by Anna Antonia
“She just went to sleep about an hour ago. I can get her up if you want.”
“Ah, no. I’ll…I mean…we’ll go to her room.”
Kathy’s gaze bounced between the two of them once. “Oh, okay. Can I offer you a drink first, Adrian?”
He smiled and declined.
“We’ll just be in her room then.” Victoria headed for the stairs. Adrian was right on her heels. The moment was upon them and Victoria wondered what he would do next.
She stopped right when they reached the door to Adriana’s playroom. It used to be her room once upon a time.
“What’s wrong?”
The terse whisper did little to put Victoria at ease. “I just want to warn you that it’s better if we don’t wake her up before she’s ready. Adriana is a little fussy after her nap. I mean, she’s usually very sweet all the time except when it comes to her sleep.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
She dared to look at him. “I just don’t want you to judge her badly if your first experience with Adriana isn’t…” Victoria’s voice trailed off as she struggled to find the right words.
Adrian’s face lost its hard expression for the first time alone with her since he picked up Adriana’s picture that morning. “Victoria, that little girl is my daughter. There is nothing she can do that can make me not love her.”
“You really mean that?”
“Of course. I already love her. I’ve loved her since I first heard she was mine.”
Happiness lit Victoria from within. Her shoulders lost most of their tension. “I’m so glad to hear that, Adrian. You have no idea how much your words mean to me.”
Adrian cleared his throat. “Well, you’re welcome. I guess.”
Victoria resisted the urge to throw her arms around him in a huge hug. Adrian may have thawed a tiny bit, but now was not the time to push his goodwill.
“Are you ready?”
“Absolutely.”
Victoria opened the door and stepped in. Her voice dropped to a whisper when she spotted the canopied twin bed. “There she is.”
***
Adrian wasn’t sure if the world had stopped spinning or not. All he knew was that time had ground to a halt. He’d already taken the room in with one glance. White walls adorned with pink and turquoise stripes and gold polka dots pronounced the room as belonging to a little girl who was especially loved and adored. Artwork hung low on the walls, clipped to a string that surrounded three sides.
There was also a tiny stove in the corner and padded rocking horse adorned with a jeweled horn decorated with glittery stickers. Adrian noted a pile of tulle skirts in a large, woven basket along with a table strewn with colorful bits of paper, yarn, and glue.
But what drew his attention most of all was the small, dark head barely peeping over the top of a fuchsia comforter. It was his daughter. His and Victoria’s.
Adrian found his feet seemed to be stuck to the floor. He couldn’t take a step forward even though he wanted to more than anything in the world. Victoria left his side.
“Where are you going?”
She didn’t answer his terse whisper. She simply picked up two little chairs and placed them by the bed. Adrian looked at them and then her. “You seriously don’t expect me to sit in that, do you? I’ll break it the moment I sit on it.”
She smiled, genuine and carefree for the first time since they left his penthouse. The memories crowded him. He tried his best to push them away.
“They’re very sturdy. I promise.”
Adrian went over to it and gingerly sat down on the edge, ready at the first creak to stand up. The hard plastic held firm.
“I do this a lot,” she confided in a low whisper after she sat down.
“What?”
“Watch her.” Victoria leaned forward and stroked their daughter’s back. “I didn’t know I could love anybody more than you until I had her.”
Emotion caught in his throat. Regret, sadness, and bitterness all vied to be the reigning feeling. Adrian swallowed them down. It would be obscene to voice anything ugly here in this room.
“I would’ve liked to have been there. I would’ve liked to have seen her born.”
“Me too.” She looked over at him for too-brief a moment. “I mean it when I say I really wish I could’ve done it all so differently, Adrian. It’s a regret I’ll carry for the rest of my life.”
Adrian didn’t care for the sympathetic flicker he felt for Victoria. He especially didn’t care for the urge he had to hug her to him and tell her it was going to be okay. Instead, he held onto his resentment like an emotional miser.
“I don’t even know her birthday.”
