“And on that note,” Mom said. “I wanted you to know that I won’t be coming in to help anymore because I’ve hired a nanny for you.”
My mom just delivered the ultimate blow. The total knock out. “You did what?”
“She’s my best friend’s daughter. You remember Trish? Well, I figured I needed to step away from this damn catastrophe you have going on here. Marin McLain, your new nanny, will be showing up today at one. She’ll be full time, live-in. Treat her kindly, son. I’ve taken the liberty of preparing one of your many guest rooms upstairs for her. It’s the one on the end, closest to the children’s rooms. That way she can get to them faster than you since you’re so preoccupied.” She scowled.
“Mom. That’s not fair.”
“Fair has nothing to do with it. Selfishness, feeling sorry for yourself, that old woe is me attitude, has everything to do with it. Anyway, good luck.” Then she turned to my dad and said, “Let’s go say goodbye to the kids.”
Pearson tiptoed back in. “Hey man, I think I’ll be making tracks now too.”
“Did you know about this?”
His sheepish expression was all the answer I needed.
“Do you really think I’m being selfish here?” I asked.
“The thing is, Grey, it’s more of you not being present. I get what Mom is saying, and I also get how angry you are. But you can’t do anything about it, so you have to move on.”
Hudson had walked in while Pearson was talking. “Pearson’s right. I was so pissed off at my ex that I let too much pass by. And in the end, it was really stupid. I missed too much of Wiley’s life. Don’t let that happen to you.”
After they were gone, I mentally analyzed my behavior. While I may not be the same man I was six months ago, I loved my kids. I tried to be a good father to them. Gathering Aaron from the swing, I went upstairs to Kinsley’s room where I found her drawing a picture.
“What’re doing, polka dot?”
“Making a picture for Mommy.”
“Can we talk a minute?”
She turned her hazel eyes to me, and I offered up a small smile. Because even after everything, all the horrible and hateful feelings, I still remembered that first night I met Susannah. Looking into my daughter’s eyes brought it all back.
“Honey, you know when I said Mommy went to live with the angels?”
“Uh huh.”
“Come here a sec.” I was seated on her bed and patted the place next to me. She came over and I picked her up, placing her on my lap.
“When I told you that, I meant she’s there forever and not coming back. You remember when Gammie and Bebop had Tricks?”
“Uh huh.”
“And Tricks died?”
“Uh huh.”
“Tricks went to live with the angels too.”
Her tiny rosebud mouth puckered as small lines formed when her brows drew together.
“Like she’s with Tricks?”
“Yes.”
“So like Tricks. I won’t see her no more.”
“I’m afraid not. I wish it could be different.”
“Why won’t the angels let me borrow her for a little bit every now and then cuz I wanna see her like now?”
Brushing her hair back, I said, “That’s a very good question. But heaven needs your mommy a whole lot. I guess the angels need her too.”
“But I need her more, Daddy. I miss her. See, it’s my picture I drew to tell her how much.” She pointed to what she had made. It was a drawing of a small girl with a bigger one and a large heart between the two. Or at least that’s what I thought it was. While Kinsley wasn’t bad at art, I had no misconception that she was Picasso or anything. My heart ached for this child of mine. Oh, how I wish I could tell her a different story. But I couldn’t.
“I see. And that’s wonderful. I’m sure Mommy loves it because I believe she can see it from heaven.”
“You think?”
“I do.”
“How come she didn’t say goodbye.”
“Because she didn’t mean to leave. It was an accident, polka dot.” Fuck, this is so hard to explain. My chest aches just telling her this. “She would never have left you on purpose.”
She balled her fists and rubbed her eyes. I pulled her close and hugged her. “I’m sorry, honey. But we’re going to do the best we can together. Okay? I love you so much, and I know you miss her. But we’re a team, you, Aaron and me.” I wanted to squeeze her because I hated she was going through this. It was bad enough for an adult. But how would this affect her later on?
“I have another surprise for you.”
“What?” She sniffed.
“We have a new babysitter coming today.”
“Is she fun?”
She better be. “Why, yes she is. You’re going to love her. Just wait till you see her.”
“Can she sing and draw pictures?”
“Well if she can’t, you can teach her. How does that sound?”
“Okay, I guess.”
We went back downstairs and I dished out some ice cream instead of the cake that we wouldn’t be eating. When we finished, I settled Aaron in the swing and we turned on the TV. About an hour later, the doorbell rang.
“She’s here,” Kinsley yelled, tearing out of the room and running to answer the door.
“Kinsley, wait.” But before I could stop her, she’d managed to tug open one of the large double doors with both hands and then both of us stood there and gaped. Suddenly, Kinsley yelled, “Look, Daddy, it’s a rainbow!” And that was an understatement.
Chapter Five
Marin
* * *
Dr. West and his two rugrats only lived about fifteen minutes from Mom and Dad. Given this, I waited until the last possible minute to leave—translation, until Mom and Dad shoved me out the door, tossing my two suitcases into the trunk of my Toyota Corolla.
Before I got in, Mom grabbed my arm and said, “Be nice to those kids. They’re adorable and need a mother figure right now.”
