“No, that’s fine.” I checked my watch. I hope she didn’t take long.
Over her shoulder, she asked, “Oh, and would it be too much trouble to change him for me?”
Christ, she made me feel like utter shit. It was deserved for missing my daughter’s show. I took Aaron upstairs and changed him. When I had him freshly diapered, she walked into the room and picked him up. Without so much as a word, she gathered his things, put them in his bag while she held him as I stood by feeling like a jerk, probably because I was. Then she marched out and called for Kinsley. I didn’t have the heart to walk out with them. Or maybe it was the lack of balls. Wasn’t that something? The nanny made me feel two feet tall.
My meeting with Deanna was a waste. This wedding thing was nothing but a front. She was hitting on me from the moment I sat down and I almost told her to forget the whole thing, but then I’d have to face Josh. She wrangled a dinner out of me and by the time I got home I was beat—mentally and physically.
Walking into the kitchen, I almost jumped when I saw Marin seated at the table.
“Have a good time tonight?” she asked.
“Jesus. Don’t do that.”
“Let me tell you something you need not do. Don’t disappoint your kids and leave them hanging. Your daughter waits for you to come home every single day. And then you pay her very little attention. This school program was very important to her. Was it asking that much to attend? And your son. You act like he’s not even here most of the time. Start acting like a father before they forget who their father is.” Placing both palms flat on the table, she pushed herself to her feet and then walked past me and went upstairs.
And didn’t that just make me feel shittier than I already did?
Chapter Eleven
Marin
* * *
Saturday arrived and I decided to take the kids on an outing. We were going to eat a junkier than junk fast food lunch and then go to the local zoo. Every time they saw animals on TV, their eyes bugged out. I’d be damned if I was going to sit back and wait for Dr. Grouch to take them. So that morning, they ran around and as they watched their favorite cartoons, I planned the day.
Around eleven, the man himself came into the room and announced that we would have to leave for the afternoon.
“Why?”
“There’s going to be an open house today. The realtor has requested the house be tidied up and that no one be around from one until four.”
“Uh, okay.” After I thought about it for a moment, a question popped into my mind. “How long have you known about this?”
“Since Wednesday. Why?”
“And you decided to wait until now to spring this on me?” I was grinding my molars to the point where I would probably need dentures by the age of thirty. Dr. Grouch would get the bill if I did.
“There’s a problem with that? I thought since you planned to have the kids today that it would be fine.”
“Of course. It’s always fine, isn’t it? But can I ask you something? Does it ever occur to you that your kids would like a moment of your time too?”
Who was this person? He stared at me as though I’d lost my last brain cell, but I couldn’t care less. I didn’t waste time waiting for him to answer but started picking up the room, making sure it was “tidied up” as requested. When I was finished, I scooped Aaron up and carried him upstairs with me. Kinsley’s room was next, followed by Aaron’s, then mine. After all the bathrooms were neat and organized, I ran back down to the kitchen, where I found Dr. Grouch sitting on his ass at the counter drinking a cup of coffee. That did it.
“Do you possibly think you can find time in your busy schedule to help me get the house tidy?” Sarcasm oozed from me.
The coffee mug stopped midway from the counter to his mouth. His eye twitched for a second, and he set the cup down. “I get the feeling you’re upset about something.”
“Wow, aren’t you perceptive?”
“No need for sarcasm.”
“Oh, there’s a very big need.” I walked past him, into the laundry room to deposit some dirty towels I carried down from the bathroom. Then I came back into the kitchen, walked up to him and grabbed him by the shirt. “I just want to say one thing. You are a terrible parent.” He gaped at me, but I didn’t give a damn. Let him fire me. Between carrying Aaron around and cleaning up the house, I was exhausted. I hurried out of the room to get the kids ready for our outing.
“Kinsley,” I called out. “Come on, let’s change clothes.”
She followed me up into her room to dress. She was very obedient about doing what was asked of her. I changed as well because my shirt was damp with sweat. Then I dressed Aaron and gathered up Kinsley. When we all got back downstairs, Dr. Asshole wanted to know where we were going.
“On an outing. A fun outing.” I stared pointedly at him. “We’ll be back at four or later.”
“You’re not going to tell me where?” he asked.
“We’re going to eat a junk food lunch and then I’m taking the kids to the zoo since they adore animals and have never been in their life.” My statement had the effect I’d hoped. His jaw sagged open as we all traipsed out the door. That man was infuriating.
Both kids were happy as hell when we pulled into the junk food parking lot.
“We’re gonna eat here?” Kinsley asked.
“You bet we are.”
Aaron gnawed away on his chicken squares. It sort of creeped me out when I thought about what was actually in those little meat cubes, but I refused to allow myself to dwell on it. Kinsley munched on her burger and fries.
“This is the bestest food I ever ate, Marnie. We should eat here all the time.”
“Tell your daddy that.”
“Can we get some ice cream for dessert?”
“I think that’s a great idea.”
Kinsley clapped her hands. “Yay!” Then we bumped fists.
When she said that, Aaron pounded his hands on the table and yelled too.
“Marnie, why doesn’t Daddy ever come out with us?”
