maybe Momma saw a chance to give me reasons to want to stay. I have to ignore those thoughts. My inner conscience is fighting me. Seeing this dude only proves I can easily get distracted from what I came here to do.
When I close my eyes and listen to the rolling waves crashing onto the shore, I can vividly imagine a scene playing out with me and this Baz guy. I’m positive it’s a fake name, but it’s unique and great for my overactive imagination. I picture us lying in the sand together, his strong hands drawing up my thighs. We’re alone, surrounded by nothing but nature. When he looks into my eyes I know he’s my reason to want to stay. In this vision we’re hopelessly in love and passionate about a future.
Just as fast as I see it in my mind my eyes flutter open to the sound of the two men talking from somewhere behind me.
Obviously, I’ve read one too many romance novels while in the hospital with my Momma. My daydreaming often takes me to places far from what my real life is like. Today is no different. I know in another life I could have had something real. If things were different I wouldn’t be here right now.
If only things were different.
I have to admit seeing the beautiful crystal clear water and the spectacular sight of the huge ocean before me is overwhelming. I don’t know why I pictured this being an easy task. I knew if I could make it out past my knees I’d eventually sink and it would all be over. I figured at some point all will be quiet with the world and the agony and mourning would finally fade into nothing. I no longer care about going to a special place in the sky. I’ve experienced more pain in my life than anyone ever should, always thinking eventually I catch a break. The break never happened. Instead I’ve been dealt with agonizing realities that are unfair for any person to endure. Before I had someone by my side, but now they’re all gone. Losing people the way I have has created a void. It’s like I’m living my life forced to dwell in a black hole. There’s no reprieve. Even my dreams torment me.
Then there’s the Michael ordeal. How could I have not seen it? Was I so blinded by my own drama that I didn’t notice he wasn’t into me? Was he able to lie to me for years without even a hint of who he really was? My life is all some made up façade. He pitied me, which only makes me pity myself.
I hate admitting it, but I’m tired of feeling this way. I’m tired of everything. All. Of. It.
Usually I’m not so rude, but I’m at the end of my rope. I’ve had enough and know I’m the only person who can make a change. Giving up wasn’t the first option, but it is the end result. There’s not one reason why I need to keep going, yet there’s a thousand more why it’s time to say goodbye.
I’ve tried to be the best person I know how to be. I’ve done everything in my power to overcome every obstacle. I’ve fought my heart and my mind. I’ve begged my inner soul to give me a chance, battled demons that pulled my world apart, and got nothing but negativity in return.
I’m not a quitter. I’m just exhausted. I’m sick and tired of feeling hopeless.
As I stand and peer out at the blue abyss I wonder if those two guys are watching me. I know they haven’t left, and it feels like their eyes are burning holes in my back, yet I refuse to turn around and check. I can’t let them distract me. In order for me to see this through I need my mind at ease. I need to forgive myself for all my wrongs, and let go of the hate I can’t seem to shake. Then, and only then, will I finally be at peace.
Chapter 7
Baz
We no sooner get in the water when a truck pulls in next to Max’s. Thinking it’s a ride for the mystery chick, I go about catching another wave without a second glance. Max follows behind me and I soon find him paddling to shore. Then I recognize the female as a fellow surfer he likes to hook up with on occasion. She holds up a plastic bag full of something green and Max goes to her like she’s holding a magnet. He starts waving me in, and reluctantly I chase after him.
Mika stands on the beach shoeless in a low cut tank top with a bikini underneath. She’s wearing a pair of cutoff jean shorts that barely cover her ass. Her long bleach blonde hair blows in the wind, and I catch her rolling her brown eyes as I get closer. “Don’t tell me we have to bring him along,” she teases while pointing at me.
“Shut up, Mika. I don’t want none of what you’re offering.” I make it a point to look her over, suggesting she’s worn out. “None of it.”
She flashes me an annoyed frown. “You wish.”
“Yo, man,” Max interrupts. “How ‘bout we call it a day? We’ve managed to get a lot done so far. The waves were sick this morning.”
“You just want to get laid. I get it. Don’t go rubbing it in.”
“We were being discreet,” Mika mentions.
I chuckle. “Yeah, real discreet. You show up looking like that holding up enough herb to last a whole weekend. Discreet my ass.”
