by F. C. Clark
‘I agree.’ Harry speaks for the first time. I guess she feels out of place: my biological parents are together, and this is the first time she has met Ivor.
‘I can make some dinner if anyone is hungry?’ My instinct is to use food to help mend the souls and hearts of the estranged people in the room.
‘I need to go home.’ Harry stands up and Raymond follows. ‘Honestly, I feel sick. I need some air.’
Raymond takes Harry’s hand. ‘Tomorrow is a new day, yes?’
She nods at him, but I see the raw pain in her eyes.
‘OK. If that’s what you need,’ I say sympathetically.
‘It is.’ She hugs me. ‘I’ll call you later.’
‘What about you two?’ I look at my parents.
‘I think everyone needs some time to digest everything that has happened today.’ Luke says.
‘Where are you staying?’ I ask Katenka.
‘I thought I would go back to Wales tonight. I have a return train ticket.’
‘What?’ I look at Ivor. Is he going to say anything?
He takes Katenka’s hand. ‘No. You are not returning to Wales – not tonight, not ever. I cannot lose you again.’
Thank God.
‘You can stay here. We have a spare room,’ I offer.
Tenderly, she touches my cheek. ‘You are so kind, but you need time.’
‘Actually, I don’t… Twenty-five years is enough time.’ She looks away, hurt at my clipped response. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean it; I’m just scared you’re going to walk out on us again.’
‘I would like to be part of your lives, if you will allow me.’
‘Good, so you can stay with Papa.’
Ivor looks at me.
‘Katenka, I will never let you out of my life again,’ he says. She smiles coyly. God, I want to cry – happy tears.
Luke comes to my side. ‘We can pick up again tomorrow. Harry, is that OK with you?’
‘I guess.’ She looks at me. I know she’s crumbling. Stay strong, Harry, please.
After a painful afternoon Luke coerces me into eating, which is pointless as I feel sick again, so I opt for ready salted crisps. After a warm bath I lie on our bed, going through everything that has happened and everything that was said today. The shock is too much for me, and I begin to cry.
‘Hey.’ Luke lies next to me wearing shorts and with damp hair. Perfect.
‘Luke, I just – fuck, fuck, fuck.’
‘Let it out.’
‘Fuck!’ I shout.
‘I owe you an apology. You were right about Katenka.’ He runs his finger down my cheek.
‘Wow, Luke Sutton apologising… I’ve had more revelations today than I can cope with.’
‘I shouldn’t have doubted you last week.’
‘No, you shouldn’t.’ I roll to my side. ‘Christ, I doubted myself, so you’re forgiven this time! Just don’t make a habit of it or there’ll be consequences.’
‘I’ll do my best.’ He flashes his dazzling Sutton smile.
I giggle. ‘Luke Sutton on his knees.’
‘Just how you like me.’
I laugh. ‘You got it.’
‘That’s the best sound in the world – a happy wife. Seriously, how are you feeling?’
‘Shitty and oddly happy! My dead mother has just turned up from the grave, but other than that life is peachy.’
‘You’re not as fragile as I thought you were.’
‘I feel… I can’t explain it. Maybe complete? My mum and dad are together. When I found out about the adoption, I know I had Susan and Malcolm, but it felt like a massive part of me was missing.’
‘That makes sense.’
‘I know the shit’s going to hit the fan when Mum finds out. Christ, Ivor’s just made contact with them. I don’t think she’ll be able to cope with another parent coming out of the woodwork.’
‘Give it time,’ he says.
‘Harry isn’t impressed, she’s angry.’
‘Her father tried to kill your mother, and up until now she hasn’t had to face it. It was almost like a story to her.’
‘And now it’s real, I never thought about it like that.’
‘Don’t be surprised if she backs away or won’t accept Katenka. This is her psychological battle, not yours. She has to work this out for herself.’
‘OK, Dr Sutton.’ I skim his face with my finger. ‘Did you see the way Ivor looked at Katenka?’