That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it? “Oh, honey, I think it’s because he has to work really hard.”
“Yeah, but does he work all night too?”
“Hmm, not all night because he has to sleep.”
“But what about after we eat dinner. Does he work then?”
“Sometimes he does.”
“I don’t want him to work all the time. It makes me sad.” Her little voice had turned sad and it tugged at my heart.
“You should tell him that.”
She played with her French fries and said, “I do sometimes, but I don’t think he listens to me.”
“Honey, sometimes, people’s hearts stop working like they’re supposed to, and he has to fix them so they don’t have to be sick anymore.” Her expression was so gloomy I needed to change the topic. “So, who’s ready for ice cream?”
Aaron clasped his hands together. I messed up his already tousled hair. “You are?” He nodded, said some gibberish, and gave me a toothy grin. I laughed because his teeth were sparse and he was so damn cute.
“What about you, Kinsley?”
“Can I have a hot fudge sundae?”
“You sure can. Let’s go.”
We all ended up getting what Kinsley ordered. Aaron was a mess. I took several pictures of him with his face covered in fudge and ice cream. It was hilarious.
Then I asked Kinsley, “What kind of birthday cake do you think Aaron would like? It’s almost his birthday.”
“I think he’d like an ice cream cake.”
“Great idea. I’ll pass that on to your Gammie.”
“Won’t you get it?”
“Uh, I don’t know. Maybe.”
“Marnie, you gotta get it. It won’t be no good if you don’t. Your stuff is better than Gammie’s.”
My heart just banged a million times harder inside my ribcage. “Can I have a Kinsley hug?”
She stood up, crossed
over to my seat, and wrapped her half-pint arms around me. “This is the best squeeze I’ve ever had.”
Aaron pounded on the table and talked in Aaron-speak again. I asked him, “You want one too?” More gibberish came as a reply, so I picked him up out of his high chair and hugged the pieces out of him. He put his arms around my neck and did his best job at squeezing me back. These kids were situating themselves into a huge corner of my heart and it was starting to worry me. Walking away from them wouldn’t be easy. It would be one thing if their asshole dad would give a shit, but from what I’d seen so far, he wasn’t very invested in them. If he spent an hour a week with them, I’d be surprised.
“You okay, Marnie?” Kinsley wanted to know.
“I’m perfect because you two are my pals and we’re going to have fun today. Are you guys ready to go see the critters?”
Kinsley laughed at my use of the word critters. “They’re not critters, Marnie. They’re animals.”
“Right, then. Let’s get a move on.”
After making sure Aaron’s fudgy face was wiped clean, we headed for the petting zoo. The kids were in critter heaven. And then we got to the llamas.
They gave us food to feed them and unfortunately, I was in the direct line of llama spit. No one warned us of that little issue with those particular creatures. Luckily, it got me in the shirt. Had it been Kinsley, it would’ve gotten her in the face. When it happened, she screamed, then yelled, “Ew!” Aaron laughed, and I rushed around looking for a paper towel, forgetting that I had Aaron’s diaper bag on my shoulder. Once I regained my wits, I pulled out a wipe and cleaned myself off, then hurried us out of the llama pen.
“Why’d it do that, Marnie?”
“I have no idea, but no more llama petting for us.”
“Yeah, that was icky.”
You should’ve been me, I wanted to say.
“Okay, onto the next group of animals.” We headed to the goats because Kinsley wanted to pet those. They tried to eat the diaper bag, so we didn’t stay too long there either. Then we visited the geese, but they chased us all over the place. Those suckers were aggressive.
“Why are they so mean, Marnie?”
“I think they’re hungry for Aaron’s biscuits.” I had teething biscuits in the diaper bag. “Maybe they smelled them.”
That answer sufficed. So onward we went. Aaron was happy riding in his stroller and we walked along looking at the animals. I checked the time and noticed it was almost four.
“Are we gonna visit the monkeys, Marnie?”
“Yes, we are.”
After the monkeys, we headed home. Kinsley’s questions about their red butts were a little more than I wanted to answer. When we pulled into the drive, it was four fifteen. Dr. West’s car was there, along with two others. Aaron was fast asleep, so I gingerly picked him up and carried him inside.
When I got through the door, four sets of eyes turned my way. A couple, Dr. West, and another woman were seated at the kitchen table.
“Marin, Kinsley,” Dr. West said.
I raised my finger to my lips, so they wouldn’t wake Aaron, and carried him straight upstairs. Once I got him settled, I went to my room to change my offensive shirt. Seemed that’s all I did these days. Then I ran back downstairs to make sure Kinsley wasn’t in the way of the adults. She was in the living room with the TV on, sitting quietly.
“Marnie, who are those people Daddy’s with?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Can I have a juice box?”
“Uh, let’s wait a bit.”
We watched TV together until all the people left. Then Dr. West came in and announced, “We’re moving. I signed a contract on the house.”
Chapter Twelve
Greydon
* * *
Marin and Kinsley stared at me like I’d lost my mind. “What’s wrong?”
“What’s that, Daddy? Moving?”
“We won’t be living here much longer. We’re getting a new house.”
