The nursemaid bent down, trying to sooth the agitated girl. “Why did no one tell me that Rose was Sir Gavin’s niece?” Estella asked.
The nursemaid glanced up at her and scrunched her face. “‘Tis a common fact. I thought you already knew of this, my lady.”
Estella shook her head. “Nay,” she said, “I did not.”
CHAPTER 15
Estella looked back at Ashburn Castle one last time, and saw the small figures of Mary and Rose at the window, watching their troop leave. She lifted a hand to wave to Rose, but dropped it when she thought better of it. Gavin’s niece probably hated her too. And she didn’t know how much more her heart could take if the little girl didn’t respond to her gesture.
Estella closed her eyes at the memory of what happened earlier.
She had approached Gavin to make amends, but his eyes had narrowed as she drew near.
“What do you want from me?” he asked, his voice as cold as the bitter air outside. “You have done enough harm to me and my family. Now leave me alone.”
“Why did you not tell me that Rose was your niece?” she asked. “All this time you led me to believe that I was to marry you, and become a mother to your child. You did not say anything about a niece.”
His face hardened, and he looked away from her, refusing to meet her eyes. “I feared that you would reject the child if you knew that she was not mine.”
“I would never have done that,” Estella said quietly.
“Then you are by far nobler than my own step–mother,” he said. “But you don’t need to worry about this any longer,” he pointed to the hall doors. “You should go.”
“But why did you not explain your reasons to my father?” she insisted. “Why did you abduct me? Had I gotten to know you, I would have gone with you willingly.”
“What is the use of talking about this now?” he demanded, his eyes blazing in anger.
She twisted her lips, suddenly feeling contrite.
“After my sister had died, Rose’s father wanted nothing to do with her,” he continued. “And even with a nursemaid to attend to her needs, she was sorely neglected. I loved my sister, and when I offered to foster her daughter at Ashburn, her husband all but thrust the child into my arms.” The muscle in his jaw twitched. “Unfortunately in my impulse to take Rose under my wing, I didn’t anticipate that I needed to provide a gentle influence for her.”
Gavin stared at the wall behind her head. “However my affairs are no longer your concern,” he said. “I will find other ways to help in her fostering.”
“I want to apologize. I was wrong —”
He abruptly got up from his seat. She thought he was going to leave her standing there. But he approached her and said in a low voice that only she could hear, “I am not interested in your lies. I would have tolerated a mad woman, but an untrustworthy woman is of no use to me.”
He straightened to his full height. “I will attend to my men.”
And without wishing her farewell, or even giving her a backward glance, he left her standing awkwardly by the trestle table.
She touched her fingertips to her mouth, trying in vain to keep them from trembling, to keep the hurt from taking over. But it was no use, and the flood of tears still escaped. And the knowledge that he hated her burned into her heart, leaving her gasping. Even now her heart felt it was broken. She knew that if she had the strength to pick up the little pieces, those pieces would never fit together again…
“Estella?” Alys’ voice jerked her out of her dreary thoughts. “Are you all right? You have not been yourself since we left the great hall.” She searched her face as if she was trying to discover some sort of answer there. “You never did tell us what Sir Gavin whispered into your ear.”
Estella shook her head and focused on steadying her palfrey. “‘Twas nothing,” she said.
“But your face had turned as white as Bess’s wimple, as if he had struck you,” she insisted. Then a shadow fell across her countenance. “Perhaps he did strike you while he held you captive. This would explain your extreme reactions and despondency.”
Marguerite gasped. “Then ‘tis true that the monster abused you! I do not know why Father let him go if he caused you harm. He could —”
Estella raised her hand. “Please stop, Marguerite,” she said wearily. “He was a perfect knight and kind to me in every way. ‘Twas I who was mistaken about his character. I do not know why I listened to Father.”
Alys gave her a sharp look. “You are defending the very man that held you against your will. Why?” Then she knitted her brow in puzzlement. “Actually now that I recall, you did not look miserable in your confinement. In fact you looked quite happy before we showed ourselves to you.” Then her eyes widened as if she just witnessed Estella spouting a second head on her shoulders. “My god, Estella, do not tell me that you have fallen in love with him?”
Marguerite stared at her, too surprised to say anything further.
Estella looked down at the ground. “Whether I have or have not, it matters little,” she said. “He hates me now.”
“Who hates you?” Lord Cedwick said as his courser fell into step with his daughters’ horses.
“Sir Gavin,” Marguerite said, answering for Estella.
“It doesn’t matter any longer,” he said. “We will be gone from this god forsaken place. And Estella can forget that the bastard ever existed.”
“But she is in love with him,” Marguerite blurted out, ignoring Alys’ warning look. “She has gone and fallen in love with the man who took her captive. He probably —”
“He had been nothing but kind to me,” Estella cut in quietly. “In fact he interfered on my behalf when a gang of outlaws — the same ones who attacked Father — came to ambush us. They wanted Mother’s medallion but Sir Gavin and Sir Ulric defeated them without causing blood shed.”
She turned to her father. “Is it true what happened that day, Father? They said that they rescued you from sure death. Could it be that your memory of that day was impaired?”
