by E. L. Todd
She pulled her hand away. “Just go.”
“No,” he said. “I’m not leaving until you believe me.”
“Then give me some proof! I’ve already made it clear that your word means nothing to me.”
“That isn’t fair,” he said. “I don’t have proof. But I shouldn’t need it. If I really didn’t care about you, I wouldn’t be working this fucking hard to get you back.”
She placed her hands on her hips. “Being with you is the worst mistake I ever made.”
“No, it isn’t. Going back to Paul was.”
“I love and trust Paul. You, on the other hand, are a complete enigma. I can’t start a life with someone I don’t have any faith in.”
He locked his gaze with hers. “Alexandra, you know me better than anyone. You know I wouldn’t do anything to ever hurt you.”
“But you—”
“Forget about that you saw or think you saw. Think about every conversation we ever had, every time we kissed, every time we made love. That was as real to me as it was to you. You don’t love Paul, at least not in the way you love me. You should be with me. Period.”
She stepped away. “You should go.”
“I can’t until you believe me. If you knew I was telling the truth, but you still picked Paul, I would accept that. But you don’t. And that makes a problem for both us. I can’t sacrifice what may have been because I’m condemned of doing something that I didn’t. I’m a victim in this.”
Alexandra crossed her arms over her chest. “Blaise, unless Danielle tells me the truth, I’ll never believe you.”
“And that’s the one thing I don’t have.”
“Isn’t that convenient?” she said bitterly.
Blaise gripped his hair. “Alexandra, don’t be this way.”
“I’m trying to start my life again. I love Paul. He’s wonderful and he makes me happy. I love his family. I love his friends. I love how easy it is with him. But you keep ruining that.”
He shook his head. “You should never be with someone out of convenience. I’m the love of your life. I may not have all the security he has, a past relationship to give you comfort, but I’m the one you want. We can make a family that you want. We can live anywhere you want. I’ll give you whatever you want to make this work. Name it and I’ll do it.”
“Go back in time and don’t cheat on me.”
Blaise paced around the room, the anger in his shoulders and his arms.
“Blaise, I love Paul and I want to be with him, not you. Please don’t ever bother me again about this.”
“I can’t just let you go.”
“Unless you have Danielle to prove your story, don’t ever bring this up again. If you do, I’ll tell Paul to handle it.”
He laughed. “You think I’m scared of him?”
“And I’ll make sure you never find me again.”
He shook his head. “This isn’t fair.”
“No it isn’t,” she said simply. “I need to move on and be happy with Paul. So please don’t bother me again. Every time I talk to you, I have to start all over again.”
“And I wonder why,” he said sarcastically.
“Get out of my life. And stay there.”
He stared her down. “I’ve done everything I can to make you see the truth.”
“And that isn’t enough for me.”
“Then I give up.” His eyes held a sad defeat. “I officially give up. Have a wonderful life with Paul. I guess we can just pretend that this thing between isn’t real. I’ll move on with someone and pretend they are what I want. You’ll marry Paul and wish your relationship had the lightness, romance, and passion ours had. And for the rest of our lives, we’ll remember each other, but never have the courage to put aside our differences and make it work.”
She felt her heart clench painfully at his words.
“Sounds good to me.” He left Abby’s apartment, not closing the door behind him.
Chapter Thirteen
Alexandra went to central park and sat on a park bench. The sun still appeared through the clouds and lit the sidewalk. Couples were walking hand-in-hand, and school children were laughing while they played catch in the nearby field. The tears stopped falling minutes ago, but she was still depressed.
Her phone kept ringing in her purse but she didn’t answer it. When it went off for the twentieth time, she sighed then answered it. “Just leave me alone.”
“Where are you?” Abby asked.
“Don’t call me again.”
“Don’t you dare hang up on me,” she snapped. “I’ll just go to Paul’s and wait for you there.”
Alexandra sighed. “I’m at the park.”
“Next to the willow tree?”
Alexandra and Abby used to meet there for lunch between their classes. It was a routine they did all through college. “Yeah.”
Abby hung up.
A half an hour later, Abby walked down the path and took the seat next to her. They both stared at the landscape in silence. Abby crossed her legs then uncrossed them. “I’m sorry, okay?”
“You’re the one person I can trust no matter what. Why would you risk that?”
“You can trust me to always do what’s best for you. I couldn’t care less if it pisses you off. That’s the only thing you can rely on.”
“Good to know,” Alexandra said sarcastically.
“Alex, stop being a brat.”
“Me?” she said incredulously. “Why would you bring him here?”
“I didn’t. He showed up on my doorstep and begged me to help. How could I turn him away? You’ve seen that look on his face.”
Alexandra rubbed her fingertips together. “You should have slammed the door in his face. “
Abby turned to her. “What’s really going on, Alex?”
“What does that mean?”
“Blaise seems sincere. I can’t imagine a guy would go to such lengths just to vindicate himself unless he was really innocent.”
Alexandra shook her head. “But there’s no guarantee.”
