by Leann Harris
But he knew she had a hole in her heart. He understood that. She had wounds. He did, too.
He knocked on her door.
“It’s open,” she called out.
He walked into the living room. He felt foolish for bringing her flowers, but if this was an official date, he wanted to do it right. He looked down on his clean, white Western shirt and his starched jeans. The creases were military sharp. He had on his winning buckle. It wasn’t the “all-around” that he wanted, but it reflected his wins.
He tested his new boots. He’d talked to the army to see if he could get another prosthesis that he could put into a boot. Once that prosthesis was slipped into the flat of the boot, it would be next to impossible to get out, but it was worth it to be wearing real Western boots again. He had on his best Stetson, but took it off inside.
He heard a sound from the hall and turned. The breath left his chest. Sophie stood there in a peasant blouse and a tiered white skirt. A silver concha belt circled her small waist and a beautiful squash blossom silver necklace hung around her neck. On her left wrist she wore an engraved silver cuff bracelet.
Her long hair fell loose down her back and silver earrings dangled among the strands of reddish brown hair.
His mouth fell open.
She gave him a shy smile. “Too much?”
Words stuck in his throat. It was like Prince Charming kicked him in the chest.
“I thought I’d get in the spirit of the concert and go Western, but if it’s too much—” She started to turn.
“No.” His brain finally kicked into gear. “It’s not too much.” Swallowing, he stepped forward. “Don’t change. You look great.”
The blush on her cheeks faded. Her gaze ran over him from head to toe. “Apparently, I’m not the only one who got dressed up.”
He grinned. “Yup. I decided to do it up good. It reminds me of my first dress-up dance. My jeans had so much starch they stood on their own.”
Her laugh touched his heart.
“I’m surprised those jeans didn’t crack when I sat in my truck to pick up my date.” He looked down at the jeans he had on now. “These aren’t that bad. Of course, my uniforms had their share of starch.” He knew she’d understand that comparison.
He realized he still held the daisies and tiger lilies. Raising his hand, he offered them to her. When she smiled, Zach noticed a dimple on the right side of her mouth.
“Thank you.”
Their hands touched and the electricity ran up his arm. She moved away and went into the kitchen. After opening several cabinets, she pulled out a tall plastic cup. “This will have to do. I’m sure Margaret has something up in the main house, but I don’t think I’ll find anything here in the guesthouse.”
After fixing the flowers, she put them on the table.
“Let me get my purse and wrap and we can go.”
She disappeared into the other room.
Suddenly, life was very sweet. Thank You, Lord. I know my attitude stank, but You were there and didn’t leave me to my own pity.
Sophie appeared, a gold shawl covering her shoulders. “I’m ready.”
“Then let’s go and stomp our feet.”
The concert had been great. Sophie hummed the last duet Reba and Tim sang. Zach joined in. His wonderful baritone filled the cab of the truck.
“I think you went into the wrong business,” Sophie said after they finished.
“Naw, I wasn’t interested in singing.” He shot a glance at her. “But the choir director nabbed me when my voice changed. Of course, he had to wait because one day I could sing the notes and the next day, I could’ve been a tenor. I’m telling you, there’s nothing worse than trying to be cool in front of all the girls at school and church and then having my voice be all over the map.”
“Well, that’s a good reason, but your voice changed a long time ago. I think your excuse has run its course.”
“Ya think?”
She laughed. “It’s a convenient excuse.”
He pulled into the parking lot of a trendy restaurant that claimed to serve home cooking and old-fashioned fare like your grandma cooked. It stood on the corner of a square filled with restaurants, trendy shops and several coffeehouses.
Studying the restaurant, she said, “I’ve wanted to try the food here. I heard good things about it.” The fantasy night continued. She waited for Zach to come around and open the door for her. She got out and waited for Zach to close the door. Zach slipped his arm through hers as he guided her inside.
They were quickly seated and continued to joke and tease during dinner. Once outside, Zach guided her past his truck to a trendy new coffeehouse down the street. Over their lattes and cappuccinos Zach asked about the loan and status of the army proposal.
“I think the bank was impressed that I could get that contract. I touched base with the colonel yesterday and everything’s a go. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they just show up another day. You know, one of those surprise inspections.” She saw the understanding in his eyes.
“I’ve been there and I know the drill. I remember one day—”
“Zach,” a booming voice called out. A tall man approached the small table. “It’s so good to see you.”
Zach stood and shook the man’s hand. “Tyler. What are you doing here?”
The man stepped back and nodded to Sophie. He turned back to Zach. “I’m out. My unit came back to the States around Christmas.”
Zach turned to Sophie. “This is Tyler Lynch. He was with a unit in northern Iraq. Our paths crossed when he was briefly assigned to my unit to see how to operate some new equipment we got from the States.” He introduced Sophie and bragged on her service.
Tyler’s attitude changed and the walls he’d put up seemed to lower. She was a vet and he knew he could talk freely.
“Sit,” Zach said.
Tyler waited for Sophie to okay the invite.
“Please join us.”