His face began to turn red. “I — I have been thinking about that day since we have left Ashburn Castle.” He glanced over at Estella, not fully meeting her eyes. “It could very well be that things happened as they described. I cannot be sure as I was in such a state of shock. All I wanted was to get away from there as fast as possible and forget the entire incident.”
Estella closed her eyes, now understanding. “‘Tis what I suspected,” she said. “But like you said, it no longer matters. We are going home now.”
Her father looked at her, a guilty expression lingering on his face. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to apologize. But in the end, he snapped his mouth closed and just nodded.
CHAPTER 16
Gavin stood by the side of the window, making certain that he was out of view. His chest tightened with anger every time he thought about Estella, but he couldn’t stay away. He had to see her one last time before she vanished from his life.
Rose turned her sad eyes to him. “I can no longer see Lady Estella,” she said.
“Come here,” he said. He put out his arms and lifted her so she had a better view of the courtyard.
They watched as Estella and her entourage exited through the gate house.
Rose rested her small head on Gavin’s shoulder. “Will she ever come back to Ashburn?” she asked. She clutched something in her hand and brought it close to her heart.
“Nay, ‘tis unlikely. I asked her to leave.”
She heaved a sigh that seemed to come from the depths of her little soul. “I liked Lady Estella,” she said. “I saw you speaking with her earlier.” She lifted her head and looked at Gavin, her eyes steady and serious. “What did you say to her?”
“‘Twas nothing.”
Rose frowned. “But I saw you were angry with her. You made her cry.”
She watched the muscle working in Gavin’s jaw before letting out another soft sigh. “I suppose I should give this back to her,�
� she said. She opened her fist to reveal a gold medallion.
Gavin took the medallion from her and examined it. He stared at the familiar ornament in disbelief. Estella had said she was willing to die than have it stolen from her. It was more precious than life itself, she had said. But she would give this same medallion to a little girl, and one that she had only known for a few days? Why?
He handed the gold jewelry back to his niece.
She cradled it in her hand as if it were a prized possession. “I don’t think I really want to give it back though,” she continued, unaware of Gavin’s discomfort. “She told me that this medallion contained all the love she ever knew. Her mother had given it to her, and she wanted me to have it because she said I needed it more than she did.” She looked at the pendant, tracing its heraldic design. “I recall Mother used to say to Mary something about making sacrifices.” She turned to her nursemaid. “Do you remember what it was, Mary?”
“Your mother said: the ones who love you most are those willing to sacrifice the closest thing to their hearts,” Mary replied.
Rose nodded. “That was it. Lady Estella wouldn’t have given this to me if she didn’t love me.” She looked over at Gavin for reassurance. “Right, sire?”
“I saw you together in the great hall,” he answered, “I’m certain that she loves you.”
“I guess if she did, then she wouldn’t really have wanted to leave.” She gave him a sad smile. “At least the hound decided to stay with us.”
The hound glanced up and wagged his tale, looking as if he was more than glad to stay with her.
“I’m sorry that I failed to find you a new mother, Rose.”
She shook her head. “I don’t need a new mother, sire,” she said. “My mother is in heaven now, content with reading her books. I only said that I wanted a mother to make you happy.” She placed a small palm on the side of his face. “Everyone was so sad when Mother died. I know Father is still miserable, and that ‘tis why you took me away. But when Lady Estella came to Ashburn Castle, I saw that you became joyful again.”
He gave his niece a startled look.
“I know you are mad at her,” Rose continued. “But I also know that you love her. Did you not tell me the other day that you must give people second chances even if you are cross with them?”
Rose had been angry at Mary earlier and those were the words of advice he gave her. Now his own advice was flung back at him. And they stung. He had known for some time that his feelings for Estella ran deep. But could those feelings actually be love?
“You are very wise for one so young,” he said finally. He set her on the ground. “Stay here with the hound and your nursemaid,” he nodded to the old woman, “and I’ll go speak with Lady Estella.”
“What will you tell her, sire?”
“The truth,” he said.
CHAPTER 17
The sounds of pounding hooves behind them made Lord Cedwick and his men turn around.
The snow was starting to fall again, acting almost like a curtain. Estella squinted to see who it was that followed them.
Two knights came to a stop, and she recognized them immediately. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. What were Gavin and Ulric doing here?
Sir Etienne drew his sword from his scabbard, eyeing the two knights with caution. “You shall come no further,” he said.
Her father moved his horse beside Sir Etienne. “What is the meaning of this, Sir Gavin?” he demanded. Estella noted a nervous tremor in his voice even though he tried to hide it. “I had thought we struck a deal.”
“I request to speak with your daughter.”
“Your business with Estella is finished. If you have come to accost us again, I will have the sheriff —”
“Unlike you, we are unarmed,” Ulric said, interrupting her father. “There is no need to involve the sheriff.”
Her father’s horse stamped its feet impatiently.
Both Alys and Marguerite sat upon their horses, staring at the two large knights. Their faces held a mixture of awe, distrust and outrage. No matter how many times they saw the knights, they were rendered speechless, even if it was only momentary. And indeed, they couldn’t be blamed for their behavior, because even though the knights carried no weapons, they still looked dangerous.