“Paul kissed someone. How do you know he didn’t fuck her too?”
She swallowed the lump in her throat. “That’s the difference between them. Paul would never lie to me. I actually trust him. With Blaise, there is no trust.”
Abby sighed. “Maybe you should think about this…”
“What?” Alexandra said. “I thought you liked Paul?”
“No, I fucking love Paul. I think he’s an awesome guy. But if you don’t think that, you’re just wasting your time.”
“Of course I think that.”
Abby stared at an older woman walking her dog. They were both silent as they waited for the lady to pass. “How’d it go last night?”
“What?”
“Fucking Paul.”
Alexandra averted her gaze. “It never happened.”
Abby’s eyes widened. “You changed your mind?”
“We were—about to—and I just couldn’t go through with it.”
“And why is that, Alexandra?”
Alexandra recognized the tone in her voice. “I think that answer is pretty obvious.”
“If you love this guy so much, give him another chance.”
“No,” Alexandra snapped. “I want Paul. I want to be with Paul.”
“You’re just forcing it!” Abby glared at her. “Just take the risk with Blaise. If it doesn’t work out, I’m sure Paul will take you back in a heartbeat.”
“No. I don’t need to date Blaise to understand exactly what would happen. Forget it.”
Abby sighed. “You didn’t find your first boyfriend until college.”
Alexandra raised an eyebrow. “What’s your point?”
“It took you twenty years until you found someone you really liked. You waited an entire year until you lost your virginity.”
“I’m not a slut like you. That’s why,” Alexandra said.
“But as soon as you moved to Georgia, it was love at first sight with Blai
se. You couldn’t explain it, but you knew how you felt.”
“No,” Alexandra said. “I was depressed and out of my mind.”
“No,” Abby snapped. “You fell in love with him. And you know why?”
“This conversation is over.”
“Because he’s the one, Alex.”
“No, he isn’t.”
Abby rolled her eyes. “You are in denial. You’re hoping if you try hard enough, you can fall in love with Paul again and go back to what you were before you met Blaise. I’ll save you some time. It will never be what it was. Blaise will always be in the back of your mind.”
“That isn’t true.”
“Yes, it is.”
“No!” Alexandra gripped her hands together. “I want to be with someone who doesn’t hurt me. I want to be with someone I love and trust.”
“Well, I have news for you,” Abby said simply. “It doesn’t matter what relationship you are in. You will get hurt. You may as well accept it. And if that’s why you are choosing Paul, then it’s a stupid reason.”
“I do love Paul,” Alexandra said quietly. “I do. Please don’t doubt that.”
Abby gave her a sympathetic look. “I know you do, Alex. I know.”
“So please stop talking about this.”
“You are really willing to let Blaise go? The love of your life?”
Alexandra looked across the field and saw the grass sway slightly in the wind. Flowers blossomed around the trees, and a few weeds shined through. “I already did.”
Abby sighed. “I don’t know what more I can do. I hate to watch you make the biggest mistake of your life, but I guess I’ll have to.”
“I’ll eventually forget about Blaise and I’ll be happy with Paul. He won’t enter my mind and I’ll never think about him. That’s when I’ll know I made the right decision.”
Abby shook her head. “If you say so.”
Alexandra grabbed her purse then left the park bench. “Bye.”
Abby watched her go without saying anything.
When Alex came back to the apartment, she didn’t know what to do with herself, so she cleaned. All the counters were spotless, and all the floors were shiny with cleanliness. But she needed to keep herself busy so she wouldn’t break down.
She had no idea what to do about Paul. After the horrible fight they had, the last thing they needed for their relationship was Blaise’s visit. Paul would be livid, angry enough to travel back to Georgia to kill him. But she didn’t think she could hide it from him. Just one look at her face would tell him something was bothering her. And she hated lying.
Paul’s favorite food was Italian, so she made him lasagna with grilled vegetables. He preferred not to eat red meat so she didn’t buy any from the store. But she didn’t mind his diet preferences.
When he came home, he dropped his briefcase and loosened his tie like he did every day. His entrance was always a routine. She usually grabbed his coat and tie and hung them, but today she couldn’t look at him.
He came behind her then kissed her neck. “Hey, baby.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat. “How was your day?”
Paul sighed. “Let’s just say I’m excited for my dad to come back.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
He waited for her to turn around but she never did. “Why won’t you look at me?”
Slowly, she faced him.
Paul stared into her face for a moment, his eyes lingering on the lines in her jaw and lips. “What is it?”
She looked away again. “I don’t want to say…”
His eyes widened. “That’s too damn bad because you’re going to tell me.”
“I don’t want you to be angry.”
“I’m liking this less and less.”
“I saw Blaise.”
Paul rubbed his chin. “Where?”
“Abby’s.”
He crossed his arms over his chest then raised an eyebrow. “What? Why?”
“She asked me to come over, and when I did Blaise was there. He said he wanted to talk.”
“About what?”
She shrugged. “The same thing we’ve been talking about.”
“Wow,” Paul said. “That guy doesn’t give up, does he?”