Kinsley’s expression crashed. “But I like this house. Where will my bed be? How’m I gonna sleep?”
“In the new house. You’ll love it even more. I promise.”
“But I want to keep the room I got now. It has elephants and giraffes in there.”
I sat down and pulled her onto my lap. “Polka dot, we’ll put giraffes and elephants and anything you want in there. I promise.”
“Angels? Can it have angels in there too? And do you think maybe one will be Mommy.”
“Maybe so.” I’d paint every fucking square inch of her walls with angels if that’s what she wanted.
“What about Aaron? Where’re we gonna have the ice cream cake Marnie’s gonna get him?”
“Ice cream cake?” What was she talking about?
“You know. His birthday cake.”
Oh, hell. He was going to be a year old and I had conveniently shoved that to the do not disturb compartment of my brain.
“We’ll have it at the new house.”
“Will Marnie’s room be next to mine there too?”
“Yes, it will.” I glanced at Marin and she was puncturing me with those damn eyes of hers. She had the ability to emasculate me in a millisecond with that look. Shit. I was handling this completely wrong. It didn’t matter. I never expected the house to sell this fast, but that couple just moved here and wanted to close within the month. Thirty days. They gave me my asking price and this deal was too good to walk away from. My realtor already found another home for me. It was a brand new spec house that I had placed a contingency contract on and it was due to expire in forty-five days. This was a win-win for me.
I mentally ticked off a list of who needed to be contacted on Monday. Painters and movers to start with. The house was freshly painted, but I wanted Kinsley to have her giraffes, elephants, and angels if she wanted. And I wanted some changes made to the interior.
“Daddy, can we?”
“What?”
“Can we go to the movies tomorrow?”
“Oh. Is Marin taking you?”
When her happy face crashed, I knew she’d been expecting me to be the one to take her. “Listen, polka dot, Daddy will be really busy over the next few weeks with the move, but after that, we can go to the movies all you want. Okay?”
“Okaaaaay.” She slid off my lap and with her head dipped, she slowly walked toward the kitchen. Marin followed her. Not able to face them any longer, I went upstairs to shower. The truth was, the remorse and shame that covered me was so thick, I didn’t think I would ever rid myself of it. The wedding I had promised Deanna I would take her to felt like a noose around my neck. Why did I even agree to go?
It was after five when I went downstairs, dressed in my navy suit. The kids were in the living room with Marin, playing.
“Daddy. You’re all dressed up,” Kinsley said.
“Yep. I’m going to that wedding, remember?”
“Oh. I forgot.”
“You guys have a good time tonight.”
Marin’s scowl made me feel extremely guilty about leaving the kids. It wasn’t something I even wanted to do and it soured my mood even further.
When I got to Deanna’s, she offered me a drink, but I declined. The remorse about spending so much time away from Kinsley was smothering me. But, I didn’t want to ruin Deanna’s night. One of her closest friends was getting married, so I pasted on a smile and pretended I was happy to be here.
The reception turned out to be a full-blown party with a twelve-piece band and a bar that served top shelf liquor. Deanna kept shoving drinks in my hand and before I knew it, I was not close to being sober. We took an Uber back to her place because driving was totally out of the question. When she was inside, I fully intended to take another Uber home, only she grabbed me and begged me not to leave her alone.
“Don’t go, Grey. We’ve had such fun, I don’t want you to leave. Please stay.”
“But I have kids and need to get home.”
She lunged at me w
ith the intention of kissing me, but I moved at the last minute, causing her to crash to the floor. She tried to catch herself and ended up twisting her ankle since she was wearing spiky heels.
“Ahh,” she cried out in pain.
I helped her to the couch, apologizing, even though it really wasn’t my fault. She was the one who tried to kiss me, not the other way around.
“What am I going to do?” she whined.
“I’ll get some ice. Hang on.”
When I came back, I took her shoe off and asked her to put weight on it. She did. I was sure it wasn’t broken, but the morning would tell the real truth.
I placed the ice on her ankle, which I propped up on the couch. After a few minutes, she asked, “Will you help me to my room? I’d like to undress.”
Under ordinary circumstances, this question wouldn’t have bothered me, but the way her voice had turned sultry sent alarms ringing.
“Um, Deanna, I’ll give you a hand to your room, but then I have to leave.”
“Leave? You can’t leave me like this.” She pointed to her foot. “What am I supposed to do? I can barely walk.”
“I believe it’s only a slight sprain.”
“But it hurts,” she whined again. Jesus, this had been a huge mistake to take her. And then drinking all that vodka. My head pounded already, and it wasn’t even morning yet.
“Okay, let me help you.”
I helped her up, and by all rights, she was a very attractive woman, but I just wasn’t interested.
“Which way?”
“Over there.” She pointed toward the hall. “My room’s down there.”
Her bed was covered with a red satin coverlet. It looked as though she staged the room. It had the appearance of a sexy boudoir. Deep red pillows were haphazardly flung about and a black silk robe lay on her bed.
“Can you unzip me?”
She turned her back to me and I undid her zipper.
From Ashes To Flames Page 9