“Adriana was born at 12:07 am on February 12. I have pictures and video…although you probably won’t want a copy of that.”
“I do. I want everything you have.”
“Okay. I can get them for you.”
“Good.” Adrian kept himself from saying “Make it soon!” when he caught the silver track running down her cheek. He clenched his jaw tightly.
I have nothing to feel guilty for. Victoria brought this all on herself. If she hadn’t lied to me for four years, none of this would be happening.
Victoria wiped her eyes and sniffled before regaining her composure. She didn’t turn to him for comfort and he perversely hated it. His fingers itched to touch her. Adrian curled his hand into a fist before relaxing it.
She made her choices and I’ve made mine. Now we’ll both have to live with them.
Separated by the wrongs of the past, but forever connected because of the sleeping girl, they continued to sit there, wrapped in their own thoughts, when the little bundle suddenly turned on her side and opened her eyes.
“Mommy!”
Adrian watched, transfixed, as Victoria changed right before him. Her lovely face broke into a wide, gentle smile as she stood up and crooned, “Hi, baby pumpkin.”
“Hi, Mommy! You and Grammie said you’d be home in one more sleep-again. It’s not the nighttime sleep-again.”
“I got back early.”
Adriana sprang to her feet and launched herself into Victoria’s arms. “Mommy, I missed you. I drew you a picture. Do want to see?” She wiggled to get down and took one step to her table before freezing.
Adrian’s heart squeezed when he looked into his daughter’s eyes. Eyes that were identical his, including the long thick lashes. She had on a purple t-shirt with a fluffy, pink rabbit on it and a pair of sunshine-yellow leggings. Adriana was adorable and his.
He wanted to pick her up and hug her forever. Instead, he had to stand there and watch while she sidled away and took safety behind Victoria’s legs.
“Mommy?”
Victoria reached down and put her arm around Adriana. “It’s okay, pumpkin. This is someone Mommy used to know a long time ago.”
Her answer seemed to put Adriana at ease. “Before I was a baby?”
“Yes. Before you were a baby.”
Adrian kept still, helpless but to trust a woman who’d shown herself untrustworthy. Watching their easy and familiar interaction, he was glad Victoria was here to smooth the way. He hadn’t the faintest idea of how to talk to small children.
But I’ll learn.
“Why’s he here, Mommy?”
“Because he wanted to meet you.”
Adriana peeked around her mother’s leg again. Her whisper easily carried to him. “But, Mommy, who is he?”
Adrian looked up towards Victoria. Her gaze asked him to stay his peace and wait. Before seeing and hearing the beautiful little angel their love had produced, Adrian might’ve seized control and dictated the terms of Victoria’s surrender.
Now he knew without a doubt there was no way he’d risk hurting Adriana. His pride wasn’t worth it. So he would wait and follow Victoria’s lead. No matter what. Even if that meant delaying the news. Even if that meant temporarily setting aside his plans for vengeance against Victoria.
But I definitely wo
n’t let her know that.
Victoria picked up their daughter and sat down on the bed, keeping Adriana nestled in her arms. She smiled and began.
“Remember how we talked about families before? How people can have different families with one mommy, or one daddy, or a mommy and a daddy, or a mommy and a mommy—”
“Or a daddy and a daddy?”
“That’s right. Do you remember what I told you about your daddy?”
Adriana’s small brow furrowed. “You said he lived in a big, big city and was very busy working.”
“That’s right.”
Adrian’s heart took on deep, nerve-wracking thumps. Until this moment he never imagined that Adriana would’ve wondered about him, much less asked. For her to think even for one second that he’d been too busy to bother himself with her…
Anger at Victoria spiked dangerously high again.
“Well, baby, I saw your daddy on my trip and told him all about you.”
“You did?” Adriana’s grinned and leaned forward excitedly. “Did you tell him about my school and when we went on the train and the flippies I learned to do at karate?”
Victoria shook her head. “I didn’t tell him those parts.”
“Why not?”
“I saved it so you could tell him.”
Adriana scooted closer and bounced in visible excitement. “I can tell him? I can see my daddy?”
