by F. C. Clark
‘That sounds like a plan – not literally. I’ll tell Luke the same. She did message me to say she hopes we’re having a good time. I want Luke to call and tell them about the accident. I know I should, but I hate lying to them.’
‘I don’t blame you. Let Luke tell them.’
‘You seem OK, sort of,’ I say.
‘Oddly, I feel OK. There’s nothing I can do but be angry – but with who, our dead mum or my dead dad? I never met him, and I hate what he did to you.’ She takes my hand. ‘I have to dust myself down. It’s all I can do, Kate, or I’ll crumble.’
‘I understand. I’m trying not to think about the what-ifs. I said to Luke, what if he—’
Harry squeezes my fingers. ‘Luke loves you, and there is nothing in the world that would change that. What about Alexis? I mean, what now?’
‘I’m going to see her as soon as she’s home. I owe her for what she did. We can go together if you want.’
She nods. ‘I would like that… Do you want to hear something funny?’
‘Oh God, yes please.’
‘Raymond brought the picture of me home to finish…’
‘You mean the naked picture,’ I say and can’t help laughing.
‘Yep.’
‘The joys of being married to a French artist,’ I say.
‘Handy, right? Anyway, he put it above the fireplace to surprise me. After a few days I forgot it was there – until Mum and Dad came over for dinner and saw it!’
‘No! I assume it looks like you.’
‘Totally.’
‘Tell me, how graphic is it?’
‘Not quite porn!’ Harry laughs. ‘I could have died, it was so embarrassing.’
‘Harry, I’m pregnant…’ I blurt.
‘Hang on a minute! You’re pregnant? Luke!’ Harry bellows. ‘You’re having a baby.’
He beams at the news. ‘I know.’
‘Kate – you’re having a baby.’ She pulls me in for a hug.
‘Careful – that hurts.’
‘Sorry. But I can’t believe you’re pregnant.’ She looks at me. ‘Holy shit, you’re going to be a mum. Kate, I’m so happy for you – a bit shocked but so happy for you both.’
‘Believe me, I never planned this. I still can’t work out how it happened.’
Raymond chuckles. ‘Kate, you are funny.’
I rub my head. ‘Harry, it’s been a whirlwind… Anyway, Luke said I may lose the baby.’
‘What!’ Harry looks at Luke for an explanation.
‘I never said that. Kate has been through a lot, and it’s still early days.’
‘Shit, no. When can they tell you? Have you done a test?’ She takes my hand.
‘We have a scan booked, so I’ll know more then. Harry, I’m so overwhelmed with everything and I’m scared. I guess part of me doesn’t want to do a test just in case…’
Luke sits next to me. ‘Don’t be scared. We can do this, OK?’
5
My hand slides across the empty space. Luke’s gone to work. Back to normal. There’s a note on his pillow.
Dear Kate, my amazing wife
I listened to your request and have decided to work at Sutton Global today – please do not make me regret this decision. I understand your need for normality, and I agree with you.
Max is with you, and Rosie and Jerry. They will look after you.
I will call your parents as promised, and tell them we are home and that you’re OK after the car accident.
Love you forever, Luke x
I love our notes. Some days I wish we were back to being boss and cook. I smile as I recall the notes we used to hide in the fridge. My hand rests on my stomach. Already I feel the need to protect my baby.
I shower and dress fairly quickly today, and the stairs are a breeze.
‘Hi, Rosie.’
She looks up from the sink as I enter the kitchen.
‘How do you feel?’
‘Better today.’
‘You look brighter, and your eye’s better.’ She looks more closely.
‘It almost opens. Anyway, I need distraction, so any news from Adam?’
‘Yes – sit down and I’ll make you a cup of tea.’
‘Rosie, it’s fine.’ I head towards the coffee machine and fill my mug. ‘Carry on. Adam.’ I sit down and begin to drink. ‘What is wrong with this coffee?’
Rosie laughs.
‘What?’
‘Luke changed the coffee to decaf this morning.’
I frown. ‘Oh my God, he’s going to be so overbearing – worse than usual, if that’s even possible.’ I head towards the fridge. Taking centre stage on the shelf is a note.
‘Listen to this.’ I wave a sheet of paper in the air. ‘Dear Kate, here is a list of food you must avoid. Your folic acid tablets are next to the kettle.’
Rosie’s face says it all.
‘See what I mean? Overbearing.’
‘Oh, I think it’s sweet.’
‘This isn’t sweet, this is Luke’s normal behaviour – except it’s not normal, is it?’
‘Let’s look at the list,’ she says.
I opted for cheese on toast – extra-strong mature cheddar cheese. Apparently it’s not on the list, so I guess I can eat it.
Later, the phone rings.
‘Hello?’
‘Good morning, and how did you sleep?’
‘Really well. Thank you for the note – actually, both the notes. I assume you’ve spoken to my mum and dad?’
‘I did. We had a brief chat, and I mentioned the accident, but they’re going to come and see you this afternoon.’
‘OK. Thanks for calling them, I just can’t face it. Anyway, I do have a question for you. Just how overbearing are you going to be now I’m pregnant?’
