by Leann Harris
“The ranch had problems?”
He gave a shout of laughter. “It’s only a matter of time before a ranch goes through tough times. When I was a senior in high school, there was a bad drought in the northern part of the state, even for New Mexico. Mom and Dad were already paying for Ethan’s college. Don’t get me wrong, Ethan worked, tried to pay for as much as he could, but they couldn’t swing my college, too. The army was the answer.”
She fiddled with the salt and pepper shakers on the table.
“Why’d you join?” Zach pushed.
“I joined for the same reason you did—I needed the money for medical school. I wanted to become a doctor.”
Her answer caught him off guard. “So why aren’t you in medical school?”
Folding her hands on the table before her, she seemed lost in memories. A bittersweet smile curved her mouth. “I wanted to be a doctor—an E.R. physician—to help save people. But you know how the army changes you. For me, being in the field as medic, I was able to save guys. But I found once I helped save them, they were off on their own.” She stopped, staring down at her hands.
“It was equine therapy and the healing that goes on in those sessions that I wanted to do, to help soldiers.”
He rested his hand over hers and squeezed.
“It’s the best of all worlds, horses and helping others,” he supplied.
Her head came up and her gaze locked with his. “You do understand,” she said. Her gaze lost focus as if she were remembering something. “My family had horses. My brother Matt loved to ride. So did I. Since we lived in a small town, we kept our horses in the stables outside of town.
“It was a beautiful spring day and we were out on Easter vacation. I’d gotten into trouble. I hadn’t done chores around the house and sassed my mom back. I was grounded. I couldn’t ride that week. Mom had gone into Albuquerque to buy some new Easter clothes and Dad was off selling insurance. I was feeling persecuted, like only a twelve-year-old girl can feel, and went to the stables. Matt followed. I had saddled my horse, Twinkle, and was on it when Matt found me. He was mad. We argued, and Matt tried to grab Twinkle; she reared. Matt stumbled back and tripped over a pitchfork.” She went silent. Tracks of tears ran down her cheeks.
His other hand came up and he held both of her hands.
“One of the tines of the fork pierced his lung and caught his heart. He only lived for about a week after.”
Zach saw the horror and guilt in her eyes and he realized the burning purpose of Sophie’s life was to save others when she couldn’t save her brother.
“I got to see him in intensive care. He was on a ventilator and couldn’t talk. I told him I was so sorry. It was my fault. He shook his head, but I knew it was.”
“Sophie.”
She refused to look at him.
“Sophie, look at me.”
She didn’t.
His hand came up and he cupped her chin, raising her gaze to his.
“It was an accident. You didn’t intend for your brother to die.”
“If I hadn’t been at the stables, if I hadn’t disobeyed my parents, it wouldn’t have happened.” Her mouth trembled.
Lord, give me the right words. “Did you want your brother to die?”
She jerked back and glared at him. “Of course not.” When she tried to stand to flee, he grabbed her hand.
He stood and pulled her to him. “Did you plan on the event?”
“Are you crazy?”
“It was an accident, Sophie. An awful, tragic accident.”
Her eyes sought his, wanting to see the truth of his words.
“You were twelve. Right?”
“Yes.”
His hands brushed the hair back from her face. “A twelve-year-old does lots of stupid things, believe me. You want me to tell you the stupid things I did? That Ethan did? Or Beth? It was an accident, Sophie. There was no malice in your heart.”
She collapsed into his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist as the storm of tears broke.
He rubbed her back as her body shook. His heart ached with hers. Her brother’s death had scarred her. But with her reaction, he sensed there was more to the story.
He prayed for Sophie’s wounded soul and he prayed God would give him the right words to help and comfort her. He now understood the driving force behind this incredible woman.
Finally, she quieted in his arms. She felt so right in his arms.
She hiccupped. A giggle escaped her mouth. She looked up. “Thank you.”
“There’s nothing to thank me for. I should thank you for kicking me out of my funk.”
“It was your family that you should thank. They’re the ones who prayed for you.”
She stepped out of his embrace, then wiped her face. “I must look a mess.” She walked to the kitchen sink, grabbed a paper towel from the roll under the cabinet, and wet it. With both hands, she placed it over her eyes.
He wanted her to talk more about her family, to fill in the part he knew she left out. “You should see Beth when she cries.” He shook his head. “It’s not pretty.”
She laughed. “She might have an ugly cry, but she didn’t give up on you.”
That brought a grin to his face. “I know. But sometimes family can’t get past the obvious. My mother cried every time she looked at my empty pant leg. Dad ignored the situation. Ethan and Beth didn’t know whether to beat me or cater to me. How’d your family react?”
Her shoulders hunched. “Not well.”
From her tone, he knew she wouldn’t say anything more about her brother’s death. He wouldn’t push.
She picked up the proposal. “I think I’ll input these changes and then email it to Colonel Norton. I’ll follow up with a call to him tomorrow.”
He’d been dismissed. He could fight it, but he wouldn’t push. She revealed more of herself than she probably had in years. Beth didn’t know the circumstances surrounding Sophie’s brother’s death. “I’ll let myself out. See you tomorrow morning.”