Alexandra hugged her waist.
“I’ll take care of it. He won’t bother you anymore.”
“Paul, that’s exactly why I didn’t want to tell you.”
His eyes were burning with anger. “I don’t want him to bother you anymore. I see the aftermath of his presence in your life. All he does is cause you pain. It needs to end.”
“He said he finally gave up.”
“And you believe him?”
She nodded.
“And he just wanted to win you back?”
“He says he and I belong together, and I should believe him. He doesn’t need any proof.”
Paul moved to the table then sat down. “Alex, do you want to be with him?”
“What?” She stepped toward him. “No.”
He stared her down. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
Paul rested his arm on the table then rubbed the back of his neck. “Maybe this relationship is moving too fast.”
She felt her heart race. “What are you saying?”
“If you need your space, you can have it.”
Alexandra processed his words. “You want to break up?”
“Not at all,” he said. “But—I think you do.”
She moved to his lap then pressed her forehead against his. “I love you.”
Paul ran his hands up and down her thighs. “I love you too.”
“I’m sorry about everything. I know you hate settling for half my heart.”
“I just wanted to make sure I had half of it.”
Alexandra rubbed her nose against his. “And you’ll have all of it eventually.”
His hand moved up her back and massaged her skin. “Are you sure you don’t want me to talk to him?”
She nodded. “I think he got the message.”
“I’ll go back with you when you return just in case.”
“I’m not going back,” she whispered.
“What?”
“I’m not returning. I don’t ever want to see him again. I want to move on with my life and start over. I can’t do that if I see him all the time.”
Paul nodded. “That makes sense. What about Martha?”
“I don’t know…”
“We can always move into a bigger apartment. She’s welcome here.”
Alexandra shook her head. “She would never agree to that.”
“Then what do we do?”
“Blaise will take care of her. I know he will.”
“Are you okay with that?” Paul asked.
“I don’t have a choice.”
Chapter Fourteen
Jasmine twirled her hair in her finger. “I’ve always wanted to be a hairdresser. I just think it would be something I’m good at, you know?” She smiled then ran her fingers through her long blonde hair. “Hair styling is just natural for me. I’ve been doing it since I was little. When my little sister went to her prom, I was the one who did her hair. I’ve applied to a few places but…”
Blaise drank from his beer and ignored everything she said. She rambled on and on about random things. He wasn’t sure how he even got into this position. He drank from his beer again. When his mind started to wander to Alexandra, his heart throbbed in his chest. They were really over. And now he had to move on with someone else. But there was no one that meant anything to him, who would ever mean anything to him. But Blaise knew he had to try.
“I prefer to curl my hair because it makes it more lustrous, but it’s so much work.” She rolled her eyes. “I have a million other things to do, you know? But I can’t just put it in a pony tail because that would just be ugly.”
“You want to get out of here,” he blurted.
She smiled. “Sure. What did you have in mi
nd?”
“Have you seen my country house?”
She twirled her hair again. “No, but I’ve heard good things.”
“Then let’s go, Janet.”
“It’s Jasmine,” she corrected.
“Whatever.” He put his cash on the table then left the bar. She followed behind him until they got outside. “This is my truck.” He used to put Alexandra in the passenger seat, but he refused to do that for someone else.
Kane stood in the tailgate and stared at them. When Jasmine approached the door, he growled.
“Down, boy.”
He growled again.
Jasmine eyed him fearfully. “Isn’t he friendly?”
Blaise ignored her.
“Cunnings.”
Blaise turned at the sound of his name. Evan was standing on the walkway, a stupid smirk on his face.
“How’s Danielle?”
Blaise felt the anger shoot up his arm. He marched toward him. “She and I aren’t together, obviously.” He nodded toward Jasmine. “She’s staying at her parents place. She’s all yours.”
Evan crossed his arms over his chest. “Wow. She pissed you off.”
“It seems that way.” Blaise turned away.
“Actually, I don’t care about Danielle anymore.”
That just irritated Blaise. If he didn’t have to protect Danielle for the past year, he could have Alexandra at this very moment. She’d be sleeping in his bed tonight. “Good for you,” he said through his clenched jaw.
“I’m more interested in that local hero, Alex.”
Blaise felt the adrenaline kick in. He glared at Evan. “What?”
Evan’s smile got bigger. “She’s obviously the person you care most about.”
Now Blaise understand what was happening. Evan never wanted revenge from Danielle. He wanted it from Blaise. “She and I were never together. And she doesn’t even live here anymore. And I couldn’t care less where she is. Now, if you excuse me, I need to get laid.”
Evan eyed him. “I’m sure.”
Blaise turned back to the truck and got inside. When they drove back to his house, Jasmine kept talking the entire way. She asked about Evan and their conversation, but Blaise stayed quiet. When he didn’t answer, she started talking about her dream to be a hairdresser. Blaise knew this was a bad decision. He wanted to fuck someone and get over Alexandra. It didn’t matter who it was because he just wanted to get it over with.