I hear his breathing alter, and I know he’s smiling.
‘You thought I was bad before – now I will show just how bad I can be.’
‘Woo-hoo, I’m such a lucky girl. I miss you – come home.’
‘You told me to go to work.’
‘Yes, and I told you not to be overbearing but you didn’t bloody listen – yet today you listened.’
‘You sound on form today… My Kate is back.’
‘Be careful what you wish for. So, tell me in great detail what is happening in the world of Sutton Global.’ I walk towards his office with another mug of tasteless decaf that I will have to learn to love.
‘The usual – meetings, a few holding companies that I’m selling and—’
‘What are you wearing?’ I interrupt.
He laughs. ‘Sorry, am I boring you?’
‘Yes, you lost me when you mentioned “holdings” and “companies”… To be honest, I’m not really interested. The man running the operation is what interests me, so I repeat, what are you wearing?’
‘Black suit, white shirt and—’
‘Stop there! So you look hot.’ I sit back and rest my feet on his desk. ‘You know that suit kills me. I mean, it gets me every time… A bit like how you feel when I sink to my knees and slide you in my mouth.’ I giggle. This is what happens when I get bored.
‘So you called me to make me hard.’
‘Actually, you called me. I suppose I should let you continue your long, hard day. How I remember lying across your desk while you explored various parts of my body.’
‘Thank you. I will now be late for my meeting.’
‘You know what your problem is, Luke? No self-control. You’re a great disciplinarian, yet you can’t control your dick.’
His silence is the perfect response. I’m not strong enough to have sex yet, but knowing he needs me is good enough.
‘Goodbye, Luke. I love you.’
Looks like I just found myself a new hobby!
>
I continue working on Luke’s project, taking each room of the hotel and looking at every aspect of the design, from fabrics to colour schemes and lighting. Shortly after lunch, the intercom buzzes. I open the door to see a very worried Mum and Dad.
‘Darling, why didn’t you call us last night?’ Mum walks past me. ‘Luke said you’d be sleeping all morning and not to come over until the afternoon.’
I kiss her cheek. ‘I haven’t been up long.’ Another lie – I’m going to burn in hell. ‘Tea?’
‘You sit. Dad will make it.’
‘Kate, what happened? How did you crash?’ Dad asks.
‘I was caught off guard, the car clipped—’
‘I thought Luke was with you in the car?’
Crap – what has Luke said? ‘Look, do you mind if we don’t talk about it? I’m fine, I’m all in one piece. I just want to forget about it. Anyway, what have you both been up to?’
‘You girls sit and I’ll bring in some tea,’ Dad says.
‘How was Sandbanks? Harry said you and Luke needed some time together. What about your honeymoon?’
Shoot me, someone!
‘Luke postponed it because of work, and Sandbanks was fairly relaxing.’
It’s lovely to see my parents, even though it feels like the longest afternoon of my life. Mum fusses over me, and I nap while they watch a film. Part of me feels guilty, but I agree with Harry: their reaction when we found out about the adoption was one of the worst times of our lives. If they knew the next chapter in our bizarre lives, I can’t think what they would do. I don’t tell them I’m pregnant. It feels wrong to deliver the news of them becoming grandparents without Luke by my side – besides, I want proof first.
After they leave, I do some more work on the last of the rooms on the south side of the hotel. Then the phone rings.
‘Hello?’
‘Good afternoon.’ His silky voice washes over me.
‘What can I do for my gorgeous husband?’ I look at my watch. It’s four o’clock.
‘How are you feeling?’
‘OK. I’m pleased I got Mum and Dad out of the way. She wanted to know how Sandbanks was!’
‘They were fine this morning when I called, just worried.’
‘It’s done now. Obviously, I didn’t tell them about the baby. I wanted us to tell them together so I told them we would see them over the weekend.’
‘OK.’
I need to change the subject. ‘So, has your day been hard?’
‘I need to fuck you – when you are well and back to normal.’
‘Good, I love it when you talk dirty.’ I laugh.
‘You love it when I need you… I can read you, Kate Sutton.’
‘I’m not hiding from you, Luke.’ I lie on the sofa. ‘Let me think.’
‘About what?’ he asks.
‘My favourite time with you. I think Sandbanks in the cold was pretty hot – what do you think? Or maybe your three-grand blow job – that was fun too.’
‘My wife has too much time on her hands.’
‘I know. Remember the red lipstick marking my territory?’
‘Have you finished?’
‘No. When will you be home?’
‘In about five minutes.’
We laugh.
‘And that night in London – you pushed me to a point that I could have come again and again… Twice in the back of the car was not enough. I have never needed anyone as much as I needed you that night. I’m addicted to you, Kate, and always will be.’
Fuck. My game highlights our obsession for each other; our mutual need. I want to cry. This is ridiculous; I’m bloody ridiculous.
‘Please come home soon – I miss you.’
I think about all the times we have spent together – whether they were times of lust, need, or just simple greed, they are ours alone. I need a diversion, so I head to the kitchen to cook.
I scan the fridge for ideas, but I have no appetite. What would the boss want to eat? Sausages – it has to be toad in the hole.
