by Natasha Boyd
“No way. I need a burger. It’s on me.”
I hesitated. Joey had bought me breakfast last week, had just done me the hugest favor by driving me to Beaufort, and now was offering me dinner.
“Why are you being so nice?”
His eyebrows snapped together. “What do you mean? Am I usually not?”
“No, not always.”
His frown deepened. “Why do you say that?”
I shrugged. “Honestly, you’ve always acted … superior. I don’t know how else to describe it. Like I’m dumber than you or not good at making decisions or something. Case in point your lecture the other night on my decision to lose my virginity.”
“I still think it was dumb. Dumb and dangerous.” We got to the truck, and he opened my door.
“Oh, please.” I rolled my eyes and climbed up into the seat.
“You don’t even know him,” Joey said, still standing with the truck door open.
“Neither do you,” I argued.
“I know enough from chatting with him that he’s not the guy for you.”
I stared at Joey and could feel the frown on my face. His eyes flicked away, and he ran a hand through his hair. Then he closed the door and walked around the front to his side.
I focused on what my heart did as I watched him, which was beat double time. That was not good. I made a decision.
He climbed in his side and slammed the door.
“I can’t grab a burger,” I said, drawing his eyes to me again. “I forgot I have plans tonight.”
His gaze narrowed, then he glanced down at the phone in my hand. “You have plans you suddenly remembered?”
I cleared my throat. “Yeah.”
“With Chase?”
“Yes.” I nodded, losing count of how many times I’d lied to Joey today.
“Wow, you really meant that Jay Bird name huh? You really think I’m an asshole.”
I swallowed, speechless. I felt like shit. I’d somehow managed to turn the whole lovely day to crap.
“Right,” he said. “Let’s get you back to Butler Cove.”
THE DRIVE BACK was excruciating. The silence was awkward and filled with tension. I couldn’t think of one thing to say to break it or get back to the friendly chatting we’d had earlier. Instead I pulled out my phone and texted Chase.
Me: No plans. You want to grab a burger?
There was no response.
I sighed and put my phone down, leaning my head against the truck window. I needed air. “Can I open the window?”
“You don’t need to ask.”
“Thank you,” I murmured.
I cranked the window down, letting the salt marsh breeze in, and laid my head against the frame. The warm air streamed over my skin and through my hair. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. As chagrined as I felt, I tried to tell myself it was better this way. When Joey was being nice, it felt like it slid dangerously toward flirting. And flirting would mess with my head. Mess it up more than it was already. I should be thinking about Chase. Good looking frat boy Chase.
I must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes we were pulling into the driveway of the Butler house. I blinked my eyes and stretched my stiff neck. My phone had slid to the seat next to me. I grabbed it.
“Oh shit,” said Joey, his voice grim, and he killed the engine.
“What?” I said looking up at him. He shifted close. Too close.
“I’m so sorry,” he said and winced. “But you remember that favor?”
“What? Well, yes but—”
His mouth closed over mine.
Oh my Holy God, his mouth. His lips were soft. Minty. A warm hand ran around the back of my neck, and a hot tongue slid over my bottom lip. A thousand sparklers detonated under my skin. The shock of it dropped my lips open, and the tongue slid inside.
Heat and hunger shot through me. Without thinking, I met his tongue with mine.
A groan sounded, like an echo of my own aching response to the taste of him. Oh my baby Jesus, that groan was from him. The hand on my neck tightened. God, my body. Burning. His mouth. Strawberries. Chocolate. Silk and heaven. Oh God, oh God. This was, this was … Joseph was kissing me.
Joseph was still kissing me.
Joseph was freaking kissing me?
I ripped my mouth away from him. My fingers went to my lips.
His blue eyes blinked open as if a fog suddenly cleared, and he sat back abruptly. He looked as shocked as I felt.
“Fuck,” he muttered and scrubbed a hand down his face. Then we both jumped as a fist pounded on his window.
Who the …? Wait. I blinked. There was a girl standing outside the truck. “Is that …?”