Luke smiles. He gets it: they’re a mirror image of us.
‘It’s clear they’re still in love,’ he says.
‘That’s what I saw.’
‘I don’t know how he’s coped without her. I’ve never looked at it from his point of view until this afternoon. He lost his entire family.’ Luke’s free hand loosens the knot of my robe and he lowers his lips to my bump. ‘And how are my two favourite girls?’
I laugh.
He lifts his head. ‘I’m bonding with my children.’
‘And you have the cheek to call me crazy.’
‘Yes.’
His lips go from my stomach and head towards my nipples, which are already stiff.
‘I see you’re ready for me.’
I smile and roll my eyes. ‘My body quakes for you,’ I respond sarcastically, but it’s the absolute truth.
‘Quake? Hmm, maybe a small eruption is on the agenda this evening.’
He shifts between my legs and looks deep into my eyes. I link my arms around his neck.
‘Promise you’ll love me forever, Luke.’
‘Always, Kate.’
Forty-eight hours post-Katenka arriving, we sit in the grey lounge with Mum and Dad. God, I love my husband’s ability to take over any situation and help to resolve it. He’s told Mum and Dad about Katenka. No mention of Philip or how Katenka came to be in Wales, other than she was fearful of returning to Russia. Luke then suggested that what’s in the past, stays in the past. Mum remained silent throughout, holding Dad’s hand.
‘Mum.’ I look at her. ‘Say something.’
‘I… I can’t believe she’s alive.’ The colour in her face fades. ‘How? She’s dead, we were told she died. So she lied?’
‘We are not entirely sure. Possibly fake paperwork,’ Luke says.
Dad looks away. He knows the truth. ‘She’s here now, and there is nothing we can do about it,’ he says.
‘Like I said, she wouldn’t make contact because of Ivor’s past,’ Luke says.
‘But why now?’ Mum asks.
My eyes lock with Luke’s, begging him to answer. ‘She felt the time was right.’
‘How do we know that we’re all safe? Ivor is back too,’ Mum says.
‘Ivor’s life is different now,’ Luke replies. ‘He’s kept away for all this time, and they’ve both agreed to give you all some space.’
‘Are they together?’ Dad asks.
I shrug. ‘It’s early days, and they have a lot to work out. But they looked genuinely happy. I think Ivor is still in shock.’
‘We’re all in shock,’ Harry says.
‘Of course you are – your birth mum is alive,’ Mum says.
‘This doesn’t change anything, just like when Ivor turned up,’ I say.
Mum nods silently. But I can see the pain in her eyes.
‘Kate’s right, Mum,’ Harry says and catches my eye. ‘You are my mum. Katenka is a woman who arrived on our doorstep two days ago. I don’t know her, and honestly I’m not that bothered.’
‘You don’t mean that, Harry,’ Mum says. ‘She is still your birth mum.’
‘No, I do mean it, believe me.’ I know Harry is speaking from the heart; she is cold at the mention of Katenka’s name.
‘Dad,’ I say and look at him. I want to say, ‘Hey, Dad, you knew she was
alive.’ ‘How do you feel?’
‘I don’t want to see your mum upset, Kate.’
‘We don’t either. Listen, we’re not going to run off and play happy families with her – you are our parents. That will never change. You made us who we are. But we need to find peace, one day at a time.’ I take Mum’s hand. ‘I will need your help with these babies, Mum. I don’t have a bloody clue.’
She smiles for the first time.
‘Kate is right. This changes nothing for me and as far as I’m concerned Katenka has to earn a relationship with me,’ Harry says.
‘Harry, don’t rush how you feel,’ Raymond says.
‘I’m not. I know how I feel, and at the moment I don’t need her in my life.’
‘Harry!’ Dad says.
‘Girls, you have to let her in. Don’t worry about me, I’ll deal with it. You need to get to know her. Yes, I am devastated, but I was blessed bringing you up. She never had that.’
‘That was her choice, Mum,’ Harry says.