While I wait for Luke, I glance over the work I’ve done for him. The phone rings again. I know it’s him.
‘Are you stalking me, sex god?’
‘Brave words – it could have been my mum calling. I thought you would have learned?’
‘That’s my problem – I never learn, besides I don’t regret saying it.’
‘It’s almost five o’clock – I’ll be leaving shortly. What would you like for dinner?’
‘I’ve made dinner.’
‘I think making dinner may fall into the “not resting” category.’
I chuckle. ‘Good evening, Mr Irrational Sutton, I wondered when you would make a guest appearance.’
Luke chuckles. ‘Mr Irrational Sutton will be home in thirty minutes.’
‘Good. I’ve missed you.’
‘Missed you too, baby… And remember Venice? When my glass hit the floor and I kissed your mouth for the first time, I knew you were mine. I’d never felt like that before. It was definitely a high point for me.’
The dial tone rings in my ears, along with his words. The memory of Venice and my ball gown brings a grin to my face. God, he’s right – after that it was us facing the world together.
‘Kate?’
Startled from my daydream, I turn. ‘Hi, Max.’
‘Just checking on you.’
‘I’m fine.’ I sit on the stool at the island. ‘Has Luke said anything to you? Do you think he’s all right now?’
‘He was fine when we left Russia, Kate. You both need time to get over it.’
‘I guess. Toad in the hole for dinner. I’ll bring it through when it’s ready.’
‘I can cook, Kate.’
‘I know, I just like cooking. Actually, can I ask you something?’ I place the muffin tray in the oven.
‘That sounds ominous!’ Max says.
I turn to face him. ‘Cynic.’
‘Spit it out, Kate.’
‘How do you feel about dating?’
‘Bloody hell, Kate.’
I raise my hand. ‘Don’t dismiss the idea, just listen for a moment.’
‘It’s not for me.’
‘That’s rubbish – you’re a good-looking man with a lot to offer. I want to set you up on a date.’
He turns on his heel and waves his hand in the air.
‘Don’t walk off – I have a plan.’
‘Goodbye, Kate,’ he bellows from the far side of the kitchen.
‘Watch and learn, Max,’ I mumble, plotting how to get my other victim to agree – Valerie.
Just after five thirty, the front door opens.
‘Hi – just in time,’ I yell.
Luke enters the kitchen and walks towards me, his eyes on my lips.
‘Something smells good.’
‘Thank you! Sit down.’
I dish up. Luke eats hungrily, but my appetite fades as soon as I sit down. Luke sits back on the stool and stretches his arms above his head. ‘I need to go for a run. You look tired, and you’ve hardly eaten anything.’
‘I feel sick. I’ll have something later if I feel better.’
‘Alexis is home,’ he says.
‘Have you spoken to her?’
‘Yes.’
‘Can we go and see her?’
He shakes his head. ‘Give her time. I’ve spoken to her nurse, plus my doctor dropped by to see her.’
‘How did she sound?’ I stand and begin to clear the dinner plates.
‘Tired, but pleased to be home. She asked after you. I had to speak to her – tomorrow is Philip’s funeral.’
My hands grip the worktop. ‘You never said. Are you going?’
‘No! And neither is Alexis. I offered for someone to take her, but
she declined.’
‘I know you want this cover story, but won’t it look suspicious if she doesn’t go? Of course I don’t blame her.’
‘Her PA has released a statement that Alexis is too devastated to make a public appearance. She will mourn in private.’
My hand goes to my neck. I can feel him.
‘Kate, look at me. It’s just us, he’s gone.’ Luke lifts my chin.
‘Just his name – it…’
‘I had to tell you.’
‘I know. But poor Alexis, it must hurt even though he was a sick fucking bastard.’
‘I know. But I’m more worried about you. How was your day? Honestly, how are you feeling?’
‘Fine – look at my eye. It’s beginning to open.’
He comes closer. ‘I love you, Kate Sutton.’
I link my arms around his neck. ‘I love you too. Are you going for a run now?’
‘Yes – I’ll take the quick route tonight.’
‘It’s fine, I’m not going anywhere.’
He shoots me a look. Fucking right you’re not going anywhere!
With Luke off for his run, I shower and change into comfy clothes, then come face to face with Luke, who has returned. He’s dripping with sweat. When does this man ever not look hot?
‘Enjoy your run?’
‘I needed it.’
‘Frustrated?’
He gives me a quick peck.
I’m exhausted. I slide into bed and surround myself with magazines. Within a few minutes Luke appears, a towel wrapped around his waist, and slips into a pair of shorts. He lies beside me.
‘What are you reading?’
‘Fashion mags. I wanted to ask your opinion on something.’
‘Go on.’
I sit up slightly. ‘It’s about Max.’
He looks confused, but I have his undivided attention.
‘Nothing’s wrong. Do you think he’s lonely?’
‘I can’t say I’ve thought about it.’ His brows shoot up. ‘You’ve got that look in your eyes, Harper – it’s screaming that you’re up to no good.’
‘Sutton, remember!’ I playfully tap his arm. ‘Anyhow, Max is a good-looking bloke, right?’