She flips her hair around while giggling. “Fine. I thought Max might need some persuading.”
Max slaps her on the ass. “Don’t worry. I’m ready to bounce.”
I could say something and get his ass in trouble, but honestly I’m not too sure Mika would care. Knowing her, Max is just the flavor of the day. Casual is the key with most of my friends. Unfortunately, I have a habit of getting addicted to things, and the more I enjoy them, the harder they are to give up.
I watch my friend slipping off his wetsuit. Mika stares, as if she hasn’t seen every part of him. Since I’ve been in the same room as them when they were getting freaky, I know it’s not true. Without giving an explanation I begin to head back in the direction of the ocean. I’ve wasted enough time with these horny fools, and even more with the chick that still hasn’t left. She’s parked herself back down in the sand, staring out like she was before. Hesitantly, I remind myself that this isn’t my beach. Just because it’s our little secret spot doesn’t mean locals aren’t aware it’s here. She’s not bothering me, not really. It shouldn’t be as much as a distraction as it is.
Max is running up beside me before my feet hit the water. “Hold up, dude. I don’t want to leave if you’re still messing around out there. Those moves are too intense, man. Give it a break and we’ll work on it in the morning.”
I turn and smirk. “Go get your dick wet. I’ll be fine, bro. I won’t do anything crazy, just catch one more good swell then I’ll be home.” When I mention being home it’s not exactly to his house. I’m currently living out of a room in the back of the surf shop. It’s not anything spectacular, but it’s good enough for me, and I’m grateful. I have a roof over my head, a real bed to sleep in, and even a small bathroom to get the salty water rinsed from my skin every day. In return I’m never late for work, and can afford the upkeep on my boards.
“If you’re not back in an hour I’m going to kick your ass,” he warns.
I’m laughing when he begins his hike up the beach toward Mika. “Make sure you leave the keys to the Jeep. Catch you later, dude.”
The music is cranked to the max, base popping so loud it vibrates off my eardrums, and then finally fades away. Once they’re gone my senses focus in on the crashing waves and the familiar sounds of the captivating sea.
Ignoring everything around me, I paddle out to the lull and sit on my board waiting for the right swell. The shore is a good five-hundred yards from where I sit, but I’m certain that mystery female is crying. Her hands are covering her face and her body begins shaking. I stare, just to make sure I’m not imagining all of this. She’s distanced enough the waves could be making it seem like she’s weeping when she’s really just sitting still, but it doesn’t explain why her face is being covered, or the real reason she asked to be somewhere private and secluded.
Her hands come down and I swear for a second we make eye contact. For some reason I feel the need to impress her, at least to distract whatever demons are haunting her. I’ve been in bad places in my life. I’ve hurt people and blamed myself for them walking away. It easy to relate to someone who is struggling. Determined to give her a show, I wait for a wave that will provide a heavy pipeline and forge full speed with the current. This is a set of two waves simultaneously. I count in my head the amount of seconds it will take me to hit the peak and approximate my lift. As soon as my feet hit the board, I steady my balance and take off into the barrel. Nothing compares to the feeling, the actual high of being able to glide through the inside of a beast wave. The spectacular achievement and glorification is undeniable. By the time I reach the shallow end, the remnants of the second swell are pushing me to the shoreline. I do a quick spin on the board before stepping off.
When I turn to make sure the chick was watching, I find her gone from where she’d been sitting. Scanning the beach, I discover it deserted. Since I made a promise to Max that I’d only ride one more time, I walk up the beach toward the Jeep. Despite still being out of breath I run the rest of the way until I’m at the back. I’ve no sooner pulled out a bottle of water when I glance back at the ocean. A loud wave pounds against the sea bottom vibrating the ground. The tide is changing, and I’m glad I’ve decided to call it a night.
Then something catches my eye. Her arms are spread as she takes steps into the water until she’s out so far she can barely touch.
“Hey!” I call out, wondering if maybe she lied about being able to swim.
I pull the leash to my board and head in her direction. Something is off. She won’t even acknowledge I’m speaking to her. “Hey you in the water? Hello?”
I take a few steps forward and watch in dismay as her head disappears just as another ripple of waves crash down turning to foam.