“Courtney? Yeah.”
“From Butler Cove High? Your ex from senior year? I thought she moved.”
“She did. To stalk me at college.” He sighed.
“Are you kidding me right now? Your stalker is the chick you went out with in high school? She followed you to college?” I snorted a giggle.
If Joey wasn’t annoying enough in his senior year, he had to go and start dating the most vapid girl there ever was. Okay, now I was just being bitchy. She was super nice. Like really, really ridiculously sweet. Like a meringue. All air and no substance. Gah. Bitch again. What was wrong with me? I don’t care. I don’t care.
“We dated for, like, two seconds,” he said, his voice grim.
Courtney banged on the window again and glared at me. She’d had brown hair in high school. Now it was blonde. And wavy. Not altogether unlike mine. Huh.
“Is she stable?” I asked.
“She’s stalked me to college and back and is now banging on the window after watching me kiss you. What do you think?”
I swallowed, wincing. “Uh, no.” And about that kiss I wanted to add but swallowed that thought. There were more pressing matters. “Is she going to attack me? She looks a little pissed.”
“Oh shit,” Joey said, exhaling roughly and grabbing the back of his neck. “That scenario didn’t occur to me when I asked you for help.”
“And you’re supposedly the smart one out of the both of us.”
He rolled his eyes. “Okay.” He breathed out. “Let’s do this.”
“You so freaking owe me,” I muttered. There were favors and there were favors.
Opening the door gently so he didn’t hit the poor girl, he eased out of the truck.
“Joey?” Courtney asked, her chin wobbling. Her eyes darted frantically back and forth between Joey and me. “Are you cheating on me?”
Oh Christ on a broomstick.
I pursed my lips and got out on my side.
I LEFT JOEY and Courtney to talk through their issues in the driveway and hobbled up the steps to find Keri Ann. As I entered, I remembered Keri Ann was doing a shift at the Grill this afternoon. Nana was sitting in her favorite chair by the fireplace. “Hey, Nana,” I greeted.
She started. “Oh goodness,” she said clutching her chest.
I hurried over. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“Oh, it’s okay, dear. I must have nodded off.” She looked around her as if coming back from somewhere far away and pulling her shawl tighter. “It’s so cold down here. Look at you all bare legs. You’ll catch your death.”
I smiled and perched on the ottoman by her chair. “I’m fine Nana. It’s, like, eighty degrees out there. Can I get you anything?”
“You’re a dear girl. I’m fine. I need to think about getting dinner started. Are you staying?”
I thought how Joey and I had almost grabbed dinner and felt bad. I hadn’t heard back from Chase. Sitting across from Joey after what had just happened outside was too much. I needed some space. “I should probably go spend some time with my mom.”
“Oh, she called yesterday to tell me Dr. Barrett could see me sooner. Did you have something to do with that?”
I pursed my lips. “I may have mentioned something to her. What’s the good of working for a cardiologi
st if you don’t get some perks,” I quipped, then my mind slipped to the kind of perks my mom could end up getting, and I winced.
Luckily Nana didn’t notice. She patted my hand. “Well, thank you. Maybe Keri Ann and Joey will stop fussing at me so much.”
The front door swung open. “Hey,” said Keri Ann. “Do my eyes deceive me or is that Courtney out there?”
“Your eyes do not deceive you, and it seems she’s the reason for the favor he asked.”
“What favor?” Nana asked.
Keri Ann kicked the door closed and hung her messenger bag up on the hat stand. “You’re kidding.”
“Nope. How was work?” I asked.
“What favor?” Nana asked again.
I sighed. “Joey asked me if I’d pretend to be his girlfriend on a couple of occasions this summer.”
Nana’s eyes narrowed. “Indeed? And what does that entail exactly?”
Heat crawled up my skin, and I fervently hoped it wasn’t also visible in the form of a flush. “Kissing!” my brain screamed like it had been injected with truth serum. Incredible, combustible, hot and sexy kissing. I swallowed. “Uh—”
“Don’t you just have to say you’re his GF if she asks?” Keri Ann went to peer out the window. “In fact, shouldn’t you be out there right now? It looks brutal. Maybe you could rip the Band-Aid off? Let her know quickly? Short burst of painful truth, so she can get over it already.”
