“I’m thinking Wanted or maybe Blade Trinity. Yeah, that sounds fabulous.” I stood and grabbed my plate and other items that were close to my end of the table. One of the maids from the main house would come in the morning to put things to rights. I rinsed my plate and stacked it on the counter before putting away a few things. Hyde cleaned their plates behind me.
Refilling my wine glass, I headed into the family room. My personal playroom as I liked to call it. Comfortable furniture made for giants, a massive sixty-inch flat-screen, surround sound, and dim lighting with the flip of a switch.
I flipped through the DVD library and chose an action movie. Grabbing a cashmere throw blanket, I plopped down in my favorite corner of the sectional, and got comfortable.
When I was settled, the two men dropped on either side of me. Their guns were placed on the couch cushions beside them in easy reach and I had to laugh inside at how much my own life resembled an action movie.
Halfway through Wanted, despite it being one of my favorites, I started to nod off. They both offered to help me upstairs but I told them I wasn’t tired and wanted to stay where I was. Having them close and relaxed like this didn’t happen often. I wasn’t ready for it to end.
I don’t remember falling asleep but I must have gone out fast and hard.
My den was dark with the exception of the screensaver on the television and at first I wasn’t sure where I was. I was warm, very warm, and comfortable. It hadn’t been a night terror that woke me.
It was the unfamiliar sense of complete safety despite the darkness.
As my eyes adjusted to the pale light, I realized my head was lying on Jordan’s lap. His hands were in my hair and curled around my hip. Jonas was sealed to the front of my body, his arms loosely holding me to him. I had one arm curled around Jordan’s leg, the other curled around Jonas’s waist.
Even fully dressed, I could feel the wonderful heat coming off their bodies. They smelled fantastic, like sunshine with a hint of sandalwood.
When the full impact of where I was and what position I was in with my two closest bodyguards hit me, for an instant, I stiffened, unsure what to do. They’d obviously positioned themselves to protect me in the open space of the first floor.
Then I asked myself what was wrong with enjoying a rare moment of warmth from two human beings I both liked and trusted with everything inside myself? These men would never hurt me. The hurt I carried around in my heart was a result of my own immaturity and stupidity.
I didn’t want to let go of these sensations yet.
Long before my attack I was known as the untouchable ice queen. I was too rich, too pure, for anyone to get close to…for anyone to love. I’d never wanted that. I never meant to exist apart from the rest of the world.
I had always craved touch, contact…connection.
Now, I was no longer pure and I didn’t want just anyone to touch me. Most people scared me, most touch felt foreign. I wanted these men to touch me and I so desperately wanted to touch them back. I craved contact with them like air. They were asleep.
Tomorrow I could act as if this hadn’t happened.
Right now though…I could soak up their warmth, their scent, and pretend – for just a little while – that I wasn’t untouchable. I could pretend I was a different person. The kind of person…the kind of woman…that men like Jordan and Jonas would want for more than an assignment.
So I breathed deep, taking them into my lungs. Every inch of me that was in contact with them rejoiced in it. I wanted to rub against them like a cat but I contented myself with the experience of the muscled thigh under my cheek, the long masculine fingers in my hair, and the very long, hard body pressed against the front of my body.
I stared at Jonas for a long time. I wanted to touch the hair that was gilded from the sun. To run my fingertips over lips that were almost too sensual. To trace the fine webbing of scars from the injuries he’d sustained for me. Afraid to wake him and end this, I held back. My arms were tucked between our bodies and I turned my palm so I could press it to his chest.
Some part of me should have been afraid.
I wasn’t afraid. I felt drunk on touch.
Letting my body relax, I thought there was a slight tightening in my hair and around my waist but I didn’t examine it too closely. I didn’t want anything to ruin the experience for me.
I fell back to sleep breathing them in and I had no nightmares.
Chapter Ten
My house had perfect natural light. Large windows – though filled with bulletproof glass – allowed pre-dawn pink light to slant across the floors and brighten every surface. I knew what it would look like but I didn’t see it this morning.