“What do you suppose Sir Gavin wants to speak to you about?” Alys said in a low, disapproving voice. “Did he come after you to make you cry again?”
“Aye,” Marguerite said, her voice thin with anger. “Do not go to him. He has hurt you enough.”
Estella shook her head. “‘Tis best that I see what he wants before things escalate.” Ignoring her sisters’ further protests, she slid off her horse and approached the men. “‘Tis all right, Father,” she said. “Please, Sir Etienne, put away your broadsword. I will speak with Sir Gavin.”
Gavin nodded at her. “Thank you, my lady. As you can see, I have no wish to fight your father’s men.”
Her father grunted. “Be quick about it,” he said, his voice gruff. “‘Tis cold out, and I want to be away from this place.”
Ulric sat on his courser, his attention fixed on the two men that had held him captive. The men steadied their horses, watching him uneasily. Meanwhile her sisters craned their necks, not even bothering to hide their curiosity or suspicion as Gavin got off his horse and led Estella away from them.
Satisfied that they were far enough from the group, Gavin spun her around so that his broad back blocked their view. “I came to ask you for your forgiveness,” he said.
“‘Tis I that need your forgiveness.”
He shook his head impatiently. “I was not being truthful with you. I would have told you about Rose right from the start. However I had to see for myself that you were a worthy mother for Rose.”
“What I do not understand is why you did not find a more suitable woman to begin with,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “My sisters and I are hardly special.”
“Do you think that I couldn’t find a woman to wed? There are a number of women who would gladly take up residence at Ashburn Castle. But I desire someone whose heart is pure and kind.”
She uncrossed her arms and frowned at him, still not fully convinced. “You declared that any one of us would do. Those were your exact words. Do you deny it?”
“Nay, when Ulrich and I showed up at your hall, I didn’t immediately expect to find a woman worthy of becoming Rose’s mother. But when you stood up to us and sacrificed yourself for your sisters, I knew right then that you were selfless, courageous and honorable.”
“However I still wanted to put you through a test to see if you could truly love Rose as your own child.” A shadow crossed his face. “I know how ‘tis when you’re starved for a mother’s love and you don’t get anything, not even pity.”
Something in her heart thawed. She touched his arm to bring him back to the present. “I am sorry that your step–mother did not love you, Gavin.”
He shook his head as if to clear away the old memory. “I didn’t come after you to speak about my step–mother,” he said, searching her face earnestly. “I wanted you to genuinely love Rose. The last thing I desired was for you to act out of pity for her. Pity is not what she needs after her mother’s death and her father’s neglect.”
Gavin reached for her hand and held it to his heart. She felt the slow, steady beat underneath her palm.
“When I came to know you, I believed that you were the one that Rose needed. And as I was about to lose you, I realized that ‘twas I who needed you. That’s why I must ask again, will you forgive me? Will you give us a second chance?”
“I forgive you,” she said, nodding slowly. “But I thought you hated me.”
“Nay,” he said, lifting her cold hand and pressing it to his lips. “I could never hate you.”
A horse whinnied, and her sisters’ voices carried in the background, but Estella barely heard the sounds.
She smiled up at Gavin, a feeling of relief warming
her body. And when she looked into his eyes, she became drowned in their depths.
Large snowflakes floated down and settled on her upturned face. He gently wiped the flakes from her cheek. “Fairy dust,” he said. “I’m told that all I need to do is make a wish. Then I can have anything I desire…”
“What is it that you desire?” she asked softly.
He pulled her closer to him. They were inches apart, their lips almost touching. A warm glow reflected in his eyes. “To start over with you,” he whispered.
She slowly twined her arms around his neck, “I believe your wish will come true,” she said.
“Are you finished speaking now?” her father’s impatient voice called out, interrupting them.
“We should get back,” Estella said reluctantly.
“They can wait a little while longer,” he said, smiling at her. The expression on his face turned soft and teasing. “If I remember correctly there’s a partially decorated hall that needs your attention, and a young lady who’s expecting you at the Christmas feast…”
Estella smiled back. “Is that your way of asking me to return to Ashburn Castle?”
“Nay,” he said, “this is.” He bent his head and locked his lips with hers.
And all the while the snow drifted down around them, sprinkling them with the magic of winter and the whispered promise of new beginnings.
About the Authors
Kathryn Le Veque is one of Amazon’s top selling Historical Romance authors, consistently ranked in the top 50 authors for Historical novels. She has a dominant presence in the Medieval category with several novels in the Top 100 Medieval Romance rankings. She distinguishes herself because she writes hardcore English Medieval novels… no Highlander, Scottish, or Viking … purely English High Middle Age passion and adventure with an occasional venture into Irish or Welsh. She has also authored several well–received contemporary novels.
Kathryn has been featured regularly on Kindle Nation, Coastal Conversations, Confessions of Romaholics, Goodreads, Bookbub, and a host of other blogs and websites. Kathryn is an award–winning author and has legions of dedicated fans all over the world.
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