‘Susan, I think Kate is right. Take each day as it comes. Like Katenka is doing with Ivor, trying to figure out her new life.’ Luke looks at me.
‘I agree,’ Dad says.
‘I can’t change that she’s arrived.’ Mum takes a breath. ‘I should meet her.’
‘Mum, we have all the time in the world. Me and Harry are in no rush.’
She touches my cheek. ‘OK,’ she whispers.
Harry moves over to Raymond. She’s in no rush to make any contact with Katenka – ever.
I long for today to be over.
‘Right, then. I’ve had enough of talking about something we can’t change and I promised you roast beef.’ I use food as a diversion. ‘Luke, can you grab a bottle of red wine from the cellar? Mum, I want you to make the Yorkshire puddings, and Harry, you can lay the table.’ I stand and leave the lounge, but the pain in my heart is crushing. I feel torn. I love my mum and always will, but I’m instantly drawn to Katenka. Something deep inside me already loves her.
Luke pulls my arm and steers me to the dining room. ‘It’s done. They can figure it out for themselves, Kate.’
His eyes meet mine.
‘I know – it’s just shit.’
His smile warms my heart. ‘Yes, it is.’
‘Thank you for telling them.’
‘It’s easier for me, and Susan has taken it well.’
‘I hope so, Luke. I love her. She and Dad saved me and Harry from…’
‘Let me save you, Kate,’ he says and kisses me.
He does, every day. He is my saviour.
20
‘Luke, breakfast!’ I yell from the kitchen, placing a full English on the counter top. Within a few seconds he’s there, on the phone.
‘It’s not my problem – sort it.’ He ends the call.
‘Everything OK?’ I ask.
‘Fine.’ He begins to eat. Food is the perfect Sutton mood diffuser.
‘You think you’ve got problems?’
Luke stops mid-chew.
‘Look.’ I walk over to him and raise my top.
He laughs.
‘It’s not funny. I love these trousers.’ I try again, but the zip barely does up halfway, never mind the button.
‘You knew it wouldn’t be long before your clothes wouldn’t fit – especially with twins.’
‘I know, but… it just feels a bit surreal.’
‘Sit – eat your breakfast,’ he says.
‘I’m not hungry.’ My sulking alter ego is visiting this morning with a suitcase full of maternity clothes.
Luke pulls my stool closer to his. ‘There’ll never be a time that I won’t want to fuck you.’
My Sutton with a silver tongue – perfect. ‘We’ll see about that.’
‘Never. You have my word.’
‘Even though you had a threesome and spanked some model’s arse?’
‘There’s no comparison. I will always want you.’
‘Did you just admit you had a threesome?’ One day the truth will be revealed, but until then I will assume he’s lying – purely for my own sanity.
Luke chuckles.
‘This conversation is done, forever… Actually, I need to tell you something.’
‘Go on.’
‘I’m going to invite someone for lunch at Sutton Global.’
Warily, Luke watches me. ‘That sounds ominous.’
‘Charles Morley.’
‘What? No fucking way.’
‘Ah – hello, I wasn’t asking for your permission, Luke. I wondered if you would like to join us.’
‘Have you spoken to him?’
‘Not yet. I’ll call him soon.’
‘We don’t get on and never will. I don’t see why you feel the need to meet him.’
‘I need to tell him his dad saved Katenka.’
‘I would rather you didn’t have that discussion.’
‘He knows everything except that she’s alive.’
Luke’s brows snap together.
‘What? It is what it is, Luke. Alexis told him everything. She needed someone apart from me and Harry. Luke, two weeks ago everything changed when Katenka landed on our doorstep. I hope they changed for the better, and whether you like him or not he did try and help me.’
Luke sighs, exasperated by my need to smooth things over.
‘The information he gave me on Katenka could have dropped his dad in the shit, but he gave it to me anyway. Plus he never told anyone. I think he’s odd, but he does seem to have a heart.’
‘Fair enough. I will allow him to attend lunch at Sutton Global.’