As much as I loved the play of light and color, I found myself unable…okay, unwilling…to open my eyes. My sundress had ridden above my knees as I slept and I could feel Jonas’s jeans-clad thigh on the skin of my inner knee. I wasn’t ready to give up the most amazing experience of my life; to go back to being completely isolated in a world of billions.
There was a light kiss on my forehead as a warm hand stroked repeatedly, hypnotically through my hair. “Ellie, open your eyes.” I didn’t want to but I forced myself to do it anyway. I found myself staring into Jonas’s hazel green gaze. “Good morning, Ellie.”
I was supposed to say something. None of my thoughts would cooperate. When I’d woken during the night, Jonas’s face had been in complete darkness. Seeing him inches from me in the light was surreal. Sleep-ruffled with golden brown shadow along his jaw, he was so gorgeous that I was in shock. I wanted to hug him tighter. I wanted to kiss him.
Jordan said quietly from above, “No nightmares, Ellie.” It was he who was stroking my hair.
“Ellie, we would never, ever hurt you,” Jonas murmured softly. His palm was smoothing small circles on my back. The combined effect of their touch was euphoria.
Please don’t stop…don’t ever stop.
“I know. I know that, Jonas.” He gave me a small smile and moved to get up. I didn’t realize I’d tightened my arms around him until he did the same. Jordan’s warm hand slid along the side of my neck, his thumb massaging the nape.
I felt my eyes growing heavy, feeling a bone-deep peace I wasn’t sure I’d ever felt before. I leaned forward and kissed the hollow of Jonas’s throat and registered his soft moan an instant before I slipped back to sleep.
When I woke the next time, the sun was higher in the sky and Padme was standing in front of the couch, staring down at the three of us with a smile. Before I could figure out how to address this completely inappropriate situation, she tucked Katie between mine and Jonas’s bodies.
“Good morning, Ellie. I was going to let you sleep but the little princess had that tiny frown between her eyes that says she isn’t altogether happy. I figured some mama time might fix it. Between you she won’t roll off. I’m going to let you doze some more; you haven’t slept this well in a year. Brunch when you’re ready.”
With a wink and a smile, she turned and left the room.
I glanced down at Katie’s face, smooth and happy now. Stroking her silken cheek, I watched as she drifted off. The sound of her soft breathing, the scent of the men surrounding us, and the warmth I hadn’t realized would be exactly what I needed combined to pull me under yet again.
The adjustment of my blanket brought me up. Jonas was rising with Katie in his arms. He smiled at me, “Sleep, Ellie. It’s still early. She’s wet. I’m going to change her and get her a bottle.”
Jordan turned and moved his legs, stretching them out along my body and pulling my upper body higher to lie on his chest. His hand smoothed through my hair and down my back over and over again. “Sleep, Ellie.”
My cheek was over his heart and I was hypnotized by the strong, steady beat. I didn’t remember the last time I’d slept so much without medication. I was disoriented but not stressed in any way.
I found my reaction strange since I’d spent a large portion of the last hours snuggling wi
th both Jonas and Jordan. My body was alongside Jordan’s, my knee over his thigh, my arm over his waist. That he was playing with my hair told me he was awake. I lifted my head to look at him.
“You are achingly beautiful, Ellie.”
“No…I…thank you.” He lifted his other hand slowly and traced along my cheek. I know there had never been a time in my life when touch had affected me as much as the touch of Jordan and Jonas. I went up on my knees beside his torso.
He picked up my hand, holding it palm down over his heart so I could feel it thump against his sternum. Neither of us spoke.
Jonas approached from the dining area and leaned over the back of the couch on his forearms. “Do you feel rested, Ellie?” I nodded and he picked up my other hand, kissing the back and wrapping it in both of his. “You must be hungry. Si is making those fruit crepes you like with fresh cream.”
Then he leaned over and scooped me up, being careful to tuck my dress around my legs as he lifted me over the back of the couch and put me on my feet.