“Yes, baby. You can tell him.”
“When?”
Victoria looked at him meaningfully. Adrian’s hands dampened. He swallowed, and nodded.
“How about today?” When their daughter nodded and squealed in excitement, Victoria smiled. “Good. Now let me tell you about my friend here. He’s your friend too.”
“He is?” Adriana peeked at Adrian, shy but curious. “But I don’t know him, Mommy.”
Once again, Adrian felt disbelief crowd his soul over the injustice Victoria’s silence had created for them both. For Adriana to ever say those words about him, about her own father made Adrian want to cry.
As if she could sense his volatile emotions, Victoria inhaled quickly and plunged ahead. “He’s your friend too, baby, because he’s your daddy.”
Adriana’s rosebud mouth opened. Her tiny rush of air somehow managed to fill the room.
“That’s my daddy?”
Victoria’s gentle voice warbled. “Yes, baby pumpkin. That’s your daddy and he’s flown on an airplane all this way to see you.”
Adriana’s smile of delight and awe faded. She looked up at her mother in worry. “Why are you crying, Mommy?”
Adrian didn’t like the uncertainty on her tiny face. It made him feel even more determined that in order to keep his daughter happy, he had to keep her mother happy as well. Adrian didn’t know exactly how to do that when he was still so blisteringly mad at Victoria.
But solving impossible problems is what I do best. I will solve this one too.
Victoria hugged their daughter tightly. “I’m just so happy that you can see your daddy.”
Adriana squeezed her back and then asked in another loud whisper, “Can I talk to him now, Mommy? Is it okay?”
“Sure!”
Adrian stared down at their sweet girl with bated breath. This was the moment he’d been waiting for as soon as he learned of her existence.
The first words we’re about to speak are extremely important. What should I say and how should I say it? Should I smile and just let her talk to me or should I start the conversation? I don’t know the answer. I don’t know how to talk to my own child.
Damn you, Victoria, for doing this to us both.
Adriana wiggled off Victoria’s lap and scooted until she was at the edge of the bed. She looked at Adrian intently, seemingly studying his face before she said, “My name is Adriana Montford. What’s yours?”
***
Victoria saw the flash of pain go through Adrian’s eyes before he lowered his gaze. She winced, knowing this was just one of a thousand reminders they’d face because of her deception.
Adrian instantly covered his emotions with a beaming smile. “It’s very nice to meet you, Miss Adriana Montford. My name is Adrian Hawthorne.”
“That sounds like mine!”
“Did your mommy ever tell you she named you after me?”
“I think so…yes! She did. I forgot.” Adriana giggled and leaned forward, her hands on her legs. “Do you like kitties?”
Adrian’s gaze flicked over to Victoria before coming back to their little girl. “I love kitties.”
Victoria’s happiness ridiculously shot up. She wanted to believe Adrian was telling her he’d still find a way to love her after all.
Things will get better between us. Adrian won’t stay mad at me forever. I have to believe that or I won’t be able to make it.
“Me too! I have a kitty. I love kitties and baby dogs. I like birdies too. I saw a turtle once at the zoo. He was big and he didn’t move too much, but he opened his mouth big like this.” Adriana demonstrated, showing all her tiny teeth. “I liked him a lot. I want a big turtle like that. Do you have a big turtle?”
Adrian shook his head with a faint smile. “No, I don’t.”
“That’s okay. Maybe you can have one too when I get one.”
“When are you going to get one?”
“Mommy says I can have one when I grow up.”
“She did?”
“Yep.”
Adrian stared at her for a few seconds and Victoria could see the expression of overwhelming love in his eyes. “I have a present for you.”
“You do?”
He handed the paper bag to her by the handles. “Your mommy told me you liked things like this.”
Adriana took it from him, breathless with excitement as she peeked in the bag. She let out a happy cry and turned to Victoria to chirp, “My Daddy got me pretty paper, Mommy! See?”
Victoria dutifully leaned forward and looked in the bag. “I see that! It’s very pretty.”