“You’re joking, right?” I was the last thing that could qualify as a mother figure in anybody’s book.
“No. You can do it, Marin, I know you can.” She hugged me and gave me a peck on the cheek. Dad only glared at me—the biggest failure in his eyes. His high hopes for me had long ago been washed down the drain. The daughter who he’d wanted to go to law school was now on her way to being a nanny. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but it was something I was being forced to do. How fucked up was that?
When I got to the address Mom plugged into my phone, I did a double take. Then I checked to see if it was correct. It was. This place was freaking huge. I’d always thought my parents’ place was big, but this was twice the size of their home. For whatever reason, I had it in my mind that I would be coming to a cozy home that would be cute and comfortable. This house looked imposing. The driveway circled around in front but also went around the back, only there was a gate that prevented me from going in that direction. So, I pulled up in front of the house and sat there for a few moments. I’d best get this over with.
A set of formidable wooden doors challenged me to ring the bell. I hadn’t been this intimidated since my first job interview. Pressing the button, I could hear the buzzer ringing. I waited, patiently, because I figured with a house this large, it may take days for someone to find their way to the door.
When that blessed event occurred, I found myself facing two sets of eyes. One pair of hazel irises that grew incrementally the longer she stared at me, and another set of gray ones, framed by one of the most arresting faces I’d ever seen. A square jaw covered in sexy scruff peppered with a tinge of gray, complemented by a straight nose, and hair that appeared to be skillfully arranged, made for one perfect package.
The young girl was positively gorgeous. Her features resembled her father’s, and then she blurted out how I reminded her of a rainbow, only her dad’s expression indicated I was more on the line of a freak of nature.
Deciding to jump right into this awkward situation, I said, “That’s right. My name is Marin McLain and I happen to love rainbows and bright colors. What about you?”
“I’m Kinsley. I love bright colors too.” She grabbed my hand and tugged me past her dad. “Do you like to color and draw pictures, because I got lots of crayons and stuff.”
“Yeah, I do. We can color if you’d like. But how about I speak with your dad for a minute first?”
“Okay.”
When I turned back to greet Dr. West, he was in the same spot, standing at the door. “You’re Trish’s daughter?” It was obvious I wasn’t quite what he’d expected.
“I am.” I held my hand out for him to shake. He finally did, although he seemed more than a bit reluctant to. I almost told him I wouldn’t bite or give him the cooties.
“What’s that thing in your nose?” Kinsley asked.
“It’s a nose hoop,” I said, explaining my piercing.
“Whatcha got that for?”
“Because I like it.”
“Oh. Is that a nose hoop over there in your ear?” She aimed a small finger at me.
She was asking about my helix piercing. “No, that’s an earring.”
“Oh. Why do you got those flowers on your arm?”
Nothing got past this little girl as she asked about my tattoos. I had a series of intertwining red and pink roses that started on the underside of my arm and wrapped around my wrist. “Well, I happen to love flowers. Do you like flowers?”
“Yeah. I used to give my mommy flowers, but then she moved in with the angels and Daddy said she’s never coming home.”
Gulp. What do I say to that?
“I’m sorry, Kinsley. I bet she wishes she could come home, but I also know she’s watching over you every day.”
She scrunched up her nose and asked, “How’d you know that?”
“Because if she’s with the angels, that’s what she’d do. That’s what angels do. Everyone has a guardian angel to watch over them. So, the way I see it is your mommy would be doing that too.”
“Oh. Daddy, have you talked to her enough?”
Glancing at Dr. West, I noticed him staring at me. He was sort of a stiff looking dude, like his butt cheeks were probably clamped together tightly. “Kinsley, you should go and play. Or maybe go and check on Aaron for a minute so Marin and I can talk a second or two.”
“Oookkaaayy.” She skipped out of the foyer, leaving the two of us alone.
“I expect you’ll want to show me around and all.”
Taking his thumb and index finger, he massaged his chin. “Yes, of course. Follow me, please.” He gave me a tour of the house, which was expansive. I mean h-u-g-e. There was a formal living room, which looked like it hadn’t been used in a while, a family room, which was a total wreck, a smaller den, gigantic kitchen, formal never-used dining room, his off-limits office, a big laundry room, a media room—also a wreck, and then there was the upstairs. We hurried past his room which was at one end of the hall and had double doors. The hallway continued down to five other bedrooms. The kids occupied two and I was to have one next to theirs. Each of the bedrooms had its own bathroom. This house was palatial. Who needed all this room?
He cleared his throat. “I think you should know this house is on the market.”
“Oh. I didn’t see a sign out front.”
“No, there isn’t one. Showings are by appointment only.”
His icy, clipped tone indicated I should’ve known that. The last place I’d lived, other than my parents’, was a tiny one-bedroom apartment. How was I to know that?
“I see. Will you be moving close by?”
“Not too far. I want to stay close to The Oaks Day School, for Kinsley and then Aaron.”
Ahh, she went to the elite private school nearby. “Of course. I suppose you want something smaller.”
“Why would you suppose that?” he snapped.
His snippy attitude had me taking a step backward. “I, uh, well, that’s to say, this is a really big place.”