The woman working behind the counter shouted a “Café Americano.” Tyler jumped up and got his coffee. He rejoined them. “I missed this when I was in Iraq.”
He sat and they quickly began to swap stories.
“So you were a medic?” Tyler asked.
“I was. Unfortunately, I saw more than my share of the war.”
Tyler looked down at the tablecloth. “My unit adopted a stray puppy while we were there. We called him Dodger, because we found her under a piece of a blown-up car. I guess she was far enough from the explosion that the piece of fender knocked her out. I heard a whimper and thought we might have a child. Searching through the rumble, we found her. Our medic cleaned up the wounds on her side and she stayed in our tent until she was well.”
His story touched Sophie’s heart. She rested her right arm on the table. “What happened to Dodger?”
“I had to go through a lot of channels, but I brought her home with me.”
Sophie clapped and met Zach’s smiling eyes.
“Too bad you couldn’t have taken your horse,” Sophie teased.
Tyler looked from her to Zach. “Am I missing something?”
Zach explained what had happened to him.
“Man, I’m sorry to hear that.” Tyler looked over Zach. “I never would’ve guessed it the way you walked across the floor and shook my hand.”
“I think you’re going to have to thank Sophie. She’s the hard drill sergeant who whipped me into shape.”
Tyler’s body language changed and he focused his attention on Sophie. “Tell me about it.”
They spent the next forty-five minutes talking to Tyler about what they wanted to do at the ranch.
“If you’d like, come to the ranch,” Sophie offered, seeing the man’s interest. “If you live close, we always need sidewalkers. Also, we have a little graduation on Wednesday for the kids in the program. You might enjoy seeing that.”
“I might check that out.” He stood. “It was nice meeting you, Sophie.” Holding out his hand, he turned to Zach.<
br />
Zach grabbed Tyler’s hand and stepped forward. With a slap on the back, he whispered something in Tyler’s ear.
Sophie watched as Tyler threaded his way through the crowd and out the door. Zach sat down.
Toying with her paper cup, Sophie murmured, “I wonder what memories he’s wrestling with.”
“You saw that darkness in his eyes, too.”
“Yes.” Sophie’s mind filled with her own visions of war—wounded men and women, blood, missing limbs, the cries of the wounded, the silent haunted eyes. The silent ones were the worst. She recognized that look anywhere. “What’d you say to him?”
Zach hesitated, then said, “I told him he wasn’t alone.”
“You think working with the horses might help him?”
“You’ve made a believer out of me. I think it will help him.” His forehead wrinkled. “I found it interesting that he brought the dog back with him from Iraq.”
They exited the shop and strolled back to his truck. His fingers tucked a long strand of hair behind her ear. “You’re amazing, Sophie Powell.”
“Why do you say that?”
His lips tilted up at one corner. “Because you’re ready to jump headlong into helping Tyler.”
She slid into the truck. Zach closed the door and walked around the front and got into the driver’s seat. As he pulled out into traffic, he glanced at her. “Nothing to say?”
“There’s nothing to say. I recognize pain and want to help.”
He fell silent as he drove her back home. She stewed over Zach’s words. She recognized pain. It was an area she knew a lot about.
As he parked his truck beside her house, he grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“You didn’t.”
He nodded and released her hand. Sophie didn’t wait for him to open her door. She slipped out of the truck and met him on the walk to the house.
He took her hand again and walked with her to the porch. “Talking with Tyler tonight, I saw his hurting and guilt.”
She jerked around to face him. “Guilt?”
“Yeah, I saw it.” He touched his chest. “I’ve also felt my own guilt.”
What was he talking about?
“Guilt for living when others didn’t,” he explained. “I should’ve done a better job on that last patrol. When I was telling you you needed to forgive yourself for your brother’s death, I had the head knowledge.
“Seeing Tyler tonight, I realize that those words have to be more than something I throw out. I have to do it. I have to forgive myself.” There was no joy in his smile, only sadness and pain. “Sophie, you need to cut yourself some slack. Forgive yourself.”
Her heart pounding, she whispered, “It can’t be that easy.”
“You’re wrong. When a person gets saved, that’s the argument they use. It can’t be that easy. It is.” He grabbed her other hand and held it close to his chest. “Lord, help Sophie and me to forgive ourselves. You’ve forgiven us, now show us how easy it is. Amen.”
When her eyes met his, she knew every word out of Zach’s mouth was truth.
He kissed her forehead. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
She watched him leave. On unsteady legs, she walked to the barn. Sam bobbed her head, drawing Sophie to her side.
“Is it that easy, Sam?” Sophie rubbed the white blaze on her nose. Closing her eyes, she whispered, “Lord, I give You the guilt I’ve been carrying. You forgave me, and I forgive myself.”
Suddenly, Sophie felt a peace in her soul. The weight of guilt pressing on her heart wasn’t there.
She opened her eyes and looked around, expecting a two-ton stone somewhere on the floor behind her. Everything was as it had been before, and yet the barn looked brighter. Sharper. More full of life.
Sam nodded her head.
“So you’re agreeing with me that burden is gone?”
Sam butted her. Sophie held the mare’s head and kissed her as tears slid down Sophie’s cheeks.