In one fluid movement, Jordan bounded over the back of the couch and landed beside his brother. He raked my hair back from my temples and dropped all of it down my back. He gave me a gentle kiss on my forehead then he nudged me from the room to get ready for the day.
I somehow managed to make it to my room without tripping.
At breakfast, I had a long talk with Robyn and we established what she was looking for in her position and what expectations I had for her.
Katie sat in her reclined baby seat beside me and I tended to keep a hand on her. When she got a case of the hiccups, I picked her up with a smile and patted her back until she fell asleep.
“You’re really very good with her, Ellie,” Robyn said approvingly.
I blushed. “I’m probably one of the most clueless moms on the planet. I know nothing about little kids. She makes it easy on me though.”
That was the truth. Had she been sickly or a big crier there’s no telling how lost I’d feel on an hourly basis. “Once she hits three or four, I’ll feel more familiar. Once she can ride, I’ll really feel like I know what I’m doing.”
Robyn leaned against the table on her arms. “I’ve met a lot of parents over the years, Ellie. You are far from clueless. Most parents from money foist their kids off on others like a burden to get off their hands. My own parents were that way. I bet you didn’t even want a nanny, huh?”
“I realized my ignorance could be dangerous if there were a situation. I wanted one person who only focused on Katie during an emergency. Not me, not my parents, just my baby.” Katie opened her eyes and smiled when her gaze landed on mine. “You look more like Grandma every day. So pretty. I can see the purple coming out in your eyes. Get older, just a little older, so I don’t feel like I’m going to break you, Katie.”
She laughed at me and I set her butt on the edge of the table, holding her where we were eye-to-eye. Then my daughter reached out and touched my face. I turned and kissed her little hand. “What a good girl.”
Unintentionally ignoring everyone at the table, I stood and walked outside to the tiled patio. The sun was glinting off the pool I’d designed to resemble a mountain spring. Kicking off my flip flops, I sat on the side with my feet in the water.
“You are my very best decision, Katie. Nothing will ever make me regret you.” I scooped handfuls of water and dribbled it on her bare toes. She laughed hysterically so I did it again. “A water baby. I love the water, Katie.”
Pulling my sundress over my head, I carried her down the steps and walked around the warm pool with her. She laughed and smiled, kicking her feet in the water. I smoothed my damp hand over her blond hair and she kicked more. I held her and talked to her. I think she understood everything I had to say.
“Elliana Monica Fields…are you in the pool in your bra and panties?” my mother’s voice asked from the back of the house. Diva lifted her head from the patio, humphed, and went back to sleep.
Without looking up, I smiled at Katie. “Grandma forgets this covers more than the bathing suits she used to swear looked so good on me. Moms are like that…selective memory.” I shook my head at her before I glanced up and smiled cheekily, “Hi, Mom. I think there are fruit crepes left if you’re hungry.”
“Did Si make the cream with ground vanilla bean?” I nodded, containing my laughter. “Sweet lord. I’ll be right back.”
Katie and I whispered some more about silly grownups and how I would never be silly like Grandma. From the corner of my eye I saw my dad walking a huge bay stallion to the edge of the patio. “Ellie, you look so relaxed. I wanted to see if you were settled in and saw your mother heading this way.” He paused and blushed. “Honey, are you wearing undergarments in the pool?”
“Yes, Dad.”
He gave a heavy sigh then shrugged, “Better than some of those scraps your mother bought you to wear actually. Please tell me you have coffee.” He tied off the bay before crouching on the edge of the pool and kissing Katie’s head then mine.
“Dads are so much mellower about some things, Katie. They bluff and bellow but in the end they are thoroughly wrapped around your finger. You must only use your powers for good with Grandpa. He will be unable to resist you.” Katie thought this was extremely funny and I held her close, walking around the pool and humming to her.
“You put her right out, Ellie.” Robyn’s voice said nearby. I turned and she was holding a thick towel and grinning. I unbuttoned the cotton dress Katie was wearing and peeled it from her in the water, throwing it on one of the chairs. When her diaper was removed, I set her in Robyn’s hands and watched as she was bundled snuggly.