“The size of my home is not really your business, Ms. McLain.”
Whoa. The dude was rude. “Okay then. I just thought—”
“About your thoughts. It may be best if you keep them to yourself,” he barked. “I’m trying to make this as easy as possible for Kinsley and she won’t need any added stress to the move.”
“Yes, sir.”
One slash of his perfect head was all I got as a response. Jeez, he sure was a fun prick. Most dads would like the input of their nannies. That was stupid. How the hell would I know? I’d never nannied before. Maybe I needed to be nannified before I started thinking like a nanny.
“On to the kitchen then.”
He took me down the back staircase and I wondered how the kids were doing, so I braved the question.
“There are monitors and cameras all over. See?” He pointed to the wall where I could see a small video screen. On it were Kinsley and her baby brother. He was happily swinging in his swing. Dr. Grouch held his phone and said, “I have an app. You should download it too. I’ll set it up for you. You can check the cameras from there as well.”
“Uh, my phone’s memory is shot.”
A massive sigh of exasperation shot out of him. Then he snapped his fingers. “Give it to me.”
“What?”
“Your phone.”
I dug into my pocket and pulled my phone out. “Here.”
“Jesus, how old is this?” Sharpness edged his tone.
“I don’t know. A few years maybe.”
He shook his head. “This won’t do.” Then he checked his watch. “After I show you where all the food and kitchen items are, I have to run to the hospital. Before I go, I’ll stop at the phone store and buy you a new one.”
“You can’t buy me a new phone.”
“Why not?”
“Because I won’t let you.”
“You will. This app is a necessity if you’re going to work here and this dinosaur of yours would never allow it to be downloaded.”
I shifted back and forth on my feet. This was super embarrassing.
“What?” he asked.
“I can’t afford a new phone.”
“Are you deaf or do you have an information processing issue?”
Was he always this offensive? I mean he was a doctor and they sometimes had that asshole reputation, but still. I was here to care for his kids. You’d think he’d be nice to me. If I hired someone to feed my pet guppy, I’d be super nice to her because you never know. That person could let my guppy starve and how would I know?
“No! I have excellent hearing and I process information just fine, thank you very much.” I left off asshole at the end because I was feeling a little nice.
“I said I would buy it. Follow me.”
Damn was he ever demanding. He showed me where everything was and then left me to deal with the kids. Okie dokie. This should be interesting.
I entered the oversized family room and saw Kinsley tickling Aaron. He was giggling up a storm, which made me laugh. He was absolutely precious and I found myself melting in my Chucks.
“Hey there, guys.”
Kinsley turned and said, “Watch this, Marnie.”
“Er, Kinsley, my name is Marin.”
“I know, but I’m gonna call you Marnie. It’s more fun.” Hmm. I guessed that was better than Barnie. I had a vision of that big purple dinosaur that I was in love with as a kid. I love you, you love me …
She stuck her fingers into Aaron’s ears and he giggled like crazy. It had me laughing right along with him.
“He really likes this.” She did it again. I kept an eye on them and then asked what they wanted for lunch.
“Aaron usually eats a bunch of mushy stuff and I want French fries.”
“Why don’t we all go into the kitchen and have a look-see?”
Kinsley acted like I fed her a sour grape. “I don’t think we like those.”
“Like what?”
“Looksies.”
I bit back my bark of laughter. “Oh, that’s just a saying. Instead of looking and seeing what’s to eat, I said look-see instead.”
“Oh.” She brightened up and grinned. “Come on. I’ll show you our stuff.”
She grabbed my free hand because the other was carrying Aaron and we went into the kitchen in search of food.
Then she put one hand on her hip and with the other, she pointed at two cabinets. “This one has the good stuff and that one has the yucky stuff.”
“Yucky stuff?”
“Uh huh. Aaron’s mush is in there. The yellow, orange, and green stuff and other yucky things.” She made a face.
I opened the doors and saw oatmeal, jarred baby food, canned food, and things such as that. The other had snack food.
“Yeah, that’s the good stuff,” she yelled and clapped her hands.
Not really, but we’ll let it pass. Maybe I could get them to eat some fruits and vegetables.
“What’s in the fridge?” I asked.
“Over there.” Her arm shot out like an arrow. Guess she wanted me to check it out myself. It held chicken, turkey, salad vegetables, carrots, celery, tomatoes, yogurt, cottage cheese, all sorts of fruit, cheese, milk, juices, and lots of other things.
“Looks like we have all sorts of goodies to choose from. Do you like sandwiches?” I asked.
“Yep. Peanut butter and jelly.”
“What about turkey?”
“Nope.”
“Hmm. Do you like carrots and celery?”
“Yep.”
“How about yogurt?” She made a horrible face, so I assumed she didn’t. “Where’s the bread?”
She ran to a drawer and opened it. Inside revealed all kinds of bread, ranging from the sandwich variety to English muffins and bagels. It was a bakery in there. Who ate this much bread?
“I’ll get to work. Wanna help?”
She never answered but said, “You gonna make Aaron a sandwich too cuz you’ll have to make his mushy?”
“No, I’ll get his jarred food.”
“Okay.”
From Ashes To Flames Page 4