“He’ll ask if he needs help, I’m sure.” I headed for the stairs ahead of her. The last thing I needed to see was Joseph fending off some poor girl. It struck a little close to home if I couldn’t get these feelings under control. On that note, I was going to have to rescind my offer of a favor. I had a slight conflict of interest. Added to which, he might ask me to step up right when things were going well with Chase or whoever else may show up later in the summer.
As if he knew I was talking about him, my phone buzzed.
Chase: Burger sounds good. I’m at the beach right now, wanna join?
I chewed my lip as I read and re-read his text. So much had happened between my text and his reply. And I really should go spend time with my mom. Not to mention it was a school night. And God, I just needed to breathe for a second and get my head together. I stepped backward down the stairs. I needed to go home.
Me: Rain check on beach and dinner.
“Hey, K,” I called to Keri Ann who was fussing over Nana. “I’m gonna head home.”
Keri Ann looked up. “Everything all right?”
“Yeah, I gotta spend some time with my mom.”
“Tell her, hi.”
I hopped to the bottom step and back to the entryway. “I will. Bye Nana.”
Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and faced the two backs sitting on the bottom step of the porch. One broad back, muscles defined through his t-shirt and one smaller skinny body with wavy blonde hair. They both turned at the sound of me coming outside. Courtney’s eyes were red rimmed, and Joey’s were troubled.
“Hey,” I said. “I’ll just grab my bike. Leave you guys to it.” I held the rail and hobbled down. Joey stood and reached up to take my hand.
“I got it,” I said.
He looked meaningfully at me. “Let me help.” His tone didn’t match the determined and pleading look he gave me that Courtney couldn’t see. I grit my teeth and stretched my mouth to a smile that came out as more of a grimace as I took his outstretched hand. God, even taking his hand felt too intimate. My bare skin touching his bare skin. I shuddered.
“Cold?”
“No,” I snapped.
A sniff sounded. “So you two are really together?” Courtney said, looking at me.
“Yes, we are,” said Joey.
“I was asking Jazz.”
Butler Cove High was a fairly small school, it was no surprise she knew my name as her ex-boyfriend’s sister’s best friend. Instead of answering, I shrugged. I’d told one too many lies today, and I didn’t feel like adding to the tally. If she stuck around long enough she’d know it was a crock anyway.
“I have to get home.” I picked up my bike and righted it from where I’d practically thrown it in the azaleas this morning.
“You shouldn’t ride with your ankle like that,” Joey said, laying a hand on the handlebars. “Let me take you in the truck.”
“I’m fine, really.”
He sighed. “See you later then?”
Was he seriously continuing the farce? Ugh. “See you later,” I returned and hid my pained wince as I put my foot down on the peddle.
THE NEXT FEW days at school were uneventful. It was ridiculous that we were even having to show up. If we hadn’t learned it by now, it was never going to happen. It was one more week until the senior exam, and then Memorial Day weekend would hit the island. It would be Chase’s last weekend. It was bad timing really that I still had school every day when we could be hanging out. I hadn’t seen him since I blew him off on Sunday evening. By Thursday, after three full days of distance from my Joe Glow, it seemed like maybe I’d had a hormonal blip. It worked great as long as I didn’t remember his kiss. Anyway remembering the kiss was stupid because obviously, obviously, he’d only done that for Courtney’s benefit. But the look on his face after the kiss. The look that said it had been completely unexpected was what my mind couldn’t let go of. And unexpected because something had happened he hadn’t planned. And God knew, Joseph was a planner. Control the variables as much as possible. Avoid risk.
Smart, really.
I met up with Keri Ann after last period at the bike rack. The afternoon heat had built up to a heaviness that foretold coming thunder.
“You want to come over and hang out?” she asked as she spun the combination lock.