“Your mommy got you some too, Adriana.”
She whirled back to him. “She did? Mommy you did?”
Victoria cast Adrian a grateful glance that he’d included her too. He didn’t return her gaze. Instead, he kept his attention on Adriana. “Yes, baby, I did.”
“Can I see, Mommy?”
Victoria picked up the bag by her feet and handed it to her daughter. She listened with amusement as Adriana crowed in triumph and then began regaling them both about her grand collage plans with “Mommy and Daddy’s best and most beautiful paper.”
Adrian didn’t tune her out. He sat there rapt with attention, hanging onto every word coming out their daughter’s mouth. Victoria’s personal grief eased back and gratefulness took the forefront.
He loves her like he said he did. No matter what happens between me and Adrian, I at least have that much to be grateful for.
Adriana abruptly stopped talking and went shy. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Anything.”
“Do you have any other babies like me?”
Victoria winced at the stricken look he couldn’t quite manage to hide. “No, Adriana. I don’t have any other babies. You’re my only little girl.”
She laughed. “Good!” Adriana turned to Victoria and said in a sing-song voice, “Mommy says she’s never going to have another baby but me. Maybe Daddy can have a baby sister for me so I can have one like Tracy at school.”
Victoria smiled, doing her best to tamp down the spurt of pain she felt at the idea of Adrian having children with someone else. “Only mommies can have babies, pumpkin.” She chanced looking over at Adrian, expecting his expression to be as indulgent as hers. The raw hunger in his gaze consumed her on the spot.
Her mouth grew dry and her heart hammered in her chest. Victoria had to stop herself from visibly reacting, but still somehow Adrian saw his effect on her. His gaze turned calculating, as if she was a problem to solve and he’d just found the solution.
What’s he thi
nking about right now to make him look like that?
Victoria was almost afraid to find out.
Almost.
TWENTY-TWO
Adrian closed the door to Adriana’s room and then carefully opened it again to make sure she was still asleep. Her soft steady breathing met his ears. Smiling, he made his way down the narrow hall and into the living room where Victoria awaited.
He glanced at his watch and saw it was barely past eight, but he already felt a tinge of exhaustion. Adriana hadn’t taken long to warm to him and had kept him on the go. She’d shown him her playroom at Kathy’s house and then insisted on sharing her lunch with him. Adrian hadn’t had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in years, but he liked it. Especially with the crust cut off.
Later Adriana made a place for him on the couch so they could watch a Disney DVD. She’d then taken him into the backyard and shown him how to draw pictures on the patio with sidewalk chalk. When he’d drawn a turtle, Adriana crowed in delight and dragged Victoria over to show her his masterpiece.
The tips of Adrian’s ears warmed when she’d cooed over it. Although it had obviously been for the benefit of their girl, he’d still responded to it by wanting to kiss Victoria silly.
Those were traitorous thoughts considering he was prepared to go to war with her the next day if she didn’t give into him tonight.
Eventually, the three of them took leave of Kathy’s house, staying just in time to see Victoria’s half-sisters before saying goodbye. Adrian had been taken aback by how big the girls were. He wondered if Adriana would grow nearly as fast and heartily hoped not. He wasn’t ready to lose the little girl just yet. Preteen years could take a rain check.
Adrian found himself charmed by Victoria’s home when they pulled up to the driveway. Although small, it was adorable—much like her—with its white picket fence, colorful garden, and cheerful turquoise door.
Adriana had been ecstatic to show him her cat first and then her house. She’d tugged him by the hand and shown him everything there possibly was to see while insisting he carry Charlie the orange tabby cat. Thankfully, Charlie seemed content with resting his upper body on Adrian’s shoulder for the majority of the house tour.
It was bright, clean, and tidy, but homey with plush seating and hardwood floors softened by rugs. There were three bedrooms and two baths. Adriana’s room was a near-duplicate of the one at Kathy’s only with more toys. When she showed him the cozy home office, Adriana was proud to say her mommy was going to start school soon to be a “P. C. A.”