I powered up on the side and kissed her head before taking another towel from Padme. “I’ll change her and put her down for a little while. I’m truly glad to be here, Ellie.”
“I’m glad to have you, Robyn. Make no mistake.” My parents were sitting at the patio table and I kissed them both, scooped up my dress, and dashed upstairs to change.
When I left my room, Jonas and Jordan were waiting on either side of my door. They hugged me but it wasn’t like any hug I’d ever received. They stood in front and behind me and gave me a full body hug pressed between their warm, hard frames.
It was incredible.
Their heads were bent to either side of mine, their mouths at my ears. They took turns talking to me and at first I could remember which was which but soon I lost track of who was who. “You are so lovely, Ellie. So pure of heart. No one has ever held our emotions in the palm of their hand. Only you, Ellie. We will never hurt you. No one will ever hurt you again. No pressure, no rush. Just allow us to touch you like this, to hold you while you sleep. Let us try to keep the bad dreams away. We’ll slay your dragons, Ellie.”
On and on, they whispered until I lifted one hand to a muscled chest in front of me and lowered the other to the hard thigh behind me. My eyes drifted closed. Anything to anchor me, to keep me from losing my way as my own feelings flooded my system and overwhelmed my ability to think. My heart was pounding, my breath came in rapid little pants.
Hands smoothed over my shoulders, my waist. Strong fingers massaged me through my tank top. They were laying soft, open-mouthed kisses along my jaw and down my neck.
Fingertips tipped my head back and firm lips settled over my mouth. A gentle exploration, kisses across my lips. The tip of a tongue made me gasp softly and I moaned at the feeling of that same tongue licking into my mouth without force. Pulling back and kissing my lips again.
Another hand under my chin, turning my face to the side, another mouth dropped to mine, another careful exploration. By the time I’d been switched from one to the other twice more, I was unsure if I could function.
I’d been maneuvered to the wall just outside my room and they stood shoulder to shoulder in front of me, leaning on forearms over my head. My hands were on their waists though I didn’t remember putting them there.
Jonas, I think, asked softly, “Are you alright, Ellie?” I nodd
ed and felt heat climb from my chest to my face. “What a pretty blush. We have to get you downstairs, Ellie.”
With that, they lifted away but took me with them. Jonas smoothed back my hair and Jordan lifted the strap of my tank top back in place.
One in front, one behind, they led me back to the patio. My mother was in heaven, devouring Si’s crepes piled with fresh cream. “Ellie! If Si doesn’t give Cook the recipe for this manna from heaven, we are going to have words.”
“You know how he guards his recipes, Mom. Are you kidding?”
“Don’t you have it?” my mother’s brow lifted haughtily.
“Yes but I’m of the inner circle. If you spar with him I bet he’ll let you have it.” I winked at her cheekily and she laughed at the image.
“I’d likely break a hip at my age.”
That made me laugh loudly, “Yeah right, there isn’t anything brittle about you. You’d probably kick his butt.” She pulled me down in the chair beside her and stroked the back of her hand over my cheek. As usual, I felt like she could see into the heart of me.
“You look so pretty, Ellie. More relaxed than I’ve seen you in years.” She suddenly grinned, “Your daddy had the stable hands exercise Sarafina all last week so you could get back in the saddle. Sarah and Thadias said Cameron is asking them constantly about when you’ll ride.”
“I can’t disappoint Cameron. We can go for a short ride today. I’ll grab my boots.” Padme set them beside me with a smile. Laughing, I tugged them over the socks she’d placed inside and pulled my hair into a ponytail.
Bianca said she’d let Robyn know I’d left for a little while since Katie was napping. I rose and kissed my mother, leaving her to another plate of crepes that Si placed in front of her with a wink in my direction.
I watched as Mom slipped a bit of crepe to Diva under the table. I raised a brow and she raised one right back which cracked me up. “You’re going to spoil my dog.” She nodded but said nothing because her mouth was stuffed with Si’s delicious offering. “Love you, Mom.” Using exaggerated sign language, she let me know she loved me back.
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