I took a deep breath. Hang out at the Butler house and possibly see Joseph. Inhale intelligent grownup. Exhale hormonal teenager. “Sure,” I said.
Keri Ann pushed her brown wavy hair off her face as it caught her lips. I envied her easy beauty. Maybe it was because my mom worked so hard on her appearance, dyeing her hair and staring at her wrinkles in the mirror every day. I always felt beauty had to be worked at, and since I definitely didn’t, I was always going to be passable. I just didn’t have the need to primp like other girls my age or like my momma thought I should. It was part of why Keri Ann and I were such perfect friends. I think we accepted our normalness, and we were okay with it. She was the exception though. She was very pretty. And her normality made her beautiful.
Faith, who owned the boutique, was always telling me to be unique. Telling me how black pearls were more prized because they were so rare. Be a black pearl, she’d say. Or even better. Be a color no one’s ever seen before. So when I’d show up dressed for work with an outfit put together from my ma’s sixties clothes and several bright color ribbons tied around my wrist or in my hair, she’d just smile approvingly and lend me a new color lip gloss she’d come across.
“So?” Keri Ann asked.
“Yeah. Cool. I can come over. Aren’t you and Nana working on a sea glass project?”
She sighed. “She’s been so tired recently. I think we’ll pass today.”
We wheeled our bikes out of the Butler Cove High parking lot and headed for the bike paths that cut all around our island. The loud sound of a truck engine revving along with catcalls, hoots, and hollers was deafening for a moment. A shiny black truck that had never seen hard work screeched past us and slowed. It was filled with some of the football team hanging out of its windows and piled illegally in the bed of the truck. I rolled my eyes. “Sand Bar tonight, girls!” someone yelled. The voice belonged to a friend of Cooper’s, who was sitting in the back with another guy I recognized from chemistry.
I waved. “When my date with Prince Harry falls through,” I called.
“Aw c’mon.” He clutched his chest. A friend of his moved his hand down to between his legs. They laughed raucously. Then he banged on the cab, and the truck roared off.
I shook my head, but
I was chuckling. Keri Ann was smirking. “You’re going to be that girl, you know?”
“That girl?” I asked.
“The one they always remember from high school. The one they were too intimidated by to actually ask out, but the one they always think about.”
“You’re one to talk. I think Jasper’s the only one who had the guts to ask you out, but I know we’ve counted about seven who wanted to.”
“Ugh. They’re all afraid of Joey.”
I put my right foot on the pedal then pushed off the ground and slung my other leg over the saddle. My ankle finally felt better today. “God. That Joseph. Cock-blocking at every turn.”
We whooshed down the path through the trees. “Hey,” I said. “You mind swinging by the marina with me? I want to drop my backpack in my room and check if the mail came.”
“Did you hear from your dad yet?” Amazing she just knew what checking the mail meant to me.
My stomach sank. “No. The last postcard I got was the one I showed you in November. I’ve written to the address in New York I’ve had for years, hoping maybe someone knows something.”
“I’m sorry.” Keri Ann’s brow furrowed.
I looked back at the path.
“But he’s had other long stretches of no communication, right?” she asked. “This isn’t the first time?”
“Yeah, I guess.” I took the right fork through the pines toward the marina. “I just … I know he’s never been around. But having him there at the end of a letter or postcard was something. And I think, thought,” I corrected, “he might be planning on moving back here soon.”
“Really?” Keri Ann sounded shocked, but I didn’t slow down. “You never mentioned that.”
“That’s coz I didn’t dare believe it,” I said quietly, then shrugged and pursed my lips. “Turns out that was a good decision.”
My best friend fell silent. I could tell she wanted to say that could still happen but didn’t want to give me false hope.
“He promised once he’d be back for good for my eighteenth birthday,” I admitted. Why was I admitting it aloud? Now it was real and he wouldn’t show up, he never did. “But obviously, if that happened, I’d die of shock, so that would make for a pretty shitty way to spend a birthday.” Summoning up a smile, I slipped my hand under the strap of my backpack on my shoulder.