She turned and disappeared down the hall. Zach walked out of the house and down the walk. He looked out into the corral behind the stable. Prince Charming and Sam were out. He walked to the fence. When Prince Charming saw him, the horse walked to where he stood.
“Hello, big boy.” Zach patted the animal on his neck. “Are you having a fine time for yourself?” The horse nudged his hand.
“I don’t have any treats.”
Prince Charming stood in front of him. Zach’s thoughts returned to Sophie and what she’d revealed. She was twelve when her brother was killed.
That had to have been a dark time for all her family. She still carried open wounds from her brother’s death. Was that why Beth had never seen Sophie’s parents visit her at college?
What would it have been like not to have your family surround you and support you?
He’d been around a lot of guys in college and the army who didn’t have contact with their families for one reason or another, but he noticed that a break with their families caused a loneliness in that person’s heart. Could that be what he saw in Sophie’s heart? Loneliness and despair?
He wanted to find out.
Sophie finished typing in the changes that Zach had suggested, saved the file, then composed an email to Colonel Norton. She included a mention of the graduation ceremony that they would have on Wednesday and invited him to come and see what they were doing. She promised to call him tomorrow to confirm plans.
When she hit the send button, she collapsed back into her chair. After exiting her email, Sophie closed her eyes and remembered Zach’s words.
It was an accident.
Matt’s death was an accident.
How Zach got her to talk about that day, she didn’t know. She’d never told anyone about that day. Her parents didn’t want to know the details, and her grandmother simply held her and comforted her. She never asked what happened. The only person she told was the sheriff when he came and talked with her. But w
ith Zach the words burst out.
If she hadn’t wanted to ride that day…
If Matt hadn’t tried to stop her…
If she hadn’t sassed her mother…
Matt had finally convinced his parents to allow him to work at the stables at the edge of town to earn extra money caring for other people’s horses. Sophie loved to go with Matt and watch him. She often helped with chores. Matt even paid her a couple of dollars from his salary.
She wanted to work there, too. Their mom didn’t like Matt working there, thought such manual labor wasn’t as dignified as their mother wanted her friends to think of the family of the insurance broker. Having horses was fine and caring for those horses was the right thing, but mucking out stalls for other people wasn’t how the privileged did it. But Grandma and their father told Mom she was being ridiculous. And selfish.
Suffocating under the weight of her memories, Sophie walked out of the house to the corral. The horses had been a refuge after Matt’s death. Her mother had become withdrawn, seeming to give up. Her father had buried himself in his work, becoming the leading salesman in the Southwest. For Sophie, horses brought her closer to Matt. Neither of her parents objected.
As she walked by the open door of the stables, she heard a man’s voice humming.
Drawn by curiosity, she walked into the stables. The tack room door stood open and the hummed tune of “Amazing Grace” drifted out.
She stepped into the door and saw Zach working on bridles. “I thought you went home.”
Zach looked up from the leather in his hands. “I wanted to check the tack before I went home. It gets so busy around here, I thought I might get ahead of the curve.”
Nodding, she walked into the room and sat on the barrel beside the door. “I made the changes you suggested and emailed Colonel Norton.”
His large hands worked the cloth over the leather.
“It should be an exciting event, the graduation. It’s a perfect time to invite people to view the program.” He stood and replaced the bridle on the hook on the wall. “It might be a good time to invite your parents to view what you’ve done.”
She jerked as if poked by a stick. “What?”
He moved to her side. “I think your parents would be proud of what you’re accomplished here. Just let Andy loose on them. He’ll convince them that you are the best thing since sliced bread.”
The statement was so over-the-top, she laughed. “You’re right. I probably should let Andy loose on the colonel, too.”
“Naw, you let me loose on the colonel. I’ll convince him that the program will be a benefit for the vets.”
“Or I could let Ethan and Beth loose on him.”
Zach’s laughter echoed in the room. Sophie joined him.
After several minutes, Sophie smiled. “You know what I miss the most about my brother? I miss his laughter. It was a thing of beauty. No matter if you were in a sour mood, Matt’s laughter could lift you out of your funk. I know my mother couldn’t scold him while she was laughing. Dad loved the laughter. When Matt died, it was as if the light went out of our family.”
Zach scooped up her hand. “Your parents were the adults, Sophie.”
“You know, Zach, the night Matt died, I went into the living room to tell my mother how sorry I was and I heard her tell Dad if it hadn’t been for me, Matt would be alive.”
Zach’s heart bled. What a devastating thing for a young girl to hear out of her mother’s mouth.
“Did you talk to your mother?”
Her gaze fell to their joined hands. “No, I ran back to my room. I couldn’t talk to my mother.”
“What did your father say?” Maybe it wasn’t as bad as it seemed.
Her left shoulder lifted. “I didn’t hear what he said. I locked myself in my room. Over the next few days, Mom never said anything to my face, but I saw the accusation in her eyes.
“When we stood over Matt’s casket, I wanted to trade places with him.” She lifted her head. “I tried to be the best I could, but… My grandmother took up the slack. She tried to comfort me. And my youth pastor was great. He helped me, and got the kids in the church youth group to rally around me. I know I was the subject of a lot of prayers.”