I scan the area waiting for her to pop out laughing. Seconds pass. My heart pounds as I’m stricken with worry. Something feels wrong. She was crying and now she’s out in the water alone. Without even considering this could be some kind of deluded prank, I amble into the water with my board still connected. Using it to help cut through the waves and current, I turtle dive into the hallow curls until I’m through the first set of dangerous swells. With my head above water I scan the area. The clear water is obstructed from the rough breaking waves. Suddenly I get a hint of the color of her bikini top and start swimming at full speed. In this moment I’m not paying attention to the breakers and the danger I’m putting myself in. Right now my adrenaline is guiding me to save this woman before it’s too late.
The ocean can be a tricky place to find things, even if they’re within your view seconds before. I go under and scan the vicinity until the salty water burns too much. A wave crashes and as it begins to foam up I get a glance of her floating hair. Then I’m on it. As I narrow in I see her struggling. She’s trying to get above water, but instead of using her limbs together, her panicked state is making her sink. Going against the current, I dive down and take a hold of her arm, then I use all my strength to paddle us further into the body of water to ensure we’re out of harm’s way. I need to make sure she’s still breathing and strapped to my board so I can safely paddle us both in, otherwise she’s going to be like pulling dead weight.
With half of her body on the board I start yelling. “Can you hear me? Say something.”
She’s choking up salt water, gasping, but I know in that moment she’s okay. I unfasten the leash and get it hooked to this female before looking her in the eyes. “I need you to hold onto this board. I’m going to push us to the shore okay?” When she doesn’t answer I repeat myself. “I need you to tell me you understand.”
She nods.
“Good. Don’t kick. Just try to hold on. It’s rough out here and I might have to push you along. Are you ready?”
Even though the water is warm her lips are trembling. This chick may be conscious, but she’s not very coherent. She’s crying and slipping as she tries to steady herself on the board.
Turning around, I study the incoming swells and count. I’ve done this before. It’ll be simple. We’ll coast into shore using the power of a breaking wave. I’ll time it so we can both make it in safely. Then I’ll get this girl some help and get the hell away from her.
I start kicking my feet to make some distance, but she starts to let go. At this point I’m frustrated. I’m trying to help this chick and she’s not cooperating. The thing about a clear ocean is
that the depth looks a lot closer than things actually are. I dip my arms down but come up with nothing. She’s still fastened to the board, not that it’s holding her above water. Taking another attempt, I dive lower and catch the underneath of her upper arm. This time when I pull her onto the board she’s gagging and screaming, her words telling her whole story. “Just let me go. Let me die.”
She’s pinching and scratching me to let her sink back down, but I’m holding her closer to my body this time.
“Look you crazy bitch, I’m trying to save your life. You’re not dying on my watch.”
We continue to fight for control when the next set of waves drive toward us. I guide the board while pulling her along under my opposite arm, but when I realize the commotion has caused me to miscalculate the break, I know it’s too late. Since I’m trained to hold my breath under water for long periods of time, I give the board a heavy push and watch as she shoots out in front of it heading for the shore. Only seconds later I’m overpowered by the force of the ocean barreling down on me. After enduring my first take down I shoot for the surface to catch my breath, only to succumb to another set of crippling waves. I’ve barely broke the surface and spotted the bright sky when I’m pounced by the full impact of the lip from the third and largest wave of the set. All of my breath is knocked out of me, and I’m being whipped around under water. I nearly lose consciousness at this point and am again driven deep, where I’m subjected to a more furious beating. As the pressure in my head starts to become unbearable, I feel the first stab of the ocean floor breaking the brunt of my fall. The coral rips into my side, tearing my wetsuit like it was made from thin fabric. I can feel the sting as something penetrates my skin and focus the remainder of my energy on facing my body toward the surface and using my legs to push off the sea floor.
I’m trying my hardest to get to the surface as the force of the wave begins to subdue me again. I make it a few more feet before the next wave crashes overhead, shooting me back down into the hard coral. As this pounding starts to subside, I begin climbing again, desperate to get air into my lungs before passing out. I make it halfway before I’m restrained in the turbulent, aerated water one more time. Then my body rolls. It happens so fast. I’m spinning around, beaten against the hard seafloor until I go headfirst. There’s no pain when my skull strikes a hard rock formation, but I hear a crack before everything goes black.
Wave Page 3