Her steps back to the house were lighter. The world was new.
Zach woke early and ate, and read his Bible. He couldn’t wait for church. Last night when he heard himself comforting Sophie, the words that tumbled out of his mouth shocked him. Every word he uttered was directed at himself.
He knew he’d been holding on to guilt. Last night, he gave that burden away. He’d tried to protect his men. He’d sensed the danger and tried to short-circuit it.
Always, he would grieve his friends’ death, but peace had settled in his spirit.
Glancing down at the table, he saw the verse in Joshua 22:3, 4 and it resonated in his heart.
For a long time now—to this very day—you have not deserted your brothers, but have carried out the mission the Lord your God gave you…now return to your homes….
He hadn’t deserted his men and tried to save them all. Most of his men came home. He gave it his all and reading those verses gave him peace. “Lord, thank You for taking that burden from me and giving me a pardon.”
His guilt was forgiven. It was no longer his.
He got it and he was ready to go to church and celebrate.
Chapter Thirteen
At nine in the morning on Monday, Colonel Norton arrived with two other officers. He introduced the two men with him, Major Simms and Captain Perry. All three men were with the Cavalry and out of Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio.
“I’m glad we finally meet face-to-face, Captain Perry,” Sophie told him. “Your suggestions for therapy were excellent. And Zach here is living proof.”
After introductions were made, Zach told the officers his story and showed them his leg. He then brought Prince Charming out of his stall, saddled him with a regular saddle and mounted the horse.
Sophie held back the tears of pride, knowing she didn’t want to be seen as an emotional female in front of these men. She wanted their respect. Later, she’d have a good cry and offer her prayers of thanks to the Lord.
Zach went through several of the exercises he used. When he did his saber lunges, Sophie knew he impressed the captain.
“Attaboy,” Ollie said under his breath as Zach rode around the ring again for another jab.
Sophie’s eyes never left the Colonel and Major. Their expressions gave away none of their thoughts.
The sound of a car arriving floated in the air. A door slammed, followed by Andy’s mom yelling, “Walk, son, don’t run.”
“Aw, Mom.”
Zach made one more pass at the target.
“Wow,” Andy cried. He ran to Sophie. “Did you see that?” As he walked to the corral fence, he said to Zach, “You’re getting real good.”
Zach stopped Prince Charming beside Andy. “I’ve been practicing.”
“Me, too. I’m better, too.”
Zach rested his forearm on the saddle horn. “You are, and there are some people here who’d like to see you ride.”
Andy glanced at the officers sitting in the bleachers. “They have on fancy uniforms.”
Sophie bit back her smile. “Okay, Andy, let’s get you ready to ride.”
The boy grinned.
The officers spent the day watching how things were handled. At one point, when a sidewalker didn’t make it, the major took off his uniform coat and worked beside Zach. All three men were comfortable around horses and did their share. They talked to the parents and riders. Once during the day, Sophie saw Ollie bending the ear of the major.
At the close of the day, Sophie sat in the office and faced the men.
“Do you have any further questions for me?” she asked.
Major Simms studied her. “Do you plan on having a therapist here on site?”
“I work in tandem with most of the kids’ doctors and if they have therapists, I keep in contact with them.”
“You realize that the men you’ll be dealing with will need to have a therapist on site.”
Her stomach twisted into a knot. “That could be arra
nged.”
Colonel Norton’s laserlike eyes pinned her. “Are you the owner of the ranch?”
“Margaret Stillwell owns the ranch at the moment, but I’m in the process of buying it.”
“Is the owner about?” he pressed.
Sophie felt Zach stiffen beside her. “No. Margaret had a stroke and that’s why she needs to sell the ranch. But when we came up with this proposal, Margaret was healthy and wanted to expand the program to help vets. Zach is a perfect example of how horses can bridge a gap in therapy that sometimes a skilled therapist has difficulty.”
The men looked at Zach.
“You’ve seen my leg. I fell flat on my face walking around the ring the first time. But the lure of riding again and being with horses was stronger than my pride.”
“But you were raised around horses,” Captain Perry countered.
“I was, but there’s magic in a horse and each of you know that, being horse people. It’s a win-win for the soldier.”
“It really doesn’t matter,” Sophie added. “When I was in D.C. attending a workshop, I went out to the program that worked with the caisson horses used at Arlington National Cemetery. Some of the soldiers didn’t have any experience with horses. Others did, but it didn’t matter. It’s how the patient feels on top of that magnificent animal. They’re connected. They feel as if they have their power back. It helped every patient I saw. Double amputees, single, even one man who lost both legs and an arm.”
The three officers sat back. Colonel Norton looked at his watch. “We’ve got a plane to catch.” He rose and the others followed. “Thank you for letting us see the facility. We’ll be in contact.”
Sophie accompanied the officers to their car. As she watched them drive away, Zach rested his hand on her shoulder.
“Don’t worry about it.”
She turned to him. “How can I not? I think things went well until they asked about a therapist.”
“That’s something you can get.” He pulled her into his arms.
“I hope you’re right.”