I laugh, pushing the food around my plate. ‘How kind of you,’ I mock him.
‘You’re welcome,’ he says and smirks.
‘I admit the whole situation is completely fucked up.’
Luke scowls.
‘Well, it is.’
‘Maybe, and maybe you could choose a word other than “fucked”!’
I lean to his lips. ‘I like it when you say it.’
‘That’s different,’ he says and gives me a very slow and lingering kiss.
I pull away. ‘Guess what I saw this morning?’
‘It’s too early for games,’ he says.
‘Guess!’
‘No.’
I take a breath. ‘You’re no fun.’
‘Spill, Harper.’
‘I saw Valerie leaving Max’s apartment and he looked very casual, if you get my drift… He had bed hair!’
‘And your point is?’
I tap Luke’s arm. ‘My point is, Mr I-know-nothing-about-love, she must have stayed the night.’ I clap.
‘She stayed last week – twice.’
‘What? You never told me!’
‘Max asked if it bothered me. I told him he can come and go as he pleases.’
‘Come, I would have thought!’ God, I’m hilarious, but I laugh alone.
‘Jesus, Kate.’ Luke stands and gives me a kiss.
‘It’s a love story – get with the programme.’ I join him at the sink. ‘So, Mr World Domination Sutton, how does it feel to lose a challenge – especially to a girl?’
Luke sniggers. ‘Maybe you should have rethought your strategy plan. I know how much you love me paying attention to your arse.’
‘Keys,’ I say and hold out my hand.
‘Fine. You won.’
‘I’m thinking a nice Saturday afternoon drive through London, down a couple of narrow streets.’ I whistle. ‘You know how tight those lanes are.’
Luke cups my arse, pulling me close to him. ‘You can drive my car, but if you scratch it I will tie you to the bed and tease you, and when you apologise I may allow you to have an orgasm.’
‘I might go and scratch i
t now.’
Immediately he takes my mouth, swirling his tongue against mine, and my leg hooks around his, leaving no distance between us. I feel him harden. God, he’s ready and so am I.
‘Kate… Kate?’ Rosie shouts from the rear of the kitchen.
I lower my leg and pull away. ‘Shit timing,’ I whisper.
He looks at his watch. ‘I know. But we need to leave.’
I gently grope his erection, which presses against his trousers. ‘Five minutes won’t hurt. What’s the point of being the boss if you can’t spare some fucking time? Gotta love a pun, right?’ I laugh and begin to walk away from him, but he takes my arm and pulls me back.
‘Your mouth needs fucking,’ he mutters.
‘It does, and I would sink to my knees right now, but I can’t,’ I whisper and quickly step away. ‘Is everything OK, Rosie?’
‘It’s Adam. He’s coming back the week after next for an interview.’
‘Really? Oh my God, that’s fantastic news.’
‘I can’t believe it. Can you ask Barney if he can stay with him again?’
‘Of course he can.’ I look across at Luke, standing in the doorway tapping his watch. ‘I need to go, Rosie. I’ll catch up with you tonight.’
I slide into the rear seat of the Bentley next to Luke as he goes through some paperwork.
‘I bloody hope Adam gets that surgical position. I mean, if he doesn’t Rosie will be devastated. Jerry will cope, obviously, but Rosie will be upset.’ Concentrating on what he’s reading, Luke offers no response. I grab his paperwork.
‘Kate, I’m reading.’
‘You have all day to read! Anyway, I need you.’
I lay his papers on the seat next to me. I tuck myself as close as possible to Luke, and swing my legs over his.
‘Better?’ he asks.
‘Much.’ I relax against him. ‘Why don’t you take the afternoon off work?’
His phone bleeps. Before he answers me he begins to read the email.
‘Luke!’
‘You asked me to take the afternoon off. I have back-to-back meetings.’
‘Fine.’ I admit defeat. I know he’s busy but for some reason I need him today.
We remain in the same position until Max pulls up outside Sutton Global. As ever, Luke takes my hand and we walk side by side towards our offices.