He lifted his hand and ran his fingers over her cheek. He wanted to shake Sophie’s mother for losing sight of the child she had left. “Perhaps you should try talking to your mother about what happened.”
Pulling back she asked, “Why?”
“She might not know you heard. Grief clouded her judgment. It’s not fair to hold something a person says when they’re mired in grief.” He gave her a self-deprecating smile. “I know. I’ve said some ugly things I had to go back and apologize for. Repent is the word your pastor would use. And you’re one of the people I have to apologize to.”
“You don’t have to do that, Zach. I understand the emotional pain you were in.”
His eyes locked with hers. He knew when her own words echoed through her heart. She nodded. “I understand your point.”
“I knew I was a jerk, Sophie, when you had to come after me that first time, wallowing in self-pity. Maybe your mother doesn’t know how she wounded you.”
He could see her processing his words. After several long moments, she nodded.
“I see what you’re saying. I’ll consider it.”
He brushed a kiss across her mouth. “You’re an amazing woman, Sophie Powell.”
“No, I’m not.”
He slid his arm around her waist. “Let’s go see Prince Charming. I think he might like a carrot.”
The lightness of his tone allowed her to relax. “He is rather spoiled.”
They walked down the center of the stable to the far barn doors which stood open. Zach grabbed a handful of carrots. Prince Charming and the other horses were out in the corral. Once the horses saw them, Prince Charming made a beeline toward them.
The gelding nodded and bumped Zach’s hand.
Sophie laughed. “He’s worse than a big puppy.”
“He is.” Zach fed Prince Charming the carrot.
Sam nudged Sophie. She took a carrot from Zach and fed it to Sam.
“I guess you didn’t stop riding after Matt died,” Zach said.
Sam munched happily. “It was my way to stay close to Matt. And there were times when I was on a horse that I cried and prayed. God talked to me through the land and horses. I know I talked to Him.”
Zach understood that. “Sometimes when I was on my mount, and looked into a sunrise or felt the breeze on my face, I heard the voice of God. There’s nothing like it.”
“Amen.”
That night after Sophie finished her evening chores, she walked into the house realizing that Zach’s words had echoed in her spirit all day. They followed her as she fed all the horses. With time and Zach’s perspective, she could see her mother’s grief had overwhelmed her. Maybe she hadn’t wanted Sophie to die, but it had been a wounded heart speaking.
The only way she would know was to talk to them.
Picking up the phone, she dialed her parents’ phone number. She ignored the impulse to hang up. On the fourth ring someone picked up.
“Hello.”
“Hi, Dad.” Her stomach danced with nerves.
“Sophie, this is unexpected.”
Not a great starting off point. “I was wondering how you and Mom are doing.”
“We’re fine. Cindy, pick up the extension,” he called out.
Her mother came onto the line. “Hello.”
“Hi, Mom.” Her stomach jumped with nervousness.
“Sophie.”
It wasn’t a warm welcome, but Sophie had to admit her part in the rift between them. “I wanted to invite you two to the ranch a week from Wednesday to see what we’re doing here. You know I told you about the equine therapy. We’re going to have a graduation for the kids. I thought you might like to see what I’m doing.”
Both her parents were quiet. Her heart pounded.
“You do
n’t have to come if you don’t want,” Sophie hurriedly added.
“We’d love to,” her father said. “Isn’t that so, Cindy?”
“I’d like that.”
Sophie’s mouth trembled. “Good. I’ll see you around two in the afternoon.”
“We’ll be there,” her dad answered.
Sophie next dialed her grandma and asked her to attend the ceremony, too.
“I wouldn’t miss it, sugar,” her grandmother replied.
“Mom and Dad are going to be there, too,” Sophie added.
“It’s about time that daughter of mine woke up. Don’t you worry your head, Sophie. I’ll be nice to your mother.”
Sophie had heard her mother and grandmother arguing several months after her brother’s death about her mother ignoring her only living child.
“I know you will be, Grandma. I thought you should know.”
“You mean warn me. You’re a thoughtful child.”
When she hung up, hope fluttered in Sophie’s heart. A hope she hadn’t experienced since Matt’s death.
Chapter Eleven
The next week sped by for Sophie. Ollie appeared stronger and was at the ranch every day. Color had returned to his face and his normal reserved attitude came back. Zach’s strength also increased each day. By the end of the week, he brought his saber with him to the ranch. He wanted to try the lunge exercise with the “real deal.” Zach and Ollie had rigged a hoop in the practice ring before the stands.
Before he started his practice, Zach’s parents, brother and sister arrived and scrambled into the bleachers. Apparently, Zach had told his parents what he intended to do. Sophie saw Lynda offer up a prayer.
Zach rode with an ease of a seasoned cowboy and cavalry officer. Sophie smiled with pride. Zach beamed, and Ollie nearly busted his buttons. The McClures went nuts in the stands, with clapping, whistling and stomping on the wooden risers.
“Look at that,” Ethan shouted. “Do it again, Zach.”
It didn’t take any encouraging to get Zach to repeat the performance.
